A woman's body image and how easy it is to ruin

Las Vegas is a world famous adult playground. Working there can bring in big money, but it comes at a price. Vegas is all image and people pride themselves on being hustlers. Being fake is the norm. Everyone is judged--on looks, body, age, money, car, who you're sleeping with--not only did I hate living there, it ruined my normal healthy body image.

From stripping at the top Las Vegas gentlemen's clubs, I saw it all. I worked at Crazy Horse Too, Olympic Garden, Sapphire, and Spearmint Rhino. I was at the top clubs at the right times. Crazy Horse Too is the best club I have ever worked at. They treated their ladies with more respect than is experienced in this industry; it was excellent for my mental health and self-esteem. I worked there up until the day they closed.

On the polar opposite end of the spectrum was Spearmint Rhino. It was a toxic environment. There were actually a few occasions when the morning manager at Spearmint Rhino came up to me while I was on stage (!!) and told me I needed to lose weight before my next shift. Are you kidding me?!? I have curves, not rolls.

This is what I looked like at that time:

Instead of being brushing it off as an asshole Spearmint Rhino manager being a jerk when he was lucky enough to get hired at a top US strip club, it scarred me for life. Here are a few more pictures from the past: 

Because of these negative experiences, now I can't stop critiquing myself; it is ingrained and automatic. I am writing this as a real woman. A real woman who, with a pin-up body, was given a body image complex. Back then I was in the gym a few hours every day. Currently, all I have time for is an hour a day. Knowing that I don't look my personal best messes with me a lot. I'm in pretty good shape and not fat, but again...if my body wasn't good enough when it looked like that, how can I ever be satisfied?

By the way, the image below is what I was expected to look like (obviously less "fat" than above). I haven't looked like that since I quit smoking weed. 

(Quitting pot immediately made me gain 10 pounds that hasn't left me since. *sigh*)

Few women share their insecurities. I wrote this to bring awareness to the damage that can be done to the feminine ego. A joke to a man can seriously hurt a woman. She may not tell you, yet your words may still ring in her head decades later. Hundreds of compliments can't undue the damage of one well-placed insult.

Will the stripper date or fuck me?

Men enjoy the fantasy that they can score or date the beautiful woman they are handing money to. Knowing this, strippers usually say or do whatever it takes to get the maximum amount from you. When it comes down to it, do you care if she really likes you? Would you still enjoy yourself if you knew you didn't have a chance? Most men want to be lied to.

The stripper you are interested in falls into one of these categories:

1) Already married or has boyfriend = you have no chance
2) Already married or has boyfriend = may play with hot guys/girls or for money/drugs
3) Single = thinks guys they meet in the club are "losers" and would never date a customer
4) Single = may play with hot guys/girls or for money/drugs
5) Single = actually a normal girl who happens to strip, you may have a chance
6) Lesbian

How to interpret your odds for each stripper category:

#1 / #3 - Just enjoy yourself in the club. It won't go any further.
#2 / #4 - If you are hot enough, have enough money and/or party supplies, this girl is a strong "maybe."
#5 - She may take you seriously if she genuinely likes you. Don't screw it up.
#6 - Are you a woman? If not, treat like categories 1 and 3.

I fit into category #5. How could the observant man tell? In the club, I was never a hit-and-run dancer. Time permitting, it was important to talk and establish chemistry before dancing. This was just as much for the client's benefit as for my own; each of us would enjoy our mini-relationship more (similar to single-serving friends from "Fight Club", except more intimate). The majority of the men I ended up dating I first met this way.

Men asked me out daily; only rarely did I give out my contact info. If I did and then the guy turned around and spent money on other strippers, he blew his chance with me. Only an asshole would do this. It is the same as meeting a girl at a party, flirting to get her number, and once you succeed moving on to her friends. Not cool.

I've never been the type to play "stripper games" or lie to make additional money. At the same time, a man who thought he could spend time with me and eventually date me without dropping a lot of money would never have a chance. The money itself wasn't the reason--respect was. Any man who comes into a woman's workplace, takes up her time, and has her lose money for the privilege doesn't respect her and is not a quality man.

Here's another article: http://www.wikihow.com/Date-a-Stripper. While I don't agree with all of it, it is worth reading.

So, will the stripper you like date or fuck you? I don't know. But you should now be able to tell if you can correctly categorize her from above and have what it takes. Strip clubs are for entertainment--not matchmaking--so if it doesn't lead any further don't feel cheated. It is what it is....

Selling ES300 Lexus LOADED with Adult items

I am selling my 2001 Lexus ES300 fully loaded with HUGE lot of new unopened adults novelties, new unworn stripper outfits (with tags still attached), wigs, stripper shoes, and a metallic purple static/rotating stripper pole. I am not interested in parting this out, it all goes at once. $8000 with local pickup in Atlanta includes the car and everything inside. I'll even throw in my used stripper items, if you want them.

Whether you are good with eBay or have a retail/online store, work in porn production, are a stripper (or are in love with a stripper), buying this lot is almost like getting a free Lexus because the adult items alone are worth what I'm asking.  

Southwest now flies to Atlanta so, no matter where you live, you can get here one-way for less than $200. I recommend flying in because there is too much stuff to take without a full car; the Lexus will be completely filled.

Yes, this is an unusual bundle--but perfect for the one who is interested! 

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

After much reflection, I understand the common theme behind why my relationships haven't succeeded. Despite having worked as a stripper, I'm primarily a Good Girl. This is a significant contradiction which most people cannot fathom.

Years ago I seriously dated a man who said he couldn't figure out if I was a Good Girl or a Bad Girl. That's because I am both. I do have a bad girl side which I am completely honest about, but it's minor and only a fraction of who I am. It seems that most men do not believe these can co-exist and want to put you in one category or the other.

The majority of the men I've dated I met through work. These men liked the excitement of dating a Vegas stripper and wanted to harness a Bad Girl, never viewing me as the Good Girl I actually am. They wanted to party; I wanted to settle down.

How to explain to someone who likes viewing me as a Bad Girl that I am 90% Good Girl? What I say or do doesn't seem to influence who they believe I am. Even though I tell my partner all about me, they listen to what they want to hear, make the judgements they want to make, and form the opinion they want to have. This would cause me to "act out" and be bad--but not in the way they had hoped.

My longest relationship had the opposite problem. He knew that I was mostly Good Girl and was attracted to me because of that. At the same time, he enjoyed that I had a Bad Girl side and encouraged it beyond who I instinctually am. Because of his Madonna Whore complex, he loved me as his pure partner but was only turned on by those he considered bad. *sigh*  It was almost like he wanted me to be the wild stripper the other men believed I was, but then chose to be with me because I wasn't. I thought we were both on the same page and believed we would spend the rest of our lives together.

Since I no longer strip, at least when I am finally ready to date again it won't be with men who met me that way. Even so, I am worried that--because I am so open about who I am--I will keep attracting men who believe my Bad Girl/Good Girl ratios are different than they are or who will want to change them. The easy solution would be to stop being so open, but I want my partner to choose to be with me because he knows who I truly am.

Why are honesty, disclosure, and acceptance such rare relational traits?

Someone recently asked me if I was still sober

I appreciate that people care and are concerned for me. Yes! I have three years sobriety for alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy sex.

Alcohol. My biggest triggers were Las Vegas and bad relationships. Once I quit stripping in Vegas (choosing to work in small towns instead), I broke the habit of drinking at work. At the time I decided to get sober, I also left an unhealthy relationship. This was eye-opening and it was a long time before I felt ready to commit again. While I miss drinking the occasional SweetWater Blue, for the most part not drinking is easy. No triggers = no desire.

Sometimes I miss weed. It's true. I have the opportunity often, yet always turn it down. Having ADD, weed gave me tons of energy. After I quit smoking, I immediately gained 10 pounds that I haven't been able to lose since.  *sigh*  Also, marijuana enhanced my sexual pleasure so much that I could even orgasm from giving head. I miss that! On the bright side, I am always sober and alert. I do not need to self-medicate and I remember much more.

This year at Burning Man I met a gorgeous man. It is rare that I look at a man and think "WOW!" So rare, in fact, that I can remember each one throughout my lifetime. This guy was that quality of eye candy! I've never had sex at Burning Man, and it had been awhile since I'd gotten laid in my personal life. But -- I am successfully reformed! No OMGHSH sex, no Craigslist sex, no sex without commitment. I did take lots of pictures of him, though.. ;)

(picture of me taken by a fellow Burner)

Now that I am no longer stripping, I work full-time cooking and cleaning for the man in my life. Whoever said "You can't turn a whore into a housewife" was wrong.  :-p  Ok, so I wasn't a whore, but close enough in most people's eyes.

My life is simple and drama-free. Nobody causes me stress (those who had were phased out long ago). I am healthy, sober, and happy. Everyday I am grateful.

Quitting stripping

If you truly want to quit stripping, follow these instructions:

Figure out how much money you need to survive without any luxuries. This means rent/utilities/groceries/car only. No eating out, no drugs or alcohol, no shopping for items other than the most basic essentials. This bare-bones amount will be much less than you expected. Save up enough for 6 months.

To prevent spending your savings, pre-pay your rent/mortgage and car payments, purchase money orders for future utility payments, and buy gift cards for the rest (gas, groceries, etc). Once you have done this, quit stripping completely (no part-time) and find a "normal" job that will cover your most basic expenses. The buffer you have saved up will be "insurance" to keep you from stressing out during the transition period. Try not to rely on any of the buffer money, but if you need to that is why it's there. Within a few months you should be adjusted to the difference in money and living a happy non-stripper life!

Seeing how easily money comes to others makes it more difficult to live poor. Maintaining your stripper friendships could tempt you back into the life...same with having drug/alcohol/shopping addictions. If you are serious about quitting, be prepared to give all of these things up.


Mental health is worth more than anything you can buy. If you're doing something that you feel is betraying yourself--no matter what it is--get out!


Why I quit stripping
Since I love being part of the sex industry, my reasons were very different: (1) the excitement was fading, & (2) I began dating.

Back in 2004, I quit a six-figure job to become a stripper. To say I was "dancing" wouldn't be accurate because, even though I incorporated dance moves, men only paid because my clothes came off too. It was a fantasy come true for me and I really enjoyed myself. When it became more work than fun, I stopped and went back to the mainstream world.

Stripping was never "just a job" for me; I got off on it. Therefore, ethically it felt inappropriate for me to continue while involved with someone. Both stripping and relationships are too personal for me to compartmentalize.

I know I am different than most women. My motivations, opportunities, my rationale... However, it's still difficult for me to understand how a woman could subject herself to this field if she doesn't enjoy it. Yes, the earning potential can be high--but for those who don't find it pleasurable, the skin industry messes them up. I've seen too many good people destroy themselves for money.

Lots of people find my blog from "how to quit stripping" internet searches. Assuming these are strippers who hate their jobs, feel trapped, and desperately want to find a way out, than this blog offers the solution. All it requires is the desire to change your life and the tenacity to follow through.

Many Peoria guys have requested I make a return trip.

Unfortunately, last night management of Big Al's told me that they no longer allow traveling strippers. Considering I've been well liked each time I've been there and even brought everyone gifts on my last trip, it surprised me greatly that this manager said no and wouldn't make an exception. What this means is that whenever I travel out to the midwest, Peoria will no longer be a place to see me. Sorry guys..

* Should you wind up there anyway, look up Izzy. She is a super hot 21 year old black goddess.   ;)

Sober over 2 years

From working as a Vegas stripper, I could out-drink 4 big men in a row. My party days were intense. Seriously. I was drinking 30-40 shots of Patron per night (yes, alcohol poisoning several times per week). In addition to that, I was also smoking 6 ounces of weed per month. During my extreme low I even took Valium, Xanax, and snorted powder.. Yeah, I was a party girl.

Then I decided to change my life.


Really. It was that simple. I quit....and I haven't been tempted to lapse.
I enjoy sober life (Mocktails and all!).

It is amazing how many of my dreams have come true since. During this time I took classes and passed certification exams for A+, Networking+, and Security+! In addition, I've taken numerous trips outside the US including: Costa Rica, Panama, Spain, France, Italy, Austria, Slovenia, Czech Republic, Germany, and Switzerland. It's been a full-on self-improvement journey--taking care of myself in every way. Truly happy.       :)       :)



Life is getting better and better all the time!! :)

Fertility = $$ (Stripper study)

There was a study in the United States which proves that strippers make more money when they are ovulating.

These statistics are average earnings based upon working a 5hr shift:
while on her period = $185
normal part of cycle = $260
during ovulation = $335

While money varies dramatically depending on what part of the country you are in, I do agree with this study. I have personally experienced a huge difference in income depending on what part of my cycle I am in.

Wanna Motorboat?

LOL, I love being silly. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Let's play!   *wink*

Hustlers

Since the porn conventions are in town I am taking several days off to hang out with friends. Last night's party was at the new Hustler Club. Being inside a gentlemen's club totally puts me in my element. I wasn't stripping--I was there as a customer. Needless to say, I had a blast! The Hustler Club is Vegas's newest mega-strip club: multi-level with several stages going at once and hundreds of girls. It was a fun time. While I didn't bring my camera, several other people did. (Note: Cameras are NOT allowed in strip clubs. The private party I was with was granted an exception.)



There were a few Reno dancers at Hustler. It was great seeing them! I miss Wild Orchid so I may drive up to Reno next weekend to work.

Soon I need to decide which life path I want moving forward

Websites that want to make money have affiliate programs because it is the easiest form of marketing. So, why didn't my pin-up site have one? The most obvious answer applies here: money wasn't my motivation. (!) Rather, I got off on knowing that the men who joined my site were men whom I personally handed my card to (maybe even lapdanced for). It is a huge turn-on to know that people you've met in real life are masturbating while fantasizing about fucking you. Really. That is HOT!! And the sexual charge I got was worth more to me than any extra money I would've made.

When I strip, I do so for similar reasons. Stripping is a fantasy job. Men compliment me all night, appreciate my teasing them, and then go home and masturbate while thinking of me. It's kind of like being a 15 year old girl again, except it's a legitimate job which pays handsomely. WOW! The more money I make, the sexier I feel... And...the sexier I feel, the more money I make. It doesn't get better than that!
Those who know me laugh about how rarely I actually work. To give my readers a good idea, I usually post on my blog when I am going somewhere to strip. Vegas is my primary workplace but some small town clubs are more enjoyable (Wild Orchid in Reno is my current favorite, Big Al's in Peoria is second). This is a social job, I love the interaction, and always keep a spare bikini and set of high heels in my car. When the mood strikes, I'm prepared!       ;)

Most importantly, stripping is "fun" and not "work". Whenever it has began to feel like work, I've stopped. The more carefree I approach it, the easier it is to make money. I'm not there to work--I am there to PLAY. Attitude is everything.




My real background is marketing and HR. Can you visualize me as the Marcom Manager of a Fortune 500 company? What about the top sales executive for a well-known publication? I have been both. Corporate life isn't for everyone and I generally prefer the flexibility and control of being self-employed.

Recently I was offered another full-time permanent position working at a conservative corporation. This is a good opportunity for me. If I take it, Trixie must disappear. No more stripping, no more adult conventions, possibly even no more blogging. Am I ready to give this up? They requested I start in mid-January.

If I turn down this job, I will likely step up my adult work. What would that mean exactly? It could be stripping on a more regular schedule, maybe doing porn, possibly escorting.. I haven't decided yet. No matter what I choose to do, I will enjoy myself. I'm a strong believer in "He who enjoys life, wins at life".


Decisions.... Decisions....

Going on stage

Strippers use stage names for a reason: to protect their personal lives.

Someone asks me "Do you know Candy? Her real name is Tina." Assuming I didn't already know Candy's real name, this stranger just told me without giving it a second thought. It happens all the time. People like this are untrustworthy and don't respect other people's privacy.

Many strippers have 3 names--their stage name, their "real name" (also fake), and their REAL name. Refrain from asking a stripper her real name; it puts her on the spot and increases the odds of her telling you her "real name" to avoid hurting your feelings or losing you as a customer.

By waiting until she volunteers to tell you, you are showing her respect and may actually earn her REAL name. If a stripper gives a name other than her stage name, appreciate that she felt comfortable/safe enough with you to share and don't betray her confidence. If she never volunteers, don't take it personally. Strippers use stage names for a reason: to protect their personal lives.

Here is an extreme example of what not to do:

Looking in the Past - m4w - 52 (central mass)
Date: 2009-10-17, 5:09PM EDT
Reply to: pers-5uddm-1425991978@craigslist.org

I have tried this once before and of course I got a bunch of spammers so unless you do have some real info, fuck off. I am only interested in information about a Russian Exotic Dancer who worked at the Foxy Lady in Providence R.I. a couple of years ago, I know its a long shot but I have no other way of finding out what happened to her. Stage name was Layla, her real name was Alicia, she lived in South Boston and then as far as I know she moved to Walpole and quit dancing, went back to school (good for her) and had future plans of opening a tea shop in Boston, one of her good friends was another dancer named Tonia who lived in Bridgewater Mass. Alicia (Layla) was a tall beautiful woman with long dark hair, of course a beautiful body, I am just trying to find out some info about her, so if someone sees this add, let me know.

Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/mis/1425991978.html

DON'T EVER DO THIS!!! If someone tells you a something personal/private you should not share that information with anyone else. Period! Even if you suspect that person tells everyone their secrets, when you are told something in confidence you should always be honourable and not tell anyone else.


(Leaving for yoga class now.. hehe....)

I am working at Wild Orchid in Reno

Beautiful club, very friendly dancers and staff.

Big Al's in Peoria is my Midwest club and Wild Orchid in Reno may become my primary west coast club whenever I'm not in Vegas.

Dresden Dolls + Vegas

Tomorrow night I will be going to see the Dresden Dolls in San Diego. Don't know who they are? Watch: http://youtube.com/user/dresdendolls?ob=1


After the show I will be heading to Vegas to dance. This may be the last time before I re-enter corporate world. Come see me! :)

Stripper Trixie

At work, I have this presence about me. I walk slowly with my back straight, head aligned with my spine, belly tucked in and pulled up, chin up, and always making eye contact. My flow is so natural, I ooze such confidence, men are drawn to me. They want to spend time with me. They need to get to know me better and are willing to spend money for the privilege -- no contact.


Ultra-slow movement. Seduction. Every angle must look good, as if posing for a camera. Slow. Holding each pose long enough for mental capture. Eye contact.
- or -
HIGH Energy. The music commands my body, I have no control. Nirvana.

Bruce the Mormon

On the flight home a few nights ago, I met Bruce. He was a very polite gentleman and we started chatting right away. He asked what I did for a living and I sharply handed him my business card. This, of course, was before I learned that Bruce was a devout Mormon, an active part of his church, and happily married with 5 children. As a Sagittarius, I'm well known for putting my foot in my mouth. This is a great example!

Without knowing too much about them, I've never had a positive view on Mormons before. Bruce may have changed that. Listening to the reasoning behind what he believes and how it helps him live his life was really fascinating. His religion is not for me, but it obviously works for him...and that is all that matters!

He was very cool about my occupation and curious, to say the least. See, Bruce had never spoken to a stripper in his entire life. I told him that I would not be a good representative example. He told me that he would later bring up our chance meeting and discussions to both his wife and his congregation.

During our 3 hour flight we discussed a variety of topics. He asked the normal customer-dancer questions and I quized him on his religion. We discussed childrearing (I'm not a parent, btw) and the moral fabric of today's society. How it takes more than not being a bad person to qualify as a good person; being a good person is proactive. This was definitely an educational flight for both of us!

Everyone knows that Mormons have a lot of restrictions, but I never knew that they also have several positive "do" rules too (such as "Eat grains"). Church officials are not volunteers, instead they are members whom were asked to serve and chose to accept. They are not paid a salary and can often work 40+ hours a week within the church (not counting their normal job). Members are expected to pay 10% of their gross income to the church as tithes. This is a very sacrificing religion.

Many Mormons don't drink caffeine and I was always under the impression that was one of their rules. Bruce corrected me, "Only coffee and tea were forbidden." Really? Bruce drinks soda. Considering back when the rules were first decided soda didn't exist yet, isn't it reasonable to assume that it would have been forbiddem too?? Hehe.. "The rules aren't set in stone; only guidelines to live the best possible life." He enjoys soda as an acceptable luxury and doesn't drink the other two out of faith.

Bruce was a happy man. I find it amazing that someone can live that disciplined of a lifestyle and be happy...but, he was. Not many people have that much self-restraint. I sure don't. This was a fun plane ride.