Monica

Remember "Monica" from my gym? She became a major motivator for me with just her presence taking my workouts up a notch. And her body has continued to improve. Wow, she could easily compete. However, now that I know the reason why, I must revise my April statement. I will NOT be doing what Monica does to get what she has.

Apparently, Monica, and a few other women at my gym, take steroids. I found out because they were recently offered to me, as well. I had a long discussion with a bodybuilder I trust. He said normally he is pro-hormones, but never for women because steroids are not women hormones. After he told me that, I started to pay attention and noticed that many of them do have a slight masculine facial appearance. While they have amazingly gorgeous bodies, I am not willing to masculinize my look at all. The first time I was exposed to hearing about women taking steroids was from a stripper I knew a decade ago. She didn't look masculine, but maybe she took very little or was new to them. I don't know. I just know that I am not willing to take this risk. Even for a perfect body.

What I do miss is the ECA stacks. Aspirin and alcohol (separately, not together) are both much more dangerous than ephedrine. The argument that ephedrine is used to make meth so it needs to be made illegal is just ridiculous. Baking soda is an essential ingredient to make crack, but you can still buy it everywhere. Ephedrine got a bad rap.


How disappointing ECA is gone! Equally disappointing is that those women got their results through steroids since I am not willing to go that route. I still go to the gym. I still stare at their bodies. But I no longer believe I will accomplish the same results.  :(

Changing

It's been a long few years with a couple close deaths.. I won't "get over" these losses but I am finally in recovery.

My physical health is improving. Several months ago I realized I had a problem with ephedrine. (This is not an anti-ephedrine post.) Ephedrine is a great drug. Unfortunately it got to the point where I was taking far too much and needed it to get by. At the time I thought it was helping me. Now I see I had become addicted and it was tearing me apart. When Nevada made ephedrine illegal in June, I quit cold turkey. Personally I feel it should be legal. However, I would probably still be taking it...

At the beginning of August I ran out of anxiety medication. I've been off since. Taking responsibility for my own emotions now.. Learning stress management. These past few months have been trying: I got robbed and foreclosed on a house. Luckily, I've learned good coping techniques. :-)

My body is tired of yo-yoing. Instead of living within a 20 pound range, I have adapted a new lifestyle. No more junk food. This has been the most amazing step. By eating properly my mind is clear and my body is in it's best shape ever!

Enthusiasm is creeping back onto my face.. I see opportunity in every new day, in every lesson life presents.. My youth is returning.

Watch out, world, Trixie is here to stay!