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When you fail to follow your dreams, you cheat yourself out of being you.
Be proud of who you are and don't back down.
Be a winner at the game of life!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Once in a "blue moon"

Today is New Year's Eve 2009. There is also a blue moon in the sky. What have you referred to doing "once in a blue moon"? Are you doing that tonight? Why is it such a rarity? Think about your answer.

Tonight I will be at Big Al's again. Nobody knows yet, but I will be showing up with gifts for the staff. All adult related: dildos, penis pumps, lingerie, etc... Lol.. Hey--it's an adult business and this seems completely appropriate. *silly grin*

Bringing smiles to other people's faces is one of the great joys in life. :)


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

No longer sick

No longer sick and going back to work as of tonight. Come see me! :)

(I need a better cell phone camera)

Monday, December 28, 2009


Unfortunately, after a few days of working I was exposed to the wrong person and am now sick. *sigh* For the past 20 hours I have been laying in bed with what I suspect is the flu: feeling disoriented, stuffy/runny nose, swollen eyes, sore throat, and body aches. To anyone looking for me, it will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday before I am healthy enough to go back to work again.

On the bright side, this gives me plenty of time to lay in bed and catch up on much-needed rest, reading, and blogging... :)

Friday, December 25, 2009

It is a "White Christmas" afterall!! :)

Growing up on the west coast, I've never experienced snow on Christmas before. It is beautiful! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Spending the holidays in Illinois

While in Peoria I can be found working at Big Al's. Come in and see me! It is a full-nude full-alcohol club open until 4am everyday. VIP starts at $400.
Picture of me taken tonight with camera phone

Weather.com had forecasted snow today but so far it's not looking likely. If it does, this year will be my first White Christmas. :)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Artlicle on narcissists

This article has been floating around for awhile. I have had several people request that I post this on my blog. So, here it is! :) If you click on the website link in the question below, there are many more articles. Very eye-opening, to say the least...

Do Narcissists Really Hate Women?
Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the Narcissist, and Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths
By: Dr. Sam Vaknin


I read somewhere in your web site that narcissists hate women. Nothing can be further from the truth, from my experience. All the narcissists in my life ADORED women, they were addicted to women, they worshipped women. My ex-husband couldn't live without women - many women.


Narcissists abhor and dread getting emotionally intimate. The cerebral ones regard sex as a maintenance chore, something they have to do in order to keep their Source of Secondary Narcissistic Supply (spouse or girlfriend). The somatic narcissist treats women as objects and sex as a means of obtaining narcissistic supply.

Moreover, many narcissists tend to FRUSTRATE women. They refrain from having sex with them, tease them and then leave them, resist the flirtatious and seductive behaviors of females and so on. Often, they invoke the existence of a girlfriend/fiancée/spouse (or boyfriend/etc. – male and female are interchangeable in my texts) as the "reason" why they cannot have sex or develop a relationship. But this is not out of loyalty and fidelity in the empathic and loving sense. This is because they wish (and often succeed) to sadistically frustrate the interested party.

But this pertains only to cerebral narcissists - not to somatic narcissists and people who suffer from HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder). These use their bodies, sexuality, and seduction/flirtation to extract narcissistic supply from others.

Some narcissists are raised by weak or inaccessible mothers and harsh, rigid, or sadistic fathers. They tend to bond with males in male settings (army, sports, police, bodybuilding, the Catholic Church) and to seek empathy, warmth, support, secure friendship, and love among their male peers. This macho bonding masks repressed and latent homosexual tendencies, the result of incestuous or simply pathologically excessive love towards the father (or father figure).

Terrified of these homosexual tendencies, these narcissists are besieged by feelings of guilt (towards their mothers with whom they compete for the father's affection) and inadequacy (they can never quite measure up to the father's standards). They become extreme and virulent misogynists. By hating women and defying them - they hate and defy life itself (women being the givers of life). They thus deny their effeminate self and exercise their self-destructive impulses.

Narcissists are misogynists. They team up with women as mere sources of SNS (secondary narcissistic supply). The woman's chores are to accumulate past Narcissistic Supply and release it in an orderly manner, so as to regulate the fluctuating flow of primary supply. In other words, the woman's chore is to bear witness to the narcissist's moments of glory and recount them to him when he is down.

Otherwise, cerebral narcissists are not interested in women. Most of them are asexual (engage in sexual acts very rarely, if at all). They hold women in contempt and abhor the thought of being really intimate with them. Usually, they choose submissive women, well below their level, to perform the aforementioned functions.

This leads to a vicious cycle of neediness, self-contempt (“how come I am dependent on this inferior woman”) and aggression directed at the woman. Hence the abuse. When primary Narcissistic Supply is available – when the narcissist is the center of attention - the woman in his life is hardly tolerated. The narcissist interacts with her minimally, as one reluctantly pays the premium on an insurance policy.

The narcissist does regard the "subjugation" of an attractive woman to be a source of narcissistic supply.

It is a status symbol, a proof of virility, and it allows him to engage in "vicarious" narcissistic behaviors (allows him to be his narcissistic self through others, to transform others into tools at the service of his narcissism, into his extensions). This is done by employing defence mechanisms such as projective identification.

To re-iterate, Primary Narcissistic Supply (NS) is any kind of NS provided by people who are not "meaningful" or "significant" others. Adulation, attention, affirmation, fame, notoriety, sexual conquests – are all forms of Primary NS.

Secondary NS emanates from people who are in constant and repetitive touch with the narcissist. It includes the important roles of narcissistic accumulation and narcissistic regulation, among others.

The narcissist believes that being in love IS actually going through the motions and pretending. To him, emotions are mimicry and pretence.

He says: "I am a conscious misogynist. I fear and loathe women and tend to ignore them to the best of my ability. To me they are a mixture of hunter and parasite."

Most male Narcissists are misogynists. After all, they are the warped creations of women. Women gave birth to them and molded them into what they are: dysfunctional, maladaptive, emotionally dead. They are angry at their mothers and, by extension, mad at all women.

The narcissist's attitude to women is, naturally, complex and multi-layered but it revolves around four axes:

1. The Holy Whore
2. The Hunter Parasite
3. The Frustrating Object of Desire
4. Uniqueness Roles

The narcissist divides all women to saints and whores. He finds it difficult to have sex ("dirty", "forbidden", "punishable", "degrading") with feminine significant others (spouse, intimate girlfriend). To him, sex and intimacy are mutually exclusive rather than mutually expressive propositions. Sex is reserved to "whores" (all other women in the world).

This distinction resolves his constant cognitive dissonance ("I want her but...", "I don't need her but..."). It also legitimizes his sadistic urges (abstaining from sex is a major and recurrent narcissistic "penalty" inflicted on female "transgressors"). It tallies well with the frequent idealization-devaluation cycles the narcissist subjects his women to. The idealized females are sexless, the devalued ones – "deserving" of their degradation (sex) and the contempt that, inevitably, follows thereafter.

The narcissist believes firmly that women are out to "hunt" men and that this is almost a genetic predisposition. As a result, he feels threatened (as any prey would). This, of course, is an intellectualization of the real, absolutely opposite, state of things: the narcissist feels threatened by women and tries to justify this irrational fear by imbuing women with "objective" qualities which make them, to his mind, ominous.

This is a small detail in a larger canvass of "pathologizing" others in order to control them. According to the narcissist’s scenario, once her prey is secured, the woman assumes the role of a "body snatcher". She absconds with the narcissist's sperm, she generates an endless stream of demanding and nose dripping children, she financially bleeds the men in her life to cater to her needs and to the needs of her dependants. Put differently, she is a parasite, a leech, whose sole function is to suck dry every man she finds and Tarantula-like decapitate them once no longer useful. This, of course, is exactly what the narcissist does to people. Thus, his view of women is a projection.

Heterosexual narcissists desire women as any other red-blooded male does (even more so due to the special symbolic nature of the woman in the narcissist's life – humbling a woman in acts of faintly sadomasochistic sex is a way of getting back at mother). But he is frustrated by his inability to meaningfully interact with them, by their apparent emotional depth and powers of psychological penetration (real or attributed) and by their sexuality.

Their incessant demands for intimacy are perceived by the narcissist as a threat. He recoils instead of getting closer. The cerebral narcissist also despises sex and is bored by it, as we said before. Thus, caught in a seemingly intractable repetition complex, in approach-avoidance cycles, the narcissist becomes furious at the source of his frustration. Some of them set out to do some frustrating of their own. They tease (passively or actively), or they pretend to be asexual and, in any case, they turn down, rather cruelly, any attempt by a woman to court them and to get closer.

Sadistically, narcissists tremendously enjoy their ability to frustrate the desires, passions and sexual wishes of women. It endows them with a feeling of omnipotence. Narcissists regularly frustrate all women sexually – and frustrate the significant women in their lives both sexually and emotionally. Somatic narcissists simply use women as objects and then discard them. The emotional background is identical. While the cerebral narcissist punishes through abstention – the somatic narcissist penalizes through excess.

The narcissist's mother kept behaving as though the narcissist was and is not special (to her). The narcissist's whole life is a pathetic and pitiful effort to prove her wrong. The narcissist constantly seeks confirmation from others that he IS special – in other words that he IS.

Having sex with women threatens the success of this quest because it is "bestial" and "common". There is nothing "special or unique" about sex. Women keep dragging the narcissist to their level, the level of the lowest common denominator of intimacy, sex and human emotions.

Anybody can love, copulate and breed, says the narcissist to himself. These emotions and activities d not set me apart and above others. And yet women seem to be interested ONLY in these pursuits. Thus, the narcissist is led to believe that women are the continuation, by other means and in different guises, of his mother - this early robber of his uniqueness.

The narcissist hates women virulently, passionately and uncompromisingly. His hate is primal, irrational, the progeny of mortal fear and sustained abuse. Granted, most narcissists learn how to suppress, disguise, even repress these untoward feelings. But their hatred does get out of control and erupt from time to time. It is a terrifying, paralyzing sight - the true face of the narcissist.

To live with a narcissist is an arduous and eroding task. Narcissists are atrabilious, infinitely pessimistic, bad-tempered, paranoid and sadistic in an absent-minded and indifferent manner. Their daily routine is a rigmarole of threats, complaints, hurts, eruptions, moodiness and rage. The narcissist rails against slights true and imagined. He alienates people. He humiliates them because this is his only weapon against the humiliation wrought by their indifference.

Gradually, wherever he is, the narcissist’s social circle dwindles and then vanishes. Every narcissist is also a schizoid, to some extent. A schizoid is not a misanthrope. He does not necessarily hate people - he simply does not need them. He regards social interactions as a nuisance to be minimized.

The narcissist is torn between his need to obtain narcissistic supply (from human beings) - and his fervent wish to be left alone. This wish is peppered with contempt and feelings of superiority.

There are fundamental conflicts between counter-dependence and contempt, neediness and devaluation, seeking and avoiding, turning on the charm to attract adulation and being consumed by wrathful reactions to even the most minuscule "provocations". These conflicts lead to rapid cycling between gregariousness and self-imposed ascetic seclusion.

Such an unpredictable but always bilious and festering atmosphere is hardly conducive to love or sex. Gradually, both become extinct. Relationships are hollowed out. Imperceptibly, the narcissist switches to a non-sexual co-habitation.

But the vitriolic environment that the narcissist creates is only one hand of the equation. The other hand is his unfortunate female partner.

As we said, heterosexual narcissists are attracted to women, but simultaneously repelled, horrified, bewitched and provoked by them. They seek to frustrate and humiliate them. Psychodynamically, the Narcissist probably visits upon them his mother's sins - but such an instant explanation does the subject great injustice.

Most narcissists are misogynists. Their sexual and emotional lives are perturbed and chaotic. They are unable to love in any true sense of the word - nor are they capable of developing any measure of intimacy. Lacking empathy, they are unable to offer to the partner emotional sustenance.

Do narcissists miss loving, would they have liked to love and are they angry with their parents for crippling them so?

To the narcissist, these questions are incomprehensible. There is no way he can answer them. Narcissists never love. They do not know what is it that they are supposedly missing. Observing it from the outside, love seems to them to be a risible pathology. They equate love with weakness. They hate being weak and they hate and despise weak people (such as the very old, the sick, the poor, and the very young). They do not tolerate what they consider to be stupidity, disease and dependence - and love seems to be comprised of all three. These are not sour grapes. They really feel this way.

Narcissists are angry men - but not because they never experienced love and probably never will. They are angry because they are not as powerful, awe inspiring and successful as they wish they were and, to their mind, deserve to be. Because their daydreams refuse so stubbornly to come true. Because they are their worst enemy. And because, in their unmitigated paranoia, they see adversaries plotting everywhere and feel discriminated against and contemptuously ignored.

Many of them (the “borderline” narcissists) cannot conceive of a life in one place with one set of people, doing the same thing, in the same field with one goal within a decades-old game plan. To them, this is the equivalent of dying. They are most terrified of boredom and whenever faced with its daunting prospect, they inject drama, or even danger, into their lives. This is the only way they feel alive.

The narcissist is a lonely wolf. He is a shaky platform, indeed, on which to found a family.

Source: http://samvak.tripod.com/6.html

Friday, December 18, 2009


I have been wearing a hematite ring on my right ring finger for the past few months. It has survived everything, absorbing much bad energy. Yesterday I saw my energy worker. She said that ring has done its duty and it is time for me to respect it by burying it and gave me the proper herbs. She gave me a new ring-- a rainbow ring--which I am wearing on my left middle finger.

The fingers which we choose to wear rings are very significant and hold meaning.

Rings and the fingers they are worn on

Rings consist of jewelry items worn around the finger of a person for various purposes. The materials used to obtain these jewelry pieces are also various, ranging from wood, bone or plastic to glass, gemstones, precious metals or who knows what else. The materials used for fabrication may also be combined, a common combination being precious metals with a gemstone.

Rings consist of circles. In every culture around the world the circle symbolizes unity, eternity, power or any other significance that can be drawn from its perfect shape. Each culture has its own variations of this perfect circle worn around a finger.

Magic and myth is also associated with these jewelry items. They were believed to be related to the sun, moon and gods, thus giving this small item the power to protect the one who wears it. Those ancient beliefs are the ones that still influence the way we wear the rings today.

Since you have two hands, it is also very important on which hand you wear a ring. Each hand is believed to be a level of one's mind. For instance the left hand is a representation of one's subconscious, which consists of beliefs, attitude and instinct. The right hand, a reflection of the conscious state of mind, also depicts the logic and awareness of the things around us.

The significance of each hand is also very important when it comes to wearing a ring. If one should choose to wear a ring on the left hand, they wish to enhance the powers of the finger on which the ring is worn. If the choice would be the right hand, then the wearer desires to control life and the actions within it.

This brings us to the fingers and their significance when a ring is worn. First of all the one with the greatest importance, the thumb an independent finger that works together with all the others in order to grant us our freedom. This is a symbol of will power, freedom and independence of action and thoughts, something that defines us as humans.

The index finger, the one next to the thumb is also very important. This is a great example of power and authority, something that can be seen throughout history. Wearing a ring on this finger is something associated with ambition and leadership.

At the center of one's hand is the middle finger. This is mainly associated with the role we play in our entire life. It symbolizes our identity and the things central in our world. Whoever wears rings on this finger is usually very balanced, but seeks to be in the center of attention.

The fourth finger, the one commonly known as the ring finger, has a very special significance because this is the one with the direct connection to one's heart. Rings worn on this finger are a great symbol of creativity and knowing your artistic side that rests within you.

The little finger, the smallest of them all, is the link a person has with the outside world. This is the one that symbolizes our relationships with the people around us. When one wears rings on this finger they show great confidence and independence on all relationships.

Source: http://afgen.com/ring_fingers.html

Monday, December 14, 2009

Today is my birthday and it is foggy outside!

What a wonderful start for today! Fog is my favorite weather!! :)

I was hoping to be in Illinois for my birthday but I am still in Atlanta. Everything happens for a reason and as it should. I came to Atlanta to sort through all my stuff. Tonight marks the 11th day in this motel room and I have accomplished a lot. Just like I did with Vegas, I am not leaving until I am done. There is no better birthday present to give myself than putting my life in order.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The last 6 months of 2009 predicted for Sagittarius

July/August 2009 Forecast


We have two Full Moon eclipses, as well as a Solar or New Moon Eclipse during July and August. The Lunar Eclipse on July 7 and August 5 are partial, thus less intense, while the Solar Eclipse is total and the most powerful of the three. The Solar Eclipse falls on July 21 and perfects a few hours after Venus squares Saturn. This should bring to a head any matters of the heart that we may be wrestling with now. Saturn tests the reality of what is actually valuable to us, and based on this we take a course of action or thinking that produces certain results in seven years.

Specifically Mercury and Venus are in aspect to Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune and Chiron. You have heard that expression "everything lined up correctly". Well this is a lot lining up, so whatever you are expecting is amplified, especially if you have planets at a 24-27 degrees of any sign. So you may as well expect something good if you are going to get a lot of it.

July 7, 9, 11 are potent opportunity days. The last week of July is also powerful for attracting what you want and for communications in general.

On August 10 pay close attention to messages to slow down. The speed picks up rapidly by August 13 and 14, when opportunities are everywhere. The Leo New Moon on August 20 features multiple oppositions and inconjunctions. Oppositions challenge us to include ourselves and others equally in our considerations, while inconjuncts require internal adjustments, inflexibility may result in discomfort or dis-ease. Good reason to take up yoga or any kind of moving and stretching!

You are being stripped down of your ego, or at least of the parts that need to be released. This process will start easing up in August, or maybe you are denying the whole thing, something both Jupiter and Neptune are both well known for. Right now these planets are conjunct so assume you are in the thick of it.

September/October 2009 Forecast


September is an action packed month, with the third in a series of five Saturn/Uranus aspects, Mercury retrograde for most of the month, and Pluto direct. The Pisces Full Moon on September on September 4 should be potent for processing new directions and getting over fears. Mercury stations retrograde on September 6 in Libra and goes direct again on September 29, having moved back into Virgo where discrimination is so important. Pluto goes direct on the 11th, same day as Venus opposes Jupiter, highlighting the difference between a good thing and too much of a good thing.

Saturn exactly opposes Uranus on September 15, the forces for stability/fear and change/chaos are most polarized, but we are getting better or more conscious of this. Lots of tight aspects, this is a call for responsibility as a change is taking place. The Sun enters Libra on the 22nd, the Autumn Equinox and the growth of Darkness.

The biggest shift in October is at the end of the month when Saturn enters Libra for the first time in 29 years. Saturn changes every sign every two and a half years, and shows where are biggest tests are, the restructuring work that needs to be done. We have completed the Virgo test, restructuring the area of your life where Virgo falls. If you have personal planets in Virgo you may feel you have been well tested these last few years, or maybe being more focused and productive. Now Libra, the area of partnering, is being tested.

The Aries or Harvest Full Moon falls on October 3. Stay grounded and flexible. Venus conjunct Saturn on the 13th starts a new cycle of testing relationships and value of what you have magnetized to yourself. Jupiter offers a powerful sense of expansion all month. The Sun enters Scorpio on the 22, time to commit and deepen partnerships.

Choose September 11 to deal with anything Venus related in your life; relationships, girlfriends, money, art. October is much more of an active month for you. You shine on October 10, you are brilliant and communicative on the 20th and you are the main attraction on the 28th. Mercury retrograde during September through your houses of friends and career may produce a change or two.

November/December 2009 Forecast


The Taurus Full Moon on November 2 is a time of decisions and intense activity, despite Taurus' normal reputation for relative calm. Neptune stations and assumes direct motion on the 4th, holding 23 degrees Aquarius for ten weeks, thus activating any planet around 23 degrees of any sign, but especially Aquarius. Starting December 2, we have three weeks without any retrograde planets, the only time this entire year that all major planets are direct and full steam ahead. Watch things that have been building up momentum fall into place now. The Scorpio New Moon on the 16th occurs along with the 1st of 3 exact Saturn square Pluto aspects. This emphasizes the Scorpionic releasing and rebirthing theme for this next month. This is a third quarter square aspect; a crisis in consciousness or a reorienting of our thinking patterns. At the very beginning of the cardinal signs of Capricorn and Libra suggests many changes taking place, a new chapter beginning globally.

In December we have 2 Full Moons as well as a New Moon, the second Full Moon is also a Lunar Eclipse on the 31st. The Gemini Full Moon December 1 coincides with Uranus assuming direct motion, this time 22 Pisces is the degree activated by Uranus during November and December. Any of your birth planets at 22 degrees of any sign will be activated by unpredictable Uranus for two months, a potent situation. The Sagittarius New Moon on December 16 aspects the Neptune, Jupiter, Chiron triple conjunction, very inspiring, things fall into place, especially with Mars trine Venus the day after. On the day before the winter solstice and the entry of the Sun into Capricorn on December 21, Mars stations to go retrograde the least often, holding 19 degrees Leo for two weeks. Mars go retrograde the least often; in Leo, we are recreating our sense of purpose. Mercury goes retrograde December 26 in Capricorn, rethink your responsibilities. The Cancer Full Moon and Partial Lunar Eclipse New Years Eve puts the emphasis on trying out new ways of doing things.

Mercury in Sagittarius mid-November signals it is time to bring your vision down to workable pieces of data that is understandable for everyone. Frustration on November 8th leads to success by November 29th. In December the 14th, 20th, 21st are key days. There are paradigm shifts for you by mid-January; also your resources are being reshuffled through March 2010.

Monday, November 30, 2009

On the road again

Flew back from Costa Rica for the holidays. Thanksgiving was wonderful! I spent time with a friend and his parents. :)

Worked at Big Al's in Peoria over the weekend. Today I start back on the road. There is a possibility that I may work at Mustang Sally's in Pennsylvania again on Tuesday night. Then I'm headed to Washington DC. After spending a night or two in DC, I'm going to Atlanta for the weekend. My favorite cat is going along with me on this roadtrip!

My life is unfolding beautifully. On a side semi-related note, today marks 3 months since I quit smoking weed. It's been longer than that since I've drank. I am happier than I have been in a long time. :-D

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Holidays are a time for....

Today is a day to be grateful. Grateful for what we have, grateful for what we do not have. The more we obsess over the little things, the more little things there will be to obsess over. So don't do that to yourself. The more grateful we are, the more positive we attract into our lives. The easiest way to improve our lives is to be grateful for the life we already have. Life really is that easy! Happy Thanksgiving!

Just because it is holiday time does not mean that everyone has good intent. Without obsessing over the bad possibilities, you should be knowledgeable regarding the common scams so you can take the appropriate precautions.

The 12 web SCAMS of Xmas

Bad greetings card ... fake e-card scam that could steal your personal details

CHRISTMAS may be the time for goodwill and peace to all men and women - but not if you're a cybercriminal.

They prefer receiving to giving and the only presents they're interested in are your personal details and bank account passwords.

The festive season is a boom time for hackers, and over the past two end-of-year holiday periods, cybercriminals have made nearly £5 BILLION according to security experts McAfee.

Senior vice president Jeff Green said: "They use their best schemes during the holidays to steal people's money, credit card information and identity. These thieves follow seasonal trends and create holiday-related websites, scams and other convincing e-mails that can trick even the most cautious users."

The risk of falling prey is small, especially if you follow the few simple tips at the end of this page.

But just remember, when bargain offers seem too good to be true, it's probably because they are. And because an email looks as innocent as little children singing Christmas carols, it doesn't mean it is.

So to help keep you safe ahead of December 25, here's the top 12 scams of Christmas as found by McAfee.

1) Charity Phishing Scams - hackers take advantage of people's generosity by sending e-mails that appear to be from legitimate charitable organisations. In reality, they are linked to fake websites designed to steal donations, credit card information and the identities of donors.

2) Fake Invoices from Delivery Services to steal your money - if you didn't buy it, then you won't receive an alert about it. So be very wary of emails that seem to be receipts or delivery notifications for stuff you've supposed to have bought. Many ask you to quote credit card details or open the forms. Either can allow a virus or Trojan Horse into your computer to steal your personal information.

3) Social Networking - when you suddenly receive an invite from a stranger to be your friend, then you know there's something dodgy going on. They're not just hoping for a kiss under the mistletoe. Cybercriminals send authentic-looking "New Friend Request" e-mails and clicking on the links can install viruses automatically on your desktop or laptop. If in doubt, leave them out.

4) Christmas E-Cards - Last Christmas, McAfee uncovered a virus masked as Hallmark e-cards, McDonald's promotions and a Coca-Cola Christmas offer. Christmas-themed PowerPoint e-mail attachments with funny virals and quizzes are also popular among cybercriminals. Be careful what you click on.

5) "Luxury" Holiday Jewellery - a new holiday campaign leads shoppers to virus-ridden sites offering "discounted" luxury gifts from Cartier, Gucci, and Tag Heuer. It may look cheap, but it will be one of the most expensive mistakes you ever make.

6) Practice Safe Holiday Shopping - if you shop and surf on open hotspots using WiFi, hackers can spy on your activity and copy personal information. McAfee advises shoppers to steer clear of using public computers or via an open WiFi network.

7) Christmas Carol Lyrics Can Be Dangerous - bogus websites are often set up to cash-in on popular searches. So just because you don't know the words to Silent Night or want a Jingle Bells ringtone, it doesn't mean the website offering either via a search engine will be safe. It can lead to adware, spyware and other potentially unwanted programs being installed.

8) Out of Work - with many UK adults victims of the recession and now unemployed, there's an upward trend of emails promising work over the holidays or money to be earned from home. When you submit your details, and pay a "set-up" fee, you could be setting up a whole lot of trouble.

9) Auction Site Fraud - auction websites can be problematic all year round but at Christmas cybercriminals flock to them to lure unsuspecting buyers. Often goods will never reach their new owner or turn out to be something completely different, or even fake.

10) Password Stealing Scams - thieves use low-cost tools to uncover a person's password and send out malware to record keystrokes as they type. It is called keylogging. Once criminals have access to one or more passwords, they gain vast access to consumers' bank and credit card details and clean out accounts within minutes. They also commonly send out spam from a user's account to their contacts to entice more victims.

11) E-Mail Banking Scams - cybercriminals trick consumers into divulging their bank details by sending official-looking e-mails from financial institutions. They ask users to confirm their account information, including a user name and password, with a warning that their account will become invalid if they do not comply. Then they often sell this information through an underground online black market.

12) Your Files for Ransom - hackers gain control of computers through several of these holiday scams. They then act as virtual kidnappers to hijack computer files and encrypt them, making them unreadable and inaccessible. The scammer holds the user's files ransom by demanding payment in exchange for getting them back.

If you've read all that and now feel more scared than Scrooge being visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, you'd be right to be wary.

But here's some tips that should keep you safe and ensure you have a Merry Christmas this year and next.

- Never click on links in e-mails, go directly to a company or charity's website by typing in the address.

- Ensure security software is up-to-date. It is the easiest way to protect your computer from malware, spyware, viruses and other threats such as phishing.

- Shop and bank on secure networks. WiFi networks used should always be password-protected so hackers cannot gain access to them and spy on online activity. Also shop on sites using secure URLs for their transactions that begin with https://, instead of http://.

- Use different passwords. Never use the same passwords for several online accounts. Diversify passwords and use a complex combination of letters, numbers and symbols.

- Try common sense. If you are ever in doubt that an offer or product is not legitimate, do not click on it.

Source: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/fun/gizmo/2747575/12-online-scams-to-watch-out-for-while-online-Christmas-shopping.html

Friday, November 20, 2009

Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?

Nick Vujicic and his attitude serve as a great examples of the celebration of life over limitations.

The human spirit can handle much more than we realize.


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Think you've got it bad?
Need some encouragement?
Fallen down?
Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?

Watch this video. It will help. Then share it with others.

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"If I fail, I try again, and again, and again..."
If YOU fail, are YOU going to try again?

It matters how you're going to FINISH...
Are you going to finish STRONG?

We are put in situations to build our character... not destroy us.

The tensions in our life are there to strengthen our convictions... not to run over us.

---------------------------------------- ------------------------

Nick is thankful for what he HAS.
He's not bitter for what he does NOT have.

I have never met a bitter person who was thankful.
I have never met a thankful person who was bitter.

In life you have a choice: Bitter or BETTER?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Sex addiction?

This is a topic I know a lot about. Generally I am good at keeping my sex-addiction in check and only "acting out" with my partner. I am currently abstinent. No more unhealthy sex.

How much do you know about sex addiction? There is a new show on TV about sex addiction rehab:

About Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew

Addiction is nothing new. Alcohol, drugs, anorexia and bulimia...the list goes on and on. Addiction goes beyond impacting personal lives; it wreaks havoc on health, lands people in jail, and tears careers to shreds. But there's another addiction out there that most people have never even heard of - more insidious, but with the same, devastating consequences. It afflicts roughly 6% of the American population and like drug and food addictions, nobody is immune to it...It's called Sex Addiction.

Now, for the first time, VH1 and the producers behind Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew will shed light on this oft-dismissed compulsion on Sex Addiction With Dr. Drew. Celebrity Rehab 1 and 2 made television history, pulling back the curtain on alcohol and drug detox as stars underwent treatment inside an actual rehab facility. Now, Dr. Drew Pinsky will pull back the bed sheets on Sex Addiction as nine new patients undergo treatment at the Pasadena Recovery Center in California.

Many people scoff when they first hear the term, "Sexual Addiction." How could anything as fun, as beautiful, and as natural as sex be considered an addiction? How could too much sex be unhealthy?

Consider ignoring all other aspects of your life while you pursue new sexual conquests - conquests that never actually satisfy you. Imagine spending nine hours a day trolling internet porn sites, or going bankrupt because of too many visits to strip clubs and prostitutes. For addicts, sex isn't even pleasurable, but rather a way to escape the pain of past loss, childhood trauma, abuse and abandonment. Like many other addictions, their habits can cost them their jobs, their marriages, even their lives.

Aided a team of the nation's foremost experts on sexual addiction, Dr. Drew will guide these patients through one of the most intensive, real-life detox and treatment programs in the world. Living together for 21 days, they'll meet with Dr. Drew in one-on-one and group therapy sessions to get to the bottom of their compulsive behavior, with cameras documenting every moment...every breakdown...and every breakthrough.

Sex Addiction With Dr. Drew isn't a moral condemnation of sex, the adult entertainment industry, or even the most prurient of kinks. Rather, it's an attempt to help nine patients whose sexual habits are spinning dangerously out of control and threatening to ruin their lives. Who will get kicked out for acting out? Who will give up and leave early? And who will find the inner strength to give in to the treatment process, take a long hard look at themselves, and pave the way for a brighter future? Ultimately, what they get out of their time in recovery is up to them, but all nine of them will, without a doubt, experience an emotional journey they never expected.

Source: http://www.vh1.com/shows/sex_rehab_with_dr_drew/series.jhtml

Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew - Peep The Full Cast

The latest Celebrity Rehab spin-off, Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, will tackle the mostly unexamined world of sex addiction. It debuts Sunday, Nov. 1 at 10/9c. More details are in the press release below, and after that, get a look at the cast of the show on set…

VH1, Dr. Drew and Irwin Entertainment have expanded their documentary series on addiction to examine one of society’s most taboo topics, sex addiction, in the upcoming series Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew. The series is set to premiere on VH1 on Sunday, November 1 at 10pm.

Addictions are nothing new, and most people are aware of those involving alcohol, drugs, and eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, but few know about and understand sex addiction. It afflicts roughly 3%-6% of the American population, and just like other addictions, its impact on personal lives can be devastating. The affliction can wreak havoc on the mental and physical health of those afflicted as well as destroy marriages, families, careers and even finances.

Dr. Drew and a team of the nation’s foremost experts on sexual addiction will guide eight patients through an intensive state of the art program. Living together for 21 days, they’ll meet with Dr. Drew in daily one-on-one and group therapy sessions in order to get to the root of their compulsive behavior.

Dr. Drew is a highly respected practicing MD, is board certified in addiction medicine and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at KECK USC School of Medicine, who will once again give viewers an unflinching look at exactly how the rehab process works and what it feels like for participants. Dr. Drew hopes to use his patients to humanize the process and show viewers that treatment is a viable way to break the cycle of addiction.

Beginning Monday, October 26 fans can catch a sneak peek of the season’s first episode on VH1.com – one week before the on-air premiere. Subsequent episodes will be available on VH1.com the morning after they air. Additional video content from Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew including extras from each episode will be available on VH1.com and on VH1 Mobile throughout the season.

Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew is executive produced by John Irwin and Bruce Toms for Irwin Entertainment. Dr. Drew Pinsky and Howard Lapides are also executive producing. Jeff Olde, Jill Holmes, and Noah Pollack are executive producers for VH1.

(FYI, that’s marriage/family therapist Jill Vermeire in the shot above with Dr. Drew.)

The eight Sex Rehab patients (along with some biographical info on them) are below…

Jennifer Ketchum (aka Penny Flame) – Porn actress / Director / Business woman

Jennifer Ketcham, 26 years old (former adult star known as Penny Flame) is now pursuing a writing career and life in production behind the lens. As an adult performer Jennifer climbed to the top winning over 5 awards and directing educational guides for Vivid. Jennifer still owns her adult website PennyFlame.com (NSFW, duh) and directed and produced all the content on there. Her latest venture has been a confessional blog documenting her struggle to move away from her adult film life as Penny towards becoming Jennie. Taking everything she learned from the show she has remained sober and has been enjoying all the beauties sobriety has to offer.

James “Jamie” Lovett – Surfer / Wakeboarder

James Lovett is one of the world’s top rated surfers and wakeboarders. Lovett, who started surfing before the age of 10, was perfecting aerials at the age of ten. At 14 years old Lovett turned professional and has since dominated the sport winning countless competitions and medals. In 2004, at the age of 17 years old, Lovett climbed his way to the top of the wake surfing when he won the Centurion World Wake Surfing Championships.

Nicole Narain – Model / Playboy Playmate

Soon after becoming Playboy’s Miss January 2002, she appeared in music videos from the likes of Diddy, Mario Wayans and Jermaine Dupri. She’s also appeared on Entourage, Mad TV and American Heiress. She reached a new level of exposure when a sex tape featuring her with Colin Farrel leaked. “That pretty much ruined my life,” she says. Lately, she has been focusing on writing. “I’m ready to purge,” she reports.

Kari Ann Peniche – Beauty queen / Model / Fashion designer

Kari Ann was Miss Oregon Teen USA 2002, competed at Miss Teen USA 2002, won Miss Oregon United States 2003 then went on to win Miss United States Teen 2003. In Nov 2004 she appeared in Playboy. Along with various movie roles, Kari was briefly engaged to Aaron Carter. Her upcoming book, Stripped, Strung Out, and Beautifully Abused, focuses on sexual abuse, domestic violence, power, control, relationships and goals. Her clothing line is Strung Out Girl.

Kendra Jade Rossi – Ex-porn star / Music manager

During her years in the porn industry, Kendra became a well known adult film star. However, she also became tabloid fodder. (Star magazine and Us Weekly accused her of breaking up Kevin Federline and Britney Spears marriage after a trip to Vegas, for example.) She finally left the adult film industry in 2001 on the verge of a complete breakdown. She fell headlong into alcoholism and was also diagnosed as an agoraphobic with severe anxiety and panic disorders, which introduced the world of prescription drug abuse.

In 2007, Kendra was introduced to Lukas Rossi, winner of Rockstar Supernova, by mutual friends, Dave Navarro and Tommy Lee - and the two immediately clicked. They married 4 months after meeting. Kendra will tell anyone who will listen that Lukas saved her life. It was his love and devotion to her that spurred her to face her personal demons and reach out for help and sobriety.

Duncan Roy - Producer / Writer / Director

Duncan directed the acclaimed 2002 film AKA. He has worked as a journalist, and teaches low-budget filmmaking at UCLA extension. See his Wikipedia page for more info.

Amber Smith – Supermodel/Reality TV star/Actress

An internationally recognized supermodel and actress for 20 years, Amber Smith, also acted in films such as L.A. Confidential, American Beauty and The Mirror Has Two Faces. She appeared on the second season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, where she went public with her 16-year addiction to opiate painkillers. On the show, Amber underwent a painful withdrawal from drugs. She also appeared on the Rehab spin-off Sober House.

Phil Varone – Musician

Phil Varone is an accomplished drummer, music producer and songwriter best known for his work with the bands Saigon Kick and Skid Row. In 2004, Phil left Skid Row and the music business to pursue acting and stand up comedy. After moving to Los Angeles, he spent the first two years producing the feature length documentary, Waking Up Dead. Phil also lectures in colleges throughout the United States and is the creator and host of the Sex Stand Up and Rock and Roll Show.

Source: http://blog.vh1.com/2009-10-06/sex-rehab-with-dr-drew-peep-the-full-cast/

Watch episodes here: http://www.vh1.com/shows/sex_rehab_with_dr_drew/series.jhtml

Friday, November 6, 2009

I finished school!! Yeah!!

It has been a very intense month. I didn't do anything in Boston other than school/homework/sleep/yoga. Gorgeous city, wish I had more time here. Now it's time to leave.

* Tomorrow (Saturday) night I am working at Mustang Sally's in Pennsylvania.
* Sunday I drive to Washington DC.
* Monday morning I go to the consulate.

By this time next week I will be in Costa Rica to apply for residency.
All my dreams are coming true! :)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Mastery Of Love

When I used to party, I surrounded myself with other people who also liked to party.
My romantic relationships were unhealthy. I didn't show myself enough love and then expected my [often unhealthy] partner to make up the difference. How ridiculous is that?

Part of being sober is healing myself in every possible way. Over the past month I've been in an intense school program. During my very limited free time (mostly while traveling to and from school), I read The Mastery of Love. It is the second book in a three part series. Last year, I posted about the first book: The Four Agreements.

Here are a few quotes from The Four Agreements:
If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her.

We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make.

If you live in a past dream, you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is.

When you don't do your best you are denying yourself the right to be you.

The Mastery of Love is amazing. Here are some quotes from the first half which I feel compelled to share:
The need to be "right" is the result of trying to protect the image we want to project to the outside. We have to impose our way of thinking, not just onto other humans, but even upon ourselves.

In our mind we create that part of us that is always judging. ... There is always something the Judge can never accept or forgive. ... That is why we never deserve to be happy; that is why we are always searching for someone who abuses us, someone who will punish us. We have a very high level of self-abuse because of that image of perfection. ... You are no longer a child, and if you have an abusive relationship, it is because you accept that abuse, because you believe you really deserve it.

You cannot change other people. You love them or you don't. You accept them the way they are or you don't. To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse.

The one who loves you, loves you just the way you are. Because if someone wants to change you, it means you are not what that person wants.

If you cannot love your partner the way she is, someone else can love her just as she is. Don't waste your time, and don't waste your partner's time. This is respect.

Heal your half, and you are going to be happy. If you can heal that part of you, then you are going to be ready for a relationship without fear, without need. But remember, you can only heal your half.

If you can learn to control your own reactions, then you can change your routines, and you can change your life.

... You have to stalk your own reactions; you have to work with yourself every moment. It takes a lot of time and courage, because it is easier to take things personally and react the way you always react. And that leads you to a lot of mistakes, to a lot of suffering and pain, because your reactions only generate more emotional poison and increase the drama.

While you can just jump into the second book, reading the first book FIRST really does set up a solid foundation. The third book in the set is The Voice of Knowledge.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Shon Meckfessel's letter to the President of Iran

A Letter to Ahmadinejad

H.E. Mr. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
President of the Islamic Republic of Iran
Tehran, Iran

November 2, 2009

Dear Mr. President,

I am writing to appeal to you to intercede with the appropriate authorities for the immediate release of my friends Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Josh Fattal from detention in Iran.

I traveled from Damascus to Iraqi Kurdistan on vacation with Shane, Sarah and Josh in July. Several of our friends in Damascus had previously visited northern Iraq and recommended that we too make the trip to a region they told us was beautiful, peaceful and safe. We set out the day after celebrating the wedding of local friends at Shane and Sarah's apartment and had planned to be away for one week. That was three months ago.

Had I not had a cold and remained behind at our hotel when my friends hiked to the Ahmed Awa waterfall near your country's border, I would undoubtedly be in detention with them now. I was, in fact, en route to meet them when I received Shane's call that they had been taken into custody.

On August 6, I published a statement about our trip to northern Iraq which I attach to this letter. I had hoped the statement might clarify why we were in the area and help the authorities understand that Shane, Sarah and Josh had no intention of entering Iran. As I said in that statement, if they did so, it was because of a simple and very regrettable mistake.

Since then, I have maintained silence in deference to the investigation. As much as my friends' absence has been acutely painful, I understood that investigators would want to clarify the circumstances of their trip. I had hoped that the misunderstanding would be resolved quickly. Three months have now passed, and I cannot imagine what more the Iranian authorities might have to learn about my friends or what they were doing in the area. To help put to rest any such questions, I would like to offer to submit a notarized statement to your country's mission to the United Nations vouching for my friends and detailing the circumstances of our trip. If this is not sufficient, I would be willing to come to Tehran to attest to their characters in person.

Mr. President, by continuing to deprive Shane, Sarah and Josh of their liberty, Iran is working against some of the very causes it supports. Each of these three has a long and public record of contesting injustice in the world and addressing some of the inequities between rich and poor which you have spoken about through their humanitarian work in their own country and overseas.

I first met Shane in October 2005, after we had corresponded about our common interest in the Balkans, where I had lived for a time and where Shane had worked for one year in "Balkan Sunflowers," an independent organization helping Albanian and Roma youth in post-war Kosovo. Back in the United States, Shane continued his work with the underprivileged, as illustrated by his excellent "Hotel Poverty" photographic essay for the San Francisco Chronicle, and his article "Divorcing the US," from a trip we took to the poorest county in our country.

As a fluent speaker of Arabic, Shane has focused on injustices in the Arab world, in Iraq and Palestine in particular. The Christian Science Monitor published Shane's January 7 interview with Musa Abu Marzook, the only English-language interview with a Hamas leader during Israel's attack on Gaza. Two of his articles on the American occupation of Iraq were published as cover stories of major magazines just this summer.

Sarah and I met, by coincidence, the month after Shane and I met, when we found ourselves in the same car from San Francisco to New Orleans to help poor people begin to rebuild their homes after Hurricane Katrina. We both appear in a documentary entitled "Solidarity Not Charity" made about our group of volunteers. In Oakland, Sarah worked for one year in "Just Cause," which helped poor people fight evictions from their homes in the US.

I met Josh a week before we left on our trip, and was immediately drawn in by his warmth and humor. In the time we spent together, I was struck by his passion for justice, environmental sustainability, and intercultural understanding, as attested by his work with the Aprovecho community in Oregon, and as a teaching fellow on a study abroad program for university students.

I would like to mention one more friend who may be relevant. Earlier in July, Shane and I traveled to an Israeli hospital to spend time with Tristan Anderson, an American peace activist with whom Shane, Sarah and I have been close friends for many years. Tristan was shot in the head and critically wounded by an Israeli soldier after attending a non-violent protest against Israel's separation wall. He continues to fight for recovery. Shane and Sarah also visited Tristan in late March with Sarah's mother Nora, a nurse who counseled Tristan's family. There's a very simple explanation for these trips: We wanted to show solidarity with a dear friend whose support for Palestinian rights has been acknowledged in the Iranian media, throughout the Middle East and beyond.

I hope that this letter will help the Iranian authorities understand the true character of my friends. They have now been in custody for almost 100 days, which I hope you agree is more than sufficient punishment for their mistake. Please do everything you can to ensure that they are immediately released into the arms of their loving friends and families, who miss them more than my words can express.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.


Shon Meckfessel

Source: http://www.thenation.com/doc/20091116/meckfessel


Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Josh Fattal have been detained in Iran since July 31, 2009, when news reports say they accidentally crossed an unmarked border while hiking in the mountains of Iraqi Kurdistan near the Ahmed Awa waterfall, a local beauty spot. They were in a peaceful region of northern Iraq that is increasingly popular with Western tourists attracted by its natural beauty, traditional culture and long history. The three hikers, all graduates of UC Berkeley, entered northern Iraq with visas from Turkey on July 28 and had planned to spend five days visiting the area. A fourth friend, Shon Meckfessel had stayed behind in Sulaimaniya when Shane, Josh and Sarah set out on their hike because he was feeling unwell.

Shane Bauer, 27, has been living in Damascus, Syria with Sarah Shourd since late 2008 and is a student of Arabic, which he speaks fluently. He is a freelance journalist whose writing and award-winning photographs have been published in the US, UK, Middle East, and Canada. Shane, who has two younger sisters, grew up in Onamia, Minnesota and graduated from UC Berkeley with a degree in Peace and Conflict Studies in 2007. Shane has reported from Syria, Iraq, Darfur in Sudan, Yemen and Ethiopia but has never reported from Iran, nor expressed any interest in doing so. He had hoped to offer photographs and a story on the aftermath of recent elections in Kurdistan to the online news network New America Media, but was not on a formal news assignment.

Sarah Shourd, 31, has been living with Shane in Damascus, where she teaches English and is learning Arabic. She previously taught as part of the Iraqi Student Project, a program which gives Iraqi students living in Damascus the skills to continue their education in US schools. She was on a break from her teaching responsibilities for a week, and she and Shane decided to take a hiking trip with their friends Josh and Shon. Sarah has written articles on travel and social issues reflecting her time in Syria, Ethiopia, Yemen and Mexico. Sarah, who has an older brother and sister, was born in Chicago, Illinois, grew up in Los Angeles, California and recently moved to the San Francisco
Bay Area.

Josh Fattal, 27, is an environmentalist who worked for three years at the Aprovecho Research Center in Cottage Grove, Oregon, which teaches sustainable living skills. From January to June 2009, Josh was a Teaching Fellow with the International Honors Program (IHP) Health and Community study abroad program in Switzerland, India, China, and South Africa. Josh and his elder brother grew up in Elkins Park, Pennsylvania. He spent his junior year of college on an IHP study abroad program in the UK, India, the Philippines, New Zealand, and Mexico and graduated from UC Berkeley in 2004 with a degree in environmental economics and policy from the College of Natural Resources. Josh was visiting Sarah and Shane in Damascus when they went on their trip.

For more information about the hikers and how you can help secure their release, please visit:

Friday, October 30, 2009

...to the Pennsylvania Gentlemen

On Saturday November 7th I will be at Mustang Sally's again for one night. Come see me! :)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Strippers use stage names for a reason: to protect their personal lives.

Someone asks me "Do you know Candy? Her real name is Tina." Assuming I didn't already know Candy's real name, this stranger just told me without giving it a second thought. It happens all the time. People like this are untrustworthy and don't respect other people's privacy.

Many strippers have 3 names--their stage name, their "real name" (also fake), and their REAL name. Refrain from asking a stripper her real name; it puts her on the spot and increases the odds of her telling you her "real name" to avoid hurting your feelings or losing you as a customer.

By waiting until she volunteers to tell you, you are showing her respect and may actually earn her REAL name. If a stripper gives a name other than her stage name, appreciate that she felt comfortable/safe enough with you to share and don't betray her confidence. If she never volunteers, don't take it personally. Strippers use stage names for a reason: to protect their personal lives.

Here is an extreme example of what not to do:

Looking in the Past - m4w - 52 (central mass)
Date: 2009-10-17, 5:09PM EDT
Reply to: pers-5uddm-1425991978@craigslist.org

I have tried this once before and of course I got a bunch of spammers so unless you do have some real info, fuck off. I am only interested in information about a Russian Exotic Dancer who worked at the Foxy Lady in Providence R.I. a couple of years ago, I know its a long shot but I have no other way of finding out what happened to her. Stage name was Layla, her real name was Alicia, she lived in South Boston and then as far as I know she moved to Walpole and quit dancing, went back to school (good for her) and had future plans of opening a tea shop in Boston, one of her good friends was another dancer named Tonia who lived in Bridgewater Mass. Alicia (Layla) was a tall beautiful woman with long dark hair, of course a beautiful body, I am just trying to find out some info about her, so if someone sees this add, let me know.

Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/mis/1425991978.html

DON'T EVER DO THIS!!! If someone tells you a something personal/private you should not share that information with anyone else. Period! Even if you suspect that person tells everyone their secrets, when you are told something in confidence you should always be honourable and not tell anyone else.

(Leaving for yoga class now.. hehe....)

Friday, October 16, 2009

sometimes addiction rules

Considering I no longer drink/smoke weed/eat bad and have chosen sexual abstinence, my addiction to Craigslist is sometimes a reasonable outlet for stress relief. Yes I know I don't have spare time with school and all but after posting this I will turn off the computer and go back to life. Lol....

Here is an ad I found which I want to share with whomever reads my blog:

I'm sorry and you're all the man I'll ever want - w4m
Date: 2009-10-15, 5:55PM PDT
Reply to: pers-hvsvw-1423420891@craigslist.org

You have serious mental issues, buddy. When good men behave badly (and pay REAL GOOD attention here) IT IS BECAUSE THEY AREN'T REALLY GOOD MEN AT ALL. They are just fooling themselves and trying to fool everyone else. See, good men don't behave badly. Oh, sure, they mess up stuff now and again like forget gas for the lawn mower three weekends in a row, leave their clothes all over the floor for someone else to pick up. stuff like that. That's a good man behaving badly. What you are talking about transcends the definition of good and badly, kind of skews the pooch, as it were. Get over yourself and fast. Women aren't responsible for your behavior, YOU ARE. We are just responsible for ours, which means we notice yours.

Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/1423420891.html

Then, as if none of that just happened... Good morning! :-)
Time for me to jump in the shower and get ready for yoga class.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Life always works out as it should

Found a place to live in Boston for the next month! My roommates are cool, the neighborhood is awesome, and I am happy. :-D

School is wonderfully INTENSE. Warning for my blog readers: this translates into "I will not have much time to post or be online until after graduation".

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Typing this from my Boston hotel room

Last night I worked at Mustang Sally's. Different vibe than I'm used to, I liked it. It is a "no touch" nude BYOB club in Pennsylvania. The dancers were very friendly and there was almost no hustle at all. If you missed me this time and are in that area, check my blog often as I will be going back one more night sometime in November.

School starts tomorrow. **BIG SMILE** I am excited!!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Quality, not quantity

We attract those into our life who are like us or need to fill a need in our lives. I no longer believe most people are evil and therefore don't need friends who are sneaky or dishonest in order to covertly learn about this "other side". Doing so has backfired on me in the past and attracted negative elements into my life; I won't continue negative patterns.

From now on I only keep friends who are in line with my integrity. If someone is not, I will create space between us until we are nothing more than acquaintances. I apologize to anyone who is/becomes phased out of my life; it isn't personal against you. Instead this is required for me to remain true to myself and lovingly share my truth with others.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


Today my big brother gets married! I am on the west coast for his ceremony. The last time our entire family got together was 4 1/2 years ago for my sister's funeral. Not happy circumstances. This time we will all be in good spirits and will have an awesome day!

Ironically, today is also the 4 year anniversary of my "Speed Racer" passing away. He was a very good man. I am very thankful my brother chose today to get married (completely by coincidence). Now this emotionally difficult date will have new positive memories and meaning for me.

Time to start getting ready. Must show up early to pose for family photos. :-D

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My dreams are reality

YES!!! I am registered for school in Boston! While I still have no clue where I'll be staying, school is paid in full. :-D

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I am working at Wild Orchid in Reno

Beautiful club, very friendly dancers and staff.

Big Al's in Peoria is my Midwest club and Wild Orchid in Reno may become my primary west coast club whenever I'm not in Vegas.

Friday, September 18, 2009

$25,000 Reward Justice for Brandon

It's now almost been a full year since this innocent man was murdered and his killer is still at large.

He was a kind and peaceful soul (I am very close with his family). Please contact the police if you know anything and donate if you can.

For more information, video coverage, or to donate via Paypal please go directly to this website: http://www.justiceforbrandon.com/

Brandon Lee Evans, 20 years old, was a graduate of Scripps Ranch High School in San Diego. He decided to move to San Francisco in early November to attend college and pursue his interest in music. On November 29th, Brandon went to Golden Gate with some friends to listen to music. Near the end of the event, Brandon left the crowd to get his cell phone from his car. While he was gone, his friends thought they heard fireworks, but quickly came to realize the horror that it was actually gunfire. One of Brandon’s roommates rushed to see if his friend was okay. He was not. Sadly, Brandon had been shot in the back and died en route to the hospital.

Brandon’s mother and his two brothers would like to find justice. They have established a fund to raise money to post signs and billboards to advertise the SFPD Reward and are seeking contributions to assist with this costly endeavor. If you would like to help make this happen, please consider making a contribution to the fund. All amounts are appreciated and increase the chance of Brandon’s killer(s) being found.

Checks made payable to “Christine Evans for Brandon Evans” may also be mailed to:
Terri Dirkse, CPA
Attn: Justice for Brandon
10755-F Scripps Poway Pkwy #554
San Diego, CA 92131

People with information that might be relevant, should contact:
Inspector Brian Delahunty
(415) 553-1336

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

No more procrastination here.

Removed this quote from my personal Myspace today:
"Procrastination is always a flaw I can fix tomorrow." Why?
Because I have CHOSEN! My dreams are my reality.

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough,
likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated,
open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong,
does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident,
controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food,
social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Boston is realistic

Ok! Class is October 12 - November 6 so I expect to live in Boston October 9th-November 9th. The cat problem is resolved! My friend in Peoria offered to babysit them for the month. :)

As far as the money goes..... I need to come up with $3000 by September 28th to enroll in classes and buy airline tickets. Then I'll have another week to earn the additional $2500 living expenses and still arrive in Boston by October 9th. If I don't make all the money I need for living expenses by that time I can always strip while in Boston (this is last case scenario as I'd prefer to focus 100% of my attention on school). It may be tough but totally possible.

Tomorrow I leave for Burning Man. The soonest I can be back in Peoria is September 19th and only have 12 days or so before I'd have to leave to attend a wedding. Hmmmmm...... Should I stay on the West Coast and work in Vegas until Boston? That would maximize my earning days. Hmmmm...

I have a lot to think about. Most of my thinking time will be at Burning Man where I there is no contact with the "outside" world. Last year I learned a lot about my self during this week. This year I am using this time to do the same. By the end of the week I will know what is best for my future.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Boston Language Institute

Leaving for Burning Man any day. Afterwards, I'm going to the Costa Rica Consulate in LA with paperwork to start the process for residency. :)

The only thing I still don't have is my TEFL certification. For the past year and a half I've been trying to coordinate with a school in Costa Rica with no luck. So...I researched online and found the perfect school for me...and it's it the U.S.--The Boston Language Institute.

Boston! This will be a fun adventure. :) July 4th 2005 is the only time I've ever been to Boston. Gorgeous city, friendly people. It will be fun to live there for a month. (Hmmm, where will my cats live while I'm in Boston?)

A leader in Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL*), The Boston Language Institute offers a unique program for those interested in teaching English both in the United States and abroad. Since 1981, The Boston Language Institute has set trends in the field of language teaching and, since 2000, in the field of English language teacher training. Our program has been described by The Wall Street Journal as "...one of the better-known programs in the country."

The TEFL Certificate Program presents trainees with an opportunity to learn interactively through skill-building activities. Our highly-skilled and dedicated teacher trainers will work with you to identify your strengths and overcome your challenges as a teacher.

The small class size – 12 students maximum – coupled with the Institute's nearly 30-year commitment to client service allows for the unique level of personal attention that's a hallmark of our programs. At The Boston Language Institute, you will learn to create your own teaching materials as you present practice teaching sessions to actual ESL students. In addition, while learning how to teach the five unique skills of language acquisition, you will develop an effective classroom management style, review English grammar, explore Business English, investigate cross-cultural issues and hone job finding strategies, whether in TESL or TEFL.

Our internationally acclaimed TEFL Certificate Program is available as a 4-week intensive course. About 1200 people have completed our program and our graduates are teaching all over the world, forming a network of alumni at the service of more recent graduates.

The Boston Language Institute's internationally recognized TEFL Certificate is awarded at the completion of the program. In order to earn the certificate, you must attend and participate in all course modules, successfully teach six class hours and complete a final project, which becomes your portfolio. All graduates receive a letter of recommendation and ongoing career support.

Class dates:
October 12 - November 6
November 9 - December 9

The tuition, including all class materials and deposits, is $2,645.00.
It will probably cost another $2500/month for living expenses.

Since I am planning to dance this winter in Peoria, attending the Oct 12-Nov 6 class would be best.

I must do this. How do I come up with $5000?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Worst Sin

Usually betrayal is where you believe someone is one way yet later find out they were lying, "wearing a mask" for you, or have multiple personalities.

That is why I love this video. Since I haven't seen the movie from which it was compiled, the words and images perfectly portray betrayal.

Someone I know once said that betrayal is the worst thing in the world. At the time I assumed he meant betrayal by another person and openly disagreed by saying "regretting not doing what you truly want to do" is the worst thing. We were both right. Betrayal is the worst.....yet betraying your true self is much worse than betrayal from another.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Yay for internet !!

I want to apologize for having such a long gap between this and my last post. For the past 6 weeks I haven't had internet access so for the next two weeks I will upload backdated posts to cover this gap. After that I will be off to Burning Man and then who knows where. This will be my second year and I am sooooooooo excited! Currently I am in Northern California visiting family and friends. Life is an adventure!! :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Leaving Peoria

It was a wonderful visit. Big Al's reminds me of Crazy Horse Too: fun club, great staff. I enjoy it here so much that I'm planning to come back and live/work here.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Over the weekend I went to Chicago for the first time. Highlights of the trip: Museum of Science and Industry and Lou Malnati's Pizza (recommend both!).

Friday, July 10, 2009

Peoria, Illinois

For the next month I'll be working at World Famous Big Al's!
It is a full nude full alcohol club.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Definition of integrity

Integrity comes from the Greek words 'integritas' and 'integra' meaning whole. It enters into any aspect of one's life. It's belief system without faltering no matter how dangerous, how unpopular the person makes themselves to others. It includes: sincerity, keeping one's word and agreements, honesty, truthfulness, ethics, fairness and justice, punctuality and never faltering for what one believes in. A quote regarding integrity is 'It is better to have an enemy who keeps his word, than a friend who does not.'

Life is too short to cheat yourself out of or waste on other people. Choose your friends and partners well. Integrity is mandatory.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hold off on making any major travel plans today: too much is up in the air.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

It's a good time to bet on yourself -- you're in the right place at the right time, and ought to be able to get pretty far today! If it feels like a risk, you are almost certainly heading in the right direction.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

Monday, April 6, 2009

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Expats in Costa Rica

Chapter 01 - Why Move To Costa Rica
Follow newly retired Andy and Fran on their mission of discovery as they make plans to move to Costa Rica.

Chapter 02 - Heading to Costa Rica
As they get ready to leave for the airport, Fran and Andy candidly discuss their plans and concerns regarding their anticipated move to Costa Rica.

Chapter 03 - The Due Diligence Tour
Andy and Fran begin touring Costa Rica's Central Valley as they do their due diligence in preparation for their move to the Central American country.

Chapter 04 - The Tour Rages On
The organized tour has comes to a close. Fran and Andy are now on their own. Their primary mission... secure their Costa Rican Drivers License.

Chapter 05 - The Klippers of Esparza
It was time to kick back and meet our new friends we met while researching this trip. Say hello to Deb and Rob Klipper of Esparza. You already know her as Gringatica2003 on the ARCR Forum.

Chapter 06 - Why Costa Rica
Andy and Fran candidly discuss some of their reasons for moving to Costa Rica as well as focusing on how to cope with being so far removed from friends and family.

Chapter 07 - Safety Concerns In Costa Rica
Andy and Fran discuss issues related to personal safety in Costa Rica.

Chapter 08 - Researching You Move To Costa Rica
Look before you leap! There is no subsitution for good research.

Chapter 09 - Healthcare Concerns in Costa Rica
The ability to retire at our age is 100% related to the cost of providing healthcare protection. In the US, the costs are too prohibitive. Our ONLY recourse is to retire in Costa Rica.

Chapter 10 - The Challenge of Transportation
Driving in Costa Rica (at best) is a challenge. Do you attempt the task of driving the crazy roads of Costa Rica or leave that chore to a professional?

Chapter 11 - Licensed to Drive
The continued adventures of Fran and Andy as they navigate their way to getting their Costa Rican drivers license.

No Chapter 12

Chapter 13 - It's always mañana in Costa Rica
If you are a Type A personality (like me) and you want to succeed in Costa Rica... better think twice and consider behavior modification!