Lent 2016

Lent officially started yesterday and ends on March 24. Every year with Lent I make positive changes in my life. These temporary changes are designed to be a springboard to help me long-term. While I do not expect that my my negative traits will be permanently banished, I do hope that each year will result in a cumulative improvement. 

 

This year I will stop:

1. Cursing. This has been on my list every year for many years. I used to be someone who cursed a lot. Such words rarely come out of my mouth anymore. Now I want to stop all the mental cursing and silent whispers.
2. Eating rice. Rice is the only item left preventing me from being Paleo. It is a staple food where I live, although I usually only eat it once per week. That now stops.
3. Negative thinking. Whenever I catch myself thinking something negative, I will immediately do 30 seconds of exercise. This could be embarrassing if I am out, yet it is is the best way to stop this bad habit.

These positive additions are intended to become a permanent part of my daily routine with Lent creating the foundation:

1. Non-internet reading for at least 30 minutes per day. Yes, this is books. While I read at a snail pace, I love reading. I own a massive library and have many books that I have not had time to read previously.
2. Self-improvement study for at least 60 minutes per day. This is separate from reading books. I have many workbooks and online courses available.
3. Recite my mantra. My mantra is supposed to be recited 108 times in a row. This is an excellent meditation practice that I have fallen out of and will now get back into.

Oh, Lent, how I love you so

I've been dreading this post. Ok, I'll admit it: I stopped thinking about Lent and didn't keep up with the penalties...but I still view Lent as a success. Every year it is my excuse-catalyst for change.

While many people consider vanity a negative trait, I am thankful for it. I love food a lot more than the average person. My vanity prevents me from getting fat. It is such a driving force that I will work out for 3 hours a day if I need to--and I have. I refuse to be fat.

From my difficulties this Lent, I am much more aware of my sugar intake. I successfully quit tres leches for good and enrolled in a clean eating course to get back on track with everyday eating.




Science says that how our bodies looks is 80% diet, 10% exercise, and 10% genetics. My genetics are horrible; fat runs in my family. One binge session and it is visible on my body. On the same token, one good workout and my body shows immediate improvement. Now, imagine if I could just break the sugar addiction! I've done it before and withdrawals from sugar parallel detoxing off drugs (what an idiot I was for letting sugar back into my life). It is my goal--no, wrong word--it is my expectation that I will break my sugar addiction again this year. No penalties, no deadlines, this is the lifestyle I want to live and am headed towards again.

I have free weights at my house and work out using Body Pump videos at home. But, I only average 10 minutes before I stop. Why is this when I am able to do a full hour at the gym? Laziness. Body Pump is intensive and works each muscle to the point of exhaustion. At the gym, I'd be embarrassed to leave early. The combination of out of shape people not quitting and the gorgeous women who have my dream body keep me motivated to stay. At home I don't have such obvious motivators.

My time right now is limited. I study a lot. At the same time, I've known that working out at home hasn't been cutting it. Recently, I joined the closest gym to my house. They have classes, but not Body Pump.  :(  Using weights machines again is working my muscles differently and--combined with my 10 minutes per day of Body Pump at home--and has quickly increased my strength. Now I have a dedicated place where I can't justify anything other than exercise.. Those who know me, know that I am a weight lifting girl...but I expect to coax/trick/bribe myself into going to a few cardio classes in April, too.

Cursing.. Hasn't this been on my Lent list of sacrifices every year? Maybe.. A few years back, the F-word flew out of my mouth far too often. Now, the majority of my cursing occurs as silent/soft murmurs to myself when something isn't proceeding as expected. Rarely do I curse in the course of conversation. Huge improvement!

Ok, this blog post covered food, exercise, and cursing. I thought I had more than that on my Lent list for this year, but I don't remember and am tired of writing. Happy Semana Santa!

Coffee

Apparently choosing to give up cold surgery coffee while taking more than a full load of classes was not reasonable. The cold sugary coffee drinks give me a great energy boost which lasts the entire day. Black coffee has always put me to sleep. Yes, I know, that is totally weird. To complicate matters further, Mountain Dew wires me (Coca Cola does the opposite) and ice tea makes my heart palpitate. Nobody can explain why my body acts the way it does.

So, while I hate to admit defeat, the cold sugary coffee drinks will have to stay--at least until the end of this school period. Grades trump Lent. I am happy to report that I've been doing good on the rest of my sacrifices and keeping up a steady exercise routine.  :)

Today is a Lent-free day and tomorrow starts more restrictions

This year, I immediately learned how to cheat the system and bypass the specifics to still get those items which I planned to give up. In fact, because of the alternate choices, my sugar intake has actually INCREASED since Lent has started.  *disappointed*   I've never done this before during Lent and it goes against why I do this.

Day 1: Cursed twice ($2), alarm should not have been on--but it was--and instinctively I pressed snooze ($1).  Total=$3.

Day 2: Was out and about running errands and needed to pee. The only place open was a coffee shop. I walked in, ordered, and while in the bathroom I realized I had just ordered a hot mocha ($10)! I should have known better. However, since I specified "cold sugar coffee drinks" in my Lent post, I will allow this one-time without penalty(-$10). For the net 38 days, Lent includes "sugary coffee drinks." After I realized I had ordered coffee, I cursed ($1). Before the day ended, I cursed two other times also ($2). Total=$3.

Day 3: Had an assortment of dessert items and hot black coffee, but no tres leches. Cursed 3 times ($3). Total=$3.

Day 4: Had hot black coffee, no sugar. Also had a triple chocolate brownie and a few cookies. Cursed once ($1). Total=$1.

To continue on as I have wouldn't be effective. It is clear that I need to revamp the system. Today I am giving myself a "free pass" to have a cold sugary coffee drink without penalty. The remaining 34 days of Lent will be specific and strict.

Black coffee is acceptable. I am not a fan of black coffee, yet giving up sugar and caffeine at the same time appears too stressful. I will not be allowed dessert items--period. Any cakes/cookies/sugar drinks will be a violation and fine-able. I'll need to get my sweet tooth satisfied with sweet potatoes, squash, dates, or fruit.

* It may be best to avoid me for the next week as I go through sugar withdrawals. *

This Year's Lent Sacrifices

After much consideration, I will be giving up: cursing, hitting the snooze button, cold sugary coffee drinks, and tres leches. Here's why:

• I don't curse much, but any cursing is more than I want. 
• The snooze button is important. My life doesn't have many hard deadlines; at the same time, I am most productive in the mornings and hitting snooze is counterproductive. 
• The sugary coffee drinks are a new part of my routine. This a very bad habit for calories and sugar intake--so I need to put an end to them.
• Tres leches is another indulgence which I must give up in order to break my sugar addiction by the end of Lent.

Masturbation was suggested for me this year, too. In past years, I have included it.
However, since I rarely masturbate these days, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice now.
For my goals, Lent sacrifices need to be challenging and provide a long-term benefit.

In addition to sacrifices, I pledge to exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes each and every day. This is more than I currently do on the average day. While I wish I could commit to more, it's not worth taking time away from school. I'm not fat so good grades trump my exercise time budget.  ;)

I will also have penalties for non-compliance. $1 per curse word, $1 per each time I hit snooze, $10 per sugary coffee, $20 for tres leches, and $5 for missing an exercise day.

Lent is technically 46 days with 6 cheat days. I do a straight 40 days because I want the long-term benefit. This year it'll be Feb 18 to April 2. For me, Lent is about change and self-improvement.

Lent suggestions?

Because I believe that the yearly "40-days-without" Lent tradition is good for me, this year I Googled* the dates in advance so I'll be prepared: February 18-April 2. I'm meant to to do this! Feel free to make suggestions for what you think I should change during this time. Obviously, the final decision is up to me...but I will seriously consider any suggestions. :)


* Google lists a straight 40 days. This is probably better for me than 46 days with a few cheat days thrown in.   (For an explanation why Lent begins 46 days before Easter but is only 40 days long, see How Are the 40 Days of Lent Calculated?) 

Lent 2014

It happened again. Since I'm not religious in a traditional sense, I forgot about Lent (it ends in 9 days). Coincidently, it was around the beginning of Lent that I decided to quit cake again--this time using the method which works for me.

Food has always been the only vice that I've had difficulty controlling throughout my life. With everything else, I successfully quit by keeping temptation around to remind me that I didn't run out; I chose to quit. After telling a friend about this, it occurred to me that I had never tried this with food. So, I took the last remaining slice of a delicious Strawberry Lemon Coconut cake and put it in the freezer. I am pleased to report that after a month, it is still there! Since I know I can have my favorite cake whenever I want, I don't have a desperate need or withdrawal urges.  :)

2013 = Lent Fail

While nobody would ever know if I didn't out myself, I feel obligated to report what happened with Lent this year. My sickness lasted a few weeks and, during that time, I didn't exercise. Because of this, I halted ALL fines. Even though I didn't last 40 days, my Lent 2013 experience wasn't a waste. I made some changes I am pleased with:

• my cursing has reduced dramatically
• I eat sweet potatoes often as an alternative to sugar-sweets
• my exercise routine has intensified

Lent 2013 - First 10 days

25% of the way through and so far my "Lent Jar" contains $24. Here is a summary of my first 10 days of Lent:

February 14 - Cursed 4 times = $8. Had dream I ate sweets but, since it was only a dream there is no penalty.
February 15 - Cursed 1 time = $2.
February 16 - Cursed 3 times = $6.
February 17-19 - No fines!
February 20 - Cursed 2 times = $4.
February 21 - No fines!
February 22 - Cursed 2 times = $4. Also had dream I cursed 3 more times...but again, since it was only a dream there is no penalty.
February 23 - No fines!

Sugar has been easier than I expected. My diet is pretty healthy, so this extra step just eliminates items I shouldn't be eating.

Cheese has been tougher than expected--especially while eating out! Cheese is in many of the foods I love.

Of course I have cursed, but it's going better than anticipated. This is a nasty tough habit to break.

I've always been a weight lift girl, so daily cardio is new for me. I am happy to say that, since the treadmill and I have become friends, my body is showing results.  :)

Today I am sick (flu?). I would have forced myself to go to the gym anyway, but someone reminded me Sundays are taken off during Lent. Yes! Just to be clear: I'm not doing this for any of my sacrifices. I'll accept this cardio holiday because it is best to heal before taxing my body further.

Ash Wednesday

Not being religious, I am lucky that I found out Lent started today.

The way the brain works, if you can do something for 21 days you can make a permanent change. Lent is 40 days.

This year for Lent I am consciously giving up (1) sugar, (2) cheese, and (3) cursing. In addition to these sacrifices, I will do a minimum of 30 minutes cardio every single day for these next 40 days.

New for this year, I am also going to add financial consequences for slip-ups.

Eating sugar - $10 
Eating cheese - $10
Cursing - $2  (I'm scared this one may add up quickly)
Missing cardio day - $20

These fines are designed to get me back on proper course --not a "cheat pass" opportunity . Because my full intention is to succeed, I am not even thinking up what to do with any money that ends up in the Lent fund (hopefully there will be none).  I officially start tomorrow.   :)

Happy Easter/Celebrity Zombie Day

---

Lent's over, how did I do?
Cursing: While I wasn't able to quit, I made a dramatic reduction. Honestly, I had no idea my mouth was so foul. *sigh* Quitting cold turkey is asking too much. This was still a good exercise, though, and I am going to continue monitoring my cursing so hopefully by next year bad words won't just "slip out" unintended.

Masturbation: It was tough at first, especially since I was reading erotica and participating in adult chats. When I quit doing those things, it became much easier. I will admit to having a similar lapse in judgement a few more times; however, I successfully made it through by choosing not to masturbate.

Now excuse me while I play catch up... ;)

Masturbating Lent

My masturbation has spiraled out of control again. While I haven't been having unhealthy sex (over two years SA clean), this is such a slippery slope it must be addressed.
Some days I masturbate all day long, with naps mixed in. On "slow" days when I forgo during the day, I am unable to sleep at night until I get up, search the internet, and then take care of myself with a toy.

Luckily, I have an external excuse which can help me.
It is that time of the year again: Lent!

Start of Lent 2012 (Ash Wednesday) - Wednesday 22 February 2012.
End of Lent 2012 (Holy Saturday) - Saturday 7 April 2012

Last year was the first time I've ever given something up for Lent--and I made it 39 days without masturbating!   :)

I really love kittens, so this year I expect to make it all 40 days. I'm also going to try to quit cursing. Wish me luck!!

Karebears

April 20th is a day that stoners across the world celebrate because 420 is the "code word" for smoking marijuana. Even when I still smoked weed, 4/20 was a day that I took off from smoking. For me, it doesn't symbolize pot--today is the anniversary of when my little sister died.

While I have always been bright, she was much smarter than me. A true genius and very charismatic. When she was sixteen years old, she was the top telemarketer for a major company and earned $40,000/year working part-time. She started the GLBT student union at her high school. She went to the national finals for her school's mock attorney debate team. She had a 4.0. She was a stock broker at 21. Her accomplishments are too numerous for me to list.

We were rivals from birth. As we grew up, I playfully referred to her as "the bad sister" and she called me "mweanie" in return. I loved her dearly but, due to the competitive nature of our relationship, I could never express it. That is one of the few regrets in my life.



I knew when my 40 days of Lent started that today would be the big challenge. *sigh* Tomorrow would've been the last day, and today I masturbated twice. Doh! Was it because I am stressed with grief? Or because I went on a date yesterday and didn't even get a kiss? 39 days is still damn good, though, so I'm not too disappointed with myself. Next year I will do this again. :)

Selfless Act for Lent

I was thinking "I can't afford to donate, I'm barely making it right now." Then I looked down at my KFC tray and realized I'm just fooling myself. Even if it's just a small donation (like that of a single fast food meal), it all adds up. If you're reading this, even if it's just a dollar, HELP THEM OUT! They are good people with a quality message. :)

Happy Persian New Year!

This past weekend was awesome! I spent it in Panama with someone very special to me. Excellent trip, great food, nice weather. Somehow in 3 days we never found time for any tours. This was one of those weekends where everything was fun but little can be said. ;)

While gone, I received an email informing me that I was not selected for Round 3 of the Charlie Sheen's TigerBloodIntern--yes, I was one of the 74,000 people who applied. LOL.. However, I figured at some point they would check my blog and disqualify me. No big shock.


March 20th was Persian New Year. They celebrate for 13 days.

Some Nowruz celebrants believe that whatever a person does on Nowruz will affect the rest of the year. So, if a person is warm and kind to their relatives, friends and neighbors on Nowruz, then the new year will be a good one. On the other hand, if there are fights and disagreements, the year will be a bad one.As a extended tradition to the holiday, men may or may not choose to shave their faces until the night of the "New Day" as a sign of removal of old habits and tendencies and the rebirth of their faith and being.

The other ancient symbolic representation of NoRuz is based around the idea of the triumph of good over evil. According to the Shah-nameh (The Book of Kings), the national Iranian epic by Ferdowsi, NoRuz came into being during the reign of the mythical King Jamshid; when he defeated the evil demons (divs) seizing their treasures, becoming master of everything but the heavens and bringing prosperity to his people. To reach the heavens, Jamshid ordered a throne to be built with the jewels he had captured. He then sat on the throne and commanded the demons to lift him up into the sky. When the sun's rays hit the throne, the sky was illuminated with a multitude of colours. The people were amazed at the King's power and they showered him with even more jewels and treasures. This day of great celebration was named NoRuz, and was recognised as the first day of the year.

I am still trying to stick by my Lent rules. While I did have 2 Ginger Ales to calm my motion sickness from the tiny plane, I consider that more medicine than soda. Also, yesterday I had a brownie which was almost cake-consistency. I didn't know it would be that way before ordering and I did eat it. Other than these two circumstances, I have stuck by my Lent sacrifices: no masturbation, no soda, no cake. :)

Lent cleansing

Not only am I not a Christian, I don't believe that Jesus Christ ever existed. So why am I posting about Lent? Lent is a time for spiritual cleansing--which is beneficial no matter what your faith (or lack of).

From Wikipedia: There are traditionally forty days in Lent which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities, and by other acts of penance. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour). Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations.

What will I do different during Lent?
Lent started this year on March 9; I just heard about it so I am starting today. Daily chanting of my mantra and meditation will be a priority. For the fasting aspect, I am giving up masturbation, soda, and cake. In addition, each day I will do at least one activity to selflessly help others.

As I follow this rule I find that I am letting go of old mortal beliefs and the Divine within is flaming higher and higher. Its pure white light is infusing all my surroundings with a delightful spirit of wisdom, dignity, and peace. I realize more and more the law or righteous thinking that is bringing me into a consciousness of my perfect dominion.

My 40th day will be April 21st.