No longer a scared little girl looking up to Daddy for approval

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 66% Stability 70% Orderliness 54% Accommodation 34% Interdependence 70% Intellectual 70% Mystical 76% Artistic 50% Religious 90% Hedonism 10% Materialism 36% Narcissism 83% Adventurousness 70% Work ethic 83% Humanitarian 63% Conflict seeking 10% Need to dominate 30% Romantic 83% Avoidant 23% Anti-authority 30% Wealth 30% Dependency 50% Change averse 43% Cautiousness 50% Individuality 63% Sexuality 43% Peter pan complex 30% Family drive 63% Physical Fitness 90% Histrionic 50% Paranoia 30% Vanity 76% Honor 90% Thriftiness 70%

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personality test by similarminds.com

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough,
likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

Move over Dresden Dolls

I love this song! The video is great too. I'm going to buy the cd today so I can listen to it on repeat for the next month. :p

Fate

I have always been a big believer in fate. My current life was predestined. There were experiences I required and lessons I had to learn. However, now I suspect I am changing my fate. The fate line on my hand is starting to fade at the top--almost as if to signify that much of my life was predetermined by fate but now I get to control my own future. YES!!!! I'm ready.

Marijuana

It has been over a month since I quit smoking weed (again). Just when it seems to be coming back in style! lol....

Saw this on Craigslist and wanted to share it

TEN SURE SIGNS YOU’RE BEING USED
1) He never introduces you to his family.
2) He rarely includes you in activities with his friends.
3) He only calls or comes by when he wants sex, and leaves right afterwards.
4) When you see him, it’s always during the week, or when it’s convenient for him, never on Saturday night.
5) When he does get together with you, its obvious he hasn’t given much thought to his appearance.
6) He won’t take your calls at work.
7) He doesn’t acknowledge holidays or occasions .
8) When you want to discuss his behavior, he says, "It’s all in your head."
9) When you’re sick, he doesn’t offer anything, or give you a shoulder to lean on.
10) You never spend the night at his place.

Found at: http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/mis/1030641606.html

Wasn't meant to be

In every way, it wasn't. I was excited and wanted this child, but...he wasn't right. The "sperm donor" created so much stress in my life that my body couldn't be a good host. While this saddens me, it allows me to move on to something new. Everything happens for a reason.

Does this mean it's good to hook-up at the bar?

I've never really been that type of girl. Maybe I'm missing out.....


Brewer's droop an old wives' tale

IT gives the phrase "a stiff drink" a whole new meaning: Australian researchers have made the surprise discovery that alcohol improves, rather than damages, men's performance in the bedroom.

They hope the finding, which flies in the face of conventional belief, will reassure men who worry about the affects of drinking on their sex lives.

Until now, it has been widely believed alcohol consumption could cause erectile dysfunction, commonly called "brewer's droop''.

But a study of 1580 Australian men has shown the reverse may be true, with drinkers reporting as many as 30 per cent fewer problems than teetotallers.

Even binge drinkers had lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who never drank, although this type of drinking can cause other health problems.

Lead study author Dr Kew-Kim Chew, of Western Australia's Keogh Institute for Medical Research, told The Sunday Telegraph men who drank within safe guidelines appeared to have the best erectile function.

"We found that, compared to those who have never touched alcohol, many people do benefit from some alcohol, including some people who drink outside the guidelines,'' Dr Chew said.

Dr Chew said he had patients with erectile dysfunction who had been told to stop drinking completely.

The latest finding should prevent them compounding the problem by feeling ``guilty and stressed'' about present or past drinking, he said.

After other risk factors were excluded, weekend drinkers, high-risk drinkers and those who exceeded alcohol-intake guidelines had lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who drank one day a week or less. Ex-drinkers, however, had the highest risk.

"Although alcohol may increase sexual desire through disinhibition, the slang term ``brewer's droop'' captures its reputation as a risk factor for decreased sexual performance,'' the study says.

"These findings suggest a favourable association between low-risk alcohol drinking and (positive) erectile function.''

Low-risk drinking for men is defined as up to four drinks a day for up to five days a week, according to National Health and Medical Research Council guidelines.

The study, which will be published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, concludes there is ``no justification'' to advise men with erectile dysfunction who drink moderately to stop or reduce their drinking.

Earlier parts of the study, however, confirm that men who smoke or have heart disease are at higher risk of erectile dysfunction.

Dr Chew will present hisfindings at an international conference in April.

Source: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24958630-5001021,00.html

Uh-oh

My period is two days late and I'm single. This morning I took a few pregnancy tests which showed 2 lines--the pregnancy line was very faint but still there. In the past I've miscarried a handful of times. Since many miscarriages happen early on, I'm not worried yet. It would've been nice to have a husband and stable home but things don't always work out as planned. However, I do want a child so if I remain pregnant I will move somewhere more affordable and be a single parent.

New moles

Found a new mole on my underarm. There is also another new one on my back about 4 inches away. Need to get them checked out as soon as I can afford. For the past year I have been under a lot of stress and have a bad feeling.. Hopefully it is nothing since I don't have insurance.

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday

Movie made for psychology class where a man attempts suicide and gets sent to a mental hospital. He then becomes obessed with Lord of the Rings.

Welcome 2009

My predictions:

US is headed for another 1930s depression
I'll move outside country
Obama will get assassinated
US civil rights will get trampled on even more
I'll have a baby
The Amero becomes standard
More terrorist attacks, world moves closer towards world government. "A world against the people."
Somewhere in the US will run out of food/water long enough to cause mass panic
plague
love


Hmmmm...

I am ready to start dating again

Even before my first kiss, I read "Looking For Mr. Goodbar" and "Men in Love". Monogamy isn't natural so trust and honesty are key. The movie, "Chasing Amy", fits me and my life. I am grateful for all of my experiences and have few regrets.. In "The Banger Sisters", I am internally both women. "The Ethical Slut" is the handbook which best describes how I view relationships. Men who date me can never deal with the reality of who I was and am now. Lately, I have been seriously considering living as a lesbian.

In order to be anything other than just a fuck, I need to spend months getting to know the other person first. This is non-negotiable. My partner and I should be best friends. If we are best friends first AND have chemistry, everything else will be there.

I want a life partner; someone I can count on always.

F Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

Today is a good day. :)

Timing

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I am a whoremonger at heart...

Organic

Today one of my best friends took me to the farmers market and bought me groceries as a birthday/Christmas gift. Good friends are hard to find and I have several. *smile*

Sliders

My truck isn't reliable so I've stopped driving it except to go to work. So since I'm stuck at home, today is my Sliders marathon day. I expect to have season one and two finished before I go to sleep.

Today is my birthday!

What am I doing? Nothing. Wish I had money to go somewhere. Wish I had gas to go somewhere. :(

Polyamory vs. Swinging

Most people don't understand the difference. "The Ethical Slut" is a great book to teach how to live the lifestyle in the healthiest manor possible with complete honesty. If you read what I have below (not related to the book) you will learn the difference between a couple that swings and one which is polyamorous.


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Compare and Contrast: Polyamory vs. Swinging

Polyamory is often compared to the swing or swinging lifestyle. They are both part of a broader lifestyle choice of 'open relationships'. Poly and Swing are similar in that they both can involve more than 2 people sexually, and they're open and honest - every one knows what's up. But there are some differences between the two lifestyles that are important to know when using these terms:

Sex vs Relationships: Swing is generally more about recreational sex and polyamory is more about loving relationships. In swinging, friendship is usually the deepest emotional connection that a couple allows with others (and that isn't a requirement for all swingers). Polyamory usually involves deeply emotional connections (love) with multiple people, and sex can (and usually is) an integral part of those relationships. Swinging is more like friends with benefits, whereas polyamory is more along the lines of having multiple boyfriends, girlfriends or spouses. In polyamory, you open yourself up to falling in LOVE with more than one person at a time. In swing, that's usually pretty threatening to the core couple.

Monogamy vs. Non-monogamy: Swinging, in many ways is still monogamously based. While sexual fidelity isn't a part of that monogamy... swinging is very couple-centric. A couple goes into it knowing that neither of them will fall for another person any more emotionally than friendship. Swinging is viewed as safe and non-threatening to the couple's emotionally monogamous relationship. Polyamory usually isn't approached from a couple-centric place. While couples may both date (even date the same person)... the relationships are viewed as individual relationships. In polyamory, you're much more an individual than identified with your relationship structure.

Discreet vs. "Out": Swinging is usually a discreet activity that a couple does on the weekends - whereas polyamorous relationship are part of every day life, and not an activity done from time to time. Usually polyamorous relationships are long term, and have a very regular component to them (daily/weekly, etc.). Polyamorous people usually have a desire to be "out" about their relationships (even if they can't be realistically) - because the people they're involved with hold a very important place in their lives and heart - equivalent to a spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend. Poly people tend to want their partners to be with them for for major events - holidays, weddings, funerals, company picnics, etc. - as well as part of their every day life - grocery shopping, movies, hanging out, etc.

Swinging and Polyamory tend to have a lot of overlap, and there's not a distinct line between the two. I like to think of it as a continuum - and one end you'll find a few hard core swingers who have a lot of fairly anonymous sex, and at the other end you'll find polyfidelious polys who all live together in a closed relationship. But there's a heck of a lot colors in between the two to choose from. I've even heard of the term "Swolly" to define folks that are somewhere between swinging and polyamory. I know poly people who still swing, and I know swingers who have developed poly relationships. And I know plenty of folks who don't worry about the terms, and just go with the flow.

You don't have to choose one or the other - but they are not the same thing. It's important to be able to communicate with potential new partners about what you desire in relationships.

Source: http://www.serolynne.com/polyvsswing.htm

This made my evening

The girl at the beginning kicking the poor intern's balls is my friend Trisha Uptown. She is a sweetie. It isn't her fault. He painted a bullseye on his crotch and begged for it.