Next week marks 7 years since I quit drinking

    It has been easy to stay quit.  I have not been attending AA. I do read self-help books. I was never an alcoholic. I decided one day to quit and I did. To give AA credit where credit is due, I did a 4-day crash course on the 12-steps. It was horribly intensive and taught me that I had a lot of deep negative emotions, that I wasn't perfect, and how to forgive. I also removed myself from the negative people and toxic situations. About 6 months after I quit, then the reality of everything I ignored when I drank was in my face. Wow. That was stressful. I realized that I did not like the person I had become. The second half of that first year I spent actively writing down goals and working on change to optimize my health and happiness.

Buy from Amazon

I have never read a self-help book for alcoholic...until now. Honestly I thought I didn't need it. However, recently I found a book that I would like to recommend for everyone who grew up in an alcoholic home. I did, and I had no idea that my childhood environment was responsible for so many of my adult problems. The book happens to be an out-of-print parenting book. Because of its parenting approach, I am able to get two perspectives out of it: myself as a child growing up in that environment and as the messed up adult. Buy it if you are ready to heal: The ACOA's Guide to Raising Healthy Children: A Parenting Handbook for the Adult Children of Alcoholics.


I know I haven't posted photos in a very long time...

So this was me back when I drank:

And this is now:

Happy birthday to all my Leo friends.

Unhappy birthday

My birthday wasn't pleasant. In fact, it was pretty sad because the reality of my failed relationship finally left the shock phase and entered the grieving stage. While around others, I put on a "happy face"...but whenever I was alone, I cried.

Your New Body in 30 Days

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about our bodies. She retired a decade ago and misses her stripper figure. To help her get back in shape, I sent her this email:

This is the Body Pump workout that I do at home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhaKN8sAocI.

Keep in mind that it is easy to injure yourself with BodyPump. You must use proper form! This means always keep your wrists straight, never let your knees go pass your toes, in squat position all your weight should be on your heels (I lift my toes the whole time to be sure), and keep your chest "proud" throughout your workout. I recommend attending live classes because being in a group will help you get through when you want to stop (and you will want to stop early) and mirrors help with form. Start with only the bar for the first class. If you are not sore the next day, you were probably using incorrect form. If ever you feel like class was too easy (after the fact) or you don't get sore, it's time to up your weight with the minimum increment on each side. This class should always be challenging.

For cellulite, you should do body scrubs: http://www.essenceofmyinstincts.com/the-importance-of-a-good-scrub-body-brushing-and-exfoliation/. In addition, you need to drink a ton of water. Whatever your weight is, divide by half, and that is your minimum amount of required daily water. For example, I weigh 140, divided in half means I need a minimum of 70 ounces of water per day. If you want to lost weight, it's even more: http://www.slenderkitchen.com/how-to-calculate-how-much-water-you-should-drink-a-day/.

This is not easy. It may be the hardest you've ever worked on your body. But I guarantee that if you do an hour class 3 times per week, within a month your body will be changed. And, if you also add 2-3 spin classes per week during that same month, you will go from however you look now back to having a body you will be proud of.

I forgot to add: what you eat is extremely important! Seriously. You can't make a regular habit of eating fast food and have a ripped body. When you start tracking, you may be surprised at where your calories are coming from and which activities burn the most. There are several free programs which help you do this. For your smart phone, MyFitnessPal and LoseIt are the most popular. Enter in all your food, exercise, and weigh-ins. Chances are you'll lose weight from making smarter food choices.

Are you ready for your new body? Then take control of yourself and get it! It only takes 30 days to make an impressive change. This is what I do and it will work for you, too.  :)

Cake For Breakfast

Parents often don't pay enough attention to what they say to their children. They make little comments which shape us forever. Like many children, I liked sugar a lot and would question my parents as to why I wasn't allowed to eat more of it. I clearly remember my parents saying, "You can eat cake for breakfast everyday when you're an adult."

During my adult life, my parents stopped by unannounced on a few occasions when I happened to be eating cake for breakfast. They didn't say anything. One time my dad actually joined me for a yummy slice of chocolate cake. Confirmation!

I'm writing this today as I feel sick from eating a few slices of lemon cake. Not thin slices, but 1/8 of a double-layered cake slices. One slice would be perfect, but people with addictive personalities (like me) have difficulty with moderation. For the most part, I've been very good over the past year at giving up cake. However, this was birthday cake...

 

It was a fun birthday. Earlier in the week a friend treated me to a massage. Then, on my birthday, my best friend flew out from California to celebrate with my man and I. :)  More people than ever contacted me to wish me a happy birthday. My entire inbox is full with messages and singing videos. Totally awesome.   :)

 

Juicing for health

A few of my close friends and I are all starting the "Reboot Your Life" juice fast. Different types of juicers juice differently, so for maximum yeild and nutritional count we got masticating juicers.

This is the same kind of juicer featured in the health documentaries: "Fat, Sick, And Nearly Dead", "The Gerson Miracle", and "Dying To Have Known".



We are doing a 10-day fast. Everyday we will consume a minimum of four 20oz juices plus 64oz of water. While we expect to lose weight, our real goal is to clean the junk out our bodies and increase our energy. Assuming we like the results, we may extend the fast to 30 days.

This is what each juice meal will consist of:
6 Kale Leaves
1 Cucumber
4 Celery Stalks
2 Green Apples
1/2 Lemon
1 tablespoon of ginger

Wish us luck!

The Men I've Loved

This year I am in a relationship...so, rather than writing an annual revamp of the "My Ideal Partner" list, I am sharing the diversity of men who previously captured my heart.




The Pool Boy - We had chemistry from the very first time we saw each other. I called you "Michelangelo's David" because you are physically perfect--just like the statue. Seriously, you are one of the most attractive men I've ever seen (and I've met Pierce Brosnan)! You called me "Ruby Tuesday." My wild side scared you and your irresponsibility scared me. We no longer talk.

The Millionaire - Our romance was straight out of a stripper fairytale. Flights, limos, day spas, 5-star hotels, lots of sex, intense partying. Sadly you died young; I've never gotten over that.

The Best Friend - Dating my best friend was ideal. Nobody else ever made me so happy. You loved me, cared for me, helped me grow, and encouraged me to follow my dreams. I did the same for you. You knew me better than anyone. We were healthy. A series of unfortunate events lead to our break-up.

The Stalker - You started by being my friend. When things weren't progressing fast enough, you tricked me into believing I was being harassed by an ex-boyfriend. I am ashamed to admit that I fell for it and ran straight to your arms for safety and comfort. Funny thing is, had you not done that, I would've been dating you within a few months anyway because I truly liked you. You were brilliant, funny, and awesome in bed. Once I discovered that it was actually you (and not the ex) who was terrorizing me, we were through.

The Biker - Ahhh, the man responsible for setting my libido for life! Most people find you too scary and wild, but that's not who you were with me. I ground you. You are still the same man--but I grew out of the "bad boy" phase. We've remained friends.

The Vampire - This is a weird one: I had a dream about you when I was twelve! Since I believe everything happens for a reason, when I saw you in real life I pursued you. It was important for me to understand why you were in my dream so many years earlier. You got lucky. If it wasn't for that dream, you would've been a couple night stand at best.

The Porno King - You've always treated me like a princess, even to this day. I have so much respect for you. In a different time we could've been an unstoppable couple. However, we had the time we had. It's amazing how similar we were. Thank you for our continued friendship and sharing yourself with me.


Like a typical Sagittarius, my life has been a collection of experiences. Love and lovers are no exception...and I've learned from them all.

Betrayal

Betrayal creates drama and I won't tolerate drama.

"Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship."

How do you react when someone you love betrays you? That depends on your self-esteem and stability. The right thing to do is walk away--even when it hurts.

People don't betray those whom they love. If someone betrays you, he doesn't care as much as you might want or hope for him to. This is true! Pay attention to actions as they are always more revealing than words.

What a revelation it is when you realize someone is not who you thought they were. When all the confidence you've given that person was in vain, you question your past and future ability to judge others worthy of your trust.. This causes grief while making you feel sad, ashamed, mad, and afraid. A rainbow of pastel emotions.

Unfortunately, someone I love dearly betrayed me: the one person I trusted more than anyone else in life. This came as a huge shock and slap in the face. When given the opportunity, he admitted fault but refused to fix it. So even though it hurt, I ceased contact.



My spiritual adviser, coincidently without me even telling her what happened, could sense I was unhappy and sent me this:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

I am ready to start dating again

Even before my first kiss, I read "Looking For Mr. Goodbar" and "Men in Love". Monogamy isn't natural so trust and honesty are key. The movie, "Chasing Amy", fits me and my life. I am grateful for all of my experiences and have few regrets.. In "The Banger Sisters", I am internally both women. "The Ethical Slut" is the handbook which best describes how I view relationships. Men who date me can never deal with the reality of who I was and am now. Lately, I have been seriously considering living as a lesbian.

In order to be anything other than just a fuck, I need to spend months getting to know the other person first. This is non-negotiable. My partner and I should be best friends. If we are best friends first AND have chemistry, everything else will be there.

I want a life partner; someone I can count on always.