My Poly Past

Most jealousy is a direct result of insecurities from a lack of intimate discussions, honesty, and respect. I am not jealous at all, nor would I date someone who is. When everyone is honest, respectful, and considerate of each other's' feelings, there is no place for jealousy. Re-read that last sentence, those three traits are mandatory.

Few people know that, back in 2004 and 2005, I was actively polyamorous. My Primary and I had been dating since 2001, but our sex life was close to non-existent. We were on the verge of breaking up over this. After much discussion, we mutually decided that--in order to save our relationship--I should take on a second boyfriend.

The man I chose to be my Second was a millionaire I knew from work. He didn't live in the same state, which made it even more perfect because there was no risk of other people knowing and that embarrassing either of them. I didn't date him for financial reasons; I truly liked him...a lot. Both men knew about the other. I was honest at all times.

The Second wanted me to leave my Primary and move in with him. He was one of the DotCom MegaMillionaires, yet I said "No" every time he asked. Friends thought I was nuts! There were three main reasons I didn't:

1. I believe in loyalty, and dumping one man for another is the opposite of loyalty. 
2. While we both enjoyed partying, he self-medicated to a scary extreme.
3. He had a vasectomy and I knew I wanted to be a mother someday.

In October 2005, my Second died. Coincidentally, I had said "I love you" to him for the first time less than 12 hours earlier. He was young, only 47, and such an incredibly good person. He was brilliant, yet still had his childish innocence. The world lost someone very unique and special with his death. I broke up with my Primary a week later.

My entire life I have considered myself poly, although this was the only time I have ever had two serious relationships which included sex. Generally the way my poly surfaces is with one serious monogamous relationship and then several friends whom I love--yet am not physical with--who satisfy emotional needs. Even when sex isn't involved, most people consider emotional attachments to others cheating. Granting and accepting permission to engage in multiple emotionally committed relationships (including love) are poly traits. Swinging is not poly because it is sex-based instead of emotion-based. Cheating is not poly because it lacks full disclosure, respect, and honesty.

Want to learn more about what it means to be poly? This will give you a good introduction: http://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html. If you remain interested, I'd highly suggest reading The Ethical Slut.

What happened to Amazon?

I have been a huge fan of Amazon.com and a loyal customer for many years. However, recently their value and customer service has plummeted. Their online chat customer service is now a joke. Generally I get transferred to at least 5 or 6 different customer service representatives before being helped--sometimes the person who finally helps me is the original customer service rep who transferred me! Amazon.com used to care about their service quality; what happened?  :(

In addition, Many of the items I buy have recently jumped up in price 10-25%. One of the reasons I have been a loyal Amazon customer is because they consistently had the best price. Now, if you look at the Amazon Prime prices, sometimes they are even 25-50% higher than other sellers selling the same item new through Amazon (check the "used and new" link an inch or two below the add to cart button)! For example, by searching other Amazon sellers I just bought a textbook for $155 new (after delivery charges); whereas, Amazon Prime is charging $212 for the same book. So disappointing...

I doubt Amazon was losing money, so why raise the prices so much? Why skimp on proper customer service? Amazon used to have all the best products, prices, and service. Now it's missing two of the three.

Considering Amazon.com is known for having the most comprehensive reviews system, certainly they should've known that changing their prices, service, and value wouldn't be overlooked by internet bloggers.

For what it's worth, I am a paying Amazon Prime member ($79/yr) and planned to purchase all my Christmas presents through Amazon; now I am looking at other options....