It is only with the heart that one can see rightly....

Today's thought from Hazelden is: 

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly...." --Antoine de Saint Exupery 

If we look at the world through suspicious or angry eyes, we'll find a world that mirrors our expectations -- a world where tension will mount, arguments will abound, strife will be present where none need be. However, our experiences in some manner bless us, and we'll recognize that if we look upon them with gratitude. Everything in our path is meant for our good and we'll see the good when our hearts act as the eyes for our minds. When we see with our hearts, our responses to the turmoil around us, the fighting children, the traffic snarls, the angry lovers, will be soft acceptance. When our hearts guide the action we can accept those things we cannot change, and change those we can. And the heart, as the seat of all wisdom, will always know the difference. 


You are reading from the book: Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Thanksgiving is a day which should remind us how to be every other day.

During previous Thanksgivings, I've had to really think about what I should be grateful for (!!). Thankfully, I expanded my focus to see abundance all around and am now grateful everyday--for what I had, what I currently have, and what my future will bring. This year I'm even lucky enough to be spending the holiday with family creating happy memories-to-be. YEA!!


  "The one person I am with forever is me. My relationship with myself eternal, so I choose to be my own best friend. I choose to love and accept myself and talk to myself as I would to a beloved person in my life. I saturate all the cells in my body with love, and they become vibrantly healthy. I relate with love to all of life."  -- Louise L. Hay

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2013...and every other day too!

~ This is the way to live. ~

Someone recently asked me if I was still sober

I appreciate that people care and are concerned for me. Yes! I have three years sobriety for alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy sex.

Alcohol. My biggest triggers were Las Vegas and bad relationships. Once I quit stripping in Vegas (choosing to work in small towns instead), I broke the habit of drinking at work. At the time I decided to get sober, I also left an unhealthy relationship. This was eye-opening and it was a long time before I felt ready to commit again. While I miss drinking the occasional SweetWater Blue, for the most part not drinking is easy. No triggers = no desire.

Sometimes I miss weed. It's true. I have the opportunity often, yet always turn it down. Having ADD, weed gave me tons of energy. After I quit smoking, I immediately gained 10 pounds that I haven't been able to lose since.  *sigh*  Also, marijuana enhanced my sexual pleasure so much that I could even orgasm from giving head. I miss that! On the bright side, I am always sober and alert. I do not need to self-medicate and I remember much more.

This year at Burning Man I met a gorgeous man. It is rare that I look at a man and think "WOW!" So rare, in fact, that I can remember each one throughout my lifetime. This guy was that quality of eye candy! I've never had sex at Burning Man, and it had been awhile since I'd gotten laid in my personal life. But -- I am successfully reformed! No OMGHSH sex, no Craigslist sex, no sex without commitment. I did take lots of pictures of him, though.. ;)

(picture of me taken by a fellow Burner)

Now that I am no longer stripping, I work full-time cooking and cleaning for the man in my life. Whoever said "You can't turn a whore into a housewife" was wrong.  :-p  Ok, so I wasn't a whore, but close enough in most people's eyes.

My life is simple and drama-free. Nobody causes me stress (those who had were phased out long ago). I am healthy, sober, and happy. Everyday I am grateful.

Don't forget these moms on Mothers Day

Mothers Day comes only once per year. Even if you rarely communicate with your mom, you should go out of your way to make her feel special today. And, after you have, other "forgotten" moms deserve recognition too:

(1) Single dads. Yes, they are both the mother and the father of the children they raise.

(2) Widowers who lost the mother of their children, and children/adults who've lost their mother. Share a happy memory you have of her with the survivors and offer a hug.

(3) Any woman whose child passed away (either as a child or as an adult) especially needs to be acknowledged. Trust me, she hasn't forgotten giving birth nor her parenting memories. A lot of people are afraid that saying something may make her depressed. In reality, not saying anything will cause the greatest saddest and make her feel as if nobody remembers.

Make more than just your mom feel loved today. Happy Mother's Day!

Grandparents sometimes make the best mentors

My grandmother passed away today. She was 88 and my favorite family member. Such a feisty lady! Despite making an emergency trip to see her before she died, I did not make it in time. *cry*   I will be there for her funeral. This also allows me extra time to spend with my other family members whom I don't see often enough. My grandma was such a remarkable lady, and I feel blessed for all the time I've spent with her. She has been an inspiration for me. I love you grandma.

How many sex partners have you had?

Maybe it's natural curiosity to want to know.. I don't know. I've NEVER asked a sex partner how many there were before me. Why? It's none of my business!! Nor will I answer that question for anyone else.

Guys are so silly. Most of them want a girl who has only had sex with a few men. Because of this, the average woman will lie and say 3-7. Yet how quickly did she sleep with you? Some men believe that a woman should have sex with them within three dates. First of all, I completely disagree with this and usually hold off for months when I want to pursue a relationship with a man. Second, any guy who believes that a woman who slept with him so early has only had a few sex partners is lying to himself.

Get the numbers. A woman is 30. She claims she lost her virginity at 17 and that she has only had 4 partners. Most of her relationships have lasted 3 years. Hmmmm. 13 years divided by 3 equals 4.333. This is plausible enough for you to believe her. Now--really think about it. How long did she wait before having sex with you? Do you believe that every single guy she fucked was a good guy and serious about a relationship? Does she ever go out and party? Did she? Does she have any "bad girl" girlfriends?



Instead of caring how many sex partners your girlfriend had before you, all that you should care about is who she is fucking now. Is it only you? Do you care if she has sex with other people? Is she disease-free? If you both agree to the sexual terms of your relationship, nothing else should matter.

NEVER ASK QUESTIONS WHEN YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO ACCEPT ANY ANSWER. Women: this goes for you too. Don't look down on a guy because he admits to having hired hookers. Most men have. Get over it. You should be grateful for his honesty. People are not born great lovers; it takes time and experimentation.

If your partner is good in bed without needing additional "training", consider yourself lucky and don't stress!

Lent cleansing

Not only am I not a Christian, I don't believe that Jesus Christ ever existed. So why am I posting about Lent? Lent is a time for spiritual cleansing--which is beneficial no matter what your faith (or lack of).

From Wikipedia: There are traditionally forty days in Lent which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities, and by other acts of penance. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour). Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations.

What will I do different during Lent?
Lent started this year on March 9; I just heard about it so I am starting today. Daily chanting of my mantra and meditation will be a priority. For the fasting aspect, I am giving up masturbation, soda, and cake. In addition, each day I will do at least one activity to selflessly help others.

As I follow this rule I find that I am letting go of old mortal beliefs and the Divine within is flaming higher and higher. Its pure white light is infusing all my surroundings with a delightful spirit of wisdom, dignity, and peace. I realize more and more the law or righteous thinking that is bringing me into a consciousness of my perfect dominion.

My 40th day will be April 21st.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I celebrated my second Thanksgiving. The first was nontraditional: clams, salmon, lamb... Today's was turkey, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, ... YUMMY!

As I look back on my life, I have risen, fallen, and risen again. I am so grateful to have real friends who helped pull me through when I was unable to do for myself.

Here is a snapshot of my past few Novembers:
One year ago: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html
Two years ago: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html
Three years ago: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2007_11_01_archive.html

Thank you to all my friends and family for being part of my life. I am grateful to all of you. Most importantly, thank you to the universe for always providing what is needed at the time. Now I am pursuing my dreams without limit. Even when my goals seem unrealistic, I get it done. I am confident, strong, and can accomplish anything. Ask anyone who knows me! I am happy to be a part of this world.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gratitude. Thanksgiving is more than just "Turkey Day"; it is a day to be thankful for what we have. Even when things aren't ideal in your life, they can always be worse. Instead of focusing on the bad, be grateful for everything that is RIGHT.