Yay for internet !!

I want to apologize for having such a long gap between this and my last post. For the past 6 weeks I haven't had internet access so for the next two weeks I will upload backdated posts to cover this gap. After that I will be off to Burning Man and then who knows where. This will be my second year and I am sooooooooo excited! Currently I am in Northern California visiting family and friends. Life is an adventure!! :)

Leaving Peoria

It was a wonderful visit. Big Al's reminds me of Crazy Horse Too: fun club, great staff. I enjoy it here so much that I'm planning to come back and live/work here.

Chicago

Over the weekend I went to Chicago for the first time. Highlights of the trip: Museum of Science and Industry and Lou Malnati's Pizza (recommend both!).

Peoria, Illinois

For the next month I'll be working at World Famous Big Al's!
It is a full nude full alcohol club.

Definition of integrity

Integrity comes from the Greek words 'integritas' and 'integra' meaning whole. It enters into any aspect of one's life. It's belief system without faltering no matter how dangerous, how unpopular the person makes themselves to others. It includes: sincerity, keeping one's word and agreements, honesty, truthfulness, ethics, fairness and justice, punctuality and never faltering for what one believes in. A quote regarding integrity is 'It is better to have an enemy who keeps his word, than a friend who does not.'

Life is too short to cheat yourself out of or waste on other people. Choose your friends and partners well. Integrity is mandatory.

Hold off on making any major travel plans today: too much is up in the air.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

It's a good time to bet on yourself -- you're in the right place at the right time, and ought to be able to get pretty far today! If it feels like a risk, you are almost certainly heading in the right direction.

Thank you

Secret Meaning

Expats in Costa Rica

Chapter 01 - Why Move To Costa Rica
Follow newly retired Andy and Fran on their mission of discovery as they make plans to move to Costa Rica.


Chapter 02 - Heading to Costa Rica
As they get ready to leave for the airport, Fran and Andy candidly discuss their plans and concerns regarding their anticipated move to Costa Rica.


Chapter 03 - The Due Diligence Tour
Andy and Fran begin touring Costa Rica's Central Valley as they do their due diligence in preparation for their move to the Central American country.


Chapter 04 - The Tour Rages On
The organized tour has comes to a close. Fran and Andy are now on their own. Their primary mission... secure their Costa Rican Drivers License.


Chapter 05 - The Klippers of Esparza
It was time to kick back and meet our new friends we met while researching this trip. Say hello to Deb and Rob Klipper of Esparza. You already know her as Gringatica2003 on the ARCR Forum.


Chapter 06 - Why Costa Rica
Andy and Fran candidly discuss some of their reasons for moving to Costa Rica as well as focusing on how to cope with being so far removed from friends and family.


Chapter 07 - Safety Concerns In Costa Rica
Andy and Fran discuss issues related to personal safety in Costa Rica.


Chapter 08 - Researching You Move To Costa Rica
Look before you leap! There is no subsitution for good research.


Chapter 09 - Healthcare Concerns in Costa Rica
The ability to retire at our age is 100% related to the cost of providing healthcare protection. In the US, the costs are too prohibitive. Our ONLY recourse is to retire in Costa Rica.


Chapter 10 - The Challenge of Transportation
Driving in Costa Rica (at best) is a challenge. Do you attempt the task of driving the crazy roads of Costa Rica or leave that chore to a professional?


Chapter 11 - Licensed to Drive
The continued adventures of Fran and Andy as they navigate their way to getting their Costa Rican drivers license.


No Chapter 12

Chapter 13 - It's always mañana in Costa Rica
If you are a Type A personality (like me) and you want to succeed in Costa Rica... better think twice and consider behavior modification!

What a healing trip it was! :)

While in Costa Rica I read 4 books, all of which were to improve my previous self. The Power of Now and An Open Heart are both spiritual books for improving your soul. While reading I highlighted them throughout -- making them my new bible equivalents.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 70% Stability 90% Orderliness 62% Accommodation 38% Interdependence 56% Intellectual 66% Mystical 76% Artistic 50% Religious 90% Hedonism 23% Materialism 23% Narcissism 63% Adventurousness 76% Work ethic 90% Humanitarian 70% Conflict seeking 10% Need to dominate 36% Romantic 83% Avoidant 16% Anti-authority 23% Wealth 30% Dependency 63% Change averse 56% Cautiousness 50% Individuality 56% Sexuality 43% Peter pan complex 30% Family drive 63% Physical Fitness 90% Histrionic 50% Paranoia 23% Vanity 63% Honor 90% Thriftiness 70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Stability results were very high which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
clean, likes large parties, outgoing, makes friends easily,
optimistic, positive, social, high self control, traditional,
assertive, rarely irritated, self revealing, open, finisher,
high self concept, controlling, rarely worries, tough,
likes to stand out, does not like to be alone, semi neat freak,
fearless, dominant, trusting, organized, resolute, strong,
practical, craves attention, adventurous, hard working,
respects authority, brutally honest, realist, altruistic

The past doesn't matter. Life is always happening in the present.
I am consciously awake and aware!

Synergistic Union

By reading what I wrote it doesn't make sense how I stayed with my ex for so long. Hmmm.. Love is blind I guess. Now my eyes are open.

This is my attempt at getting my thoughts on paper (digital paper?) so I could better clarify within myself what I want in a man and what I expect in my relationships. Sort of an extended "My Ideal Partner" in an unusual format -- half personal ad, half love letter. I didn't write this for anyone in particular; I got the idea after reading Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man. It is not complete but a very good rough draft.

_________________________________________________________________________________

You know what kind of man you are and know in your heart instantly when something is right for you. If you don't know yourself that well or are "unsure", then you are not the man for me.

Anything you've done in your past doesn't matter. We've both made mistakes in our lives. With me you start with a fresh slate. I expect the same. We are in the here and now and only move forward.

Who I am: self aware, honest even when it hurts to be, happy, tenacious, intelligent, zest for life, experienced, loves Costa Rica, old soul, enjoys reading, adventurous, confident, highly sexual, free and living day by day, non-smoker, motivated, romantic, loyal friend, lovable, smiles and laughs easily, pretty, realist, motherly, likes crossdressers, athletic, lifetime student, kinky, open-minded, likes sports, computer geek, submissive, generous, loving, trustworthy, likes dogs & cats, fair, optimistic, liberal yet conservative, bisexual, logical, reliable, awesome boobs, Dominant, enlightened, sober, independent, thoughtful, thinks outside the box, good in bed, one-of-a-kind, ex-pat mentality, teacher, loves traveling, grateful, helps friends move, respectful, sense-of-humor, spontaneous, spiritual.
Caution: think I know it all, need 10+ hours sleep per day, clumsy, high maintenance, irresponsible at times, talks too fast and too much, not organized, bipolar, ADD/OCD.


Do you want what I have to offer and are you able to live up to my expectations?


My ideal partner has these qualities: honest even when it hurts to be, is my best friend, respectful, we talk about everything, mental/physical/financial/emotional support, knows and likes the true me, loving, spontaneous, zest for life, treats me as an equal, always takes my feelings into consideration, helps me better myself, ex-pat mentality, genius intelligence, likes cats/dogs, listens to me, computer geek, teaches me, can make me laugh, builds and repairs things, thinks outside-the-box, acts like a man and treats me like a lady, worldly, smart in ways I'm not, includes me, takes chances, puts me in my place, likes to learn, high sex drive, reliable, family values, motivated, loves himself, enjoys traveling, athletic, same political beliefs, confident, romantic, good-in-bed, fair, loves unconditionally, shares hopes and dreams, cuddles, funny, responsible, generous, non-smoker.
Without any of these qualities: dishonest, lies, scares me, makes me feel bad about myself, insensitive, violent, drug addiction, alcoholic, disrespectful.


Trust, honesty, respect, and communication are the foundation of our relationship. We start as friends first. While I am looking for my life partner, it must develop naturally. Sex won't come early.

When we marry I expect to take your last name and wear it proudly. Divorce is never an option. While I won't be submissive outside the bedroom, I will always treat you as a man. I appreciate all the things you do for us, from sharing your most private feelings to repairing our house/cars and I tell you so. You appreciate that I want to look good for you and take care of myself and you compliment me regularly. We make love practically everyday for the rest of our lives.

We are each others best friend, sharing our good/bad news with each other first, you always protect me and I take care of your emotional and physical needs in return, we keep each other's secrets. It is us against the world forever. This is the real deal--partners in every sense of the word. We both put "us" before ourselves.

While I would prefer monogamy I am flexible on this. However, neither of us can ever go outside our marriage solo. In order to have sex with someone else, it must be a shared experience with someone who knows we are committed to each other and that they are only a sexual outlet. Threeways are ok, stepping out is not.

Will we have children? I don't know. At my age I only have a 30% chance of conceiving in any given month assuming we have sex on the most peak day. More than half of pregnancies miscarry before the woman even knows she's pregnant. If we manage to conceive and make it past the first month, my chances of miscarriage are 25% (again due to age). I would love to have a child but understand it may not be possible. This cannot be a deciding factor for our marriage. If we decide to have children and are lucky enough to be able to--great!

I promise to love you forever, support you, appreciate you, be loyal, honest, have an active sex life together, be your best friend, respect at all times, and be monogamous. My expectations for you are the same.

As you can see, I've put a lot of time and thought into this. I don't ever want to "settle" again. I want my soulmate.

"You are such a bastard"

'The Bachelor': We're Just Not That Into You


After 50 roses, weeks of speculation, plenty of spoilers and even a conspiracy theory or two, the most! historic! finale! ever! of ABC's "The Bachelor" ended Monday with 32-year-old Seattle account executive and single dad Jason Mesnick slipping a ring on the finger of 25-year-old Dallas sales rep Melissa Rycroft in New Zealand. Cue the violins and ring up the wedding planners, right? Wrong. You see, that just wouldn't be dramatic (or "historic") enough. So a mere hour later (actually six weeks in real time), during the "After the Final Rose" special, viewers watched as Jason shocked his putative fiancée when he told her that, well, he just wasn't that into her. Instead, he said, he still had feelings for the show's runner-up, Molly Malaney, a 24-year-old department store buyer from Michigan.

"You are such a b*****d," Melissa responded, "you should know better than to do something like that," perhaps referring to the fact that Jason had been humiliated on national television during last season's "The Bachelorette", when DeAnna Pappas rejected him. As for the unsinkable Molly, "This is something I dreamt of, but never expected to hear. I'm blown away right now," she told Jason. And then they proceeded to make out -- while millions of women across America immediately revised their feelings for the supposedly most likable Bachelor in series history.

Here's just a small sampling of what fans had to say in Television Without Pity's forums immediately following the three-hour finale. Jason, pray that your adorable little son Ty doesn't know how to use the Internet, because there's plenty more where this came from:

"Molly, you’re next. I give it a few months before he just has to follow his heart again (a.k.a. dump you)." – goddessrin

"It was all appalling on some level--was it necessary to do all this on the air--but I actually groaned, 'Oh, Molly,' when she started making out with him. Bad enough the way the whole thing played out, but to start with the face-sucking at that point?" – Kmax

"Melissa showed a lot of class." – 007Girl

"That was the biggest vat of Velveeta I've ever seen." – TooMuchFreeTime

"Am I the only one thinking that was totally fake? I had friends arguing with me on how real it is." – Laurie4H

"Jason is such a pig. Changing your heart is one thing, doing it on national television is another. AND hooking up with a girl within an hour of dumping your fiancée . UGH. I wish him much unhappiness." – Wrong Heaven

"I have never thought this before about her, but tonight I realized Molly is an actress. Her confused look when Jason told her he wants her back and everything after that was right out of a soap opera." – Carus

"I thought Melissa handled the whole thing great. She kept her dignity while also expressing what a bastard Jason is." – agockows

"Jason had every right to change his mind, but breaking it off in front of the cameras is a new low. Molly, congrats, honey. You 'won.' I think it'll become really clear really soon just what a 'prize' he isn't." – Mamabisi

"Molly is just a poor example of what unfortunately many girls have become these days. A boy does all the wrong things to someone else but maybe I can change him so I'm going to take him back because hey, I'M MOLLY and no guy walks away from me. Well, he did walk away from you and who's to say in six weeks he won't be backing up to call Jillian?" – nymetsgirl22

"Jason's 15 minutes for me expired about two hours ago. He's a loser. Molly's a fool for agreeing to anything other than a cup of coffee for old time's sake. There's no future in that relationship because, really, the guy can't tell the truth unless it's dragged out of him and that will destroy any relationship he's in." – becca656

"And total ewwwwwww when they started making out at the end. Yeah, Melissa's body wasn't even cold yet and they were pawing each other." – weezer95

"Jason, you have seriously underestimated how people will react to what you did just now but I suspect you'll find out quickly enough. Good luck, Molly! Oh, one other thing - consider this: Melissa will move on and find a decent guy who will treat her right. Meanwhile, every time you and Jason have problems or get into a fight, you'll be left wondering if his silence means he's thinking about how he made a mistake with you and regretting letting Melissa go." – The Closer

"As the single mom of 2 girls, who is getting back into dating after a divorce, it makes me SICK that he would bring Melissa into Ty's life for 6 weeks, including holidays, and then yank her out and bring Molly in. He didn't mention Ty ONCE tonight." – brgrayduck

"Jason needs therapy before he commits to anyone else. He's clearly very needy and confused, and should probably not be getting engaged to anyone at this point. I think he has maturity issues too." – DebbieM

Jason is such a jerk. How could he immediately go from breaking off his engagement with Melissa to kissing Molly mere minutes after? And no tears for Melissa, the woman he was just engaged to, while he had this huge emotional reaction after he rejected Molly?" – Coco79

"I honestly could not believe my eyes, watching that circus. I mean...do people have NO shame? To have these kinds of personal things televised? What have we come to? On the one hand, great drama to watch...on the other, I feel dirty for even participating." – PetuniaP

"I hope Jason's ex-wife is out hiring a lawyer to try to get full custody of Ty." – Whataconcept

"Wow, that was good television. I was genuinely surprised. I had the same freeze frame, deer in headlights look that Molly had." -- TrebledTimes

Source: http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/the-bachelor-were-just-not-that-into-you--159

No longer a scared little girl looking up to Daddy for approval

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 66% Stability 70% Orderliness 54% Accommodation 34% Interdependence 70% Intellectual 70% Mystical 76% Artistic 50% Religious 90% Hedonism 10% Materialism 36% Narcissism 83% Adventurousness 70% Work ethic 83% Humanitarian 63% Conflict seeking 10% Need to dominate 30% Romantic 83% Avoidant 23% Anti-authority 30% Wealth 30% Dependency 50% Change averse 43% Cautiousness 50% Individuality 63% Sexuality 43% Peter pan complex 30% Family drive 63% Physical Fitness 90% Histrionic 50% Paranoia 30% Vanity 76% Honor 90% Thriftiness 70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough,
likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

Move over Dresden Dolls

I love this song! The video is great too. I'm going to buy the cd today so I can listen to it on repeat for the next month. :p

Fate

I have always been a big believer in fate. My current life was predestined. There were experiences I required and lessons I had to learn. However, now I suspect I am changing my fate. The fate line on my hand is starting to fade at the top--almost as if to signify that much of my life was predetermined by fate but now I get to control my own future. YES!!!! I'm ready.

Marijuana

It has been over a month since I quit smoking weed (again). Just when it seems to be coming back in style! lol....

Saw this on Craigslist and wanted to share it

TEN SURE SIGNS YOU’RE BEING USED
1) He never introduces you to his family.
2) He rarely includes you in activities with his friends.
3) He only calls or comes by when he wants sex, and leaves right afterwards.
4) When you see him, it’s always during the week, or when it’s convenient for him, never on Saturday night.
5) When he does get together with you, its obvious he hasn’t given much thought to his appearance.
6) He won’t take your calls at work.
7) He doesn’t acknowledge holidays or occasions .
8) When you want to discuss his behavior, he says, "It’s all in your head."
9) When you’re sick, he doesn’t offer anything, or give you a shoulder to lean on.
10) You never spend the night at his place.

Found at: http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/mis/1030641606.html

Wasn't meant to be

In every way, it wasn't. I was excited and wanted this child, but...he wasn't right. The "sperm donor" created so much stress in my life that my body couldn't be a good host. While this saddens me, it allows me to move on to something new. Everything happens for a reason.

Does this mean it's good to hook-up at the bar?

I've never really been that type of girl. Maybe I'm missing out.....


Brewer's droop an old wives' tale

IT gives the phrase "a stiff drink" a whole new meaning: Australian researchers have made the surprise discovery that alcohol improves, rather than damages, men's performance in the bedroom.

They hope the finding, which flies in the face of conventional belief, will reassure men who worry about the affects of drinking on their sex lives.

Until now, it has been widely believed alcohol consumption could cause erectile dysfunction, commonly called "brewer's droop''.

But a study of 1580 Australian men has shown the reverse may be true, with drinkers reporting as many as 30 per cent fewer problems than teetotallers.

Even binge drinkers had lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who never drank, although this type of drinking can cause other health problems.

Lead study author Dr Kew-Kim Chew, of Western Australia's Keogh Institute for Medical Research, told The Sunday Telegraph men who drank within safe guidelines appeared to have the best erectile function.

"We found that, compared to those who have never touched alcohol, many people do benefit from some alcohol, including some people who drink outside the guidelines,'' Dr Chew said.

Dr Chew said he had patients with erectile dysfunction who had been told to stop drinking completely.

The latest finding should prevent them compounding the problem by feeling ``guilty and stressed'' about present or past drinking, he said.

After other risk factors were excluded, weekend drinkers, high-risk drinkers and those who exceeded alcohol-intake guidelines had lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who drank one day a week or less. Ex-drinkers, however, had the highest risk.

"Although alcohol may increase sexual desire through disinhibition, the slang term ``brewer's droop'' captures its reputation as a risk factor for decreased sexual performance,'' the study says.

"These findings suggest a favourable association between low-risk alcohol drinking and (positive) erectile function.''

Low-risk drinking for men is defined as up to four drinks a day for up to five days a week, according to National Health and Medical Research Council guidelines.

The study, which will be published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, concludes there is ``no justification'' to advise men with erectile dysfunction who drink moderately to stop or reduce their drinking.

Earlier parts of the study, however, confirm that men who smoke or have heart disease are at higher risk of erectile dysfunction.

Dr Chew will present hisfindings at an international conference in April.

Source: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24958630-5001021,00.html