Someone recently started a rumor that I died. I do not know who did this. Could be a coincidence, yet seems more sinister. The link which was used as supporting proof had an image (she looks a LOT like me) with a second hidden file embedded inside. All very strange...
For those who believed it because they didn't enter in TrixieRacer.com into their URL bar to see for themselves, please do not be sheep. If you believe whatever you are told without verifying (as in this instance), imagine where else in life people are lying to you and taking advantage of your gullibility.
This is my 17th public blog post since the date it is rumored I died. For those who follow me on Twitter, I have tweeted at least a few hundred times since that date.
About Me
- Trixie Racer
- When you fail to follow your dreams, you cheat yourself out of being you.
Be proud of who you are and don't back down.
Be a winner at the game of life!
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Gun Appreciation Day
If GUNS kill people, then PENCILS misspell words, CARS make people drive drunk, and SPOONS make people fat.
All of these tools can be used for positive or negative. The person wielding that tool is the one making the choice. Convict irresponsible people, don't villainize neutral tools.
All of these tools can be used for positive or negative. The person wielding that tool is the one making the choice. Convict irresponsible people, don't villainize neutral tools.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
December 16th has been a repeating date for my life.
December 16th has been a repeating date for my life. Coincidentally, three of my most significant relationships all started on this day.
My plan for today was to stay home to avoid meeting people...but that isn't always possible.
My plan for today was to stay home to avoid meeting people...but that isn't always possible.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Gluten-free sugar-free chocolate walnut brownies
Today I am sharing a recent recipe I invented with you: yummy sugar-free gluten-free brownies!
1 1/4 cup Pamela's Pancake Mix
3/4 cup water
1 egg
1/3 cup walnuts, pieces
1/2 avocado, diced
1 tablespoon melted coconut oil
2 tablespoons honey
3 tablespoons 100% cocoa powder, organic
1 squirt of vanilla (1-2 teaspoons?)
Combine all of the above ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Then, using more coconut oil in a frying pan, cook this mixture as pancakes. It yields 10 pancake brownies.
As an alternative to frying as pancakes, you could probably cook this in the oven inside muffin tins. In that case, I would estimate 350 degrees for 20 minutes. FYI: I have not done this because I believe that making it on the stove-top with additional coconut oil adds to the sweetness.
* You might notice that the recipe calls for honey. Yes, this is a sweetener. It is the only added sweetener I have used and have only had 3 tablespoons total in the past 4 months. However, 1/5 of a tablespoon of honey for the end result to taste like a chocolate brownie is amazing!
Monday, November 9, 2015
Zombies
Considering I used to eat cake for breakfast and at one point went on the Jack In The Box/Sonic diet to gain weight, it may seem ironic that I am posting about healthy eating. Since I have stopped eating sugar, my mind has gotten much more clear.
The foods of today are not the same as the foods your parents and grandparents grew up with. They had real food. Unless you go out of your way to purchase otherwise, you are eating genetically modified lab experiment food. There are no studies on GMOs' long-term affect on humans health and reproduction. However, there are numerous problems which have popped up since their introduction--new problems which lack explanation.
A decade ago, if someone would have suggested I become Paleo, there is no way I would have even been open to it. However, 5 years ago, I started transforming. First I removed corn and corn syrup from my diet. Then aspartame and monosodium glutamate. 3 years ago, I stopped eating lactose products. A year or two ago, I stopped eating gluten. This year, I quit sugar. I am so close to the Paleo diet now that I believe it will not be too difficult to accomplish.
Now, I look around and see zombies everywhere. This is similar to when I quit doing drugs and was able to easily spot those who used. Except that this type of zombie is much more common and considered "normal" by today's dysfunctional standard.
The zombies I am referring to are the people who eat whatever they think tastes good without concern over whether it is really food (most convenience foods are "foodstuff" at best). Some of these people look fit and healthy, while many are out of shape or overweight. Appearing healthy does not mean one is healthy (I was an example of this). I also do not believe that overweight people want to be overweight, and might not even be overeating. Yet, the foods that are chosen keep the body starving for nutrients and prevent a homeostatic state. It's no wonder so many people are sick and/or on medication.
Recently, there was a study which showed that removing sugar can improve health in less than 2 weeks. I believe it and noticed an improvement myself. Will this new study change people's behavior? I doubt it. Sugar withdrawals are intense. I think it might take an extreme sickness for the average person to seriously attempt quitting. Throughout my life I have heard many people say that they would rather die a few years earlier (and they will) in order to enjoy what they eat...and sugar is easy, convenient, and tastes good. For what it's worth, U.S. sugar has been genetically modified for the past 10 years.
The foods of today are not the same as the foods your parents and grandparents grew up with. They had real food. Unless you go out of your way to purchase otherwise, you are eating genetically modified lab experiment food. There are no studies on GMOs' long-term affect on humans health and reproduction. However, there are numerous problems which have popped up since their introduction--new problems which lack explanation.
A decade ago, if someone would have suggested I become Paleo, there is no way I would have even been open to it. However, 5 years ago, I started transforming. First I removed corn and corn syrup from my diet. Then aspartame and monosodium glutamate. 3 years ago, I stopped eating lactose products. A year or two ago, I stopped eating gluten. This year, I quit sugar. I am so close to the Paleo diet now that I believe it will not be too difficult to accomplish.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
A woman who is a little
Happy Halloween!!
Throughout my life, Halloween, Christmas, and my birthday have always been my favorite holidays. In addition to that I love gifts and giving, all of these days have something in common--they are celebrations for children (and those with child-like personalities).
Being that I have a child-like personality, Halloween is the perfect time to introduce the babygirl lifestyle kink to all my vanilla readers.
First read this: http://daddys-doll.blogspot.com/2013/09/what-is-ddlg-dynamic.html. It will give you the full background on what the DD/lg or DD/bg dynamic is all about. You need to understand that first before you read what follows.
I did not write the below article. I added the blogger's link for anyone who enjoys her writing style or is interested in this lifestyle so you can follow her directly. I am re-posting what she wrote because it perfectly sums up how I identify (before I receive any weird comments or emails, no I do not ageplay). A few men have seen my little girl side, although I only trusted one completely. And he carelessly broke me; she (the inner me) hasn't been out since.
Originally posted on CinnamonAndSparkles:Think you want a little girl?
So you are a Dom and you come across a sub who catches your interest. You find that she is also a little. You don’t know exactly what that means…But you’re interested, and so you find out.
At first you think it’s really cute. She likes Hello Kitty…teddy bears. No big deal. She likes sparkly things and gets excited about simple pleasures.
She likes to color pictures….says it makes her happy and relieves stress.
OK…
You love that when you are with her, she sees the world with the same excitement that a child has. She never outgrew that wonder. It makes you feel more joyful….You see life in a different way.
But you notice that she often interrupts you when you are talking….not because she means to…. not because she is on the same subject you are and wants to add to the discussion…. but because she saw a deer in the woods and excitedly wants to point it out to you.
Now it’s not so cute, but a bit annoying. She understands. She tries hard to be better, but it’s really hard….because that part of her is not big.
Life goes on and you grow closer… You thought you realized what a big responsibility it is being a Daddy Dom to a little, but you really didn’t.
A Dom has a lot of responsibility to their submissive. Being a Daddy Dom to a little has even more. A little is vulnerable in a way that you can never comprehend fully until you’re one, or with one who loves and trusts you.
You didn’t really want that much responsibility. You find it overwhelming and shut down. You don’t talk about it because you don’t want to hurt your little.
But she feels it. A little is a tuned in radar to their Daddy. They know instinctively when something is not right.
At night you play games and then turn away and go to sleep. She hugs her teddy bear tight to not feel so alone and scared.
You look over and see this, and it turns you off even more. You don’t understand this, as you used to find it sweet and endearing. You gave her the bears…. but now you ask her what she gets out of it.
She feels the message in the question. It stings. But she tells you that it’s like when you cuddle a puppy….that’s what she gets out of it.
She sees the glimmer of understanding in your eyes and hopes….it’s so hard to show people who you really are, and face being judged. She gave you everything that she is. Please don’t judge her harshly.
And then the day comes where you have a fight and you tell her that your place is not going to be filled with sparkles and polka dots. Her mind wonders where the polka dots came from? But it hurts. He thinks you’re silly and stupid and have no taste. At least that’s what her heart hears.
Then you call her a child. And not in a good way. She’s angry…. but the anger comes from hurt. She knows that she is childlike….but she thought you knew what an amazing woman and sexual being she is also. But you don’t.
You saw her as amusing. Something that made you feel good, because that is something littles are great at…..But, you wanted easy.
Real life shows up for everybody. Sometimes real life for littles ( ok not sometimes….most of the time ) is scary. When she is scared, she turns to you. She shows you all of her vulnerability….Her fears… Her tears….
You feel even more overwhelmed…. you feel responsible for her well being. In a way you are. But mostly she just needs you to be there. To hold her hand, and make her feel safe.
She has taken care of herself for a long time. She has had to be big…to be strong. But she trusted you enough to let down that shield, and believed you when you said you would always take care of her.
She knows that she is a lot. She knows that she is needy. She tries hard to be less little.
She wonders how all the things that you said you loved about her in the beginning, are the things that cause you to not want to touch her now.
She has always thought she was too much. She always felt different. She has been told that the things she loves are for kids and she should just grow up.
When you call her a child, or tell her that she can’t be a parental figure to your children because she is a little…. it cuts right down to her core.
A little is very sensitive. They don’t have a thick skin, even if they pretend to the world that they do.
She will probably never forget your words.
She will do anything to make you happy. Turn herself inside out.
You cut her off sexually. You don’t touch her. You don’t let her please you.
You leave her alone more and more.
Want to see a little unravel? That’s the formula
Want to keep your little happy? Just love them. If you are ever a Daddy Dom lucky enough to have a little who wants to be yours, hold on and don’t let go.
Don’t just read some blogs and posts on Fet Life and think you’re ready and done. More than anything else, a relationship with a little is just that…. a relationship.
It takes work. Hard work and lots of it.
Like any relationship. So let me say that again. Hard work and lots of it.
The rewards are great.
But it’s not going to be a kinky romance novel every day of the week….. In fact, most of the time it won’t be. We live in the real world after all.
But those times that it is….
- This is a composition of relationships, not just one. It’s food for thought for any Dom looking at a relationship with a little.
** I write as little/sub/female dealing with a male Daddy Dom as that is my personal perspective. These could and would also apply to other sexes and dynamics
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Friday, October 9, 2015
Is anyone listening? Are you fucking insane?
This music video by The Herd was posted to YouTube 7 years ago. Brilliant.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Self-medicating to cope after a loved one dies
It's been 10 years since my sister died. It's also been 10 years since my lover died. 2005 was a tough year. Both died by suicide. A lot can happen in 10 years. What does death do to us? It's not predictable and never the same.
Over the next few years, I handled these deaths by self-medicating: drinking a lot, using drugs, and involving myself in unhealthy relationships. Since I lived in Las Vegas, self-medication was the norm and acceptable behavior. My real support system dwindled and was replaced by people who also didn't care about themselves. Secretly I wanted to die, but since my loved ones had taken their own lives, I knew that killing myself would be too painful for those who cared about me. If I overdosed, it would be less painful. I had a relationship with a man who wanted to pimp me (thankfully I got away). I needed love and a lifesaver, yet was too broken to recognize those who wanted to take advantage.
It took me longer than normal to recover from these deaths because, due to self-medication, I didn't grieve the way I should have. Experiencing the stages of grief is essential for recovery. I was in horrible pain, so self-medicating felt like the right thing to do at the time. However, it was directly because of it that I didn't heal sooner. Fast forward to now. I've been sober 6 years. Despite going through some major hardships, I live a happy, drama-free life. My support system is small, but excellent. Life is good.
Even when everything seems hopeless, even when there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you have choices. How you move forward does make a difference. If you choose to self-medicate, it will get you through but it will extend the hurt. If you don't, you will hurt more intently, but it won't last for nearly as long.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
The Power of Yet
Carol S. Dweck is a leading researcher in the field of motivation and is the Lewis and Virginia Eaton Professor of Psychology at Stanford. Her research focuses on why students succeed and how to foster their success. More specifically, her work has demonstrated the role of mindsets in success and has shown how praise for intelligence can undermine students’ motivation and learning.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Monday, September 14, 2015
Inward and outward love
|
"Almost everyone wants something for nothing."
--Marsha Sinetar
Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, we have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too.
Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren't available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it's time-consuming. Although friendship's rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give.
Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us.
I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own.
Take the first step and offer true friendship to others. It is worth it and most people reciprocate!
Identify those who fail to return your friendship (after given more than an ample opportunity) as not worthy of you and cut them out of your life. This way of life shows love for others and also love for yourself.
Friday, September 11, 2015
Syria, and America's responsibility
Today is a day when many think about all the lost lives from the World Trade Center attack on September 11, 2001. Almost 3,000 lives ended that day, and countless more affected. Since then, September 11th is a day where people remember, mourn, and feel a sense of patriotism regarding the United States invading other countries--and ironically, other countries which were not responsible for that US tragedy.
While the average American is aware of how both North Korea and the "The Great Firewall of China" biases their media, few Americans understand that the United States news is also biased and full of propaganda. Most Americans get their news about what has happened from American news sources.
"More than 60 million people have been displaced by conflicts in Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Yemen, Ukraine and elsewhere, and the violence is expected to drive hundreds of thousands more to seek asylum this year and next." (source) -- What do the majority of these countries have in common? Yes, oil-related military intervention from the US which led to millions of innocent lives being permanently and negatively affected. It is not the job of the US to be the world savior. It is--apparently--the intent of the US to send in troops when doing so creates a chess-like tactical long-term gain of resources. The United States, whether we like it or not, is the world bully.
Syria could foresee the potential of civil war and wanted their Assad government to stay in place. The Syrian government had a 55% approval rating--that is higher than Obama, Bush, and Reagan. Just two months after the United States agreed to allow Syria to decide it's own political future and to not have military intervention, Obama publicly threatened force. Fear of chemical weapon use was a convenient excuse. Yet, it wasn't America's place. I have serious reservations about who actually used the chemical weapons the following year and honestly believe it was a false flag operation.
Even those who do not watch television are aware of the mass refugees trying to escape Syria. How many know that the US intervention was a catalyst for Syria's civil war? How many know that Syria was a prosperous country before the United States strategically decided to enter it as a political chess move against the Middle East?
How many have heard that Syria wanted peace and was prepared for peace--yet were blocked every step of the way by America? How many of you have heard that it was the United States who reneged on the Geneva Convention?
Close to 250,000 people have died in Syria, with 30% being civilians.
Be informed. Read the ACTUAL AGREEMENT from 2012 between the United States, United Nations, the League of Arab States, China, France, Russia, United Kingdom, Turkey, Iraq, Kuwait, Qatar, the European Union, and Syria:. I dare you, because then you will realize just how the United States attacking Syria was both inappropriate and broke international law. The US acts as if breaking international law is acceptable.
...then, if you want to continue reading...
While the average American is aware of how both North Korea and the "The Great Firewall of China" biases their media, few Americans understand that the United States news is also biased and full of propaganda. Most Americans get their news about what has happened from American news sources.
"More than 60 million people have been displaced by conflicts in Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Yemen, Ukraine and elsewhere, and the violence is expected to drive hundreds of thousands more to seek asylum this year and next." (source) -- What do the majority of these countries have in common? Yes, oil-related military intervention from the US which led to millions of innocent lives being permanently and negatively affected. It is not the job of the US to be the world savior. It is--apparently--the intent of the US to send in troops when doing so creates a chess-like tactical long-term gain of resources. The United States, whether we like it or not, is the world bully.
Syria could foresee the potential of civil war and wanted their Assad government to stay in place. The Syrian government had a 55% approval rating--that is higher than Obama, Bush, and Reagan. Just two months after the United States agreed to allow Syria to decide it's own political future and to not have military intervention, Obama publicly threatened force. Fear of chemical weapon use was a convenient excuse. Yet, it wasn't America's place. I have serious reservations about who actually used the chemical weapons the following year and honestly believe it was a false flag operation.
Even those who do not watch television are aware of the mass refugees trying to escape Syria. How many know that the US intervention was a catalyst for Syria's civil war? How many know that Syria was a prosperous country before the United States strategically decided to enter it as a political chess move against the Middle East?
How many have heard that Syria wanted peace and was prepared for peace--yet were blocked every step of the way by America? How many of you have heard that it was the United States who reneged on the Geneva Convention?
Close to 250,000 people have died in Syria, with 30% being civilians.
Be informed. Read the ACTUAL AGREEMENT from 2012 between the United States, United Nations, the League of Arab States, China, France, Russia, United Kingdom, Turkey, Iraq, Kuwait, Qatar, the European Union, and Syria:. I dare you, because then you will realize just how the United States attacking Syria was both inappropriate and broke international law. The US acts as if breaking international law is acceptable.
...then, if you want to continue reading...
- Most Syrians back President Assad, but you'd never know from western media: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/jan/17/syrians-support-assad-western-propaganda (January 2012)
- 9 Ways America Has Fueled the Bloody Civil War in Syria: http://www.alternet.org/world/america-has-fueled-bloody-civil-war-syria (September 2013, and it has gotten worse since)
- Failure of Syria diplomacy exposes enduring divisions over Assad: http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2015/09/09/world/politics-diplomacy-world/failure-syria-diplomacy-exposes-enduring-divisions-assad/ (2 days ago)
What do people think in other parts of the world?
Canada: The Ghouta Chemical Attacks a US-Backed False Flag? Killing Syrian Children to Justify a “Humanitarian” Military Intervention -- http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-ghouta-chemical-attacks-us-backed-false-flag-killing-children-to-justify-a-humanitarian-military-intervention/5351363
China: US responsible for refugee crises in Syria, Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan -- http://www.firstpost.com/world/us-responsible-for-refugee-crises-in-syria-libya-iraq-afghanistan-chinese-commentary-2422432.html
India: Is US not morally obliged to take responsibility of war-torn Syrians? -- http://www.india.com/news/world/europe-migrant-crisis-is-us-not-morally-obliged-to-take-responsibility-of-war-torn-syrians-538381/
Russia: Putin blames US for migrant crisis in Europe -- http://www.dw.com/en/putin-blames-us-for-migrant-crisis-in-europe/a-18694852
UK: Are the US-led air strikes in Syria legal - and what does it mean if they are not? -- http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/syria/11116792/Are-the-US-led-air-strikes-in-Syria-legal-and-what-does-it-mean-if-they-are-not.html
Many of the World Powers are involved here, and they disagree. Read up on World War I and World War II if you still think this doesn't affect you. History repeats itself and we are getting scary close.
Canada: The Ghouta Chemical Attacks a US-Backed False Flag? Killing Syrian Children to Justify a “Humanitarian” Military Intervention -- http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-ghouta-chemical-attacks-us-backed-false-flag-killing-children-to-justify-a-humanitarian-military-intervention/5351363
China: US responsible for refugee crises in Syria, Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan -- http://www.firstpost.com/world/us-responsible-for-refugee-crises-in-syria-libya-iraq-afghanistan-chinese-commentary-2422432.html
India: Is US not morally obliged to take responsibility of war-torn Syrians? -- http://www.india.com/news/world/europe-migrant-crisis-is-us-not-morally-obliged-to-take-responsibility-of-war-torn-syrians-538381/
Russia: Putin blames US for migrant crisis in Europe -- http://www.dw.com/en/putin-blames-us-for-migrant-crisis-in-europe/a-18694852
UK: Are the US-led air strikes in Syria legal - and what does it mean if they are not? -- http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/syria/11116792/Are-the-US-led-air-strikes-in-Syria-legal-and-what-does-it-mean-if-they-are-not.html
Many of the World Powers are involved here, and they disagree. Read up on World War I and World War II if you still think this doesn't affect you. History repeats itself and we are getting scary close.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Man Up to indecision
This post was on a message board I read:
There is an old French proverb which states, "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience." It certainly applies in your current situation. He chose to drag out the inevitable end to the relationship simply because he couldn't make a decision and subsequently stand behind it. It proved easier for him to allow you to suffer his indecisiveness than to man up when he most needed to be strong. You will continue to hurt in the meantime but in the end, how much did you really lose?In most cases, refusing to make a decision is a decision within itself. The comment above uses the words "man up" and I agree with this completely. More often than not, it is the male species which keeps the female on hold due to their own indecision. These males are not men, they are boys playing games (both with themselves and others). It is important to be a grown-up, a man, and act accordingly. This is true with both friends and lovers, and compounded when emotions are involved. You owe--out of respect--to be forthcoming regarding your decisions and not make others wait around. Everyone deserves honesty. In the case where the eventual result is ending of a relationship, dragging it out is cowardly and iniquitous.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Overdosed from glucose test
A few days ago, I had the type of glucose test where you drink an extremely high glucose drink and then test again 2 hours later. My resting blood sugar was 101; it used to be 85. I quit eating sugar 6 weeks ago, so I am confused as to how my results went from a normal blood sugar when regularly eating hot fudge sundaes and cake to prediabetes when I don't consume any sugar at all.
In addition to the higher resting blood sugar rate, the overdose of glucose caused me to get very sick. I was in extreme pain, like when I had cancer a few years ago, and was seriously worried. Thankfully, after the glucose was either out of my system (or had sufficiently diluted), the pain went away. If for any reason my results end up being inconclusive, I will refuse to take another test because the overdose of sugar was too harmful. Not only do I not want the pain, I don't want sugar in my system.
Yesterday I had a piece of sugar-free Trident Splash gum. I haven't had any gum since I stopped having sugar. Doing so was kind of an experiment and it is difficult to describe what I felt. About 20 minutes after putting the gum in my mouth, it was apparent that some ingredient in it was affecting my mental state. Yuck! I immediately threw it out. It really is scary how "foods" and even gum can affect behavior and mental health.
Since I haven't posted a Global Personality Test snapshot in awhile, this is from today:
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com
You might have noticed a few differences in my personality report. From doing the yearly My Ideal Partner lists and then dating, I have learned a lot more about myself, who I am, and what I consider important. And now you know, too. ;)
In addition to the higher resting blood sugar rate, the overdose of glucose caused me to get very sick. I was in extreme pain, like when I had cancer a few years ago, and was seriously worried. Thankfully, after the glucose was either out of my system (or had sufficiently diluted), the pain went away. If for any reason my results end up being inconclusive, I will refuse to take another test because the overdose of sugar was too harmful. Not only do I not want the pain, I don't want sugar in my system.
Yesterday I had a piece of sugar-free Trident Splash gum. I haven't had any gum since I stopped having sugar. Doing so was kind of an experiment and it is difficult to describe what I felt. About 20 minutes after putting the gum in my mouth, it was apparent that some ingredient in it was affecting my mental state. Yuck! I immediately threw it out. It really is scary how "foods" and even gum can affect behavior and mental health.
Since I haven't posted a Global Personality Test snapshot in awhile, this is from today:
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com
| Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun. Extraversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. |
trait snapshot:
clean, likes large parties, outgoing, makes friends easily, optimistic, positive, social, high self control, traditional, assertive, rarely irritated, self revealing, open, finisher, high self concept, controlling, rarely worries, tough, likes to stand out, does not like to be alone, semi neat freak, fearless, dominant, trusting, organized, resolute, strong, practical, craves attention, adventurous, hard working, respects authority, brutally honest, realist, altruistic
You might have noticed a few differences in my personality report. From doing the yearly My Ideal Partner lists and then dating, I have learned a lot more about myself, who I am, and what I consider important. And now you know, too. ;)
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Sex with exes
Having sex with the ex sounds like a bad idea. But, is it always? That depends. Are you still emotionally attached? If yes and the sex comes before agreeing to get back together, then it is a horrible idea. Emotions deepen with sex and you don't want to set yourself up for another heartbreak. If both of you have moved on and are healthy, just horny, this might be ok as long as boundaries are discussed in advance and respected. An advantage to this is that both of you already know each other's bodies and how to satisfy.
My most recent ex was an ex from years earlier. No, we didn't have a random hookup that resulted in a renewed relationship. We actually talked about getting back together for over a year before we consummated our second go 'round. I bet if any of my other ex's are reading this, they might be wondering whether I'd have sex with them again under the right circumstances. For the most part, NO! Exes are exes for a reason and I don't want to rekindle our romances.
There are two exes, however, whom were impressive enough in bed that I have thought about whether a sex-only encounter might be reasonable. Of course, these relationships were also the most unhealthy I've ever had so the clear answer is no. In fact, in both cases I moved out of the state to get away from them! The first man was crazy beyond my tolerance level...but a 15 on a 1-10 sexual rating scale--thoroughly destroying the bar for everyone else. If it wasn't for his level of crazy, I would've married him in a heartbeat. For many reasons, I don't intend to ever speak with him again. The second guy was a 9 on the 1-10 scale and had a unique sex move I've never experienced with anyone else. For that reason alone, I've considered it. He knows how to compartmentalize sex and can't be monogamous, so he could be a possibility. On my end it would be just sex too. Thankfully we' don't live in the same state so there is little temptation.
There is a third guy....although he can't be labeled as an ex because our relationship wasn't committed, it was casual. We lived in different states. He came into my life at a time when I was too messed up to date but needed sex, and he was very skilled in bed (10/10). Yep, I'd do him again.
(Does posting about sex make it clear that this is the horny time of my cycle? lol)
My most recent ex was an ex from years earlier. No, we didn't have a random hookup that resulted in a renewed relationship. We actually talked about getting back together for over a year before we consummated our second go 'round. I bet if any of my other ex's are reading this, they might be wondering whether I'd have sex with them again under the right circumstances. For the most part, NO! Exes are exes for a reason and I don't want to rekindle our romances.
There are two exes, however, whom were impressive enough in bed that I have thought about whether a sex-only encounter might be reasonable. Of course, these relationships were also the most unhealthy I've ever had so the clear answer is no. In fact, in both cases I moved out of the state to get away from them! The first man was crazy beyond my tolerance level...but a 15 on a 1-10 sexual rating scale--thoroughly destroying the bar for everyone else. If it wasn't for his level of crazy, I would've married him in a heartbeat. For many reasons, I don't intend to ever speak with him again. The second guy was a 9 on the 1-10 scale and had a unique sex move I've never experienced with anyone else. For that reason alone, I've considered it. He knows how to compartmentalize sex and can't be monogamous, so he could be a possibility. On my end it would be just sex too. Thankfully we' don't live in the same state so there is little temptation.
There is a third guy....although he can't be labeled as an ex because our relationship wasn't committed, it was casual. We lived in different states. He came into my life at a time when I was too messed up to date but needed sex, and he was very skilled in bed (10/10). Yep, I'd do him again.
(Does posting about sex make it clear that this is the horny time of my cycle? lol)
Saturday, August 15, 2015
6 years sober
Today also marks 1 month since I stopped eating sugar and sweets!! Breaking my sugar addiction was much harder than quitting drinking, which makes sense... Most people know that, in laboratory studies, rats will choose cocaine over food and eventually die from starvation. Less people are aware that, when rats are given the choice between cocaine and sugar water, 94% of the time the rats will choose sugar water instead of cocaine--this includes rats who were already addicted to cocaine! Sugar not only tastes good, it creates dependence within the brain. It is, quite possibly, the most addictive wide-spread and socially acceptable substance. I am so happy to finally be free of it. It has been many years since I loved myself the way I do now. I am healthy, happy, and constantly improving. :)
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Flashback blog post to define values
People often become interested in others based upon observations and non-reality. It is human nature to fill in the unknown with assumptions. Few people take the time to actually learn about others on a deep level, preferring to stick with their (often false) assumptions. Not only do I want to know the people in my inner circle completely, I want them to know me completely too.
Here are several blogs I've written over the years which describe who I am, my belief systems, and what I want in life:
My Poly Past: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2015/05/my-poly-past.html
My Ideal Partner 2015: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-ideal-partner-2015.html
Compromising Safety for Convenience: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2014/09/compromising-safety-for-convenience.html
What Happened to Gender Differences?: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2014/04/what-happened-to-gender-differences.html
Why I Dropped Out of College: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2014/03/why-i-dropped-out-of-college.html
A Man is Only As Good As His Word: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2013/10/a-man-is-only-as-good-as-his-word.html
The Men I've Loved: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2012/04/men-ive-loved.html
Sex On The Side: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/sex-on-side.html
Meant To Be Single?: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/meant-to-be-single.html
How Many Sex Partners Have You Had?: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-many-sex-partners-have-you-had.html
The Game of Life: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/game-of-life.html
Soon I Need To Decide Which Life Path: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/soon-i-need-to-decide-which-life-path-i.html
Once In A Blue Moon: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/once-in-blue-moon.html
Synergistic Union: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/synergistic-union.html
I Am Ready To Start Dating Again: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-am-ready-to-start-dating-again.html
The Ethical Slut: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/ethical-slut.html
The Worst Thing In Life: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2007/07/worst-thing-in-life.html
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had lists like this where we could read how they arrived at who they are now and what they consider important...before getting involved? Or am I in the minority by wanting something less superficial?
Here are several blogs I've written over the years which describe who I am, my belief systems, and what I want in life:
My Poly Past: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2015/05/my-poly-past.html
My Ideal Partner 2015: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-ideal-partner-2015.html
Compromising Safety for Convenience: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2014/09/compromising-safety-for-convenience.html
What Happened to Gender Differences?: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2014/04/what-happened-to-gender-differences.html
Why I Dropped Out of College: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2014/03/why-i-dropped-out-of-college.html
A Man is Only As Good As His Word: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2013/10/a-man-is-only-as-good-as-his-word.html
The Men I've Loved: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2012/04/men-ive-loved.html
Sex On The Side: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/sex-on-side.html
Meant To Be Single?: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/meant-to-be-single.html
How Many Sex Partners Have You Had?: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-many-sex-partners-have-you-had.html
The Game of Life: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/game-of-life.html
Soon I Need To Decide Which Life Path: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/soon-i-need-to-decide-which-life-path-i.html
Once In A Blue Moon: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/once-in-blue-moon.html
Synergistic Union: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/synergistic-union.html
I Am Ready To Start Dating Again: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-am-ready-to-start-dating-again.html
The Ethical Slut: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/ethical-slut.html
The Worst Thing In Life: http://trixieracerblog.blogspot.com/2007/07/worst-thing-in-life.html
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had lists like this where we could read how they arrived at who they are now and what they consider important...before getting involved? Or am I in the minority by wanting something less superficial?
Saturday, August 1, 2015
10 YEARS!!
In the beginning I rarely blogged publicly, instead I reserved the majority of posts for my website. That said, today marks 10 years of public blogging.
By not checking my stats, I'm not really sure what my readership is like. That is intentional because I write for me. Always. That way I don't censor what I write. I prefer being real.
If you enjoy my posts, great! Comments are positive reinforcement that it's worth taking the time to write because--every great once in awhile--someone actually reads it. But, for those you don't like reading about my life or opinions, why are you even reading this?