Breaking my sugar addiction

As a child, I was indoctrinated that "good girls get treats" and sugary items were a reward. Many people think of sugar as just another food without realizing what it actually does to the body. However, studies have shown that 94% of the time, rats will choose sugar water over cocaine! In case you do not understand the significance of that, rats will usually choose cocaine over food and then die of starvation. Sugar is an addictive substance!

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While sugary items may taste good, they wreak havoc on the body and brain. For much of my life, sugar has had control over me. I've known it, yet the momentary physical and emotional pleasure sugar provides was a powerful reinforcer for continuing. A decade ago during an illness, I was forced onto a restrictive diet which broke my addiction. Unfortunately, after I got better, I retrained my body to successfully function with sugar again (this is pathetic considering that retraining involves getting sick repeatedly from the toxicity).    :-(     For the past few years, I have wanted to quit again, yet sugar withdrawals are so uncomfortable that I wasn't willing to relive them.

On July 15th, I decided to re-break my sugar addiction; this means no candy, cakes/muffins, coffee drinks, Red Bull, added sugar, juice, or any other sweet items (including those with artificial sweeteners). The first few days were horribly intense--significantly worse than when I quit drugs and alcohol. I went through severe withdrawals: mood swings, cramping, difficulty staying awake, depression, extreme cravings, and binging (on allowed foods). While binging is not healthy, it felt like it was the lessor of two evils to help me through the withdrawal process.

Day 2 was the worst. I wouldn't say I was crying, yet tears kept coming out of my eyes. I called my best friend (he is always more rational than I) who reminded me of the reasons I needed to do this and convinced me to stick with it. I had numerous justifications for why I should quit sugar in a week or two instead of now--but he helped me keep my resolve. Taking away a "reward" that one has grown to know and love is difficult. But, in reality, sugar isn't a reward--it is a punishment.

Today is Day 8 of no sugar. Yes I still have cravings. They are manageable. My brain keeps trying to lie to me and tell me that specific foods would be okay or that I "deserve a treat." How sick is it that my treats are actually self-sabotage? Thankfully, I realize this is the addictive cycle and have not given in. My mind is getting clearer, I have lost 2 pounds this week without even trying, and I feel good. Obviously, being a true addiction, I need to continuously monitor myself to prevent slips.

This Year's Lent Sacrifices

After much consideration, I will be giving up: cursing, hitting the snooze button, cold sugary coffee drinks, and tres leches. Here's why:

• I don't curse much, but any cursing is more than I want. 
• The snooze button is important. My life doesn't have many hard deadlines; at the same time, I am most productive in the mornings and hitting snooze is counterproductive. 
• The sugary coffee drinks are a new part of my routine. This a very bad habit for calories and sugar intake--so I need to put an end to them.
• Tres leches is another indulgence which I must give up in order to break my sugar addiction by the end of Lent.

Masturbation was suggested for me this year, too. In past years, I have included it.
However, since I rarely masturbate these days, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice now.
For my goals, Lent sacrifices need to be challenging and provide a long-term benefit.

In addition to sacrifices, I pledge to exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes each and every day. This is more than I currently do on the average day. While I wish I could commit to more, it's not worth taking time away from school. I'm not fat so good grades trump my exercise time budget.  ;)

I will also have penalties for non-compliance. $1 per curse word, $1 per each time I hit snooze, $10 per sugary coffee, $20 for tres leches, and $5 for missing an exercise day.

Lent is technically 46 days with 6 cheat days. I do a straight 40 days because I want the long-term benefit. This year it'll be Feb 18 to April 2. For me, Lent is about change and self-improvement.

My love-hate relationship with cake

So it happened again yesterday. I was passing a bakery when I saw a gorgeous slice of cake. I should've known better as, the majority of the time I have eaten there, I have often been disappointed. But, I bought it. The first bite was amazing--everything I hoped it would be and more! The second bite was still good, although not nearly as great. The third bite started to taste waxy. After a few more unenjoyable bites, I threw away the slice of cake without finishing it. Why does my brain discard all the information it has gathered when I see a delicious-looking cake?

I'm starting to think that's what I've done with men too.  *sigh*  Since I'm resuming interest in dating, I need to examine why I do this and fix it.

Lent 2014

It happened again. Since I'm not religious in a traditional sense, I forgot about Lent (it ends in 9 days). Coincidently, it was around the beginning of Lent that I decided to quit cake again--this time using the method which works for me.

Food has always been the only vice that I've had difficulty controlling throughout my life. With everything else, I successfully quit by keeping temptation around to remind me that I didn't run out; I chose to quit. After telling a friend about this, it occurred to me that I had never tried this with food. So, I took the last remaining slice of a delicious Strawberry Lemon Coconut cake and put it in the freezer. I am pleased to report that after a month, it is still there! Since I know I can have my favorite cake whenever I want, I don't have a desperate need or withdrawal urges.  :)

Ash Wednesday

Not being religious, I am lucky that I found out Lent started today.

The way the brain works, if you can do something for 21 days you can make a permanent change. Lent is 40 days.

This year for Lent I am consciously giving up (1) sugar, (2) cheese, and (3) cursing. In addition to these sacrifices, I will do a minimum of 30 minutes cardio every single day for these next 40 days.

New for this year, I am also going to add financial consequences for slip-ups.

Eating sugar - $10 
Eating cheese - $10
Cursing - $2  (I'm scared this one may add up quickly)
Missing cardio day - $20

These fines are designed to get me back on proper course --not a "cheat pass" opportunity . Because my full intention is to succeed, I am not even thinking up what to do with any money that ends up in the Lent fund (hopefully there will be none).  I officially start tomorrow.   :)

Cake For Breakfast

Parents often don't pay enough attention to what they say to their children. They make little comments which shape us forever. Like many children, I liked sugar a lot and would question my parents as to why I wasn't allowed to eat more of it. I clearly remember my parents saying, "You can eat cake for breakfast everyday when you're an adult."

During my adult life, my parents stopped by unannounced on a few occasions when I happened to be eating cake for breakfast. They didn't say anything. One time my dad actually joined me for a yummy slice of chocolate cake. Confirmation!

I'm writing this today as I feel sick from eating a few slices of lemon cake. Not thin slices, but 1/8 of a double-layered cake slices. One slice would be perfect, but people with addictive personalities (like me) have difficulty with moderation. For the most part, I've been very good over the past year at giving up cake. However, this was birthday cake...

 

It was a fun birthday. Earlier in the week a friend treated me to a massage. Then, on my birthday, my best friend flew out from California to celebrate with my man and I. :)  More people than ever contacted me to wish me a happy birthday. My entire inbox is full with messages and singing videos. Totally awesome.   :)