I saw the above image elsewhere on the internet,. It was surprising to me how most women chose (including saying it would take $15 to make their man). My priorities are different. If limited to $5 to choose, I would pick smart ($1), great in bed ($2), and honest ($2). Yes honesty is not listed but it is essential so I allocated funds.
A recent experience renewed my interest in dating. So, I tweaked my lists using the Musts, Would-Be-Nices, and Dealbreakers format. I like organizing it this way because it makes it easy to evaluate someone new and see where that person fits.
NON-NEGOTIABLE MUSTS: Completely honest with me, genius intelligence, respects me, trustworthy, ambitious, generous, ethical, makes eating organic/non-GMO a priority, good in bed, prepared to commit, communicates, kind, healthy, father figure, patience, authentic, emotional/physical/financial support, likes to travel, apologizes, emotionally healthy, compassionate, acts like a man and treats me as a lady, loyal, helps me succeed, funds my beauty maintenance, shows that he values our time together, teaches me, gentleman, wants an immediate family, understands that love is a verb and not give up after the spark fades, compatible parenting views (mindfully parent according to the Positive Discipline model).
WOULD BE NICE--but not required: Athletic, speaks more than one language, high sex drive, spiritual, wealthy (well, this
would be
nice, lol), similar political beliefs, worldly, ex-pat mentality, computer geek, at least 10 years older than me, romantic, monogamous, can build and repair things.
ABSOLUTE DEALBREAKERS: Lies, abusive, passive-aggressive, undependable, refuses to admit when he's wrong or when he doesn't know something, doesn't take responsibility, antagonistic teaser, alcoholic or drug addict, scares me, invades my privacy, cheap, uses denial-of-relationship-sex as a weapon, vindictive, television junkie, smokes cigarettes, thrives with drama, stalkerish.
It seems that many people misinterpret my lists. The Would-Be-Nice group includes enhancements I would enjoy, yet are not necessary to be my match. However, if a single item from the Non-negotiable Musts is missing, the man is not for me. And, if
any of the Dealbreakers are present, the man is not for me. The MUSTS and DEALBREAKERS categories define concrete boundaries. I want my life partner, loving husband, and co-parent. If my pickiness cause me to stay single forever, I would rather that then ending up with the wrong man.
And this is who I am: Honest, intelligent, loyal, likes to help people, encourages passions, lifetime student, good in bed, outside-the-box, great mom skills, anti-GMO, high sex drive, vain, reliable, generous, loves traveling, believes everything happens for a reason, ex-pat mentality, spiritual, values privacy, smiles and laughs easily, open-minded, many old-fashioned values, enjoys being fit, grateful, non-smoker, sober, comfortable talking about anything, shares, likes books, romantic, pro-gun, conspiracy theorist, happy, tenacious, accepts people for who they are, turns dreams into reality, not afraid to say “no”, follows my heart, lacks tolerance for dishonesty, loses things, mildly bipolar (normal/manic, no depression).
For those wanting to see how I (and my desires) have morphed through the years, click the
My ideal partner link here or immediately under this post.
Oh, and before I forget --
Happy Valentine's Day!
