The U.S. Government sold out their citizens' rights. Vote them out!!

The U.S. just signed on to fascism. Seriously. It now fits exactly by definition. If you don't know what fascism is and think that I am just throwing around a dirty word, read it. You will be in shock.

"The most ridiculous part of the TPP is that it allows multinational corporations to sue the governments they set up shop in if their profits don't match expectations, as long as they can blame it on something the government did such as a labor or environmental policy. Under such a system a company like Nike could sue the federal government for lost profits if they were to raise the minimum wage, or even if they were to not lower the wage to bring things in line with their sweatshops overseas. " -- comment from this video.

This is the list of senators who voted YES on the Fast Track of TPP/TPA.
They just sold our country. Flushed it down the drain.

Next election, vote these traitorous senators out.

It is truly disgusting what all those YES's voted for: http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1072043/pg1

The “Monsanto provision” included in the bill requires that U.S. negotiators fight for rules in trade agreements that eliminate so-called “barriers” to markets, such as the labeling of GMOs. Biotechnology companies consider that such information is unnecessary for the consumers and would have a deterrent effect on their profits, because of the numerous concerns over health and/or environment risks that people believe genetically engineered crops and foods. Currently 64 countries require genetically engineered food to be labeled, including Japan, China, Brazil, and the countries of the European Union. 

Other consumer groups have echoed DeFazio’s concerns. 

“At a time when Americans overwhelmingly want a right to know what they are buying and feeding their families, it is appalling that Congress would encourage stripping other countries of their right to label genetically engineered foods,” said Colin O’Neil, Director of Government Affairs at Center for Food Safety. “Each country has justifiably required the labeling of GE (genetically engineered) foods; the only thing that cannot be justified is why consumers in the US don’t have the same right to know as consumers in 64 other countries around the world.”

This content was originally published by teleSUR at the following address: 
http://www.telesurtv.net/english/news/US-Lawmaker-Slams-Monsanto-Provision-in-Fast-Track-Bill-for-TPP-20150429-0030.html. 

In case you think all the senators were listed, they weren't. Our ethical politicians were in the minority. Want to know who you should be voting for and against? Easy, here is the breakdown by vote:

Only the NAYS are worthy of staying in office. They voted their conscience.

Don't forgive any politician who voted YEA. The YEA votes do not care about America's future. Were they bribed, threatened, or too apathetic to bother reading it?
Our founding fathers would be horrified and ashamed.
Mussolini would be proud.

A woman's body image and how easy it is to ruin

Las Vegas is a world famous adult playground. Working there can bring in big money, but it comes at a price. Vegas is all image and people pride themselves on being hustlers. Being fake is the norm. Everyone is judged--on looks, body, age, money, car, who you're sleeping with--not only did I hate living there, it ruined my normal healthy body image.

From stripping at the top Las Vegas gentlemen's clubs, I saw it all. I worked at Crazy Horse Too, Olympic Garden, Sapphire, and Spearmint Rhino. I was at the top clubs at the right times. Crazy Horse Too is the best club I have ever worked at. They treated their ladies with more respect than is experienced in this industry; it was excellent for my mental health and self-esteem. I worked there up until the day they closed.

On the polar opposite end of the spectrum was Spearmint Rhino. It was a toxic environment. There were actually a few occasions when the morning manager at Spearmint Rhino came up to me while I was on stage (!!) and told me I needed to lose weight before my next shift. Are you kidding me?!? I have curves, not rolls.

This is what I looked like at that time:

Instead of being brushing it off as an asshole Spearmint Rhino manager being a jerk when he was lucky enough to get hired at a top US strip club, it scarred me for life. Here are a few more pictures from the past: 

Because of these negative experiences, now I can't stop critiquing myself; it is ingrained and automatic. I am writing this as a real woman. A real woman who, with a pin-up body, was given a body image complex. Back then I was in the gym a few hours every day. Currently, all I have time for is an hour a day. Knowing that I don't look my personal best messes with me a lot. I'm in pretty good shape and not fat, but again...if my body wasn't good enough when it looked like that, how can I ever be satisfied?

By the way, the image below is what I was expected to look like (obviously less "fat" than above). I haven't looked like that since I quit smoking weed. 

(Quitting pot immediately made me gain 10 pounds that hasn't left me since. *sigh*)

Few women share their insecurities. I wrote this to bring awareness to the damage that can be done to the feminine ego. A joke to a man can seriously hurt a woman. She may not tell you, yet your words may still ring in her head decades later. Hundreds of compliments can't undue the damage of one well-placed insult.

Monica

Remember "Monica" from my gym? She became a major motivator for me with just her presence taking my workouts up a notch. And her body has continued to improve. Wow, she could easily compete. However, now that I know the reason why, I must revise my April statement. I will NOT be doing what Monica does to get what she has.

Apparently, Monica, and a few other women at my gym, take steroids. I found out because they were recently offered to me, as well. I had a long discussion with a bodybuilder I trust. He said normally he is pro-hormones, but never for women because steroids are not women hormones. After he told me that, I started to pay attention and noticed that many of them do have a slight masculine facial appearance. While they have amazingly gorgeous bodies, I am not willing to masculinize my look at all. The first time I was exposed to hearing about women taking steroids was from a stripper I knew a decade ago. She didn't look masculine, but maybe she took very little or was new to them. I don't know. I just know that I am not willing to take this risk. Even for a perfect body.

What I do miss is the ECA stacks. Aspirin and alcohol (separately, not together) are both much more dangerous than ephedrine. The argument that ephedrine is used to make meth so it needs to be made illegal is just ridiculous. Baking soda is an essential ingredient to make crack, but you can still buy it everywhere. Ephedrine got a bad rap.


How disappointing ECA is gone! Equally disappointing is that those women got their results through steroids since I am not willing to go that route. I still go to the gym. I still stare at their bodies. But I no longer believe I will accomplish the same results.  :(

The Hot Crazy Matrix

I love this: "At any moment in time, any woman that you have previously located on this chart can vanish from that location and appear anywhere else on the chart."

Telling someone that you like him or her romantically

I live by the motto "minimize regret" so I would much rather face potential embarrassment or humiliation than forever wonder "what if?". Life is too short to not pursue that which excites you. If it is a job, do it! Somewhere you want to visit, go! And if it is a potential partner, you must find out if you are meant to be. The worst thing that can happen is for you to keep your love interest a secret and then that person gets engaged. THAT is the wrong time to tell of your interest--you already lost your chance.

Telling someone new that you like him or her can be terrifying. Saying it in email is easier because the words can be perfected before pressing "send." However, by putting it in writing, it is pretty impossible to take back. But, why would you want to? Even if the person isn't interested in you back, don't they deserve the ego boost of knowing someone was interested? After all, you like that person, wouldn't you want to create good feelings?

If you are true friends instead of virtual strangers, casual acquaintances, or hookup buddies, then it becomes much more awkward. Sometimes expressing interest in someone ruins your friendship. I have only once lost a friendship with a man for expressing my interest (he could have just said no, lol), but I have cut off a few friendships after the man expressed his. It wasn't because he liked me, it was because his liking me was interfering with our friendship.


Need help? This video is excellent:

Morphing from selfish to selfless

Selfishness is common. Many people won't help others unless they get a direct benefit. Even a large percentage of those who believe they are different will often still tell people about their good deeds (and, thereby, receive recognition). It took me a long time to understand that this is an extension of selfishness under a selfless pretense.


(Watching this video brings tears to my eyes.)


 True selflessness is helping other people just because, not bragging about it, and not expecting anything in return except the opportunity to help another. Living life this way is extremely rewarding. While is true that there are some people who will take advantage of another's generosity, there are also people for whom your generosity might change that person's life for the better. What an incredible opportunity! Something that is small to you might be significant for someone else.

The next time you see someone who needs help, help! Random acts of kindness restore faith in humanity. Start by committing to one random act of kindness per week. When you are ready, build up to at least once per day. I derive more joy from helping others than I get from whatever else I could be doing with that time or money. That might sound crazy to someone who is new to to this concept. This lifestyle is addictive--in a good way! Now get out there and make a difference!

Have the money but no time? Or time but no money? No problem. Here are a few organizations whose overhead is so low that you can be assured your money or donated time goes to help those who need it instead of inflating corporate salaries:

• International Rescue Committee: http://www.rescue.org/how-you-can-help  (not religious)
• Cross International: http://www.crossinternational.org/projects   (Christian-based)
• GLIDE (Spiritual-based, makes a powerful impact in the San Francisco community)

My Poly Past

Most jealousy is a direct result of insecurities from a lack of intimate discussions, honesty, and respect. I am not jealous at all, nor would I date someone who is. When everyone is honest, respectful, and considerate of each other's' feelings, there is no place for jealousy. Re-read that last sentence, those three traits are mandatory.

Few people know that, back in 2004 and 2005, I was actively polyamorous. My Primary and I had been dating since 2001, but our sex life was close to non-existent. We were on the verge of breaking up over this. After much discussion, we mutually decided that--in order to save our relationship--I should take on a second boyfriend.

The man I chose to be my Second was a millionaire I knew from work. He didn't live in the same state, which made it even more perfect because there was no risk of other people knowing and that embarrassing either of them. I didn't date him for financial reasons; I truly liked him...a lot. Both men knew about the other. I was honest at all times.

The Second wanted me to leave my Primary and move in with him. He was one of the DotCom MegaMillionaires, yet I said "No" every time he asked. Friends thought I was nuts! There were three main reasons I didn't:

1. I believe in loyalty, and dumping one man for another is the opposite of loyalty. 
2. While we both enjoyed partying, he self-medicated to a scary extreme.
3. He had a vasectomy and I knew I wanted to be a mother someday.

In October 2005, my Second died. Coincidentally, I had said "I love you" to him for the first time less than 12 hours earlier. He was young, only 47, and such an incredibly good person. He was brilliant, yet still had his childish innocence. The world lost someone very unique and special with his death. I broke up with my Primary a week later.

My entire life I have considered myself poly, although this was the only time I have ever had two serious relationships which included sex. Generally the way my poly surfaces is with one serious monogamous relationship and then several friends whom I love--yet am not physical with--who satisfy emotional needs. Even when sex isn't involved, most people consider emotional attachments to others cheating. Granting and accepting permission to engage in multiple emotionally committed relationships (including love) are poly traits. Swinging is not poly because it is sex-based instead of emotion-based. Cheating is not poly because it lacks full disclosure, respect, and honesty.

Want to learn more about what it means to be poly? This will give you a good introduction: http://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html. If you remain interested, I'd highly suggest reading The Ethical Slut.

Surprised by the obvious?

Here is a song I have been enjoying a lot lately that plays on the radio often. I thought I knew what it was about until I saw the video. Just like with life; sometimes we make assumptions when the truth (in hindsight) was clearly there if we had only paid enough attention and read between the lines...




People may be scared of themselves, what they might lose, their image, or just in denial, but few are actually honest with others about who they are at their core. The example above just happens to be a really big one. The book, The Four Agreements, reminds us that other people do not think like us. This concept is difficult for me to assimilate.  *sigh*   Sure I know people think differently, but I naturally assume that their motives are pure and that they are as honest and forthright as I am. That is silly because in reality I am assuming they are the exception.

Don't be jealous of what somebody's got unless you're willing to do what they did to get it.

Many years ago, I heard Joyce Meyer say "Don't be jealous of what somebody's got unless you're willing to do what they did to get it." Her quote has stuck with me ever since.

This morning I was at the gym. There is one woman who is so inspiring--I'll call her Monica. Everytime I see her, I work out harder. I've never witnessed her lifting weights (always during a cardio class), but her body is clear proof that she does. Morning obligations prevent me from getting to the gym earlier, so I arrive 10 minutes before this high-energy dance class ends. Monica always looks like she's having a great time. Compared to everyone else, she doesn't look tired and her moves look like real dance instead of exercise. She is so light on her feet it is an absolute pleasure to watch.

20 minutes into my weight workout, a spin class was starting. Monica, who just finished an intensive 1 hour dance class, immediately heads to the spin room! I follow and choose the bike behind her and to the left. From my vantage point, I focus on her incredible thighs while not being obvious.

The equipment was old, there were no fans (!!), and the class seemed to last forever. Several times I wanted to stop. Then I looked around. Not only did Monica have great legs (the best body in the gym, IMHO), several of the other women did too. This is what I want. I've never been satisfied with my legs. Everytime I thought about leaving class early, "Don't be jealous of what somebody's got unless you're willing to do what they did to get it" played in my head.

After I completed the class, I was super proud of myself. It took about 40 minutes to consciously think about that, in order to achieve my goal, I will have to do this repeatedly. Ugh. But, I'm willing to do what Monica does to get it.   *smile*

This is what I consider a perfect set of legs:

Picture found at: http://www.dirtyandthirty.com/

Collecting

Do you collect anything? Have you in the past? It could be something of value or to eventually profit off of. It's even possible that you collect as something to do, but it holds little value to you..

Now think about your collections. How would other people view it? Cool? Weird? Nerdy? Everybody judges, even those of us who try not to. Whatever you put your time, attention, and love into is being judged by everyone you know. I welcome questions about that which I collect and try to show interest in others by asking about their collections. When someone doesn't ask, it shows that they don't care.

I have had two main things I have collected: money and condoms. No, not the way you are thinking...and not at the same time. LOL..



As for money, I collected "star bills." These are bills that are printed wrong on the first print and, when they are re-printed, the letter is replaced by a star to symbolize that it is a reprint. They are not worth anything more than the face value on the bill. Most people have never noticed them even though they are in the general circulation.



Star bills always bring me great joy. This is such a thrill for me and I never knew when I might get one: in the club, change at the drive through, from the ATM.. When friends came across them, they set them aside to trade with me for normal bills. I saved my star bills for many years. At one point I had close to $10k worth. Unfortunately, I used them as collateral for a secured loan and the person spent them.   :(




Condoms are my other fun collection! I've always bought way more than could realistically be used. When I've needed to buy a pack, instead of one, I would buy 5 or 6 different types of boxes at the store. I am a shopaholic and so having a variety in the most intimate of purchases just makes sense to me!  :)



After purchasing, I would open the packages, put them in a big pile, mix them up, and then hide condoms all over the house. This way, if I ended up having a sexual experience, there would almost always be a condom within reach where ever we happened to be.. Since the bedroom was the most common place, I filled the nightstand drawer with them also. It was an extra thrill to see which color, style, and theme condom was randomly chosen. Just like with star bills, this collection added an additional oomph to a normal action.

My having such a selection of condoms was judged by the men I was with as me being promiscuous. In hindsight, it makes sense...but that was rarely the case. I've never cheated while in a committed relationship and my sex life usually comprised of either men I was dating or the one fuck buddy I would see whenever I was single. It didn't even occur to me that men would interpret my fun shopping experience that way. They never asked me about it (maybe they were just happy to get sex and didn't want to ruin it?) so I assumed they understood. Years later, I found out that at least one of them assumed I was a hooker. WHOA! Personally, I believe that what someone does with their body is their own business. At the same time, if these men assumed I was hooking while we were dating, it's no wonder they didn't take our time together as seriously as I did...

What am I collecting now? I still collect condoms, although I am currently single and have no sex life. I also collect DVDs. In a world of Amazon Prime, Netflix, and Youtube, they are not necessary...but they do make me happy, and that is all I expect from collecting.   :)

Oh, Lent, how I love you so

I've been dreading this post. Ok, I'll admit it: I stopped thinking about Lent and didn't keep up with the penalties...but I still view Lent as a success. Every year it is my excuse-catalyst for change.

While many people consider vanity a negative trait, I am thankful for it. I love food a lot more than the average person. My vanity prevents me from getting fat. It is such a driving force that I will work out for 3 hours a day if I need to--and I have. I refuse to be fat.

From my difficulties this Lent, I am much more aware of my sugar intake. I successfully quit tres leches for good and enrolled in a clean eating course to get back on track with everyday eating.




Science says that how our bodies looks is 80% diet, 10% exercise, and 10% genetics. My genetics are horrible; fat runs in my family. One binge session and it is visible on my body. On the same token, one good workout and my body shows immediate improvement. Now, imagine if I could just break the sugar addiction! I've done it before and withdrawals from sugar parallel detoxing off drugs (what an idiot I was for letting sugar back into my life). It is my goal--no, wrong word--it is my expectation that I will break my sugar addiction again this year. No penalties, no deadlines, this is the lifestyle I want to live and am headed towards again.

I have free weights at my house and work out using Body Pump videos at home. But, I only average 10 minutes before I stop. Why is this when I am able to do a full hour at the gym? Laziness. Body Pump is intensive and works each muscle to the point of exhaustion. At the gym, I'd be embarrassed to leave early. The combination of out of shape people not quitting and the gorgeous women who have my dream body keep me motivated to stay. At home I don't have such obvious motivators.

My time right now is limited. I study a lot. At the same time, I've known that working out at home hasn't been cutting it. Recently, I joined the closest gym to my house. They have classes, but not Body Pump.  :(  Using weights machines again is working my muscles differently and--combined with my 10 minutes per day of Body Pump at home--and has quickly increased my strength. Now I have a dedicated place where I can't justify anything other than exercise.. Those who know me, know that I am a weight lifting girl...but I expect to coax/trick/bribe myself into going to a few cardio classes in April, too.

Cursing.. Hasn't this been on my Lent list of sacrifices every year? Maybe.. A few years back, the F-word flew out of my mouth far too often. Now, the majority of my cursing occurs as silent/soft murmurs to myself when something isn't proceeding as expected. Rarely do I curse in the course of conversation. Huge improvement!

Ok, this blog post covered food, exercise, and cursing. I thought I had more than that on my Lent list for this year, but I don't remember and am tired of writing. Happy Semana Santa!

Privacy, and how little we actually have

Think George Orwell's book 1984 is impossible? It's already here. Have you read the Terms and Conditions for Smart TVs? The Permissions you grant Google? Facebook?

It is surprising how many people have the "I have nothing to hide" philosophy. Would you tell complete strangers where you live and when you're not home? Do you want your every move recorded by audio and video? Even when you're having sex?

I care about my privacy. Much more so than the average person. I do not use Facebook. For many years, I refused to have a smart phone (and now that I have one, I use a throw away email address). I read Permissions and Terms of Conditions.

Think I'm paranoid? First, read this Wired article by Marc Goodman: http://www.wired.com/2015/03/geeks-guide-marc-goodman/. After you finish, either listen to the much more detailed embedded audio file or download it. Seriously, listen to it. It will scare you, but you need to understand the world we live in so you can make educated choices.

Coffee

Apparently choosing to give up cold surgery coffee while taking more than a full load of classes was not reasonable. The cold sugary coffee drinks give me a great energy boost which lasts the entire day. Black coffee has always put me to sleep. Yes, I know, that is totally weird. To complicate matters further, Mountain Dew wires me (Coca Cola does the opposite) and ice tea makes my heart palpitate. Nobody can explain why my body acts the way it does.

So, while I hate to admit defeat, the cold sugary coffee drinks will have to stay--at least until the end of this school period. Grades trump Lent. I am happy to report that I've been doing good on the rest of my sacrifices and keeping up a steady exercise routine.  :)

Will the stripper date or fuck me?

Men enjoy the fantasy that they can score or date the beautiful woman they are handing money to. Knowing this, strippers usually say or do whatever it takes to get the maximum amount from you. When it comes down to it, do you care if she really likes you? Would you still enjoy yourself if you knew you didn't have a chance? Most men want to be lied to.

The stripper you are interested in falls into one of these categories:

1) Already married or has boyfriend = you have no chance
2) Already married or has boyfriend = may play with hot guys/girls or for money/drugs
3) Single = thinks guys they meet in the club are "losers" and would never date a customer
4) Single = may play with hot guys/girls or for money/drugs
5) Single = actually a normal girl who happens to strip, you may have a chance
6) Lesbian

How to interpret your odds for each stripper category:

#1 / #3 - Just enjoy yourself in the club. It won't go any further.
#2 / #4 - If you are hot enough, have enough money and/or party supplies, this girl is a strong "maybe."
#5 - She may take you seriously if she genuinely likes you. Don't screw it up.
#6 - Are you a woman? If not, treat like categories 1 and 3.

I fit into category #5. How could the observant man tell? In the club, I was never a hit-and-run dancer. Time permitting, it was important to talk and establish chemistry before dancing. This was just as much for the client's benefit as for my own; each of us would enjoy our mini-relationship more (similar to single-serving friends from "Fight Club", except more intimate). The majority of the men I ended up dating I first met this way.

Men asked me out daily; only rarely did I give out my contact info. If I did and then the guy turned around and spent money on other strippers, he blew his chance with me. Only an asshole would do this. It is the same as meeting a girl at a party, flirting to get her number, and once you succeed moving on to her friends. Not cool.

I've never been the type to play "stripper games" or lie to make additional money. At the same time, a man who thought he could spend time with me and eventually date me without dropping a lot of money would never have a chance. The money itself wasn't the reason--respect was. Any man who comes into a woman's workplace, takes up her time, and has her lose money for the privilege doesn't respect her and is not a quality man.

Here's another article: http://www.wikihow.com/Date-a-Stripper. While I don't agree with all of it, it is worth reading.

So, will the stripper you like date or fuck you? I don't know. But you should now be able to tell if you can correctly categorize her from above and have what it takes. Strip clubs are for entertainment--not matchmaking--so if it doesn't lead any further don't feel cheated. It is what it is....

Today is a Lent-free day and tomorrow starts more restrictions

This year, I immediately learned how to cheat the system and bypass the specifics to still get those items which I planned to give up. In fact, because of the alternate choices, my sugar intake has actually INCREASED since Lent has started.  *disappointed*   I've never done this before during Lent and it goes against why I do this.

Day 1: Cursed twice ($2), alarm should not have been on--but it was--and instinctively I pressed snooze ($1).  Total=$3.

Day 2: Was out and about running errands and needed to pee. The only place open was a coffee shop. I walked in, ordered, and while in the bathroom I realized I had just ordered a hot mocha ($10)! I should have known better. However, since I specified "cold sugar coffee drinks" in my Lent post, I will allow this one-time without penalty(-$10). For the net 38 days, Lent includes "sugary coffee drinks." After I realized I had ordered coffee, I cursed ($1). Before the day ended, I cursed two other times also ($2). Total=$3.

Day 3: Had an assortment of dessert items and hot black coffee, but no tres leches. Cursed 3 times ($3). Total=$3.

Day 4: Had hot black coffee, no sugar. Also had a triple chocolate brownie and a few cookies. Cursed once ($1). Total=$1.

To continue on as I have wouldn't be effective. It is clear that I need to revamp the system. Today I am giving myself a "free pass" to have a cold sugary coffee drink without penalty. The remaining 34 days of Lent will be specific and strict.

Black coffee is acceptable. I am not a fan of black coffee, yet giving up sugar and caffeine at the same time appears too stressful. I will not be allowed dessert items--period. Any cakes/cookies/sugar drinks will be a violation and fine-able. I'll need to get my sweet tooth satisfied with sweet potatoes, squash, dates, or fruit.

* It may be best to avoid me for the next week as I go through sugar withdrawals. *

No Valentine?

I just received an email reminding me that today is Valentine's Day.

If you don't have someone to share it with, it should be just like every other day. But--thanks to Hallmark--it isn't.

Valentine's Day is a day which everyone knows is set aside to celebrate romance and to renew your commitment. Since relationships vary in their level of romance, knowing that you can look forward to February 14 for even more is important. Many men underestimate how much women judge their actions on this day.

 Now, I'll put this day back in perspective.... If you are single, don't take Valentine's Day as a day to wallow in your own self-pity. You don't need a partner to complete you. You must already be complete before you will attract the right partner. Of course, you could just find someone...but anyone who wants to be with you while you are "wounded" is not someone you should want to be with.

If this day is painful because it reminds you of a failed relationship, then that pain is a helpful sign that you are not ready to date yet. Instead of crying over your loss, use that energy to do something positive. Learn a new skill, spoil yourself with a gym membership/personal trainer, or contribute toward making another person's day better. Same with any other holidays which no longer apply to you. Take any negative single energy and create loving happiness for yourself and others with no-relationship required! .

This Year's Lent Sacrifices

After much consideration, I will be giving up: cursing, hitting the snooze button, cold sugary coffee drinks, and tres leches. Here's why:

• I don't curse much, but any cursing is more than I want. 
• The snooze button is important. My life doesn't have many hard deadlines; at the same time, I am most productive in the mornings and hitting snooze is counterproductive. 
• The sugary coffee drinks are a new part of my routine. This a very bad habit for calories and sugar intake--so I need to put an end to them.
• Tres leches is another indulgence which I must give up in order to break my sugar addiction by the end of Lent.

Masturbation was suggested for me this year, too. In past years, I have included it.
However, since I rarely masturbate these days, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice now.
For my goals, Lent sacrifices need to be challenging and provide a long-term benefit.

In addition to sacrifices, I pledge to exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes each and every day. This is more than I currently do on the average day. While I wish I could commit to more, it's not worth taking time away from school. I'm not fat so good grades trump my exercise time budget.  ;)

I will also have penalties for non-compliance. $1 per curse word, $1 per each time I hit snooze, $10 per sugary coffee, $20 for tres leches, and $5 for missing an exercise day.

Lent is technically 46 days with 6 cheat days. I do a straight 40 days because I want the long-term benefit. This year it'll be Feb 18 to April 2. For me, Lent is about change and self-improvement.

Get up Outta The Dirt

Four months ago, I said I was going to re-adopt Shine by Henry Rollins as my Theme Song. While I love this song and I feel it is very inspirational, I haven't been listening to it as I should. Therefore, it is time for a new Theme Song.

Butterfingers is not well known in the US, but they have been one of my favorite bands for many years. This song, Get up Outta The Dirt, is my new theme song. It's perfect for keeping a positive perspective and working towards goals.



There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Out the dirt
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Out the dirt

If you sniffle ‘cause your life is difficult, that’s typical
But you get what you give
Karma is reciprocal

And I’m critical of people on my nuts
Can’t see why I’m crippled but they’re stuck up in their ruts
Quick to make a fuss and to bust up the bubble
So this is my rebuttal to "We Like ‘Em When They’re Trouble"
I got a couple of bones to pick
It’s your life, don’t whine, take ownership

Get up, stand up, throw your hands up
While high, jerk your mind back from propaganda
With anti-slander, truth too candor
And it’s good for the goose as it is for the gander

Every gamut of the planet reaps what it sows
So forget about your hair and forget about your clothes
Same goes for your woes, for the moment is priceless
Puberty blues becomes mid-life crisis
SURPRISE!

You get wiser, older, fatter
Lose your mind and control of your bladder
Mad as a hatter, pissin’ in your pants
But everybody’s ugly if you give them a chance

There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt

This isn’t an attack or a lack of compassion
But you gotta get yourself back into action
Tap into your passion and follow it up
Either that, or let the madness swallow you up

How full is your cup, half-full or half empty?
You’re the envy of plenty, tread gently
Apathy is deadly and if you got seeds of doubt
With means to sprout, you need to weed them out

Or read about people with real cares
I feel for the hunger-stricken killed in Zaire
Children die there from extreme poverty
In perspective, my problems don’t bother me

Think positive, forget about the negative
There’s never been a better time to get your shit together
It's bad etiquette to bitch and moan
With your nice clean clothes and your mobile phone

If you can’t see your feet ‘cause you over-eat
And that’s your biggest problem, then your life is sweet
Not sleepin’ on the street, then you probably got it good
Get up, put your head up, if you can then you should

There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt

Stand up straight, stand up straight!
Don't take no shit, don’t take no shit!
Hands on your shoulders, shoulders over hips

It's time for a change, time for a change!
So make it swift, make it swift!
You're only getting older with the lifeline that you live

There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
Get up stand up, throw your hands up
While high, jerk your mind back from propaganda

There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
This isn't an attack or a lack of compassion
Outta the dirt
But you gotta get yourself back in the action

There's never been a better time than right now
Right now!
To get up outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt! Outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt!

There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt! Outta the dirt
Get up outta the, get up outta the dirt!

My Ideal Partner 2015

As part of re-entering the dating world, I've revised my lists.

 
Who I am: Honest, intelligent, loyal, likes to help people, encourages passions, lifetime student, good in bed, outside-the-box, great mom skills, anti-GMO, high sex drive, vain, reliable, generous, loves traveling, believes everything happens for a reason, ex-pat mentality, spiritual, values privacy, smiles and laughs easily, open-minded, many old-fashioned values, enjoys being fit, non-smoker, sober, comfortable talking about anything, shares, romantic, pro-gun, conspiracy theorist, happy, tenacious, accepts people for who they are, turns dreams into reality, not afraid to say “no”, follows my heart.

Caution: Requires complete honesty, easily falls off diet, loses things, mildly bipolar (normal/manic, no depression).

My ideal man will love himself, love me, and any children we bring into our relationship. He eats the same (or will learn how), communicates his needs/happiness, and explains any dissatisfaction so we are on the same page and can make adjustments as needed. Healthy marriages have a passionate sex life; this is important to me, too. I want my life partner, loving husband, and co-parent.

He needs to understand that the spark eventually fades--yet, with that knowledge, will commit to a lifetime of loving each other. Love is a verb. When it's a verb, you don't "fall out of love." If you don't love anymore, it’s because you chose to break your promise and stop loving.

Since I believe we can manifest what we want in life, this describes him:

NON-NEGOTIABLE MUSTS: Honest, genius intelligence, respects me, trustworthy, ambitious, generous, ethical, makes eating organic/non-GMO a priority, good in bed, prepared to commit, kind, healthy, father figure, patience, emotional/physical/financial support, likes to travel, apologizes, compassionate, acts like a man and treats me as a lady, loyal, helps me succeed, funds vanity maintenance, shows that he values our time together, teaches me, gentleman, wants an immediate family, compatible parenting views (actively parent according to the Positive Discipline model while remaining mindful that all of our actions teach a growing child how to behave).

WOULD BE NICE--but not required: Athletic, speaks more than one language, high sex drive, spiritual, wealthy (well, this would be nice, lol), similar political beliefs, worldly, ex-pat mentality, computer geek, at least 10 years older than me, romantic, can build and repair things.

ABSOLUTE DEALBREAKERS: Lies, abusive, passive-aggressive, undependable, refuses to admit when he's wrong or when he doesn't know something, doesn't take responsibility, antagonistic teaser, alcoholic or drug addict, cheap, uses denial-of-relationship-sex as a weapon, television junkie, smokes cigarettes, thrives with drama.

Thankful

I've lived several lives, very different lifestyles. My life has been complete. Everything I've ever wanted to do or experience, I have. I'm lucky and proactive at the same time.

I am thankful for all the wonderful opportunities in my life. Not to say I haven't had my share of dark times; I've probably had more.

Bad experiences built character. Some were caused by others, some completely within myself. For example, being stalked taught me to live my life as if someone was always watching. When you live your life this way, you are a better person. Not to say stalking has any positive qualities; however, in reaction to it I learned to live as if I were Jim Carey in the Truman Show. Another example was when I used self-medicating and destructive coping techniques to deal with my life after my sister died. The drug, alcohol, and sexual experiences I had taught me that I wasn't as strong as I had thought and not to judge other people for their coping techniques. Discovering my susceptibility knocked me off my Princess Pedestal and increased my empathy for others.

I regret none of the choices I've made in life and am thankful for them. While difficult, an important step for me was ending friendships with people who remained stuck in their own dysfunctions. This isn't a rejection of them or a belief that I am superior--it is self-protection. My experiences with dysfunction has helped me easily recognize it and I don't want those people being part of my influential circle. Without judging them for their personal choices, I selectively choose my friends now based upon compatible values.

I hope everyone who reads this blog, also clicks and reads this other link: http://www.howtolive.com/fill-your-life-with-amazing-people/. Knowing this might just change your life.  :)    Be thankful for what you have experienced so far and live your life surrounded by friends who support the life you want going forward.