This Year's Lent Sacrifices

After much consideration, I will be giving up: cursing, hitting the snooze button, cold sugary coffee drinks, and tres leches. Here's why:

• I don't curse much, but any cursing is more than I want. 
• The snooze button is important. My life doesn't have many hard deadlines; at the same time, I am most productive in the mornings and hitting snooze is counterproductive. 
• The sugary coffee drinks are a new part of my routine. This a very bad habit for calories and sugar intake--so I need to put an end to them.
• Tres leches is another indulgence which I must give up in order to break my sugar addiction by the end of Lent.

Masturbation was suggested for me this year, too. In past years, I have included it.
However, since I rarely masturbate these days, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice now.
For my goals, Lent sacrifices need to be challenging and provide a long-term benefit.

In addition to sacrifices, I pledge to exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes each and every day. This is more than I currently do on the average day. While I wish I could commit to more, it's not worth taking time away from school. I'm not fat so good grades trump my exercise time budget.  ;)

I will also have penalties for non-compliance. $1 per curse word, $1 per each time I hit snooze, $10 per sugary coffee, $20 for tres leches, and $5 for missing an exercise day.

Lent is technically 46 days with 6 cheat days. I do a straight 40 days because I want the long-term benefit. This year it'll be Feb 18 to April 2. For me, Lent is about change and self-improvement.

Happy Easter/Celebrity Zombie Day

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Lent's over, how did I do?
Cursing: While I wasn't able to quit, I made a dramatic reduction. Honestly, I had no idea my mouth was so foul. *sigh* Quitting cold turkey is asking too much. This was still a good exercise, though, and I am going to continue monitoring my cursing so hopefully by next year bad words won't just "slip out" unintended.

Masturbation: It was tough at first, especially since I was reading erotica and participating in adult chats. When I quit doing those things, it became much easier. I will admit to having a similar lapse in judgement a few more times; however, I successfully made it through by choosing not to masturbate.

Now excuse me while I play catch up... ;)

Masturbating Lent

My masturbation has spiraled out of control again. While I haven't been having unhealthy sex (over two years SA clean), this is such a slippery slope it must be addressed.
Some days I masturbate all day long, with naps mixed in. On "slow" days when I forgo during the day, I am unable to sleep at night until I get up, search the internet, and then take care of myself with a toy.

Luckily, I have an external excuse which can help me.
It is that time of the year again: Lent!

Start of Lent 2012 (Ash Wednesday) - Wednesday 22 February 2012.
End of Lent 2012 (Holy Saturday) - Saturday 7 April 2012

Last year was the first time I've ever given something up for Lent--and I made it 39 days without masturbating!   :)

I really love kittens, so this year I expect to make it all 40 days. I'm also going to try to quit cursing. Wish me luck!!

Meant to be single?

When I find a man I like enough to date, I can be very flirty and aggressive. Some men are suspicious and worry when it doesn't take a lot of work to win a woman over that she must not be worthy of being with. Either that, or they have such low self-esteem that they can't believe a beautiful woman truly likes them for them. Very strange. Luckily, since I don't want to be with a man so suspicious or with low-self esteem, my aggressive style helps to weed them out. :)

I am me, upfront, honest, and go after what I want in life. If a man doesn't have these same qualities, we probably won't be compatible. I certainly don't want to waste my time on someone who isn't totally into me. Why is it that people generally want to have to fight to win their partners? The way I look at it...if I have to convince someone to like me, we are not meant to be--and I move on.

Often I wonder if I am meant to be single. I'm not anti-relationship; I am picky. Trying to date is often too much drama and I hate drama. If I'm going to spend my time with someone, he needs to be worth it for me. I am not one of those women who hops into one relationship right after the last. During the past 10 years, I have been single for five, in serious relationships for four, and in an open relationship for one.

If my fuck buddy were local, I doubt I would try to date at all. While I don't mind being alone, my 10-speed purple vibrator gets old...

Karebears

April 20th is a day that stoners across the world celebrate because 420 is the "code word" for smoking marijuana. Even when I still smoked weed, 4/20 was a day that I took off from smoking. For me, it doesn't symbolize pot--today is the anniversary of when my little sister died.

While I have always been bright, she was much smarter than me. A true genius and very charismatic. When she was sixteen years old, she was the top telemarketer for a major company and earned $40,000/year working part-time. She started the GLBT student union at her high school. She went to the national finals for her school's mock attorney debate team. She had a 4.0. She was a stock broker at 21. Her accomplishments are too numerous for me to list.

We were rivals from birth. As we grew up, I playfully referred to her as "the bad sister" and she called me "mweanie" in return. I loved her dearly but, due to the competitive nature of our relationship, I could never express it. That is one of the few regrets in my life.



I knew when my 40 days of Lent started that today would be the big challenge. *sigh* Tomorrow would've been the last day, and today I masturbated twice. Doh! Was it because I am stressed with grief? Or because I went on a date yesterday and didn't even get a kiss? 39 days is still damn good, though, so I'm not too disappointed with myself. Next year I will do this again. :)

Lent cleansing

Not only am I not a Christian, I don't believe that Jesus Christ ever existed. So why am I posting about Lent? Lent is a time for spiritual cleansing--which is beneficial no matter what your faith (or lack of).

From Wikipedia: There are traditionally forty days in Lent which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities, and by other acts of penance. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour). Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations.

What will I do different during Lent?
Lent started this year on March 9; I just heard about it so I am starting today. Daily chanting of my mantra and meditation will be a priority. For the fasting aspect, I am giving up masturbation, soda, and cake. In addition, each day I will do at least one activity to selflessly help others.

As I follow this rule I find that I am letting go of old mortal beliefs and the Divine within is flaming higher and higher. Its pure white light is infusing all my surroundings with a delightful spirit of wisdom, dignity, and peace. I realize more and more the law or righteous thinking that is bringing me into a consciousness of my perfect dominion.

My 40th day will be April 21st.

Stifled Voyeur

There is a lady at work who has such a sweet behind that I always catch myself staring at it. In the conservative world this behavior is not okay so I totally have to fight my urges to ogle.

In the adult world I could walk up to her and say:

"Wow! You have an amazing ass!"

And, instead of being sued, slapped, or fired, she would respond back with, "Ahh, thank you sweetie! I love your breasts!"

From there, we may exchange numbers for a later play date. *REMINDER* "I only have casual sex with women"

Over the years a few of my friends have even performed private masturbation shows just for me using their webcams. YEAH BABY! Whether I'm turning around to watch a man's face as I grind on his lap during a dance, surfing porn, or watching a XXX show, being able to see the sexual pleasure of others is really a turn on for me. The closer, the better.

While I love my new job....there are many things I miss about adult. The mainstream world isn't the same.