Someone recently asked me if I was still sober

I appreciate that people care and are concerned for me. Yes! I have three years sobriety for alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy sex.

Alcohol. My biggest triggers were Las Vegas and bad relationships. Once I quit stripping in Vegas (choosing to work in small towns instead), I broke the habit of drinking at work. At the time I decided to get sober, I also left an unhealthy relationship. This was eye-opening and it was a long time before I felt ready to commit again. While I miss drinking the occasional SweetWater Blue, for the most part not drinking is easy. No triggers = no desire.

Sometimes I miss weed. It's true. I have the opportunity often, yet always turn it down. Having ADD, weed gave me tons of energy. After I quit smoking, I immediately gained 10 pounds that I haven't been able to lose since.  *sigh*  Also, marijuana enhanced my sexual pleasure so much that I could even orgasm from giving head. I miss that! On the bright side, I am always sober and alert. I do not need to self-medicate and I remember much more.

This year at Burning Man I met a gorgeous man. It is rare that I look at a man and think "WOW!" So rare, in fact, that I can remember each one throughout my lifetime. This guy was that quality of eye candy! I've never had sex at Burning Man, and it had been awhile since I'd gotten laid in my personal life. But -- I am successfully reformed! No OMGHSH sex, no Craigslist sex, no sex without commitment. I did take lots of pictures of him, though.. ;)

(picture of me taken by a fellow Burner)

Now that I am no longer stripping, I work full-time cooking and cleaning for the man in my life. Whoever said "You can't turn a whore into a housewife" was wrong.  :-p  Ok, so I wasn't a whore, but close enough in most people's eyes.

My life is simple and drama-free. Nobody causes me stress (those who had were phased out long ago). I am healthy, sober, and happy. Everyday I am grateful.

Time to go home

Once again it is that time of year. BURNING MAN!! This is the first year that I am going with someone--a Virgin Burner. We have ordered all our neccesary supplies and are looking forward to an amazing week retreat.

Getting ready for Burning Man

It's that time again. Burning Man is August 29-September 5. Whether you're going or not, take a few minutes to learn from Halcyon's lesson on "gifting":

"Gifting" - by Halcyon from Belief Buffet on Vimeo.

Halcyon's Camp: http://pinkheartcamp.com/


Burning Man is the most important spiritual event of the year for me. This year tickets sold out. I bought my ticket the first day they went on sale. Many of the problem-makers get their tickets last minute, so I suspect this will be the best year ever. How exciting! I can't wait!!!

Burning Man

Burning Man was again awesome! For anyone who hasn't been, look into it. It can be whatever you want it to be. For many it is a week-long party. For me it is a healing retreat.




Since I am nearby, I will be dancing at the Wild Orchid again September 8th-18th. :)

The Ethical Slut

Recently I went to Burning Man. It was so much more amazing than I imagined it could be. It can be compared to a Grateful Dead show on steroids--a huge party with unlimited drugs, alcohol, and sex. People are free there to be whomever they want. There are seminars and classes for all types of self-realization and skills. Lots of people in drag, wearing costumes, and completely naked. Totally enlightening.

The classes I attended were primarily adult in nature. Bondage, S&M, polyamory... It was at a class where I first heard of the book "The Ethical Slut". Immediately upon leaving Black Rock City I drove straight to Borders and picked it up. It became a top priority in my life as I read and highlighted with a quickness. How exciting to learn about a different type of lifestyle; one I agree with completely. Monogamy has always been difficult for me but--unlike most people--I have always been honest with my partners when I step outside the relationship. This is the basis of the book--being polyamorous while being honest and ethical. People should be who they are without misleading or deceiving others. This is me.


Random life update:

Back in June I started drinking and smoking again. While I don't like drinking, after I've had 3 or 4 I just keep going. Until I learn what moderation means, I cannot indulge. And I'm realistic enough to know that I may never know what moderation means. :(
I'm willing to bet that I am one of the only people to ever use Burning Man as a jumping off point for sobriety. Haha.. BUT I DID!! The last time I drank was on August 22 and the last time I smoked weed was August 24. Yeah! :)

My ex offered to pay half the moving cost if I want to move back to Georgia. He and I are still talking (and f*cking) and are on good terms. Not sure yet if I'll go. Financially it will be a huge burden to leave Las Vegas. Updating my resume today and applying for "real jobs" locally. Need to decide soon.

Next week I go visit my mother. Her health isn't good. I recently got to spend 5 wonderful days with my grandmother. It's important for me to see those people who may not have much longer in this world. No regrets.

Talking to a long lost friend. A few years ago my sister and boyfriend both died within 6 months of each other. Why is it that people lash out on those whom we value the most? Both of us were at fault to some degree but he saw a side of me that I am truly ashamed of. It's taken a few years for me to finally realize how much of it was me. Luckily, he understands and has accepted my apology. Making amends is important. Karma is important.