The Men I've Loved

This year I am in a relationship...so, rather than writing an annual revamp of the "My Ideal Partner" list, I am sharing the diversity of men who previously captured my heart.




The Pool Boy - We had chemistry from the very first time we saw each other. I called you "Michelangelo's David" because you are physically perfect--just like the statue. Seriously, you are one of the most attractive men I've ever seen (and I've met Pierce Brosnan)! You called me "Ruby Tuesday." My wild side scared you and your irresponsibility scared me. We no longer talk.

The Millionaire - Our romance was straight out of a stripper fairytale. Flights, limos, day spas, 5-star hotels, lots of sex, intense partying. Sadly you died young; I've never gotten over that.

The Best Friend - Dating my best friend was ideal. Nobody else ever made me so happy. You loved me, cared for me, helped me grow, and encouraged me to follow my dreams. I did the same for you. You knew me better than anyone. We were healthy. A series of unfortunate events lead to our break-up.

The Stalker - You started by being my friend. When things weren't progressing fast enough, you tricked me into believing I was being harassed by an ex-boyfriend. I am ashamed to admit that I fell for it and ran straight to your arms for safety and comfort. Funny thing is, had you not done that, I would've been dating you within a few months anyway because I truly liked you. You were brilliant, funny, and awesome in bed. Once I discovered that it was actually you (and not the ex) who was terrorizing me, we were through.

The Biker - Ahhh, the man responsible for setting my libido for life! Most people find you too scary and wild, but that's not who you were with me. I ground you. You are still the same man--but I grew out of the "bad boy" phase. We've remained friends.

The Vampire - This is a weird one: I had a dream about you when I was twelve! Since I believe everything happens for a reason, when I saw you in real life I pursued you. It was important for me to understand why you were in my dream so many years earlier. You got lucky. If it wasn't for that dream, you would've been a couple night stand at best.

The Porno King - You've always treated me like a princess, even to this day. I have so much respect for you. In a different time we could've been an unstoppable couple. However, we had the time we had. It's amazing how similar we were. Thank you for our continued friendship and sharing yourself with me.


Like a typical Sagittarius, my life has been a collection of experiences. Love and lovers are no exception...and I've learned from them all.

Water-fuel car unveiled in Japan

What ever happened to this? Did the oil companies threaten or bribe enough for it to go away? :(



I want one!

Every man I like is different

Most people have a set "type" of person who they are attracted to. That doesn't apply to me. Every man I've been with is completely different than every other. With one exception--and he was a combination of everyone I had dated (weird, right?). I like variety.

Since I started attending adult entertainment conventions, I've been physical with only a few men in the industry.

Richard Young - He and I seriously dated for awhile. Not casual at all.

Roy Karch - We have always been good friends and dated briefly.

Jason Quinlan - Since 2005, Jay has been my default go-to guy whenever I've been single. We've never dated and there's no drama; we are fuck buddies--nothing more. Pretty impressive in the sack and always makes me squirt. If you have ever wondered why he gets so much pussy, he DESERVES IT!

someone else who shall remain nameless - I was horny, Jay was unavailable, this man was in town. A random industry hookup--not something I do.

Despite working as a stripper for years, I can be shy when it comes to my personal life. Most of the men I've had mini-crushes on never knew:
(A couple are taken. A few are missed opportunities. Some still make me wonder...)
Huda Mahdi - Absolute gentleman. He is awesome; the type of man one hopes to marry. Of course he lives half a world away and already has an incredibly gorgeous girlfriend. She is a lucky lucky girl.

Mackenzie McAleer - Handsome, intelligent, ex-pat with a zest for life. HOT!

Brad Mitchell - LOL, Brad. Totally the kind of geek I would date. He's been on my Yes list for a long time but, since he's married, I've kept my distance.

Vid Vicious - I have so much respect for this man. One of the few exceptions to my "no casual sex" rule...I would do Vid. Always a complete gentleman.

Charles Michael - We have been flirting for years. He's smart, cute, funny, and a gentleman. I could seriously date him. Too bad he lives in cold Canada.

Kevin Blatt - We have tons in common and mutual interests. With all the hours we used to chat on the phone, yeah, I'm curious...

Halcyon - Back in the day I would've jumped at the opportunity for a threeway with Tassy and Halcyon but never got the chance.

Lance Harrell - Total cutie! We are into a lot of the same things sexually. Unfortunately, we know each other too well to date or play. *sigh*

Dave Urban - So gorgeous that I can barely speak in his presence.

Marc Womack - Had I been single, I probably would've offered up a threeway with him and Shey. He just oozes "good in bed"; so does she.

Christopher Keller and Mike Tompkins - Both are too young for me to pursue, but in masturbation land they are my boy toys.


Do I stay single because of shyness? Not at all. I enjoy being single.
For me to get in a relationship, that person has to be someone I like "as-is".

If I have to change someone, then it won't work (for either of us).
This is why I like to know someone well before we move forward.


It isn't fun being surprised with incompatibilities after it's too late. That said, even the majority of the men on my crush list are not men whom I would actually date.

No Wet Dream For Me

I have wet dreams several times per month. The sex is always awesome, perfect in every way, totally intense, and I orgasm in real life at the end. Usually I wake up mid-orgasm so that I can milk out every last pulse.

My dream sex world is always anonymous. I've never seen, met, or dreampt about the person before. Maybe this is one of the neccessary factors to add to my excitement.

Last night I was talking to a friend on the phone and he suggested I dream about him. I told him that I always have sexual dreams and never with anyone I know. Jokingly (or not) he suggested I could dream about him having sex with another guy. Now, I do like to watch that so I said "maybe". Just like guys like to watch two women go at it, I feel the same way about men. About all people in general. While I am an exhibitionist, I'm probably even more of a voyeur and love watching any kind of sex related to consenting adults.

So, last night I dreampt about someone I know. No, it wasn't the guy I spoke to last night on the phone. Dreaming about someone you know in a sexual way isn't the same. It loses that oomph somehow.

On to my dream... It was very stimulating. We were fooling around and maybe 5 minutes away from fucking when I got "caught". That's right, another friend walked in. The first guy was still half clothed; I was naked and hiding behind a shower curtain. With how much I despise water, I find it ironic we were fooling around in the bathroom.

Anyway, in my dream it became uncomfortable. I wasn't sure if the second guy was trying to save me from cheating or if he wanted to jump in. Either way, it changed the dynamics of my dream. I no longer felt comfortable moving forward. No hot sex, no orgasm. I woke up much more sexually frustrated than normal.

To the friend who suggested I dream about him: this is all your fault!! I've never been "busted" in my dreams before and I'm sure it was because I knew the person. You probably won't accept the blame because it wasn't you in my dream, but I have NEVER dreampt about anyone I've known before. This happened because of your suggestion and you need to find me a hot bisexual girlfriend for casual sex to make this up!

To the guy who was in my dream: if we're meant to have hot dream sex, I'm sure I'll dream about you again. I'm much more sexually frustrated now than I was yesterday, so tonight's dream better make up for that (with or without you).

To the friend who interrupted, I'm not sure what to think.....

Anonymous dream sex is easier..