Sex on the side

Just because someone is married, does that mean he or she should never have sex with anyone else again? Many would say yes, but I disagree. Marriage should be a beautiful symbiotic arrangement--not a prison sentence.



Men with young kids at home should strive to be the best dad possible by staying married and always keeping peace at home. Families require stability. Unless their wives are extremely open-minded, this means they are limited to a lifetime of monogamy or secret affairs.

For a married man to have a successful secret affair:
(1) He needs to have a job with varying hours. This allows plenty of time for a mistress without arousing suspicion.

(2) His mistress has to understand that he's married and be quiet when his wife calls. A husband not answering calls or refusing to talk is just plain dumb.

(3) He needs to only have safe sex or make sure that he and anyone he's having sex with has been tested for STDs.

(4) Never bring the mistress back to the family home. A wife would consider this the ultimate betrayal.

(5) Make sure the relationship is mutually beneficial. No drama--only fantasies, romance, and fun. The wife is the one he lives his daily life with. His mistress is his "secret get-a-way from reality" and he should spoil her generously.

(6) Hiring a professional call girl is the safest route. Wives often desire revenge against husbands who have other "relationships" on the side. Whereas, should he ever get caught, the wife is much more likely to forgive him for hiring a hooker.

Sometimes having extramarital affairs can enrich your marriage. Seriously. They remind you why you love your partner so much, and, by experiencing another, you can show that renewed sense of love when you get back home. The key here is to do it without risking your current relationship and lifestyle. This can be tricky.

Personally, I am polyamorous and am honest when I feel the need to go elsewhere. I also understand if a partner feels the need for variety. Nobody owns me and I don't own anyone else. Sadly, few people are able to be that honest within their marriages without their partner freaking out. :(

Betrayal

Betrayal creates drama and I won't tolerate drama.

"Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship."

How do you react when someone you love betrays you? That depends on your self-esteem and stability. The right thing to do is walk away--even when it hurts.

People don't betray those whom they love. If someone betrays you, he doesn't care as much as you might want or hope for him to. This is true! Pay attention to actions as they are always more revealing than words.

What a revelation it is when you realize someone is not who you thought they were. When all the confidence you've given that person was in vain, you question your past and future ability to judge others worthy of your trust.. This causes grief while making you feel sad, ashamed, mad, and afraid. A rainbow of pastel emotions.

Unfortunately, someone I love dearly betrayed me: the one person I trusted more than anyone else in life. This came as a huge shock and slap in the face. When given the opportunity, he admitted fault but refused to fix it. So even though it hurt, I ceased contact.



My spiritual adviser, coincidently without me even telling her what happened, could sense I was unhappy and sent me this:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

Strippers use stage names for a reason: to protect their personal lives.

Someone asks me "Do you know Candy? Her real name is Tina." Assuming I didn't already know Candy's real name, this stranger just told me without giving it a second thought. It happens all the time. People like this are untrustworthy and don't respect other people's privacy.

Many strippers have 3 names--their stage name, their "real name" (also fake), and their REAL name. Refrain from asking a stripper her real name; it puts her on the spot and increases the odds of her telling you her "real name" to avoid hurting your feelings or losing you as a customer.

By waiting until she volunteers to tell you, you are showing her respect and may actually earn her REAL name. If a stripper gives a name other than her stage name, appreciate that she felt comfortable/safe enough with you to share and don't betray her confidence. If she never volunteers, don't take it personally. Strippers use stage names for a reason: to protect their personal lives.

Here is an extreme example of what not to do:

Looking in the Past - m4w - 52 (central mass)
Date: 2009-10-17, 5:09PM EDT
Reply to: pers-5uddm-1425991978@craigslist.org

I have tried this once before and of course I got a bunch of spammers so unless you do have some real info, fuck off. I am only interested in information about a Russian Exotic Dancer who worked at the Foxy Lady in Providence R.I. a couple of years ago, I know its a long shot but I have no other way of finding out what happened to her. Stage name was Layla, her real name was Alicia, she lived in South Boston and then as far as I know she moved to Walpole and quit dancing, went back to school (good for her) and had future plans of opening a tea shop in Boston, one of her good friends was another dancer named Tonia who lived in Bridgewater Mass. Alicia (Layla) was a tall beautiful woman with long dark hair, of course a beautiful body, I am just trying to find out some info about her, so if someone sees this add, let me know.

Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/mis/1425991978.html

DON'T EVER DO THIS!!! If someone tells you a something personal/private you should not share that information with anyone else. Period! Even if you suspect that person tells everyone their secrets, when you are told something in confidence you should always be honourable and not tell anyone else.


(Leaving for yoga class now.. hehe....)

Worst Sin

Usually betrayal is where you believe someone is one way yet later find out they were lying, "wearing a mask" for you, or have multiple personalities.

That is why I love this video. Since I haven't seen the movie from which it was compiled, the words and images perfectly portray betrayal.




Someone I know once said that betrayal is the worst thing in the world. At the time I assumed he meant betrayal by another person and openly disagreed by saying "regretting not doing what you truly want to do" is the worst thing. We were both right. Betrayal is the worst.....yet betraying your true self is much worse than betrayal from another.

"You are such a bastard"

'The Bachelor': We're Just Not That Into You


After 50 roses, weeks of speculation, plenty of spoilers and even a conspiracy theory or two, the most! historic! finale! ever! of ABC's "The Bachelor" ended Monday with 32-year-old Seattle account executive and single dad Jason Mesnick slipping a ring on the finger of 25-year-old Dallas sales rep Melissa Rycroft in New Zealand. Cue the violins and ring up the wedding planners, right? Wrong. You see, that just wouldn't be dramatic (or "historic") enough. So a mere hour later (actually six weeks in real time), during the "After the Final Rose" special, viewers watched as Jason shocked his putative fiancée when he told her that, well, he just wasn't that into her. Instead, he said, he still had feelings for the show's runner-up, Molly Malaney, a 24-year-old department store buyer from Michigan.

"You are such a b*****d," Melissa responded, "you should know better than to do something like that," perhaps referring to the fact that Jason had been humiliated on national television during last season's "The Bachelorette", when DeAnna Pappas rejected him. As for the unsinkable Molly, "This is something I dreamt of, but never expected to hear. I'm blown away right now," she told Jason. And then they proceeded to make out -- while millions of women across America immediately revised their feelings for the supposedly most likable Bachelor in series history.

Here's just a small sampling of what fans had to say in Television Without Pity's forums immediately following the three-hour finale. Jason, pray that your adorable little son Ty doesn't know how to use the Internet, because there's plenty more where this came from:

"Molly, you’re next. I give it a few months before he just has to follow his heart again (a.k.a. dump you)." – goddessrin

"It was all appalling on some level--was it necessary to do all this on the air--but I actually groaned, 'Oh, Molly,' when she started making out with him. Bad enough the way the whole thing played out, but to start with the face-sucking at that point?" – Kmax

"Melissa showed a lot of class." – 007Girl

"That was the biggest vat of Velveeta I've ever seen." – TooMuchFreeTime

"Am I the only one thinking that was totally fake? I had friends arguing with me on how real it is." – Laurie4H

"Jason is such a pig. Changing your heart is one thing, doing it on national television is another. AND hooking up with a girl within an hour of dumping your fiancée . UGH. I wish him much unhappiness." – Wrong Heaven

"I have never thought this before about her, but tonight I realized Molly is an actress. Her confused look when Jason told her he wants her back and everything after that was right out of a soap opera." – Carus

"I thought Melissa handled the whole thing great. She kept her dignity while also expressing what a bastard Jason is." – agockows

"Jason had every right to change his mind, but breaking it off in front of the cameras is a new low. Molly, congrats, honey. You 'won.' I think it'll become really clear really soon just what a 'prize' he isn't." – Mamabisi

"Molly is just a poor example of what unfortunately many girls have become these days. A boy does all the wrong things to someone else but maybe I can change him so I'm going to take him back because hey, I'M MOLLY and no guy walks away from me. Well, he did walk away from you and who's to say in six weeks he won't be backing up to call Jillian?" – nymetsgirl22

"Jason's 15 minutes for me expired about two hours ago. He's a loser. Molly's a fool for agreeing to anything other than a cup of coffee for old time's sake. There's no future in that relationship because, really, the guy can't tell the truth unless it's dragged out of him and that will destroy any relationship he's in." – becca656

"And total ewwwwwww when they started making out at the end. Yeah, Melissa's body wasn't even cold yet and they were pawing each other." – weezer95

"Jason, you have seriously underestimated how people will react to what you did just now but I suspect you'll find out quickly enough. Good luck, Molly! Oh, one other thing - consider this: Melissa will move on and find a decent guy who will treat her right. Meanwhile, every time you and Jason have problems or get into a fight, you'll be left wondering if his silence means he's thinking about how he made a mistake with you and regretting letting Melissa go." – The Closer

"As the single mom of 2 girls, who is getting back into dating after a divorce, it makes me SICK that he would bring Melissa into Ty's life for 6 weeks, including holidays, and then yank her out and bring Molly in. He didn't mention Ty ONCE tonight." – brgrayduck

"Jason needs therapy before he commits to anyone else. He's clearly very needy and confused, and should probably not be getting engaged to anyone at this point. I think he has maturity issues too." – DebbieM

Jason is such a jerk. How could he immediately go from breaking off his engagement with Melissa to kissing Molly mere minutes after? And no tears for Melissa, the woman he was just engaged to, while he had this huge emotional reaction after he rejected Molly?" – Coco79

"I honestly could not believe my eyes, watching that circus. I mean...do people have NO shame? To have these kinds of personal things televised? What have we come to? On the one hand, great drama to watch...on the other, I feel dirty for even participating." – PetuniaP

"I hope Jason's ex-wife is out hiring a lawyer to try to get full custody of Ty." – Whataconcept

"Wow, that was good television. I was genuinely surprised. I had the same freeze frame, deer in headlights look that Molly had." -- TrebledTimes

Source: http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/the-bachelor-were-just-not-that-into-you--159