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When you fail to follow your dreams, you cheat yourself out of being you.
Be proud of who you are and don't back down.
Be a winner at the game of life!
Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts

Saturday, June 18, 2016

The Ketogenic Diet and Cancer


Published on Jun 17, 2016
Dr. Mike explains how a ketogenic diet can prevent and even cure cancer by depriving cancer cells of glucose, which is their only energy source.

For more True Health content,
Subscribe to Dr. Mike's channel for more awesome videos at https://www.youtube.com/drmichaelvandc
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References:

1. Lee C, Raffaghello L, Brandhorst S, et al. Fasting Cycles Retard Growth of Tumors and Sensitize a Range of Cancer Cell Types to Chemotherapy. Science Translational Medicine. 2012;4(124):124.

2. Brandhorst S et al. A periodic diet that mimics fasting promotes multi-system regeneration, enhanced cognitive performance, and healthspan. Cell Metabolism. 2015;22(1):86-99.

3. Rocha NS, Barbisan LF, de Oliveira ML, de Camargo JL. Effects of fasting and intermittent fasting on rat hepatocarcinogenesis induced by diethylnitrosamine. Teratog Carcinog Mutagen. 2002;22(2):129-38.

4. Descamps O, Riondel J, Ducros V, Roussel AM. Mitochondrial production of reactive oxygen species and incidence of age-associated lymphoma in OF1 mice: effect of alternate-day fasting. Mech Ageing Dev. 2005 Nov;126(11):1185-91.

5. New York Times May 12, 2016

6.http://articles.mercola.com/sites/art...

7. Koppenol WH, Bounds PL, Dang CV. Otto Warburg's contributions to current concepts of cancer metabolism. Nat Rev Cancer. 2011 May;11(5):325-37.

Monday, June 15, 2015

A woman's body image and how easy it is to ruin

Las Vegas is a world famous adult playground. Working there can bring in big money, but it comes at a price. Vegas is all image and people pride themselves on being hustlers. Being fake is the norm. Everyone is judged--on looks, body, age, money, car, who you're sleeping with--not only did I hate living there, it ruined my normal healthy body image.

From stripping at the top Las Vegas gentlemen's clubs, I saw it all. I worked at Crazy Horse Too, Olympic Garden, Sapphire, and Spearmint Rhino. I was at the top clubs at the right times. Crazy Horse Too is the best club I have ever worked at. They treated their ladies with more respect than is experienced in this industry; it was excellent for my mental health and self-esteem. I worked there up until the day they closed.

On the polar opposite end of the spectrum was Spearmint Rhino. It was a toxic environment. There were actually a few occasions when the morning manager at Spearmint Rhino came up to me while I was on stage (!!) and told me I needed to lose weight before my next shift. Are you kidding me?!? I have curves, not rolls.

This is what I looked like at that time:



Instead of being brushing it off as an asshole Spearmint Rhino manager being a jerk when he was lucky enough to get hired at a top US strip club, it scarred me for life. Here are a few more pictures from the past: 






Because of these negative experiences, now I can't stop critiquing myself; it is ingrained and automatic. I am writing this as a real woman. A real woman who, with a pin-up body, was given a body image complex. Back then I was in the gym a few hours every day. Currently, all I have time for is an hour a day. Knowing that I don't look my personal best messes with me a lot. I'm in pretty good shape and not fat, but again...if my body wasn't good enough when it looked like that, how can I ever be satisfied?

By the way, the image below is what I was expected to look like (obviously less "fat" than above). I haven't looked like that since I quit smoking weed. 

(Quitting pot immediately made me gain 10 pounds that hasn't left me since. *sigh*)


Few women share their insecurities. I wrote this to bring awareness to the damage that can be done to the feminine ego. A joke to a man can seriously hurt a woman. She may not tell you, yet your words may still ring in her head decades later. Hundreds of compliments can't undue the damage of one well-placed insult.

Friday, April 25, 2014

What happened to gender differences?

Feminist women have trained men to believe that they do not have to be men anymore. Most men are oblivious, only noticing the money they save while courting and how much easier it is to get sex. But it runs much deeper than that. There is an inherent lack of respect for men by women once women have to take on a more masculine role. Why should I respect him as a man when I can be my own provider? Why should I respect his penis when I can easily get another?

What is the male role? The ability and desire to provide for and protect his family at all costs. A man's goal is to work and make as much money as he can to provide. While he's single, this is to prepare for his eventual wife and children. No real man would ever allow a woman to pay for dates, as doing so demasculates him to the core. The money saved doesn't justify the lost respect. Fathers who allow their children to go hungry, without clothes, or without intellectual stimulation aren't men either. Whether with his child's mother or not, a man will do whatever it takes to have enough money to make sure his family is ok. "Wanna-be men" believe that paying court-ordered child support (which they are often bitter about) is good enough. And lastly, men are supposed to be able to fix and repair things. Even if you have plenty of money to hire someone, the ability to do basic house and car repairs is expected of all men.

What is the female role? To be a caretaker and raise healthy children. Most women have jobs, yet at the same time this can defeminize them. A woman takes care of her family--and not by paying someone else to do it while she goes to work. A woman puts her children first (because they cannot protect themselves) and her partner second. Woman are excellent comforters and are there to lend a hug or supporting comment when her child or man needs it. Women are expected to "step back" when it's helpful towards encouraging her family to to grow and succeed. In addition, frugal shopping and cooking are essential skills all women should have.

Surely it is clear that I do not believe in equal rights. I never have. Men are providers and protectors; women are caretakers. This is natural and works the best because men and women are biologically different. In today's society, many females try to prove they are equal to or better than men. Sadly, laziness has caused just as many males to expect women to pick up the man's slack. Divorce rates in the U.S. are over 50%, and I am convinced this is why. Having a vagina doesn't make you a real woman just like having a penis doesn't make you a real man.

Once upon a time, men knew that they had to "step up" to the husband and father role when they got a woman pregnant. Now, instead of being selective when choosing sex partners, boys are taught (often by their parents!) that they have the option of running away from their male responsibility. Parents claim they want their children to be successful in everything; however, for the past 50 years these same parents have neglected insuring that their children can live up to the most basic of gender roles. These roles exist for a reason and create a harmonious society. When gender roles are not respected, everyone suffers. Do you have children? If so, are you teaching your son how to be a man? Your daughter how to be a woman?

Need help? While written in a religious context, these two books are the best I've seen for teaching a woman how to be proper wife: For Woman Only and More Hours In My Day. If you love your daughter, you will teach her these skills. You can also teach her how to be self-sufficient, but she needs to know how to be a proper woman first and foremost. When parents fail to teach their boys what it takes to be a man, women and children get neglected. Since I am a woman, I do not have any book suggestions for men--but I will start looking, and will add a comment below when I have some. If you do not live up to your gender role, you need to evaluate why and fix yourself.


**** Just a side note, after working in strip clubs I can tell you that most strippers have children. The same holds true for prostitutes. A large percentage are forced into adult work to support their child(ren) because the males who got them pregnant weren't really men. These women are often looked down upon, when in reality they do whatever it takes to take care of, provide for, and protect their children after a man has chosen not to be there.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Reversed cancer without chemotherapy or radiation




I strongly believe that traditional chemotherapy and radiation isn't nearly as effective for treating cancer as nutrition and attitude. While the following story is personal, the benefit of sharing my experience far outweighs my need for privacy.

Much of last year I had all the symptoms of late-stage colon cancer. I had diarrhea or soft pencil stools every time I used the bathroom for several months, had obstructions, was bloated, and my lower abdomen and rectum were in severe pain. I lost 35 pounds before I got so nauseous that I didn't want to eat anymore. There were days when I had to lay on the floor in fetal position unable to move from all the pain. I did not have insurance and could not afford the expensive tests I needed.

I turned to Traditional Chinese Medicine. I went to my Chinese practitioner weekly (more often when needed), followed the herbal recommendations he suggested, and switched to organic non-GMO foods. Twice I came in with obstructions so bad that I hadn't excreted in days and he was able to unblock it. I revamped my exercise and meditation routines--adding yoga and Qigong. This was a combined effort: nutrition, exercise, meditation, and Chinese bodywork alignment. I also started going to church. It took 5 months for my health to be restored completely.

Six months after my symptoms first began I was able to come up with resources for a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Even though I had been cured, I went in. The gastroenterologist couldn't explain it. He said there was evidence that I had had chronic irritation, but my health was now fine. No cancer or anything else and my blood work was also back to normal. It is possible to cure cancer and other diseases naturally--without pharmacology. People who don't believe that are generally the same people who aren't willing to spend any time researching.


*       *       *       *       *

Be careful when you trust Big Pharma with your life. Anybody who profits off of another's poor health could be guilty of conflicting interests. The longer you are kept alive dependent upon medication, the more money the pharmaceutical companies make. Even if you don't believe that they care more about their own bottom-line than your health, their mistakes are too numerous to count. Often drugs make so much in profit that, even after factoring in lawsuits, the revenue generated keeps it on the market.

An interesting fact, if you are not already aware: Bayer introduced heroin to the general public as a cheap cough suppressant and as a non-addictive morphine substitute. You can imagine how profitable it became. They even encouraged it to be given to children. Oops!



Sunday, March 23, 2014

On the Down Low?

This blog post was inspired by the following redacted email which I received earlier today:
I had a friend in college...he dated women, got married, etc. When his wife announced that she is pregnant, he came out. It's pretty selfish to pull someone (and then a kid) into a life that cannot possibly end happily.

After living in Atlanta, I must say I am shocked by how many DL men there are. For those who are unaware, DL (down low) refers to discreet male-male hookup sex by men who publically identify as straight and often have wives or girlfriends.

http://pittqueertheoryf11.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/finding-the-down-low/
 

A smart man once told me that "Nobody ever does anything that they cannot rationalize." That is true. Most of the DL men rationalize it by saying their woman doesn't give them enough sex, oral sex, some other fetish sex, or even that they are bisexual and need to have sex with both genders to feel satisfied. They justify their disloyalty by rationalizing why it should be okay. The men they hook up with are on the same page, which further reinforces their warped view of right versus wrong.

My sex drive is on the high end of healthy, I enjoy kinky sex, and I am bisexual--yet I can honestly say that I have never cheated. It is tough to get me to commit because I expect monogamy in my committed relationships. This is why I have only committed to 3 men in my life, the others never got to that point. In relationships where monogamy is negotiable, the couple still needs to discuss and agree upon acceptable alternatives BEFORE anything ever happens--otherwise it is cheating. Honesty and communication are essential for committed relationships to be healthy. If either are missing, at least one partner is being held hostage in a relationship he/she might not consent to otherwise.

Maybe it's because I was raised in California, but I cannot understand why a man would be so deceitful. If you like having sex with men, be open about it. Some women are really turned on by that! If you are gay and want children, there are plenty of women who would love to have a child but don't want a romantic relationship. If you are in a committed relationship, whether with a man or with a woman, having sex or getting sucked off by ANYONE else without your partner's knowledge and permission in advance is cheating. If the temptation is too great, leave your partner first. That shows respect. Cheating and exposing your partner to risk and humiliation is the ultimate in disrespect.

Not only is it scarring for a woman to find out her partner is going outside their relationship for sex with men, but there is also a huge safety issue. In 2011, Atlanta was 8th in the country for new HIV infections; now it is 4th. While most people won't choose to have sex with someone they know will give them a disease, 62% of aware HIV+ men have admitted to having unprotected sex within the past year. Not everyone honestly discloses their status, and many never get tested. Even scarier, much of the "down low" sex is with strangers.



For all the DL men, the female in your life deserves someone who will love her with loyalty and find her sexually attractive, not to be used as a "cover" to hide your sexual orientation or other secrets. If you are homosexual and afraid to be honest because of how people will view you,  move somewhere more open-minded (California?) where you can be your true self and start over.

If you stumbled upon this blog post after catching your man on the DL, contact the Straight Spouse Network to get support.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Why I dropped out of college

I had norovirus all last week and, since I had so much down time, I pulled up Season 1 of Ally McBeal on NetFlix. When it was on TV over a decade ago, it was my favorite show. Watching it again has gotten me to think quite a bit. It is strange how years can go by before you realize what actually happened in your life.




When I met my ex (I'll call him Mr. Racer for this article), I was a college senior, serious about school, and had many more years of education planned. I also had a great job. After I started dating Mr. Racer, I pretty much stopped going to school completely and focused on adultwork. It hadn't occurred to me until now how much he played a role in that.

My last semester at University was a few months after Mr. Racer moved in. He did not like me being at school. He said the amount of stress that I experienced during school and with deadlines was too much for him. He encouraged me to ask for a raise at my marketing job and helped me with Adult business. He is the one who invented Trixie Racer and eventually suggested we move to Las Vegas so I could strip full-time. Since he couldn't qualify to purchase a condo there, I bought one in my name. We broke up at the end of 2005--and I was stuck having paid top dollar for a condo in a collapsing city.

We didn't talk for 4 years. During that time, I went back to school, took computer classes, and received certifications for A+, Network+, and Security+. After Mr. Racer and I started living together again, I told him it was important for me to keep my certifications current, but he would not allow me study time. He also knew that I wanted to go back to school as soon as I was legally considered a resident of the state we were in for tuition purposes. The first semester I would have qualified for was this semester: Spring 2014.

I'm not sure if it was because of my love for him, or not wanting to believe that our relationship was unhealthy, but it didn't occur to me until recently that Mr. Racer basically sabotaged my education. Obviously I must take responsibility in this too--since I allowed him. Even though I am a strong woman, I have a submissive side which naively trusted that his intentions were pure. From this sad realization, I also know now--without a doubt--that Mr. Racer never actually loved me. Love is encouraging and helping the person you love to succeed and achieve to be the very best they can, even if it means that their improved self won't want you in his/her life anymore. Love is totally selfless. He didn't do that at all. He discouraged me from growing into who I naturally am and molded me into what he wanted me to be.

I won't say that I never enjoyed stripping. Some times it was really fun and I met a lot of great people. At the same time, doing that for work never gave me the same satisfaction as college or my marketing job. I love to learn and use my brain. By working in Vegas strip clubs, I basically had the same, simple, monotonous conversations with drunk men every night. I was no longer valued for my brain; only for my body and my ability to move it. I can't even imagine where I would be today if I had dated somebody who had supported my going to school. :(   

In the near future, I will be re-entering college. This time around I know that if anyone tries to stop me it will be for their own selfish reasons--and not in my best interest. That applies to all forms of improvement. When someone doesn't support you improving, it means they prefer you to be stagnant or regress; either way, it's a sure red flag and you should run.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Living life

When I was a kid, I loved the Choose Your Own Adventure books. I would read them, and then go back and see what other options I could've chosen. This taught me to carefully think through my choices because my life might depend upon them. While in real life our choices are rarely so dramatic, they are equally as important.


Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.
--Goethe

Here is a simple way to get in touch with your priorities. Imagine that you have an incurable illness and are given six months to live. As the doctors inform you of their findings, see yourself accepting your imminent mortality with the resolve, "I am going to spend the last months of my life living to the fullest, doing those things that are truly important to me." Then imagine yourself living out those six months in the manner in which you have decided.

Afterwards, note your experience. During your remaining days, what did you do, who did you see, and where did you go? What do these choices say about what is really important to you - your values and priorities? Are you living them today? If you are not, you may want to learn from Tony's story.

After being diagnosed with AIDS, Tony decided to embrace life. He bought a house, planted a garden, and nurtured his important relationships. As a result, he lived the remaining three years of his life in pure joy.

The tragedy is that his life ended just as he was beginning to live. Why wait for a life threatening experience to motivate you to take action? Confront your fears and pursue what brings you happiness and joy.

There is no better time than now.



Friends have always been amazed at how quickly I accomplish my goals after choosing them. This isn't by mere chance. Since it doesn't make sense for me to only dream of a life I want without living it, I immediately create an implementation plan.

Why are so many afraid to live their dreams? "It's just not the right time," "I'll do it later," and "I want to, but ____." are all excuses from people who enjoy the complaining process more than they want to succeed. That boggles my mind.

Anything below full commitment isn't really choosing. You are in complain mode.
 
Life is easy: decide what you want, map out what it takes to succeed, have confidence that you can do it, commit, start, and follow through. If you're reading this and thinking "But in my case, ____,"--no matter what that "but" is--you're still making excuses. Your success and happiness is completely in your hands. Claim it!



Monday, August 5, 2013

Pretentious

During a recent argument, I called my friend a "pretentious ass". It fit. For fun this morning, while still glowing with pride at my clever remark, I decided to look "pretentious" up in the dictionary. To my absolute shock, there I was. Not just a photo, but a live stream, as if there was a hidden camera in the dot of the i .    *embarrassed*

Seriously... I require an overhaul. I have allowed character flaws to run rampant. I am not a princess. No, I'm not. Truthfully. I have to remember that. There are plenty more too, but no need to boast.   :-p    Honest self-evaluation is tough. And when we go too long without monitoring our own behavior, sometimes we morph into someone we no longer like. 

Structure helps. This is what I am currently working on:
  • Study for IT re-certifications
  • Read The Fourfold Path to Healing: Working with the Laws of Nutrition, Therapeutics, Movement and Meditation in the Art of Medicine  
  • Create compatible menu plans and shopping lists 
  • eBay

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Cannabis to be an allowed exception

I quit drinking on August 14, 2009 and quit smoking marijuana on August 30, 2009. Before quitiing, I used both to self-medicate. I joke around about having been an alcoholic and drug addict, but in reality I don't believe that to be true. A more honest assessment would be that I drank and used in excess in hopes of dying. Thankfully, I removed myself from unhappy situations and learned healthy life coping techniques.

After quitting, I had a pot dealer roommate, stayed with a good friend who made daily offers, and became romantically involved with a weed smoker. In addition, I kept my own personal stash (it was only last year that I finally got rid of it). Opportunity to smoke has always been here.

How have I stayed clean and sober? Because I chose to. Alcohol and drugs were no longer serving me in a productive way. Did I read any 12 Step books? No, but I bought some. Have I been attending 12 Step meetings? The only meetings I've attended were during Burning Man.

So, why am I writing this? It is probable that I will eventually smoke again. Not a lot, and not to self-medicate. For over a year I've been weighing the pros and cons of introducing marijuana back into my life.  Pot gave me energy, helped me exercise, and expanded my mind for more creative writing.

There are people who will think I am going on the wrong path. Some are just anti-marijuana, others may feel like I'm on a slippery slope back into addiction. I have thought long and hard about that and don't believe it to be true.  People say that cigarettes or marijuana are the gateway drugs, when in reality it is caffeine and alcohol--but I digress..... I haven't started smoking yet and I'm not even sure when I will. I say "when" because I do expect to smoke weed again. The circumstances will be right, and, this time around, it won't be an inadvertant "moment of weakness" or to mask unhappiness in my life.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

The dos and don'ts of internet dating

When people decide to use the internet to find a potential partner, many don't know what to do. It's easier than you might think! Here is your short guide:

1) Have a detailed profile. One of the biggest mistakes men often make is not writing enough. There are a disproportionate amount of men on dating sites, so most women get bombarded with attention. Unless your profile says something to stand out and spark interest, most women won't waste their time responding. Also, have a positive tone to your profile; negative comments are a turn off. Writing a quality profile is an investment.

2) The goal is to meet in person, so upload at least one photo. This should go without saying, but sadly many people mess this up so I'll spell it out: THE PHOTO SHOULD BE OF YOU, representative of what you currently look like, and recent!! If someone chooses to meet you after seeing your pics, then your looks are good enough. :)   Using a non-accurate photo says you are dishonest, and most likely will cause your date to be dissapointed in your appearance. In the comment fields it is always good to list the month and year that each picture was taken.

3) Be honest. No matter who you are and what you're looking for, there is someone for everyone. Being honest is essential to finding the most compatible person for you.

4) Smile in your pictures. This is the #1 thing I look for. When a man doesn't smile in his photos, he doesn't seem like a happy person or fun to spend time with. Taking happy photos will bring you better luck.
** Six months ago I took pictures of a friend of mine for his online dating profile. Before that, he never smiled for photos which made him look grumpy/older in his pics. Needless to say, he got little response. A geeky smile--or any kind of unnatural smile--is always more inviting than a non-smile. :)  The way I took new smile pictures was to have my camera ready and I snapped photos whenever he laughed. It took a weekend to get a few good ones, but afterward he had much better dating luck and now has a girlfriend!
5) If you initiate contact with someone, write at least a couple paragraphs. I know, some people are rude and don't reply. However, you are looking for a new PARTNER here, so spend at least a couple minutes to show you're interested. Bring up something specific from their profile that makes you think the two of you will be compatible. Rule of thumb: your message should always be a minimum of 300 characters. Realistically, double the length of a text message or tweet. Sending anything shorter screams "You are not worthy of my time."

6) Reply to all messages that you receive. This one is sometimes tough, especially if you get a lot of messages. However, even a "Thank you for your message, but I am not interested" goes a long way.

7) For the men, always be a gentlemen! It seems few actually know what this means anymore (very sad). Here's a link to remind/teach you: http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41b_success.html


Good luck! Everyone deserves to find that special someone who makes them happy.  :)

Friday, January 4, 2013

New Year Resolutions

The secret to New Years Resolutions is to only commit to changes that you really want.

Every year people make New Year resolutions that they are unable to stick to. No, that's not accurate.. Every year people make New Year resolutions that they are unwilling to stick to. We make choices in life; if your New Year resolution is to eat better or exercise--and then you don't, it's because you chose not to stick to it. This means that making a resolution that you don't want to stick to is either torturing yourself or lying to yourself.

What is my New Year resolution for 2013? I will stop hitting curbs with my tire or rim. It's not that I am particularly a bad driver, I just haven't been careful enough when parking. My goal is reasonable and I am ready to make this change. Since January 1st, I've been parking while consciously paying attention to where my tires are (in the past I would focus on why I was parking instead of being active in the moment). This is an easy change which only requires dedication. In a few weeks, my brain should be re-programmed to always park this way.  :)

Why did I not choose eating properly or exercise, like millions of other people? Easy. I do these things already. Well, at least 90% of the time.  Not because they were successful during a previous New Year resolution, but because this is the lifestyle I've trained myself to be happy with.

Making resolutions is awesome. It is a way every year to fix something about yourself...something that you are ready to change and are willing to tackle all year long.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

The Men I've Loved

This year I am in a relationship...so, rather than writing an annual revamp of the "My Ideal Partner" list, I am sharing the diversity of men who previously captured my heart.




The Pool Boy - We had chemistry from the very first time we saw each other. I called you "Michelangelo's David" because you are physically perfect--just like the statue. Seriously, you are one of the most attractive men I've ever seen (and I've met Pierce Brosnan)! You called me "Ruby Tuesday." My wild side scared you and your irresponsibility scared me. We no longer talk.

The Millionaire - Our romance was straight out of a stripper fairytale. Flights, limos, day spas, 5-star hotels, lots of sex, intense partying. Sadly you died young; I've never gotten over that.

The Best Friend - Dating my best friend was ideal. Nobody else ever made me so happy. You loved me, cared for me, helped me grow, and encouraged me to follow my dreams. I did the same for you. You knew me better than anyone. We were healthy. A series of unfortunate events lead to our break-up.

The Stalker - You started by being my friend. When things weren't progressing fast enough, you tricked me into believing I was being harassed by an ex-boyfriend. I am ashamed to admit that I fell for it and ran straight to your arms for safety and comfort. Funny thing is, had you not done that, I would've been dating you within a few months anyway because I truly liked you. You were brilliant, funny, and awesome in bed. Once I discovered that it was actually you (and not the ex) who was terrorizing me, we were through.

The Biker - Ahhh, the man responsible for setting my libido for life! Most people find you too scary and wild, but that's not who you were with me. I ground you. You are still the same man--but I grew out of the "bad boy" phase. We've remained friends.

The Vampire - This is a weird one: I had a dream about you when I was twelve! Since I believe everything happens for a reason, when I saw you in real life I pursued you. It was important for me to understand why you were in my dream so many years earlier. You got lucky. If it wasn't for that dream, you would've been a couple night stand at best.

The Porno King - You've always treated me like a princess, even to this day. I have so much respect for you. In a different time we could've been an unstoppable couple. However, we had the time we had. It's amazing how similar we were. Thank you for our continued friendship and sharing yourself with me.


Like a typical Sagittarius, my life has been a collection of experiences. Love and lovers are no exception...and I've learned from them all.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Another blogger I follow recently publicly shared a story about how her grandparents started dating. Here is an small excerpt:
He said she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, but everyone told him not to waste his time. In turn, she didn't give him the time of day ... until one day.

My granddaddy was driving the mule truck when she crossed the street in front of him. Instead of stopping for her, he hit the gas and stopped mere inches from hitting her.

That's when she spoke to him for the first time, although what she said wasn't very ladylike. But he just grinned.

When she asked what he thought was so damn funny, he just smiled some more and said, "I got you to talk to me."

Behaviors, like the grandfather's above, need to be acknowledged for what they are: unhealthy. Unfortunately, some people don't see the harm and sometimes even find it cute. That boggles my mind.

I posted a simple comment saying it is sad that some people get attracted by being treated poorly--and how that is psychotic. The blog owner was offended and deleted my comment.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The phrase "Nice Guys Finish Last" exists because with tons of women it is true. They ignore the nice man who treats them with respect, instead falling for a jerk or "asshole" guy who doesn't treat them well (usually from the get-go). This happens so often that I've witnessed men who started off as nice guys become assholes because they were tired of losing out...and, sadly, they get more women. In the case above, the grandfather couldn't get the woman's attention until he put her safety at risk.

Assholes bait women with excitement, shock, fear, and/or drama. A common technique is to dish out back-handed compliments as part of the courting ritual. More women appear turned-on by these behaviors than turned-off. When it takes negative behaviors to snare a mate, additional negative behaviors are likely to escalate over time.

The more dysfunction you live with, the more normal it seems. Unconsciously people seek it out, getting into one unhealthy relationship after another. This also explains why women stay with bad men; toxicity is addictive and often interpreted as a "spark" or "chemistry". It is difficult to understand any other kind of life.

Several years ago I underwent training and certification for domestic violence and sexual assault counseling. Abuse comes in many forms. Physical abuse is the easiest to spot, but mental, emotional, sexual, and financial can be just as harmful. When someone is mean and/or violent towards you and you remain part of that person's life, you reward and reinforce their negative behavior. And...your self-esteem suffers.

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During my life, I've had healthy relationships and unhealthy ones. In hindsight, the unhealthy ones could've been spotted from the very beginning--and should've been. People need to respect each other, themselves included. After lots of therapy and self-reflection, I recognized that I was drawn to the excitement of drama and was able to break that cycle. Now, I would never consider dating an "asshole". Nice guys only. :)

Nice guys usually remain nice guys for many years before converting into assholes. Which is better? Depends on who you want to date and what her values are. Women who are attracted to the "Bad boy" or asshole type, usually take years of abuse before breaking their cycle. So, if you want to date young women, being an asshole is often more effective. *sigh*     Supply and demand: the older a woman gets, the fewer nice guys are out there. So, for women 30+, being a nice guy totally pays off and women will appreciate you.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Saving America & Preventing World War III

Generally I try to avoid talking about politics with this blog. However, this is too important to stand by and not speak up. Going to war with Iran is not only costly (both in money and lives), but would likely collapse the entire world's economy. ...And that is thinking positively. Realistically, it would be World War 3.



Really think about this.. Who would side with us? Isreal, maybe England, and the Gulf States. Who would side with Iran? China, Russia, Pakistan, and the former Soviet states.

If we have a ground war, we put the 100,000 U.S. troops at risk. They would be trapped in Afghanistan unless we can air lift them out. If it goes nuclear, the world is over. The United States is the only country in history to ever use nuclear weapons. If we did that again, it wouldn't matter that Iran doesn't have nukes--their allies do.



Ron Paul is the only presidential candidate who will not lead us into World War III. The other candidates have very publicly stated in the debates that they think going to war with Iran is a good idea. Obama has already shown that he was not worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize by keeping us in Afghanistan and Iraq for 3 years and initiating proxy wars with Yemen, Somalia, and Libya. In addition, Obama has already invaded Iran's airspace (an act of war). We need to focus on our own country and stop trying to control the rest of the world.

"We have enough time taking care of things back here at home, where we have 50 million people without healthcare, 14 million people who are out of work, millions of people who are losing their homes, and we're going to tell the Iranians how to run their country! Are you kidding me!"

I travel abroad a lot. In much of the world, the United States is not seen in the same good light Americans believe about their country. Instead, there have been lots of parallels drawn between Nazi Germany and the recent United States! How could this be, you may ask? Think about it. Since WW2 ended, the U.S. and Russia were the two superpowers until the Soviet Union collapsed, and then the United States took over as the world bully. We have invaded numerous countries (without ever making a legal declaration of war--as required by the Constitution)--and, since the War Powers Act, we have been in a constant state of war. When we declared "The War on Terror" in 2001, we left the definition so open to be never-ending. This is what the world sees.

The Patriot Act is very similar to Germany's Enabling Act. The Enabling Act didn't grant as much authority to the executive as the PATRIOT Act, but it was enough to allow a dictatorship to form. The National Defense Authorization Act for 2012 (NDAA), which Obama just signed into law, is also very similar to Germany's Reichstag Fire Decree (which nullified many of the key civil liberties of German citizens). We have crossed the line and it keeps getting worse.



No matter what your political beliefs are, this next election is more than just Republican vs Democrat, gun rights, taxes, and the other normal issues. This next election could make the difference between the U.S. staying a world power or collapsing!! We need massive changes to stop spending money overseas, reduce our multi-trillion dollar deficit, and reinstate our civil liberties. We have already lost many rights. Most of the candidates see nothing wrong with this and want to continue it. History repeats itself. We need to learn from the past to save our future.

Now is the time to take action. Obama cannot be trusted--he has already proven that he is willing to lead us into war and was directly responsible for signing the NDAA. Register as a Republican so you can vote in the primaries. To make a difference, you must make a stand now.

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This is the kind of disaster that would be easy to spot in hindsight. And it's easy to spot now with open eyes. Vote for Ron Paul. Stand up for America!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Sex on the side

Just because someone is married, does that mean he or she should never have sex with anyone else again? Many would say yes, but I disagree. Marriage should be a beautiful symbiotic arrangement--not a prison sentence.



Men with young kids at home should strive to be the best dad possible by staying married and always keeping peace at home. Families require stability. Unless their wives are extremely open-minded, this means they are limited to a lifetime of monogamy or secret affairs.
For a married man to have a successful secret affair:

(1) He needs to have a job with varying hours. This allows plenty of time for a mistress without arousing suspicion.

(2) His mistress has to understand that he's married and be quiet when his wife calls. A husband not answering calls or refusing to talk is just plain dumb.

(3) He needs to only have safe sex or make sure that he and anyone he's having sex with has been tested for STDs.

(4) Never bring the mistress back to the family home. A wife would consider this the ultimate betrayal.

(5) Make sure the relationship is mutually beneficial. No drama--only fantasies, romance, and fun. The wife is the one he lives his daily life with. His mistress is his "secret get-a-way from reality" and he should spoil her generously.

(6) Hiring a professional call girl is the safest route. Wives often desire revenge against husbands who have other "relationships" on the side. Whereas, should he ever get caught, the wife is much more likely to forgive him for hiring a hooker.


Sometimes having extramarital affairs can enrich your marriage. Seriously. They remind you why you love your partner so much, and, by experiencing another, you can show that renewed sense of love when you get back home. The key here is to do it without risking your current relationship and lifestyle. This can be tricky.

Personally, I am polyamorous and am honest when I feel the need to go elsewhere. I also understand if a partner feels the need for variety. Nobody owns me and I don't own anyone else. Sadly, few people are able to be that honest within their marriages without their partner freaking out. :(

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Meant to be single?

When I find a man I like enough to date, I can be very flirty and aggressive. Some men are suspicious and worry when it doesn't take a lot of work to win a woman over that she must not be worthy of being with. Either that, or they have such low self-esteem that they can't believe a beautiful woman truly likes them for them. Very strange. Luckily, since I don't want to be with a man so suspicious or with low-self esteem, my aggressive style helps to weed them out. :)

I am me, upfront, honest, and go after what I want in life. If a man doesn't have these same qualities, we probably won't be compatible. I certainly don't want to waste my time on someone who isn't totally into me. Why is it that people generally want to have to fight to win their partners? The way I look at it...if I have to convince someone to like me, we are not meant to be--and I move on.

Often I wonder if I am meant to be single. I'm not anti-relationship; I am picky. Trying to date is often too much drama and I hate drama. If I'm going to spend my time with someone, he needs to be worth it for me. I am not one of those women who hops into one relationship right after the last. During the past 10 years, I have been single for five, in serious relationships for four, and in an open relationship for one.

If my fuck buddy were local, I doubt I would try to date at all. While I don't mind being alone, my 10-speed purple vibrator gets old...

Monday, April 4, 2011

Charlie Sheen is living in an alternate reality

I was hoping that Charlie Sheen was a brilliant marketer. Unfortunately, he just posted this video on Twitter with the message, "This @charliesheen video made me laugh harder than the whole 8th season of 2.5 men":



The video wasn't funny and seems like a failing desperate attempt to hang on to fans. Realistically, showing off more of his awesome chest would work better. *wink*

It is now obvious that Charlie Sheen truly has lost his mind. It must be embarrassing to have such a public and well-documented meltdown. Unless something really newsworthy happens (commits suicide, ODs on drugs, or flies me to Hollywood), I don't plan to blog about him again.

Friday, April 1, 2011

How many sex partners have you had?

Maybe it's natural curiosity to want to know.. I don't know. I've NEVER asked a sex partner how many there were before me. Why? It's none of my business!! Nor will I answer that question for anyone else.

Guys are so silly. Most of them want a girl who has only had sex with a few men. Because of this, the average woman will lie and say 3-7. Yet how quickly did she sleep with you? Some men believe that a woman should have sex with them within three dates. First of all, I completely disagree with this and usually hold off for months when I want to pursue a relationship with a man. Second, any guy who believes that a woman who slept with him so early has only had a few sex partners is lying to himself.

Get the numbers. A woman is 30. She claims she lost her virginity at 17 and that she has only had 4 partners. Most of her relationships have lasted 3 years. Hmmmm. 13 years divided by 3 equals 4.333. This is plausible enough for you to believe her. Now--really think about it. How long did she wait before having sex with you? Do you believe that every single guy she fucked was a good guy and serious about a relationship? Does she ever go out and party? Did she? Does she have any "bad girl" girlfriends?



Instead of caring how many sex partners your girlfriend had before you, all that you should care about is who she is fucking now. Is it only you? Do you care if she has sex with other people? Is she disease-free? If you both agree to the sexual terms of your relationship, nothing else should matter.

NEVER ASK QUESTIONS WHEN YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO ACCEPT ANY ANSWER. Women: this goes for you too. Don't look down on a guy because he admits to having hired hookers. Most men have. Get over it. You should be grateful for his honesty. People are not born great lovers; it takes time and experimentation.

If your partner is good in bed without needing additional "training", consider yourself lucky and don't stress!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Stifled Voyeur

There is a lady at work who has such a sweet behind that I always catch myself staring at it. In the conservative world this behavior is not okay so I totally have to fight my urges to ogle.

In the adult world I could walk up to her and say:
"Wow! You have an amazing ass!"
And, instead of being sued, slapped, or fired, she would respond back with, "Ahh, thank you sweetie! I love your breasts!"

From there, we may exchange numbers for a later play date.
*REMINDER* "I only have casual sex with women"

Over the years a few of my friends have even performed private masturbation shows just for me using their webcams. YEAH BABY! Whether I'm turning around to watch a man's face as I grind on his lap during a dance, surfing porn, or watching a XXX show, being able to see the sexual pleasure of others is really a turn on for me. The closer, the better.

While I love my new job....there are many things I miss about adult. The mainstream world isn't the same.