About Me

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When you fail to follow your dreams, you cheat yourself out of being you.
Be proud of who you are and don't back down.
Be a winner at the game of life!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gratitude. Thanksgiving is more than just "Turkey Day"; it is a day to be thankful for what we have. Even when things aren't ideal in your life, they can always be worse. Instead of focusing on the bad, be grateful for everything that is RIGHT.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My new plan

Always eat healthy
* Follow the "Eat Clean" Diet

Go to the gym 5 days per week
* 30 minutes of cardio minimum
* 30 minutes of weights or 45 minutes of sauna/pool
* One day per week take a class (yoga, bellydance)


This format will be easier to read:

Stop having sex with my ex boyfriend
Stop reading the Craigslist Casual Encounters section
NO MORE FAST FOOD!! At all, none. No exceptions.

Meditate/pray for 15 minutes
Spend quality time with my pets
Read for 15-30 minutes
Eat healthy -- Eat "Clean"
* oatmeal/smoothies for breakfast
* Veggie wraps for lunch
* Fish/Chicken/Hummus with vegetables for dinner
Exercise for 30-90 minutes (weights, cardio, yoga/bellydance)
Work 8 hours (either at my job or at home unloading boxes, building websites, etc)
Get plenty of sleep so always well-rested and refreshed

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Playing God: The Game That Keeps on Giving

Found this blog and it reminds me of someone. Wonder if he realized that this is how he acts. Anyway, here is the link: http://cruelvirgin.blogspot.com


Playing God: The Game That Keeps on Giving

I'm finishing up teaching The Epic of Gilgamesh. Basically, it is about a man who plays God, then journeys toward reintegrating his humanity through a close friendship, war, angering the real gods and seeking out immortality via the lands of the dead. I tell my students: "Epics are very specific when it comes to humans and divinity. The gods always win. Don't even try to imitate them. Yet we all do so at some point or another in our lives."

How do you know when someone is playing God? Look for the following:

1. They think in terms of power, not responsibility.

2. They enjoy taking advantage of weakness.

3. They consider themselves superior to everyone else.

4. They do awful things to people because they know they can get away with it.

5. Since they are so busy playing God, they cannot identify with human pain or joy.

6. They forget that authority is a privilege, not a right.

7. They abuse the community instead of serving it.

8. They are probably among the loneliest people in life.

In The Epic of Gilgamesh, the king is a despot: he takes virgins from their husbands on their wedding night because the law allows him to do so--HIS LAW! He kills young men because it is fun. He oppresses the people so harshly that they cry out to the real gods for relief. Even though he is partly divine (his mother is a goddess), his fate lies with mankind, and it scares the shit out of him. What do frightened people do? They mask their fears by making others afraid.

I'm sure you all know folks like this. How many have a boss who believes he is God? How about a wife or husband? Children often think they are God. Celebrities are told they are God. We are saying goodbye to a president and sidekick who see themselves as God. Dictators play God. Eventually the real God will stand up and give these wannabes a kick in the pants, but the damage is done. I have found that these tyrannical junkies create 3 kinds of people: those who identify with the oppressor; those who choose to avoid the damaging behavior and those who become a hybrid of the two.

The first kind may repeat the patterns of their overbearing father or mother. The second kind may be so afraid of their id that they consciously devote themselves to selfless service. The third are the most dangerous because they aren't self-aware; they think they are nice people--perhaps they are, but these traits come out in insidious ways. A friend of mine stopped giving massages because she got too many men who asked her to scratch their face, twist their privates and so on. Their masochism became a camouflage for hurting others. A few assert authority through gossip; they smile at you, but behind your back, your name is mud--pretty soon everyone knows more about you than you know about yourself. Some see firearms as a source of power--I understand responsible gun ownership, but genuine power comes from within, not from an object that kills living things. I know way too many people who claim to own guns for protection, but they never go to the range to practice. They can't even tell you the kickback intensity of the weapon. They don't really want to shoot anyone, so they hope that the criminal will roll over and play dead once that mean machine enters the scene. I used to bug my husband about buying a gun until he said: "The only way I will ever train you to use a weapon is if you can convince me that you are ready to kill another person without hesitation--even if you are in the wrong." What? You mean like murdering people? "No," he said. " But you are ready to accept the consequences if the person you killed happened to be innocent."

Gilgamesh learned that he needed to serve his people, not scare them. Once he ceased to fear his inner demons, he learned compassion. All of us have the potential to play God. But we are better off leaving the job to the one who knows how to do it.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

What do you say when someone dies?

So far during my life a handful of people whom I loved very much and were close to me have died. Most people don't know how to react after a death. Knowing now how to be a supportive friend through loss is an important social skill. Acting inappropriately can actually hurt the survivor worse.


Words to Comfort Someone Grieving

It is interesting that the one thing we are certain about in this life is that it will end yet when that happens we are never prepared. Emotionally we just don’t seem to be well equipped to deal with such a loss, we either fall apart or head straight for denial. But, in reality, falling apart or going through denial is all part of the normal process of grieving. Grief is a normal, healthy response to loss and we need to understand how to best deal with it in order to provide comfort to someone who is grieving.

And, as a matter of fact, loss can come in many forms. As devastating as the death of a loved one can be, any life altering experience can trigger a sense or feeling of loss that will trigger the same sense of grief and will send that person through the same 7 stages of grief as experienced through the loss of a loved one. “Other losses include the loss of your health or the health of someone you care about, or the end of a relationship, such as a marriage or even friendship. Healing from a loss involves coming to terms with the loss and the meaning of the loss in your life.”

So the question is how do we deal with or what do we say to a close friend or family member who has just experienced a loss? Many of us have no idea what to say or how to handle the situation. It is difficult to know what words you should say to comfort someone grieving. I think it is natural to feel uncomfortable and unsure in this type of situation. We have so much fear wrapped up around death or any kind of loss in our society that it is difficult to know how to handle our own emotional response much less know how to support another person who is grieving. But, there are simple and effective ways to help someone who is coping with loss.

Below is a simple list of DO’s and DON’TS that you may find helpful when dealing with someone who is experiencing a loss:


Act natural. I know you may not feel comfortable but the more uncomfortable you are the harder it is on the grieving individual.

Allow the person to talk about his grief and express his or her feelings. Try to listen without offering advice or interrupting. The worse thing you can do is start talking about yourself. Focus on LISTENING and offer your love patiently and unconditionally.

Be patient with the grieving person's changing moods. It’s normal for someone who is grieving to alternate between anger, sadness, numbness and acceptance.” Give the person as much time as he or she needs to grieve. There is no time limit on grieving and telling him or her to 'get over it' or 'let it go' won't help him or her grieve any faster.

Show genuine concern and affection if the person seems open to it. Try offering hugs or an arm around the shoulder, as appropriate. If he or she seems uninterested or irritated don’t take it personally, it is a natural part of the grieving process.

Sometimes silence is what the grieving person wants. There is so much going on that a moment of peace and quiet can be the one thing they need. Sitting silently next to him or her and just being close can be very comforting.

Offer to help but be specific. It can seem overwhelming and stressful to have people keep asking what can I do to help you. When you are grieving you may have no idea what would be helpful or not. Because grief can be a confusing and overwhelming experience, suggest something specific. It is hard for many people to ask for help.

Be the one who takes the initiative to:

* Call from time to time and just to check in
* Offer to run errands or get groceries
* Drop off food don’t wait to be asked
* Stop by and baby-sit the kids
* Offer to go along to a bereavement group with them
* Go for walks or enjoy a physical activity
* Do a fun activity with them that you know they really enjoy maybe a game or going to the movies
* Encourage socializing but only when the person feels ready

Keep in mind how difficult holidays and weekends can be for them. Try to be available for support or just spending time with them on these days.

If you recognize that the grieving person is experiencing depression, urge him or her to get professional help. This is only if they seem unable to function in day-to-day life. You may want to help them set up the appointment and if they ask, go with them.

If you haven't already you may want to send some Flowers and a card it may seem like a small gesture on your part but it really means a lot to the person grieving.


Try to avoid the bereaved person. It only makes them feel more isolated and alone. This is a time that they need all the love and support you can muster. Try to put your personal discomfort aside and think about the other person.

Pry into personal matters. Allow the grieving person to share what they choose to and just be there to support them. You can ask questions but think before you talk!

Ask questions about the circumstances of the death. Talk openly about the person who passed but not necessarily the circumstances unless they bring it up.


* "I know how you feel." Truthfully, you don’t know how they feel no one does whether you have been through a loss before or not! Don’t be surprised if the turn around and scream, “YOU don’t know how I feel, no one knows how bad I feel!”

* “You should.” or “Time heals all wounds.” offering advice or quick solutions just ends up frustrating and upsetting the grieving person.

* “At least he’s no longer in pain.” or “She’s in a better place now.” Or “It was God’s timing/will.” Trying to cheer the person up or distract from the emotional intensity only helps to prolong the grieving process and may even alienate them from you.

* “Oh, it’s not that bad.” Or “You’ll be ok.” Or “Things will go back to normal before you know it.” Or “It will get better." Grieving people know this intellectually, but in their heart, they may feel so lost and alone. These statements tend to minimize the loss and could upset the grieving person and they may even feel frustrated and angry with you.

* "Just call me if there is anything I can do." In the midst of grief, you just can’t think straight and you have no idea what you need. It’s up to you to call and if the grieving person does not want to speak with anyone, he or she will not answer the phone. If they don’t answer, the phone just leave a supportive message and let them know you are thinking about them

* "Don't cry." It is uncomfortable and painful to see someone you care about cry but telling him or her not to cry only prolongs the process and does not support the natural grieving process that needs to occur.


* I am sorry
* Tell me how I can help; I want to be here for you.
* ___________ was a good person and friend of mine. I will miss him or her.
* Would you like a hug?
* Please tell me what you are feeling right now, I have never been through something like this and can only imagine.
* It's ok if you do not feel like talking right now. Just know that I am here to listen whenever you are ready.
* “I love you” (if you are close enough)
* talk openly and directly about the person who died

Supporting a friend or family member through the grieving process is one of the most selfless things you can do. It will never be forgotten and likely will help build a bond that will last a lifetime.

Source: http://www.healthy-holistic-living.com/words-to-comfort-someone-grieving.html

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Prescription Drugs are out of control

Ive been off my anti-anxiety meds for over a month. At first it was tough, but lately I've been thinking clearer than I have in a long time.

Here is a great video everyone should watch about prescription drugs:

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I need to learn this -- posting to remind myself

Get Organized
Get through the first month of any life change with tips from first30days.com.

5 ways to get started:

1. Set small goals.
Pick the area of your home that would bring you the most peace if it were organized. Is your closet in disarray? Is your junk drawer overflowing? If the task seems too big, break it down: Instead of tackling the whole kitchen, take it one shelf at a time. The sight of even a small clean space will inspire you to keep going.

2. Make a plan.
Create a vision of how you'd love the area to look. This mental picture will help you develop your action plan. Then, figure out how much time you can devote to the project, and stick to that schedule. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself about how much time you can give to the task and how long it will take.

3. Don't blame yourself.
You're not the only one drowning in clutter, so don't beat yourself up about it. Save your energy for making positive changes. If you catch yourself thinking a negative thought like I'm such a slob, replace it with something positive, like I'm taking control. Give yourself credit for trying.

4.Divide and conquer.
Sort your belongings into three piles: "toss," "keep," and "donate." If you're struggling with whether to keep a sentimental item you don't use, ask yourself, How will I feel next month if I give it away? And remember, sometimes the meaning is in the memory, not in the memorabilia.

5. Stick with it.
You did it! To stay organized, set rules on how you'll keep the area clutter-free. Maybe you'll declare the kitchen counter a sundries-free zone; maybe you'll vow to toss flyers twice a week. The more you stay organized, the more you'll feel like you own your space, instead of your space owning you.

Pulling It Together: 3 Questions for Ariane

Why is being organized so satisfying?
You can't control every part of your life, but you do have power over how organized you are, and it's satisfying to have a place where you don't feel overwhelmed. People often think, If I can't even find my keys, how am I supposed to handle anything else? When we are organized, we feel like our lives are in order too.

What can I do to achieve results that last?
Staying organized is about having an awareness of how much we want versus how much we need. As you're organizing, be aware of how many things you've used only once, twice, or not at all. Think of all the money you've wasted and keep that in mind the next time you're tempted to buy an item you may never use.

If I'm a disorganized person, can I really change who I am?
Absolutely. Everyone has at least one area of their life in control. Do you try to be punctual? Do you have your finances in check? You can carry over that skill. Start with one doable project, and bask in the feeling of success after you've nailed it. Remember, what you tell yourself can either limit you or set you free.

Source: http://www.redbookmag.com/recipes-home/tips-advice/how-to-get-organized?src=syn&dom=yah_buzz&mag=rbk&ha=1&kw=ist

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Where in the world am I?

I am in Texas visiting family. My mother isn't doing well so this is a very important trip. In a few days I'll head back to Georgia again. I love it there so much. Vegas isn't a good quality place; Georgia is. Soon I need to take another international vacation for sanity, too. Costa Rica again? Or somewhere new? Where ever I go I should do it soon before I enter corporate world and will be unable to take time off work.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Officially quit stripping

That's right. I am done! :) Selling all my outfits today. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed making so many friends.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

How to Feel Like Crap

This video goes over the top things to do to feel like crap.

Moderation is for sissies.
Avoid sunlight at all cost
Isolate yourself
Watch as much TV as possible
Spend all your time online
Avoid living things
Don't do anything creative or productive
Avoid all physical effort
Don't eat anything that grows in the ground
Eat as much fast food as possible
Don't ever get enough sleep
Don't drink water

Finally when you do all these things and become depressed, ask your doctors to put you on the latest antidepressant drug w/out giving up all the thing that make you feel like crap.