When you fail to follow your dreams, you cheat yourself out of being you. Be proud of who you are and don't back down. Be a winner at the game of life!
After much consideration, I will be giving up: cursing, hitting the snooze button, cold sugary coffee drinks, and tres leches. Here's why:
I don't curse much, but any cursing is more than I want.
The snooze button is important. My life doesn't have many hard deadlines; at the same time, I am most productive in the mornings and hitting snooze is counterproductive.
The sugary coffee drinks are a new part of my routine. This a very bad habit for calories and sugar intake--so I need to put an end to them.
Tres leches is another indulgence which I must give up in order to break my sugar addiction by the end of Lent.
Masturbation was suggested for me this year, too. In past years, I have included it.
However, since I rarely masturbate these days, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice now.
For my goals, Lent sacrifices need to be challenging and provide a long-term benefit.
In addition to sacrifices, I pledge to exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes each and every day. This is more than I currently do on the average day. While I wish I could commit to more, it's not worth taking time away from school. I'm not fat so good grades trump my exercise time budget. ;)
I will also have penalties for non-compliance. $1 per curse word, $1 per each time I hit snooze, $10 per sugary coffee, $20 for tres leches, and $5 for missing an exercise day.
Lent
is technically 46 days with 6 cheat days. I do a straight
40 days because I want the long-term
benefit. This year it'll be Feb 18 to April 2. For me, Lent is about change and self-improvement.
Four months ago, I said I was going to re-adopt Shine by Henry Rollins as my Theme Song. While I love this song and I feel it is very inspirational, I haven't been listening to it as I should. Therefore, it is time for a new Theme Song.
Butterfingers is not well known in the US, but they have been one of my favorite bands for many years. This song, Get up Outta The Dirt, is my new theme song. It's perfect for keeping a positive perspective and working towards goals.
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Out the dirt
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Out the dirt
If you sniffle ‘cause your life is difficult, that’s typical
But you get what you give
Karma is reciprocal
And I’m critical of people on my nuts
Can’t see why I’m crippled but they’re stuck up in their ruts
Quick to make a fuss and to bust up the bubble
So this is my rebuttal to "We Like ‘Em When They’re Trouble"
I got a couple of bones to pick
It’s your life, don’t whine, take ownership
Get up, stand up, throw your hands up
While high, jerk your mind back from propaganda
With anti-slander, truth too candor
And it’s good for the goose as it is for the gander
Every gamut of the planet reaps what it sows
So forget about your hair and forget about your clothes
Same goes for your woes, for the moment is priceless
Puberty blues becomes mid-life crisis
SURPRISE!
You get wiser, older, fatter
Lose your mind and control of your bladder
Mad as a hatter, pissin’ in your pants
But everybody’s ugly if you give them a chance
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
This isn’t an attack or a lack of compassion
But you gotta get yourself back into action
Tap into your passion and follow it up
Either that, or let the madness swallow you up
How full is your cup, half-full or half empty?
You’re the envy of plenty, tread gently
Apathy is deadly and if you got seeds of doubt
With means to sprout, you need to weed them out
Or read about people with real cares
I feel for the hunger-stricken killed in Zaire
Children die there from extreme poverty
In perspective, my problems don’t bother me
Think positive, forget about the negative
There’s never been a better time to get your shit together
It's bad etiquette to bitch and moan
With your nice clean clothes and your mobile phone
If you can’t see your feet ‘cause you over-eat
And that’s your biggest problem, then your life is sweet
Not sleepin’ on the street, then you probably got it good
Get up, put your head up, if you can then you should
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
Stand up straight, stand up straight!
Don't take no shit, don’t take no shit!
Hands on your shoulders, shoulders over hips
It's time for a change, time for a change!
So make it swift, make it swift!
You're only getting older with the lifeline that you live
There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
Get up stand up, throw your hands up
While high, jerk your mind back from propaganda
There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
This isn't an attack or a lack of compassion
Outta the dirt
But you gotta get yourself back in the action
There's never been a better time than right now
Right now!
To get up outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt! Outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt!
There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt! Outta the dirt
Get up outta the, get up outta the dirt!
As part of re-entering the dating world, I've revised my lists.
Who I am: Honest, intelligent, loyal, likes to help people, encourages passions, lifetime student, good in bed, outside-the-box, great mom skills, anti-GMO, high sex drive, vain, reliable, generous, loves traveling, believes everything happens for a reason, ex-pat mentality, spiritual, values privacy, smiles and laughs easily, open-minded, many old-fashioned values, enjoys being fit, non-smoker, sober, comfortable talking about anything, shares, romantic, pro-gun, conspiracy theorist, happy, tenacious, accepts people for who they are, turns dreams into reality, not afraid to say “no”, follows my heart.
Caution: Requires complete honesty, easily falls off diet, loses things, mildly bipolar (normal/manic, no depression).
My ideal man will love himself, love me, and any children we bring into our relationship. He eats the same (or will learn how), communicates his needs/happiness, and explains any dissatisfaction so we are on the same page and can make adjustments as needed. Healthy marriages have a passionate sex life; this is important to me, too. I want my life partner, loving husband, and co-parent.
He needs to understand that the spark eventually fades--yet, with that knowledge, will commit to a lifetime of loving each other. Love is a verb. When it's a verb, you don't
"fall out of love." If you don't love anymore, it’s because you chose to break your promise and stop loving.
Since I believe we can manifest what we want in life, this describes him:
NON-NEGOTIABLE MUSTS: Honest, genius intelligence, respects me, trustworthy, ambitious, generous, ethical, makes eating organic/non-GMO a priority, good in bed, prepared to commit, kind, healthy, father figure, patience, emotional/physical/financial support, likes to travel, apologizes, compassionate, acts like a man and treats me as a lady, loyal, helps me succeed, funds vanity maintenance, shows that he values our time together, teaches me, gentleman, wants an immediate family, compatible parenting views (actively parent according to the Positive Discipline model while remaining mindful that all of our actions teach a growing child how to behave).
WOULD BE NICE--but not required: Athletic, speaks more than one language, high sex drive, spiritual, wealthy (well, this would be nice, lol), similar political beliefs, worldly, ex-pat mentality, computer geek, at least 10 years older than me, romantic, can build and repair things.
ABSOLUTE DEALBREAKERS: Lies, abusive, passive-aggressive, undependable, refuses to admit when he's wrong or when he doesn't know something, doesn't take responsibility, antagonistic teaser, alcoholic or drug addict, cheap, uses denial-of-relationship-sex as a weapon, television junkie, smokes cigarettes, thrives with drama.
I've lived several lives, very different lifestyles. My life has been complete. Everything I've ever wanted to do or experience, I have. I'm lucky and proactive at the same time.
I am thankful for all the wonderful opportunities in my life. Not to say I haven't had my share of dark times; I've probably had more.
Bad experiences built character. Some were caused by others, some completely within myself. For example, being stalked taught me to live my life as if someone was always watching. When you live your life this way, you are a better person. Not to say stalking has any positive qualities; however, in reaction to it I learned to live as if I were Jim Carey in the Truman Show. Another example was when I used self-medicating and destructive coping techniques to deal with my life after my sister died. The drug, alcohol, and sexual experiences I had taught me that I wasn't as strong as I had thought and not to judge other people for their coping techniques. Discovering my susceptibility knocked me off my Princess Pedestal and increased my empathy for others.
I regret none of the choices I've made in life and am thankful for them. While difficult, an important step for me was ending friendships with people who remained stuck in their own dysfunctions. This isn't a rejection of them or a belief that I am superior--it is self-protection. My experiences with dysfunction has helped me easily recognize it and I don't want those people being part of my influential circle. Without judging them for their personal choices, I selectively choose my friends now based upon compatible values.
I hope everyone who reads this blog, also clicks and reads this other link: http://www.howtolive.com/fill-your-life-with-amazing-people/. Knowing this might just change your life. :) Be thankful for what you have experienced so far and live your life surrounded by friends who support the life you want going forward.
The below video is a speech from Michele Weiner-Davis about sex-starved marriages. I read her book during a past relationship to better understand how to cope with a partner who refused to have sex with me.
As she points out, the low-drive partner determines the frequency of sex. People often assume that it's women who create sexual anorexia in a relationship--but that's not always the case. My ex's disregard for my physical needs and feelings about this were huge red flags and part of our break up. Having a healthy sex life is important for mutual respect and lasting happiness.
Because I believe that the yearly "40-days-without" Lent tradition is good for me, this year I Googled* the dates in advance so I'll be prepared: February 18-April 2. I'm meant to to do this! Feel free to make suggestions for what you think I should change during this time. Obviously, the final decision is up to me...but I will seriously consider any suggestions. :) * Google lists a straight 40 days. This is probably better for me than 46 days with a few cheat days thrown in. (For an explanation why Lent begins 46 days before Easter but is only 40 days long, see How Are the 40 Days of Lent Calculated?)
I have been extremely outspoken regarding my views on GMOs. Even recently, I observed that how someone eats factors into whether or not I will consider him partner material. People may think I'm nuts; but I think all those who don't care about this issue are nuts.
What follows below is from a news story about Glyphosate being linked to an autism spike. Not only is this chemical in Roundup and in GMO foods, it is also in vaccines.
As the new Congress kicks off in Washington, one of the biggest agenda items on the table will be how much money and how much power the FDA and Department of Agriculture will have at their disposal. We’ve already seen signs in the new spending bill that indicate lawmakers want to make it EASIER for big companies to HIDE their GMO products from consumers. As we learn from one doctor at MIT, this GMO craze could cost a lot of children their health. Today, we welcome MIT Doctor Stephanie Seneff.
In her recent article she makes a very stark warning that by the year 2025, half of all American children could have autism. That’s an alarming increase over one decade.
She claims it all comes down to a chemical called glyphosate, commonly found in Monsanto’s herbicide, RoundUp. So what happens when a human comes in contact with that chemical?
First the bad news: Someone I love fell and broke her hip. This is a tough injury to recover from. Luckily, she is a very strong determined woman. Her partner loves her very much and is taking off work to care for her. I wish I lived closer so that I could help... I pray she recovers as quickly as possible.
And now...my good news: I have been talking with a new romantic interest. He is older than me, handsome, financially secure, has good business acumen, has raised children and is open to more, and we want the same things in life. Of course, we don't live in the same country. Life is rarely that simple. But without settling, I shouldn't expect to find Mr. Right living around the corner. As I said in a previous post, geography is easily solved with money and flights. :)
Everyone in business wants to make money, yet few people truly understand all the aspects which factor in. The web is here to stay. If you don't have a great web presence, you are leaving a LOT of money on the table. If that bothers you, be honest with yourself for where your flaws are. The younger generations only buy what they can find online. For example, I will pay more--often up to 50%--for something which has a great informational website and good reviews. To compete these days, you must have this. I do not spend my money with those who no not. The future is going this way.
If your business is already too successful, congratulations! If you would like to grow it, start looking at professionals who know what you don't. Unlike other industries, experts in the web world do not have the professional look you expect to see in an office. Don't let this put you off. They look different because they are creative, free-thinking, and good enough at their web skills to have the freedom to look however they want. When it comes to hiring your web specialist, if you discriminate based upon appearance, you will lose quality. Spend a little money for the competitive edge and get a better return on investment for 2015.
I have been a huge fan of Amazon.com and a loyal customer for many years. However, recently their value and customer service has plummeted. Their online chat customer service is now a joke. Generally I get transferred to at least 5 or 6 different customer
service representatives before being helped--sometimes the person who
finally helps me is the original customer service rep who transferred me! Amazon.com used to care about their service quality; what happened? :(
In addition, Many of the items I buy have recently jumped up in price 10-25%. One of the reasons I have been a loyal Amazon customer is because they consistently had the best price. Now, if you look at the Amazon Prime prices, sometimes they are even 25-50% higher than other sellers selling the same item new through Amazon (check the "used and new" link an inch or two below the add to cart button)! For example, by searching other Amazon sellers I just bought a textbook for $155 new (after delivery charges); whereas, Amazon Prime is charging $212 for the same book. So disappointing...
I doubt Amazon was losing money, so why raise the prices so much? Why skimp on proper customer service? Amazon used to have all the best products, prices, and service. Now it's missing two of the three.
Considering Amazon.com is known for having the most comprehensive
reviews system, certainly they should've known that changing their
prices, service, and value wouldn't be overlooked by internet bloggers.
For what it's worth, I am a paying Amazon Prime
member ($79/yr) and planned to purchase all my Christmas presents through
Amazon; now I am looking at other options....
It was a gorgeous day today so it wasn't surprising to see two shirtless guys riding their bicycles. They had very nice bodies and attractive faces, yet I was completely repulsed by their tattoos. Having tattoos isn't the way to be individualistic anymore--it is conformity. Tattoos can ruin a nice body. There have been limited exceptions of tattoos which don't turn me off--but they are few and far between. Unless the tattooed person is incredibly special or has the most perfect cock, it isn't possible for me to be sexually aroused by someone with a lot of ink. Yuck!
Today, someone I knew should've been turning 26. Instead, he was murdered almost 6 years ago. Brandon had just moved to San Francisco a few weeks before he was killed. His story has been publicized a lot, his mother flies banners over the city he
was killed in a few times per year asking for help, and yet still nobody
has come forth.
His death might have been a gang initiation or it might've been mistaken identity. He wasn't a troublemaker and didn't associate himself with those who were. He was a good kid, ethical, loving, and wasn't involved with gangs or hard drugs. This was a random killing. Some cold stranger extinguished the life of a kind loving soul who preached peace and happiness everywhere he went.
It's impossible to explain the anguish a mother feels when her child dies. That is compounded by knowing her son was murdered. This story cannot go away. If people keep talking about it, eventually the killer will be caught.
Please help. If you know something, please come forward. It was a shooting near Golden Gate Park in November 2008. There is a huge reward available.
If you don't have any information to help directly, please write to America's Most Wanted and request that they accept this story to help bring Brandon's killer to justice.
Gregory Howell, Associate Producer
America's Most Wanted
E-mail: ghowell@amw.com
America’s Most Wanted
PO Box Crime TV
Washington DC 20016
It will only take 5 minutes of your time and might catch a cold-blooded killer. Thank you.
Voting is important. Whether or not you believe your vote makes a difference shouldn't factor in. If you DON'T vote, then there is 100% certainty that legally your opinion doesn't count. Only those of us who vote have the right to complain when the government isn't running as it should. If all the apathetic people actually cared enough to vote, they could influence the direction of our future.
Ally McBeal had a theme song. I used to also. It was Shine by Rollins Band.
If I'd listened everything that they said to me, I wouldn't be here!
And if I took the time to bleed from all the tiny little arrows shot my way, I wouldn't be here!
The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to put you down.
And you could spend your entire life walking around in the nowhere land of self doubt
'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive!
It's time, it's time. It's time to align your body with your mind.
It's hero time.
It's time, it's time. It's time to align your body with your mind.
It's hero time.
'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive!
...and you know it's true!
I'm talking to you: hero time starts right now! Hey! Hero time, yeah,
time to shine, hey, hero time!
If you think you've got 100 years to mess around--you're wrong!
This time is real, your time is now... it's hero time!
Yeah, hero time, hey, time to shine, yeah, hero time, yeah!
Hard times are getting harder, the liars are acting strong.
You better get a grip on yourself or you won't be around too long.
It's hero time, hey, time to shine, yeah.
Hero time, yeah, hero time, yeah!
It's hero time. It's hero time. Time to shine, shine, shine, shine, shine!
Oh yeah! (X3)
No such thing as spare time. No such thing as free time.
No such thing as down time. All you've got is life time... GO!
'Coz it's hero time, 'coz it's time to shine.
'Coz it's time to go, go, go! yeah, hey!
When you're gone, you're so gone. (X2)
You've got it now, it's time to go.
Hero time starts right now! Yeah, uh-huh..! ...Change it!
I've got grace in times of friction. I got truth in times of fiction.
I've got no time for the hype... Suicide!? I'm not that type...
I've got no time for drug addiction, no time for smoke and booze.
Too strong for a shortened life span, I've got no time to lose!
It's time to shine, yeah, it's hero time, yeah, it's hero time, yeah,
yeah!
When you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive!
Yeah!
You could spend your entire life walking around, coward.
Or you can get up!
Get up, get up, get up, get up! It's time to shine! Yeah...
I am reclaiming my theme song. I am focused, on-track, and playing it daily...
Not long ago, I started talking with a gentleman who was closer to the My Ideal Partner list than I've met in many years. We discussed the possibility of dating, even though we live very far from each other.
I was actually excited... but my honesty scared him.
Friends say "if it's too good to be true, it probably is" and that I invested emotion too early. People often miss out on what they want most in life is because they are too skeptical to believe it can be real. But sometimes opportunities present themselves & miracles do happen.
I thought he was my unicorn, so I wasn't going to passively wait. I told him how I felt.
Maybe my parents screwed me up by teaching me to be honest with people and expecting the same in return. They certainly didn't prepare me for a world where deception is the norm. I am secretive when I first get to know someone but, once I accept someone into my circle, I am very open about who I am, how I view others, and what I want in life. It might be naive of me to require such honesty from friends and lovers--but it isn't worth keeping people in my life who are not.
After watching this video, I suspect finding someone who will be "honest with me always" and who is "trustworthy" might be close to impossible. However, I need that in order to be happy with someone and fall in love.
I'm not crazy; I just know what I want. Test taken today:
How many times have drugs been released after we assured they were safe, and then we found out they really weren't? You can apply this to many other scenarios too: power lines, vehicles, toys, foods, war, and the list goes on.
The vast majority of people put their most valuable asset (their own life) at risk all the time without giving it a second thought because they want to believe. They trust whatever they are told.
In the case of biometrics, you can't change your fingerprints, iris, etc., after they are compromised. If there is one thing that we should all know by now, is that nothing is 100% unhackable. Anonymous has proven that.
This lack of knowledge (or care?) about the basic world around us extends so much further--even into most people's kitchens. For example, few people eat real food anymore. Most people eat "foodstuffs" which may taste good but are high in many chemicals which poison our bodies. It's no wonder the cancer rates are so high.
To add to that, as of 1994, genetically modified foods have been available. Maybe nobody told you until recently that you are eating Frankencrops; afterall, there is no labeling requirement. The foods your parents grew up on are NOT the same today: fruits, vegetables, and now even other living things. That's right, they are now taking DNA from one type of fish and injecting into another type of fish to create artificial salmon--salmon that will be marketed the same as a naturally created fish. This is happening even though there are studies which prove that DNA from GMO foods are transferred into humans who eat them! Unfortunately, Monsanto has established relationships with many important people and politicians in America.
Universities usually require critical thinking and research classes to graduate. But you certainly can't tell based upon just how many people accept everything they are told without questioning it's validity. You should always view the sources for credibility and to see if there are conflicts of interest.
What about our ever increasing loss of privacy?
Or the disintegration of our Constitution?
If you are one of those people who doesn't care about these issues, then you are a sheep.
Many years ago, a man I was seeing told me that he (or any other man) would marry me based upon sexual skill alone. While that was probably meant as a compliment, it made me a little sad. I am an awesome catch yet often men focus on my physical potential.
For precisely this reason, I won't have sex with someone new early on to prevent being used for sex or getting prematurely emotionally attached. After becoming friends with a potential, the Dealbreakers from the My Ideal Partner list or not being made a priority is what disqualifies. Even when I find a man who is close to my list, he usually loses my interest by not expressing enough interest himself. I am not needy nor clingy, and I don't want that from a man. At the same time, I do want to be thought about, appreciated, and shown.
Once upon a time, men knew how to court women; now so few understand what that means. I fully blame the gender-equality problem I've talked about before. This is why, after several months of being ready to date, I am still single. I won't settle; I've done that and it wasn't worth it. I need to be swept off my feet.
Geography doesn't factor in. Money and flight schedules solve distance. I once casually joked that I wouldn't date someone because he lived where it snows but--in all reality--if the mutual chemistry were strong enough, that wouldn't have been a deterrent. So, what stops me from dating someone who lives far away? Nothing. The world is huge.
