Morphing from selfish to selfless

Selfishness is common. Many people won't help others unless they get a direct benefit. Even a large percentage of those who believe they are different will often still tell people about their good deeds (and, thereby, receive recognition). It took me a long time to understand that this is an extension of selfishness under a selfless pretense.


(Watching this video brings tears to my eyes.)


 True selflessness is helping other people just because, not bragging about it, and not expecting anything in return except the opportunity to help another. Living life this way is extremely rewarding. While is true that there are some people who will take advantage of another's generosity, there are also people for whom your generosity might change that person's life for the better. What an incredible opportunity! Something that is small to you might be significant for someone else.

The next time you see someone who needs help, help! Random acts of kindness restore faith in humanity. Start by committing to one random act of kindness per week. When you are ready, build up to at least once per day. I derive more joy from helping others than I get from whatever else I could be doing with that time or money. That might sound crazy to someone who is new to to this concept. This lifestyle is addictive--in a good way! Now get out there and make a difference!

Have the money but no time? Or time but no money? No problem. Here are a few organizations whose overhead is so low that you can be assured your money or donated time goes to help those who need it instead of inflating corporate salaries:

• International Rescue Committee: http://www.rescue.org/how-you-can-help  (not religious)
• Cross International: http://www.crossinternational.org/projects   (Christian-based)
• GLIDE (Spiritual-based, makes a powerful impact in the San Francisco community)

Your New Body in 30 Days

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about our bodies. She retired a decade ago and misses her stripper figure. To help her get back in shape, I sent her this email:

This is the Body Pump workout that I do at home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhaKN8sAocI.

Keep in mind that it is easy to injure yourself with BodyPump. You must use proper form! This means always keep your wrists straight, never let your knees go pass your toes, in squat position all your weight should be on your heels (I lift my toes the whole time to be sure), and keep your chest "proud" throughout your workout. I recommend attending live classes because being in a group will help you get through when you want to stop (and you will want to stop early) and mirrors help with form. Start with only the bar for the first class. If you are not sore the next day, you were probably using incorrect form. If ever you feel like class was too easy (after the fact) or you don't get sore, it's time to up your weight with the minimum increment on each side. This class should always be challenging.

For cellulite, you should do body scrubs: http://www.essenceofmyinstincts.com/the-importance-of-a-good-scrub-body-brushing-and-exfoliation/. In addition, you need to drink a ton of water. Whatever your weight is, divide by half, and that is your minimum amount of required daily water. For example, I weigh 140, divided in half means I need a minimum of 70 ounces of water per day. If you want to lost weight, it's even more: http://www.slenderkitchen.com/how-to-calculate-how-much-water-you-should-drink-a-day/.

This is not easy. It may be the hardest you've ever worked on your body. But I guarantee that if you do an hour class 3 times per week, within a month your body will be changed. And, if you also add 2-3 spin classes per week during that same month, you will go from however you look now back to having a body you will be proud of.

I forgot to add: what you eat is extremely important! Seriously. You can't make a regular habit of eating fast food and have a ripped body. When you start tracking, you may be surprised at where your calories are coming from and which activities burn the most. There are several free programs which help you do this. For your smart phone, MyFitnessPal and LoseIt are the most popular. Enter in all your food, exercise, and weigh-ins. Chances are you'll lose weight from making smarter food choices.

Are you ready for your new body? Then take control of yourself and get it! It only takes 30 days to make an impressive change. This is what I do and it will work for you, too.  :)

The dos and don'ts of internet dating

When people decide to use the internet to find a potential partner, many don't know what to do. It's easier than you might think! Here is your short guide: 1) Have a detailed profile. One of the biggest mistakes men often make is not writing enough. There are a disproportionate amount of men on dating sites, so most women get bombarded with attention. Unless your profile says something to stand out and spark interest, most women won't waste their time responding. Also, have a positive tone to your profile; negative comments are a turn off. Writing a quality profile is an investment. 2) The goal is to meet in person, so upload at least one photo. This should go without saying, but sadly many people mess this up so I'll spell it out: THE PHOTO SHOULD BE OF YOU, representative of what you currently look like, and recent!! If someone chooses to meet you after seeing your pics, then your looks are good enough. :)   Using a non-accurate photo says you are dishonest, and most likely will cause your date to be dissapointed in your appearance. In the comment fields it is always good to list the month and year that each picture was taken. 3) Be honest. No matter who you are and what you're looking for, there is someone for everyone. Being honest is essential to finding the most compatible person for you. 4) Smile in your pictures. This is the #1 thing I look for. When a man doesn't smile in his photos, he doesn't seem like a happy person or fun to spend time with. Taking happy photos will bring you better luck. ** Six months ago I took pictures of a friend of mine for his online dating profile. Before that, he never smiled for photos which made him look grumpy/older in his pics. Needless to say, he got little response. A geeky smile--or any kind of unnatural smile--is always more inviting than a non-smile. :)  The way I took new smile pictures was to have my camera ready and I snapped photos whenever he laughed. It took a weekend to get a few good ones, but afterward he had much better dating luck and now has a girlfriend! 5) If you initiate contact with someone, write at least a couple paragraphs. I know, some people are rude and don't reply. However, you are looking for a new PARTNER here, so spend at least a couple minutes to show you're interested. Bring up something specific from their profile that makes you think the two of you will be compatible. Rule of thumb: your message should always be a minimum of 300 characters. Realistically, double the length of a text message or tweet. Sending anything shorter screams "You are not worthy of my time." 6) Reply to all messages that you receive. This one is sometimes tough, especially if you get a lot of messages. However, even a "Thank you for your message, but I am not interested" goes a long way. 7) For the men, always be a gentlemen! It seems few actually know what this means anymore (very sad). Here's a link to remind/teach you: http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41b_success.html Good luck! Everyone deserves to find that special someone who makes them happy.  :)

Random Acts of Kindness

Random acts of kindness make the world a better place. It doesn't take much. Make it your New Year's resolution to practice at least one random act of kindness per week. You will be a better person for it. So will those people you encounter. :)

My friend's son was killed

His name was Brandon Lee Evans and he was a really good kid. Here is the website for more information: www.justiceforbrandon.com

This letter was written by Christine, Brandon's mom:

My son was murdered in San Francisco Golden Gate Park on November 29, 2008. I have not given up on finding the person(s) who did this very cowardly act on my son. They took him from those who loved him at a very young age of barely 20 years old. Please do me a favor and send an email and/or letter by mail to the below information, to America's Most Wanted. In the letter please notate in your own words to please air this story on TV to help find Justice for Brandon Lee Evans and capture the people who did this. There is a $100,000. REWARD & a Hotel in San Francisco who has offered to pay for America's Most Wanted Hotel expenses if they do a story on Brandon. Please keep the letter simple, as I am sending this letter out to everyone I can in hopes that everyone will at least...send to 10 people, and request that they too request that they have their people send to at least 10 more. My goal is to send as many letters to America's Most Wanted in hopes that they will be flooded with letters and do a story on my son, Brandon Lee Evans. The way it works on how they choose a story is...randomly selected. In which, I believe the more popular a story is in the media...they will do it. I believe that with the help of this airing nationwide...we have a better chance of finding who did this forsaking act. Again, keep it simple...as a request to do the story and include the website his name, my name...Christine Evans and my contact information rewardforbrandon@gmail.com

I appreciate everyone who receives this to lend a helping hand to bringing Justice to Brandon and his family & friends.

With Sincere Appreciation,

Much Love....
Christine Evans

* * * * * * * * * *

For those of you who read my blog, please take 5 minutes of your time to quickly send America's Most Wanted a letter. The letter should be a request for America's Most Wanted to air this story on TV in order to help find Justice for Brandon Lee Evans and capture his killer(s). Think of it as your good deed for the day--it could really make a difference. Thank you.

Gregory Howell, Associate Producer
America's Most Wanted
E-mail: ghowell@amw.com

America’s Most Wanted
PO Box Crime TV
Washington DC 20016