Next week marks 7 years since I quit drinking

    It has been easy to stay quit.  I have not been attending AA. I do read self-help books. I was never an alcoholic. I decided one day to quit and I did. To give AA credit where credit is due, I did a 4-day crash course on the 12-steps. It was horribly intensive and taught me that I had a lot of deep negative emotions, that I wasn't perfect, and how to forgive. I also removed myself from the negative people and toxic situations. About 6 months after I quit, then the reality of everything I ignored when I drank was in my face. Wow. That was stressful. I realized that I did not like the person I had become. The second half of that first year I spent actively writing down goals and working on change to optimize my health and happiness.

Buy from Amazon

I have never read a self-help book for alcoholic...until now. Honestly I thought I didn't need it. However, recently I found a book that I would like to recommend for everyone who grew up in an alcoholic home. I did, and I had no idea that my childhood environment was responsible for so many of my adult problems. The book happens to be an out-of-print parenting book. Because of its parenting approach, I am able to get two perspectives out of it: myself as a child growing up in that environment and as the messed up adult. Buy it if you are ready to heal: The ACOA's Guide to Raising Healthy Children: A Parenting Handbook for the Adult Children of Alcoholics.


I know I haven't posted photos in a very long time...

So this was me back when I drank:

And this is now:

Happy birthday to all my Leo friends.

6 years sober

 I quit drinking 6 years ago. As I've said before, I wasn't an alcoholic. I was so unhappy with my life that I used alcohol to excess as a coping mechanism. When I did this, I drank pure Patrón. I hate tequila, yet it was the quickest solution. There are times when I would like to enjoy a Sweet Water Blue, a Guinness, or even a cocktail--all of these taste yummy--but then I would lose the sobriety I have kept for so long. It's easy to give in to desires. It's harder to maintain discipline, and that is what I am doing by remaining sober.

Today also marks 1 month since I stopped eating sugar and sweets!! Breaking my sugar addiction was much harder than quitting drinking, which makes sense... Most people know that, in laboratory studies, rats will choose cocaine over food and eventually die from starvation. Less people are aware that, when rats are given the choice between cocaine and sugar water, 94% of the time the rats will choose sugar water instead of cocaine--this includes rats who were already addicted to cocaine! Sugar not only tastes good, it creates dependence within the brain. It is, quite possibly, the most addictive wide-spread and socially acceptable substance. I am so happy to finally be free of it. It has been many years since I loved myself the way I do now. I am healthy, happy, and constantly improving.  :)

Someone recently asked me if I was still sober

I appreciate that people care and are concerned for me. Yes! I have three years sobriety for alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy sex.

Alcohol. My biggest triggers were Las Vegas and bad relationships. Once I quit stripping in Vegas (choosing to work in small towns instead), I broke the habit of drinking at work. At the time I decided to get sober, I also left an unhealthy relationship. This was eye-opening and it was a long time before I felt ready to commit again. While I miss drinking the occasional SweetWater Blue, for the most part not drinking is easy. No triggers = no desire.

Sometimes I miss weed. It's true. I have the opportunity often, yet always turn it down. Having ADD, weed gave me tons of energy. After I quit smoking, I immediately gained 10 pounds that I haven't been able to lose since.  *sigh*  Also, marijuana enhanced my sexual pleasure so much that I could even orgasm from giving head. I miss that! On the bright side, I am always sober and alert. I do not need to self-medicate and I remember much more.

This year at Burning Man I met a gorgeous man. It is rare that I look at a man and think "WOW!" So rare, in fact, that I can remember each one throughout my lifetime. This guy was that quality of eye candy! I've never had sex at Burning Man, and it had been awhile since I'd gotten laid in my personal life. But -- I am successfully reformed! No OMGHSH sex, no Craigslist sex, no sex without commitment. I did take lots of pictures of him, though.. ;)

(picture of me taken by a fellow Burner)

Now that I am no longer stripping, I work full-time cooking and cleaning for the man in my life. Whoever said "You can't turn a whore into a housewife" was wrong.  :-p  Ok, so I wasn't a whore, but close enough in most people's eyes.

My life is simple and drama-free. Nobody causes me stress (those who had were phased out long ago). I am healthy, sober, and happy. Everyday I am grateful.

Celebrate your freedom

      Today in the United States; we celebrate our nation's independence. Why not take a moment to celebrate your independence as well? Whether you've found freedom from an addiction or from codependency, or you've discovered the freedom to live your life as fully as possible, take a moment to honor and acknowledge how much that freedom means to you. It's good to identify our problems. Through the awareness of what's wrong and what's broken, we learn what to repair and fix. It's good to focus on the health and the goodness in our lives, too. Becoming aware of what's right and what's working is how we discover joy. Look back along the winding road of the path of your life. See how far you've come? It looks good to me. How does it look to you? Hurray! We're finally free! God, thank You for setting me free.
(Taken from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie)

Today isn't just a National holiday; for me, it is also a personal holiday. Three years ago I left an unhealthy relationship. At the time he didn't realize the significance of my leaving on Independence Day--but I did. The month after leaving him I got sober and have been ever since. I "fixed" my life and unchained myself from addiction to drugs, alcohol, and sex. I am happily free.

Happy Independence Day!

Sober over 2 years

From working as a Vegas stripper, I could out-drink 4 big men in a row. My party days were intense. Seriously. I was drinking 30-40 shots of Patron per night (yes, alcohol poisoning several times per week). In addition to that, I was also smoking 6 ounces of weed per month. During my extreme low I even took Valium, Xanax, and snorted powder.. Yeah, I was a party girl.

Then I decided to change my life.


Really. It was that simple. I quit....and I haven't been tempted to lapse.
I enjoy sober life (Mocktails and all!).

It is amazing how many of my dreams have come true since. During this time I took classes and passed certification exams for A+, Networking+, and Security+! In addition, I've taken numerous trips outside the US including: Costa Rica, Panama, Spain, France, Italy, Austria, Slovenia, Czech Republic, Germany, and Switzerland. It's been a full-on self-improvement journey--taking care of myself in every way. Truly happy.       :)       :)



Life is getting better and better all the time!! :)

Today is a day for love and lovers.

Luckily, I love myself! ;)

Today marks 1.5 years alcohol-free. Woo hoo!



And for those of us with a sick sense of humor:


Happy Valentine's Day!!

No more alcohol for Trixie!

I am going to stop drinking.