Thankful

I've lived several lives, very different lifestyles. My life has been complete. Everything I've ever wanted to do or experience, I have. I'm lucky and proactive at the same time.

I am thankful for all the wonderful opportunities in my life. Not to say I haven't had my share of dark times; I've probably had more.

Bad experiences built character. Some were caused by others, some completely within myself. For example, being stalked taught me to live my life as if someone was always watching. When you live your life this way, you are a better person. Not to say stalking has any positive qualities; however, in reaction to it I learned to live as if I were Jim Carey in the Truman Show. Another example was when I used self-medicating and destructive coping techniques to deal with my life after my sister died. The drug, alcohol, and sexual experiences I had taught me that I wasn't as strong as I had thought and not to judge other people for their coping techniques. Discovering my susceptibility knocked me off my Princess Pedestal and increased my empathy for others.

I regret none of the choices I've made in life and am thankful for them. While difficult, an important step for me was ending friendships with people who remained stuck in their own dysfunctions. This isn't a rejection of them or a belief that I am superior--it is self-protection. My experiences with dysfunction has helped me easily recognize it and I don't want those people being part of my influential circle. Without judging them for their personal choices, I selectively choose my friends now based upon compatible values.

I hope everyone who reads this blog, also clicks and reads this other link: http://www.howtolive.com/fill-your-life-with-amazing-people/. Knowing this might just change your life.  :)    Be thankful for what you have experienced so far and live your life surrounded by friends who support the life you want going forward.

Sex-starved

The below video is a speech from Michele Weiner-Davis about sex-starved marriages. I read her book during a past relationship to better understand how to cope with a partner who refused to have sex with me.



As she points out, the low-drive partner determines the frequency of sex. People often assume that it's women who create sexual anorexia in a relationship--but that's not always the case. My ex's disregard for my physical needs and feelings about this were huge red flags and part of our break up. Having a healthy sex life is important for mutual respect and lasting happiness.

Lent suggestions?

Because I believe that the yearly "40-days-without" Lent tradition is good for me, this year I Googled* the dates in advance so I'll be prepared: February 18-April 2. I'm meant to to do this! Feel free to make suggestions for what you think I should change during this time. Obviously, the final decision is up to me...but I will seriously consider any suggestions. :)


* Google lists a straight 40 days. This is probably better for me than 46 days with a few cheat days thrown in.   (For an explanation why Lent begins 46 days before Easter but is only 40 days long, see How Are the 40 Days of Lent Calculated?) 

MIT Doctor Links Glyphosate to Autism Spike - Dr. Stephanie Seneff

I have been extremely outspoken regarding my views on GMOs. Even recently, I observed that how someone eats factors into whether or not I will consider him partner material. People may think I'm nuts; but I think all those who don't care about this issue are nuts.

What follows below is from a news story about Glyphosate being linked to an autism spike. Not only is this chemical in Roundup and in GMO foods, it is also in vaccines.

As the new Congress kicks off in Washington, one of the biggest agenda items on the table will be how much money and how much power the FDA and Department of Agriculture will have at their disposal. We’ve already seen signs in the new spending bill that indicate lawmakers want to make it EASIER for big companies to HIDE their GMO products from consumers. As we learn from one doctor at MIT, this GMO craze could cost a lot of children their health. Today, we welcome MIT Doctor Stephanie Seneff.

In her recent article she makes a very stark warning that by the year 2025, half of all American children could have autism. That’s an alarming increase over one decade.

She claims it all comes down to a chemical called glyphosate, commonly found in Monsanto’s herbicide, RoundUp. So what happens when a human comes in contact with that chemical?

1. http://www.anh-usa.org/half-of-all-children-will-be-autistic-by-2025-warns-senior-research-scientist-at-mit/ 
2. http://www.biofortified.org/2015/01/medical-doctors-weigh-in-on-glyphosate-claims/

2015 has started both good and bad

First the bad news: Someone I love fell and broke her hip. This is a tough injury to recover from. Luckily, she is a very strong determined woman. Her partner loves her very much and is taking off work to care for her. I wish I lived closer so that I could help... I pray she recovers as quickly as possible.

And now...my good news: I have been talking with a new romantic interest. He is older than me, handsome, financially secure, has good business acumen, has raised children and is open to more, and we want the same things in life. Of course, we don't live in the same country. Life is rarely that simple. But without settling, I shouldn't expect to find Mr. Right living around the corner. As I said in a previous post, geography is easily solved with money and flights.  :)

Goodbye 2014

 

Happy

New

Year!

Generating money for your business in 2015

Everyone in business wants to make money, yet few people truly understand all the aspects which factor in. The web is here to stay. If you don't have a great web presence, you are leaving a LOT of money on the table. If that bothers you, be honest with yourself for where your flaws are. The younger generations only buy what they can find online. For example, I will pay more--often up to 50%--for something which has a great informational website and good reviews. To compete these days, you must have this. I do not spend my money with those who no not. The future is going this way.

If your business is already too successful, congratulations! If you would like to grow it, start looking at professionals who know what you don't. Unlike other industries, experts in the web world do not have the professional look you expect to see in an office. Don't let this put you off. They look different because they are creative, free-thinking, and good enough at their web skills to have the freedom to look however they want. When it comes to hiring your web specialist, if you discriminate based upon appearance, you will lose quality. Spend a little money for the competitive edge and get a better return on investment for 2015.



Happy holidays and have a Merry 2015!

What happened to Amazon?

I have been a huge fan of Amazon.com and a loyal customer for many years. However, recently their value and customer service has plummeted. Their online chat customer service is now a joke. Generally I get transferred to at least 5 or 6 different customer service representatives before being helped--sometimes the person who finally helps me is the original customer service rep who transferred me! Amazon.com used to care about their service quality; what happened?  :(

In addition, Many of the items I buy have recently jumped up in price 10-25%. One of the reasons I have been a loyal Amazon customer is because they consistently had the best price. Now, if you look at the Amazon Prime prices, sometimes they are even 25-50% higher than other sellers selling the same item new through Amazon (check the "used and new" link an inch or two below the add to cart button)! For example, by searching other Amazon sellers I just bought a textbook for $155 new (after delivery charges); whereas, Amazon Prime is charging $212 for the same book. So disappointing...

I doubt Amazon was losing money, so why raise the prices so much? Why skimp on proper customer service? Amazon used to have all the best products, prices, and service. Now it's missing two of the three.

Considering Amazon.com is known for having the most comprehensive reviews system, certainly they should've known that changing their prices, service, and value wouldn't be overlooked by internet bloggers.

For what it's worth, I am a paying Amazon Prime member ($79/yr) and planned to purchase all my Christmas presents through Amazon; now I am looking at other options....

Tattoos

It was a gorgeous day today so it wasn't surprising to see two shirtless guys riding their bicycles. They had very nice bodies and attractive faces, yet I was completely repulsed by their tattoos. Having tattoos isn't the way to be individualistic anymore--it is conformity. Tattoos can ruin a nice body. There have been limited exceptions of tattoos which don't turn me off--but they are few and far between. Unless the tattooed person is incredibly special or has the most perfect cock, it isn't possible for me to be sexually aroused by someone with a lot of ink. Yuck!

Brandon has not been forgotten

Today, someone I knew should've been turning 26. Instead, he was murdered almost 6 years ago. Brandon had just moved to San Francisco a few weeks before he was killed. His story has been publicized a lot, his mother flies banners over the city he was killed in a few times per year asking for help, and yet still nobody has come forth.

His death might have been a gang initiation or it might've been mistaken identity. He wasn't a troublemaker and didn't associate himself with those who were. He was a good kid, ethical, loving, and wasn't involved with gangs or hard drugs. This was a random killing. Some cold stranger extinguished the life of a kind loving soul who preached peace and happiness everywhere he went.

It's impossible to explain the anguish a mother feels when her child dies. That is compounded by knowing her son was murdered. This story cannot go away. If people keep talking about it, eventually the killer will be caught.

http://justiceforbrandon.com/

Please help. If you know something, please come forward. It was a shooting near Golden Gate Park in November 2008. There is a huge reward available.

If you don't have any information to help directly, please write to America's Most Wanted and request that they accept this story to help bring Brandon's killer to justice.

Gregory Howell, Associate Producer
America's Most Wanted
E-mail: ghowell@amw.com

America’s Most Wanted
PO Box Crime TV
Washington DC 20016

It will only take 5 minutes of your time and might catch a cold-blooded killer. Thank you.

V for Vendetta

Voting is important. Whether or not you believe your vote makes a difference shouldn't factor in. If you DON'T vote, then there is 100% certainty that legally your opinion doesn't count. Only those of us who vote have the right to complain when the government isn't running as it should. If all the apathetic people actually cared enough to vote, they could influence the direction of our future.

My Theme Song

Ally McBeal had a theme song. I used to also. It was Shine by Rollins Band.

If I'd listened everything that they said to me, I wouldn't be here!
And if I took the time to bleed from all the tiny little arrows shot my way, I wouldn't be here! 

The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to put you down.
And you could spend your entire life walking around in the nowhere land of self doubt

'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive! 

It's time, it's time. It's time to align your body with your mind.
It's hero time.
It's time, it's time. It's time to align your body with your mind.
It's hero time.

'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive!
...and you know it's true! 

I'm talking to you: hero time starts right now! Hey! Hero time, yeah,
time to shine, hey, hero time!

If you think you've got 100 years to mess around--you're wrong!
This time is real, your time is now... it's hero time!
Yeah, hero time, hey, time to shine, yeah, hero time, yeah!

Hard times are getting harder, the liars are acting strong.
You better get a grip on yourself or you won't be around too long.
It's hero time, hey, time to shine, yeah.
Hero time, yeah, hero time, yeah!
It's hero time. It's hero time. Time to shine, shine, shine, shine, shine!
Oh yeah! (X3)

No such thing as spare time. No such thing as free time.
No such thing as down time. All you've got is life time... GO!
'Coz it's hero time, 'coz it's time to shine.
'Coz it's time to go, go, go! yeah, hey!

When you're gone, you're so gone. (X2)
You've got it now, it's time to go.
Hero time starts right now! Yeah, uh-huh..! ...Change it!

I've got grace in times of friction. I got truth in times of fiction.
I've got no time for the hype... Suicide!? I'm not that type...
I've got no time for drug addiction, no time for smoke and booze.
Too strong for a shortened life span, I've got no time to lose!
It's time to shine, yeah, it's hero time, yeah, it's hero time, yeah,
yeah!

When you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive!
Yeah!
You could spend your entire life walking around, coward.
Or you can get up!
Get up, get up, get up, get up! It's time to shine! Yeah...

 

I am reclaiming my theme song. I am focused, on-track, and playing it daily...

I want WORTH IT!

Not long ago, I started talking with a gentleman who was closer to the My Ideal Partner list than I've met in many years. We discussed the possibility of dating, even though we live very far from each other.

I was actually excited... but my honesty scared him.


Friends say "if it's too good to be true, it probably is" and that I invested emotion too early. People often miss out on what they want most in life is because they are too skeptical to believe it can be real. But sometimes opportunities present themselves & miracles do happen.

I thought he was my unicorn, so I wasn't going to passively wait. I told him how I felt.

Maybe my parents screwed me up by teaching me to be honest with people and expecting the same in return. They certainly didn't prepare me for a world where deception is the norm. I am secretive when I first get to know someone but, once I accept someone into my circle, I am very open about who I am, how I view others, and what I want in life. It might be naive of me to require such honesty from friends and lovers--but it isn't worth keeping people in my life who are not.

 After watching this video, I suspect finding someone who will be "honest with me always" and who is "trustworthy" might be close to impossible. However, I need that in order to be happy with someone and fall in love.

I'm not crazy; I just know what I want. Test taken today:

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||||||| 94% Stability |||||||||||||||||||| 88% Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 77% Accommodation |||||||||||||| 55% Intellectual |||||||||||||||||||||| 91% Interdependence |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Mystical |||||||||||||||||| 75% Materialism |||||||||||| 50% Narcissism |||||||||||||| 58% Adventurousness |||| 16% Work ethic |||||||||||||||||||||| 91% Conflict seeking || 8% Need to dominate |||||| 25% Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Avoidant |||| 16% Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 58% Wealth |||||||||||| 41% Dependency |||||||||||| 50% Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 88% Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 58% Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 77% Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 66% PeterPan complex || 8% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Vanity |||||||||||||||||| 75% Artistic 0% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||| 72% Physical fitness |||||||||||||||||| 77% Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Paranoia |||| 16% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 88% Indie |||||||||||||||||||| 83%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

Compromising safety for convenience

How many times have drugs been released after we assured they were safe, and then we found out they really weren't? You can apply this to many other scenarios too: power lines, vehicles, toys, foods, war, and the list goes on.

The vast majority of people put their most valuable asset (their own life) at risk all the time without giving it a second thought because they want to believe. They trust whatever they are told.

Yesterday I got into a brief Twitter discussion about biometrics. The other person said that using an iPhone for payment will lower crime because it will also require a fingerprint for payment. I supplied two links showing biometrics is hackable:
(1) http://www.zdnet.com/apples-advanced-fingerprint-technology-is-hacked-should-you-worry-7000020998/
(2) http://www.fastcompany.com/1790444/dark-side-biometrics-9-million-israelis-hacked-info-hits-web

In the case of biometrics, you can't change your fingerprints, iris, etc., after they are compromised. If there is one thing that we should all know by now, is that nothing is 100% unhackable. Anonymous has proven that.

This lack of knowledge (or care?) about the basic world around us extends so much further--even into most people's kitchens. For example, few people eat real food anymore. Most people eat "foodstuffs" which may taste good but are high in many chemicals which poison our bodies. It's no wonder the cancer rates are so high.

To add to that, as of 1994, genetically modified foods have been available. Maybe nobody told you until recently that you are eating Frankencrops; afterall, there is no labeling requirement. The foods your parents grew up on are NOT the same today: fruits, vegetables, and now even other living things. That's right, they are now taking DNA from one type of fish and injecting into another type of fish to create artificial salmon--salmon that will be marketed the same as a naturally created fish. This is happening even though there are studies which prove that DNA from GMO foods are transferred into humans who eat them! Unfortunately, Monsanto has established relationships with many important people and politicians in America.

Universities usually require critical thinking and research classes to graduate. But you certainly can't tell based upon just how many people accept everything they are told without questioning it's validity. You should always view the sources for credibility and to see if there are conflicts of interest.

What about our ever increasing loss of privacy?
Or the disintegration of our Constitution?

 If you are one of those people who doesn't care about these issues, then you are a sheep.

How to become a SLAVE to the system

I am still sometimes guilty of #4. However, I live my life with purpose and am happy.

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don't need to escape from.”  --  Seth Gobin

The frustration of dating

Many years ago, a man I was seeing told me that he (or any other man) would marry me based upon sexual skill alone. While that was probably meant as a compliment, it made me a little sad. I am an awesome catch yet often men focus on my physical potential.

For precisely this reason, I won't have sex with someone new early on to prevent being used for sex or getting prematurely emotionally attached. After becoming friends with a potential, the Dealbreakers from the My Ideal Partner list or not being made a priority is what disqualifies. Even when I find a man who is close to my list, he usually loses my interest by not expressing enough interest himself. I am not needy nor clingy, and I don't want that from a man. At the same time, I do want to be thought about, appreciated, and shown.

Once upon a time, men knew how to court women; now so few understand what that means. I fully blame the gender-equality problem I've talked about before. This is why, after several months of being ready to date, I am still single. I won't settle; I've done that and it wasn't worth it. I need to be swept off my feet.

Geography doesn't factor in. Money and flight schedules solve distance. I once casually joked that I wouldn't date someone because he lived where it snows but--in all reality--if the mutual chemistry were strong enough, that wouldn't have been a deterrent. So, what stops me from dating someone who lives far away? Nothing. The world is huge.

5 Years Sober

Life is good. No temptations to drink..

My Ideal Partner 2014

   Without referring back to the most recent version, I re-wrote my My Ideal Partner list from scratch, changing the format a little.

MUSTS: genius intelligence, honest with me always, motivated, family values, good in bed, generous, knows and likes the true me, gentleman, encourages and helps me to better myself, loyal, compassionate, spiritual, affectionate, emotional/physical/financial support, healthy eater, trustworthy, apologizes, ethical, has patience, shows that he values our time together, prepared to commit

WOULD BE NICE: athletic, speaks more than one language, high sex drive, world traveler, computer geek, likes dogs and cats, similar political beliefs, ex-pat mentality, father figure, teaches me, always "into me", wants an immediate family

DEAL BREAKERS: passive-aggressive, alcoholic, drug addict, liar, thief, disrespectful, physically or verbally abusive, uses denial-of-relationship-sex as a weapon, Capricorn (male), never takes responsibility, refuses to admit when he's wrong or when he doesn't know something, smokes cigarettes

This narrowed shortlist of which qualities matter most will make it much easier to quickly see if someone is in my "Maybe" category. Friends first before anything romantic develops.

My love-hate relationship with cake

So it happened again yesterday. I was passing a bakery when I saw a gorgeous slice of cake. I should've known better as, the majority of the time I have eaten there, I have often been disappointed. But, I bought it. The first bite was amazing--everything I hoped it would be and more! The second bite was still good, although not nearly as great. The third bite started to taste waxy. After a few more unenjoyable bites, I threw away the slice of cake without finishing it. Why does my brain discard all the information it has gathered when I see a delicious-looking cake?

I'm starting to think that's what I've done with men too.  *sigh*  Since I'm resuming interest in dating, I need to examine why I do this and fix it.

What happened to gender differences?

Feminist women have trained men to believe that they do not have to be men anymore. Most men are oblivious, only noticing the money they save while courting and how much easier it is to get sex. But it runs much deeper than that. There is an inherent lack of respect for men by women once women have to take on a more masculine role. Why should I respect him as a man when I can be my own provider? Why should I respect his penis when I can easily get another?

What is the male role? The ability and desire to provide for and protect his family at all costs. A man's goal is to work and make as much money as he can to provide. While he's single, this is to prepare for his eventual wife and children. No real man would ever allow a woman to pay for dates, as doing so demasculates him to the core. The money saved doesn't justify the lost respect. Fathers who allow their children to go hungry, without clothes, or without intellectual stimulation aren't men either. Whether with his child's mother or not, a man will do whatever it takes to have enough money to make sure his family is ok. "Wanna-be men" believe that paying court-ordered child support (which they are often bitter about) is good enough. And lastly, men are supposed to be able to fix and repair things. Even if you have plenty of money to hire someone, the ability to do basic house and car repairs is expected of all men.

What is the female role? To be a caretaker and raise healthy children. Most women have jobs, yet at the same time this can defeminize them. A woman takes care of her family--and not by paying someone else to do it while she goes to work. A woman puts her children first (because they cannot protect themselves) and her partner second. Woman are excellent comforters and are there to lend a hug or supporting comment when her child or man needs it. Women are expected to "step back" when it's helpful towards encouraging her family to to grow and succeed. In addition, frugal shopping and cooking are essential skills all women should have.

Surely it is clear that I do not believe in equal rights. I never have. Men are providers and protectors; women are caretakers. This is natural and works the best because men and women are biologically different. In today's society, many females try to prove they are equal to or better than men. Sadly, laziness has caused just as many males to expect women to pick up the man's slack. Divorce rates in the U.S. are over 50%, and I am convinced this is why. Having a vagina doesn't make you a real woman just like having a penis doesn't make you a real man.

Once upon a time, men knew that they had to "step up" to the husband and father role when they got a woman pregnant. Now, instead of being selective when choosing sex partners, boys are taught (often by their parents!) that they have the option of running away from their male responsibility. Parents claim they want their children to be successful in everything; however, for the past 50 years these same parents have neglected insuring that their children can live up to the most basic of gender roles. These roles exist for a reason and create a harmonious society. When gender roles are not respected, everyone suffers. Do you have children? If so, are you teaching your son how to be a man? Your daughter how to be a woman?

Need help? While written in a religious context, these two books are the best I've seen for teaching a woman how to be proper wife: For Woman Only and More Hours In My Day. If you love your daughter, you will teach her these skills. You can also teach her how to be self-sufficient, but she needs to know how to be a proper woman first and foremost. When parents fail to teach their boys what it takes to be a man, women and children get neglected. Since I am a woman, I do not have any book suggestions for men--but I will start looking, and will add a comment below when I have some. If you do not live up to your gender role, you need to evaluate why and fix yourself.


**** Just a side note, after working in strip clubs I can tell you that most strippers have children. The same holds true for prostitutes. A large percentage are forced into adult work to support their child(ren) because the males who got them pregnant weren't really men. These women are often looked down upon, when in reality they do whatever it takes to take care of, provide for, and protect their children after a man has chosen not to be there.