Goodbye 2014

 

Happy

New

Year!

Generating money for your business in 2015

Everyone in business wants to make money, yet few people truly understand all the aspects which factor in. The web is here to stay. If you don't have a great web presence, you are leaving a LOT of money on the table. If that bothers you, be honest with yourself for where your flaws are. The younger generations only buy what they can find online. For example, I will pay more--often up to 50%--for something which has a great informational website and good reviews. To compete these days, you must have this. I do not spend my money with those who no not. The future is going this way.

If your business is already too successful, congratulations! If you would like to grow it, start looking at professionals who know what you don't. Unlike other industries, experts in the web world do not have the professional look you expect to see in an office. Don't let this put you off. They look different because they are creative, free-thinking, and good enough at their web skills to have the freedom to look however they want. When it comes to hiring your web specialist, if you discriminate based upon appearance, you will lose quality. Spend a little money for the competitive edge and get a better return on investment for 2015.



Happy holidays and have a Merry 2015!

What happened to Amazon?

I have been a huge fan of Amazon.com and a loyal customer for many years. However, recently their value and customer service has plummeted. Their online chat customer service is now a joke. Generally I get transferred to at least 5 or 6 different customer service representatives before being helped--sometimes the person who finally helps me is the original customer service rep who transferred me! Amazon.com used to care about their service quality; what happened?  :(

In addition, Many of the items I buy have recently jumped up in price 10-25%. One of the reasons I have been a loyal Amazon customer is because they consistently had the best price. Now, if you look at the Amazon Prime prices, sometimes they are even 25-50% higher than other sellers selling the same item new through Amazon (check the "used and new" link an inch or two below the add to cart button)! For example, by searching other Amazon sellers I just bought a textbook for $155 new (after delivery charges); whereas, Amazon Prime is charging $212 for the same book. So disappointing...

I doubt Amazon was losing money, so why raise the prices so much? Why skimp on proper customer service? Amazon used to have all the best products, prices, and service. Now it's missing two of the three.

Considering Amazon.com is known for having the most comprehensive reviews system, certainly they should've known that changing their prices, service, and value wouldn't be overlooked by internet bloggers.

For what it's worth, I am a paying Amazon Prime member ($79/yr) and planned to purchase all my Christmas presents through Amazon; now I am looking at other options....

Tattoos

It was a gorgeous day today so it wasn't surprising to see two shirtless guys riding their bicycles. They had very nice bodies and attractive faces, yet I was completely repulsed by their tattoos. Having tattoos isn't the way to be individualistic anymore--it is conformity. Tattoos can ruin a nice body. There have been limited exceptions of tattoos which don't turn me off--but they are few and far between. Unless the tattooed person is incredibly special or has the most perfect cock, it isn't possible for me to be sexually aroused by someone with a lot of ink. Yuck!

Brandon has not been forgotten

Today, someone I knew should've been turning 26. Instead, he was murdered almost 6 years ago. Brandon had just moved to San Francisco a few weeks before he was killed. His story has been publicized a lot, his mother flies banners over the city he was killed in a few times per year asking for help, and yet still nobody has come forth.

His death might have been a gang initiation or it might've been mistaken identity. He wasn't a troublemaker and didn't associate himself with those who were. He was a good kid, ethical, loving, and wasn't involved with gangs or hard drugs. This was a random killing. Some cold stranger extinguished the life of a kind loving soul who preached peace and happiness everywhere he went.

It's impossible to explain the anguish a mother feels when her child dies. That is compounded by knowing her son was murdered. This story cannot go away. If people keep talking about it, eventually the killer will be caught.

http://justiceforbrandon.com/

Please help. If you know something, please come forward. It was a shooting near Golden Gate Park in November 2008. There is a huge reward available.

If you don't have any information to help directly, please write to America's Most Wanted and request that they accept this story to help bring Brandon's killer to justice.

Gregory Howell, Associate Producer
America's Most Wanted
E-mail: ghowell@amw.com

America’s Most Wanted
PO Box Crime TV
Washington DC 20016

It will only take 5 minutes of your time and might catch a cold-blooded killer. Thank you.

V for Vendetta

Voting is important. Whether or not you believe your vote makes a difference shouldn't factor in. If you DON'T vote, then there is 100% certainty that legally your opinion doesn't count. Only those of us who vote have the right to complain when the government isn't running as it should. If all the apathetic people actually cared enough to vote, they could influence the direction of our future.

My Theme Song

Ally McBeal had a theme song. I used to also. It was Shine by Rollins Band.

If I'd listened everything that they said to me, I wouldn't be here!
And if I took the time to bleed from all the tiny little arrows shot my way, I wouldn't be here! 

The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to put you down.
And you could spend your entire life walking around in the nowhere land of self doubt

'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive! 

It's time, it's time. It's time to align your body with your mind.
It's hero time.
It's time, it's time. It's time to align your body with your mind.
It's hero time.

'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive!
...and you know it's true! 

I'm talking to you: hero time starts right now! Hey! Hero time, yeah,
time to shine, hey, hero time!

If you think you've got 100 years to mess around--you're wrong!
This time is real, your time is now... it's hero time!
Yeah, hero time, hey, time to shine, yeah, hero time, yeah!

Hard times are getting harder, the liars are acting strong.
You better get a grip on yourself or you won't be around too long.
It's hero time, hey, time to shine, yeah.
Hero time, yeah, hero time, yeah!
It's hero time. It's hero time. Time to shine, shine, shine, shine, shine!
Oh yeah! (X3)

No such thing as spare time. No such thing as free time.
No such thing as down time. All you've got is life time... GO!
'Coz it's hero time, 'coz it's time to shine.
'Coz it's time to go, go, go! yeah, hey!

When you're gone, you're so gone. (X2)
You've got it now, it's time to go.
Hero time starts right now! Yeah, uh-huh..! ...Change it!

I've got grace in times of friction. I got truth in times of fiction.
I've got no time for the hype... Suicide!? I'm not that type...
I've got no time for drug addiction, no time for smoke and booze.
Too strong for a shortened life span, I've got no time to lose!
It's time to shine, yeah, it's hero time, yeah, it's hero time, yeah,
yeah!

When you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive!
Yeah!
You could spend your entire life walking around, coward.
Or you can get up!
Get up, get up, get up, get up! It's time to shine! Yeah...

 

I am reclaiming my theme song. I am focused, on-track, and playing it daily...

I want WORTH IT!

Not long ago, I started talking with a gentleman who was closer to the My Ideal Partner list than I've met in many years. We discussed the possibility of dating, even though we live very far from each other.

I was actually excited... but my honesty scared him.


Friends say "if it's too good to be true, it probably is" and that I invested emotion too early. People often miss out on what they want most in life is because they are too skeptical to believe it can be real. But sometimes opportunities present themselves & miracles do happen.

I thought he was my unicorn, so I wasn't going to passively wait. I told him how I felt.

Maybe my parents screwed me up by teaching me to be honest with people and expecting the same in return. They certainly didn't prepare me for a world where deception is the norm. I am secretive when I first get to know someone but, once I accept someone into my circle, I am very open about who I am, how I view others, and what I want in life. It might be naive of me to require such honesty from friends and lovers--but it isn't worth keeping people in my life who are not.

 After watching this video, I suspect finding someone who will be "honest with me always" and who is "trustworthy" might be close to impossible. However, I need that in order to be happy with someone and fall in love.

I'm not crazy; I just know what I want. Test taken today:

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||||||| 94% Stability |||||||||||||||||||| 88% Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 77% Accommodation |||||||||||||| 55% Intellectual |||||||||||||||||||||| 91% Interdependence |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Mystical |||||||||||||||||| 75% Materialism |||||||||||| 50% Narcissism |||||||||||||| 58% Adventurousness |||| 16% Work ethic |||||||||||||||||||||| 91% Conflict seeking || 8% Need to dominate |||||| 25% Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Avoidant |||| 16% Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 58% Wealth |||||||||||| 41% Dependency |||||||||||| 50% Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 88% Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 58% Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 77% Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 66% PeterPan complex || 8% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Vanity |||||||||||||||||| 75% Artistic 0% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||| 72% Physical fitness |||||||||||||||||| 77% Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Paranoia |||| 16% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 88% Indie |||||||||||||||||||| 83%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

Compromising safety for convenience

How many times have drugs been released after we assured they were safe, and then we found out they really weren't? You can apply this to many other scenarios too: power lines, vehicles, toys, foods, war, and the list goes on.

The vast majority of people put their most valuable asset (their own life) at risk all the time without giving it a second thought because they want to believe. They trust whatever they are told.

Yesterday I got into a brief Twitter discussion about biometrics. The other person said that using an iPhone for payment will lower crime because it will also require a fingerprint for payment. I supplied two links showing biometrics is hackable:
(1) http://www.zdnet.com/apples-advanced-fingerprint-technology-is-hacked-should-you-worry-7000020998/
(2) http://www.fastcompany.com/1790444/dark-side-biometrics-9-million-israelis-hacked-info-hits-web

In the case of biometrics, you can't change your fingerprints, iris, etc., after they are compromised. If there is one thing that we should all know by now, is that nothing is 100% unhackable. Anonymous has proven that.

This lack of knowledge (or care?) about the basic world around us extends so much further--even into most people's kitchens. For example, few people eat real food anymore. Most people eat "foodstuffs" which may taste good but are high in many chemicals which poison our bodies. It's no wonder the cancer rates are so high.

To add to that, as of 1994, genetically modified foods have been available. Maybe nobody told you until recently that you are eating Frankencrops; afterall, there is no labeling requirement. The foods your parents grew up on are NOT the same today: fruits, vegetables, and now even other living things. That's right, they are now taking DNA from one type of fish and injecting into another type of fish to create artificial salmon--salmon that will be marketed the same as a naturally created fish. This is happening even though there are studies which prove that DNA from GMO foods are transferred into humans who eat them! Unfortunately, Monsanto has established relationships with many important people and politicians in America.

Universities usually require critical thinking and research classes to graduate. But you certainly can't tell based upon just how many people accept everything they are told without questioning it's validity. You should always view the sources for credibility and to see if there are conflicts of interest.

What about our ever increasing loss of privacy?
Or the disintegration of our Constitution?

 If you are one of those people who doesn't care about these issues, then you are a sheep.

How to become a SLAVE to the system

I am still sometimes guilty of #4. However, I live my life with purpose and am happy.

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don't need to escape from.”  --  Seth Gobin

The frustration of dating

Many years ago, a man I was seeing told me that he (or any other man) would marry me based upon sexual skill alone. While that was probably meant as a compliment, it made me a little sad. I am an awesome catch yet often men focus on my physical potential.

For precisely this reason, I won't have sex with someone new early on to prevent being used for sex or getting prematurely emotionally attached. After becoming friends with a potential, the Dealbreakers from the My Ideal Partner list or not being made a priority is what disqualifies. Even when I find a man who is close to my list, he usually loses my interest by not expressing enough interest himself. I am not needy nor clingy, and I don't want that from a man. At the same time, I do want to be thought about, appreciated, and shown.

Once upon a time, men knew how to court women; now so few understand what that means. I fully blame the gender-equality problem I've talked about before. This is why, after several months of being ready to date, I am still single. I won't settle; I've done that and it wasn't worth it. I need to be swept off my feet.

Geography doesn't factor in. Money and flight schedules solve distance. I once casually joked that I wouldn't date someone because he lived where it snows but--in all reality--if the mutual chemistry were strong enough, that wouldn't have been a deterrent. So, what stops me from dating someone who lives far away? Nothing. The world is huge.

5 Years Sober

Life is good. No temptations to drink..

My Ideal Partner 2014

   Without referring back to the most recent version, I re-wrote my My Ideal Partner list from scratch, changing the format a little.

MUSTS: genius intelligence, honest with me always, motivated, family values, good in bed, generous, knows and likes the true me, gentleman, encourages and helps me to better myself, loyal, compassionate, spiritual, affectionate, emotional/physical/financial support, healthy eater, trustworthy, apologizes, ethical, has patience, shows that he values our time together, prepared to commit

WOULD BE NICE: athletic, speaks more than one language, high sex drive, world traveler, computer geek, likes dogs and cats, similar political beliefs, ex-pat mentality, father figure, teaches me, always "into me", wants an immediate family

DEAL BREAKERS: passive-aggressive, alcoholic, drug addict, liar, thief, disrespectful, physically or verbally abusive, uses denial-of-relationship-sex as a weapon, Capricorn (male), never takes responsibility, refuses to admit when he's wrong or when he doesn't know something, smokes cigarettes

This narrowed shortlist of which qualities matter most will make it much easier to quickly see if someone is in my "Maybe" category. Friends first before anything romantic develops.

My love-hate relationship with cake

So it happened again yesterday. I was passing a bakery when I saw a gorgeous slice of cake. I should've known better as, the majority of the time I have eaten there, I have often been disappointed. But, I bought it. The first bite was amazing--everything I hoped it would be and more! The second bite was still good, although not nearly as great. The third bite started to taste waxy. After a few more unenjoyable bites, I threw away the slice of cake without finishing it. Why does my brain discard all the information it has gathered when I see a delicious-looking cake?

I'm starting to think that's what I've done with men too.  *sigh*  Since I'm resuming interest in dating, I need to examine why I do this and fix it.

What happened to gender differences?

Feminist women have trained men to believe that they do not have to be men anymore. Most men are oblivious, only noticing the money they save while courting and how much easier it is to get sex. But it runs much deeper than that. There is an inherent lack of respect for men by women once women have to take on a more masculine role. Why should I respect him as a man when I can be my own provider? Why should I respect his penis when I can easily get another?

What is the male role? The ability and desire to provide for and protect his family at all costs. A man's goal is to work and make as much money as he can to provide. While he's single, this is to prepare for his eventual wife and children. No real man would ever allow a woman to pay for dates, as doing so demasculates him to the core. The money saved doesn't justify the lost respect. Fathers who allow their children to go hungry, without clothes, or without intellectual stimulation aren't men either. Whether with his child's mother or not, a man will do whatever it takes to have enough money to make sure his family is ok. "Wanna-be men" believe that paying court-ordered child support (which they are often bitter about) is good enough. And lastly, men are supposed to be able to fix and repair things. Even if you have plenty of money to hire someone, the ability to do basic house and car repairs is expected of all men.

What is the female role? To be a caretaker and raise healthy children. Most women have jobs, yet at the same time this can defeminize them. A woman takes care of her family--and not by paying someone else to do it while she goes to work. A woman puts her children first (because they cannot protect themselves) and her partner second. Woman are excellent comforters and are there to lend a hug or supporting comment when her child or man needs it. Women are expected to "step back" when it's helpful towards encouraging her family to to grow and succeed. In addition, frugal shopping and cooking are essential skills all women should have.

Surely it is clear that I do not believe in equal rights. I never have. Men are providers and protectors; women are caretakers. This is natural and works the best because men and women are biologically different. In today's society, many females try to prove they are equal to or better than men. Sadly, laziness has caused just as many males to expect women to pick up the man's slack. Divorce rates in the U.S. are over 50%, and I am convinced this is why. Having a vagina doesn't make you a real woman just like having a penis doesn't make you a real man.

Once upon a time, men knew that they had to "step up" to the husband and father role when they got a woman pregnant. Now, instead of being selective when choosing sex partners, boys are taught (often by their parents!) that they have the option of running away from their male responsibility. Parents claim they want their children to be successful in everything; however, for the past 50 years these same parents have neglected insuring that their children can live up to the most basic of gender roles. These roles exist for a reason and create a harmonious society. When gender roles are not respected, everyone suffers. Do you have children? If so, are you teaching your son how to be a man? Your daughter how to be a woman?

Need help? While written in a religious context, these two books are the best I've seen for teaching a woman how to be proper wife: For Woman Only and More Hours In My Day. If you love your daughter, you will teach her these skills. You can also teach her how to be self-sufficient, but she needs to know how to be a proper woman first and foremost. When parents fail to teach their boys what it takes to be a man, women and children get neglected. Since I am a woman, I do not have any book suggestions for men--but I will start looking, and will add a comment below when I have some. If you do not live up to your gender role, you need to evaluate why and fix yourself.


**** Just a side note, after working in strip clubs I can tell you that most strippers have children. The same holds true for prostitutes. A large percentage are forced into adult work to support their child(ren) because the males who got them pregnant weren't really men. These women are often looked down upon, when in reality they do whatever it takes to take care of, provide for, and protect their children after a man has chosen not to be there.

Lent 2014

It happened again. Since I'm not religious in a traditional sense, I forgot about Lent (it ends in 9 days). Coincidently, it was around the beginning of Lent that I decided to quit cake again--this time using the method which works for me.

Food has always been the only vice that I've had difficulty controlling throughout my life. With everything else, I successfully quit by keeping temptation around to remind me that I didn't run out; I chose to quit. After telling a friend about this, it occurred to me that I had never tried this with food. So, I took the last remaining slice of a delicious Strawberry Lemon Coconut cake and put it in the freezer. I am pleased to report that after a month, it is still there! Since I know I can have my favorite cake whenever I want, I don't have a desperate need or withdrawal urges.  :)

Reversed cancer without chemotherapy or radiation

I strongly believe that traditional chemotherapy and radiation isn't nearly as effective for treating cancer as nutrition and attitude. While the following story is personal, the benefit of sharing my experience far outweighs my need for privacy.

Much of last year I had all the symptoms of late-stage colon cancer. I had diarrhea or soft pencil stools every time I used the bathroom for several months, had obstructions, was bloated, and my lower abdomen and rectum were in severe pain. I lost 35 pounds before I got so nauseous that I didn't want to eat anymore. There were days when I had to lay on the floor in fetal position unable to move from all the pain. I did not have insurance and could not afford the expensive tests I needed.

I turned to Traditional Chinese Medicine. I went to my Chinese practitioner weekly (more often when needed), followed the herbal recommendations he suggested, and switched to organic non-GMO foods. Twice I came in with obstructions so bad that I hadn't excreted in days and he was able to unblock it. I revamped my exercise and meditation routines--adding yoga and Qigong. This was a combined effort: nutrition, exercise, meditation, and Chinese bodywork alignment. I also started going to church. It took 5 months for my health to be restored completely.

Six months after my symptoms first began I was able to come up with resources for a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Even though I had been cured, I went in. The gastroenterologist couldn't explain it. He said there was evidence that I had had chronic irritation, but my health was now fine. No cancer or anything else and my blood work was also back to normal. It is possible to cure cancer and other diseases naturally--without pharmacology. People who don't believe that are generally the same people who aren't willing to spend any time researching.

*       *       *       *       *

Be careful when you trust Big Pharma with your life. Anybody who profits off of another's poor health could be guilty of conflicting interests. The longer you are kept alive dependent upon medication, the more money the pharmaceutical companies make. Even if you don't believe that they care more about their own bottom-line than your health, their mistakes are too numerous to count. Often drugs make so much in profit that, even after factoring in lawsuits, the revenue generated keeps it on the market.

An interesting fact, if you are not already aware: Bayer introduced heroin to the general public as a cheap cough suppressant and as a non-addictive morphine substitute. You can imagine how profitable it became. They even encouraged it to be given to children. Oops!

On the Down Low?

This blog post was inspired by the following redacted email which I received earlier today:

I had a friend in college...he dated women, got married, etc. When his wife announced that she is pregnant, he came out. It's pretty selfish to pull someone (and then a kid) into a life that cannot possibly end happily.

After living in Atlanta, I must say I am shocked by how many DL men there are. For those who are unaware, DL (down low) refers to discreet male-male hookup sex by men who publically identify as straight and often have wives or girlfriends.

 

A smart man once told me that "Nobody ever does anything that they cannot rationalize." That is true. Most of the DL men rationalize it by saying their woman doesn't give them enough sex, oral sex, some other fetish sex, or even that they are bisexual and need to have sex with both genders to feel satisfied. They justify their disloyalty by rationalizing why it should be okay. The men they hook up with are on the same page, which further reinforces their warped view of right versus wrong.

My sex drive is on the high end of healthy, I enjoy kinky sex, and I am bisexual--yet I can honestly say that I have never cheated. It is tough to get me to commit because I expect monogamy in my committed relationships. This is why I have only committed to 3 men in my life, the others never got to that point. In relationships where monogamy is negotiable, the couple still needs to discuss and agree upon acceptable alternatives BEFORE anything ever happens--otherwise it is cheating. Honesty and communication are essential for committed relationships to be healthy. If either are missing, at least one partner is being held hostage in a relationship he/she might not consent to otherwise.

Maybe it's because I was raised in California, but I cannot understand why a man would be so deceitful. If you like having sex with men, be open about it. Some women are really turned on by that! If you are gay and want children, there are plenty of women who would love to have a child but don't want a romantic relationship. If you are in a committed relationship, whether with a man or with a woman, having sex or getting sucked off by ANYONE else without your partner's knowledge and permission in advance is cheating. If the temptation is too great, leave your partner first. That shows respect. Cheating and exposing your partner to risk and humiliation is the ultimate in disrespect.

Not only is it scarring for a woman to find out her partner is going outside their relationship for sex with men, but there is also a huge safety issue. In 2011, Atlanta was 8th in the country for new HIV infections; now it is 4th. While most people won't choose to have sex with someone they know will give them a disease, 62% of aware HIV+ men have admitted to having unprotected sex within the past year. Not everyone honestly discloses their status, and many never get tested. Even scarier, much of the "down low" sex is with strangers.

For all the DL men, the female in your life deserves someone who will love her with loyalty and find her sexually attractive, not to be used as a "cover" to hide your sexual orientation or other secrets. If you are homosexual and afraid to be honest because of how people will view you,  move somewhere more open-minded (California?) where you can be your true self and start over.

If you stumbled upon this blog post after catching your man on the DL, contact the Straight Spouse Network to get support.

Why I dropped out of college

I had norovirus all last week and, since I had so much down time, I pulled up Season 1 of Ally McBeal on NetFlix. When it was on TV over a decade ago, it was my favorite show. Watching it again has gotten me to think quite a bit. It is strange how years can go by before you realize what actually happened in your life.

When I met my ex (I'll call him Mr. Racer for this article), I was a college senior, serious about school, and had many more years of education planned. I also had a great job. After I started dating Mr. Racer, I pretty much stopped going to school completely and focused on adultwork. It hadn't occurred to me until now how much he played a role in that.

My last semester at University was a few months after Mr. Racer moved in. He did not like me being at school. He said the amount of stress that I experienced during school and with deadlines was too much for him. He encouraged me to ask for a raise at my marketing job and helped me with Adult business. He is the one who invented Trixie Racer and eventually suggested we move to Las Vegas so I could strip full-time. Since he couldn't qualify to purchase a condo there, I bought one in my name. We broke up at the end of 2005--and I was stuck having paid top dollar for a condo in a collapsing city.

We didn't talk for 4 years. During that time, I went back to school, took computer classes, and received certifications for A+, Network+, and Security+. After Mr. Racer and I started living together again, I told him it was important for me to keep my certifications current, but he would not allow me study time. He also knew that I wanted to go back to school as soon as I was legally considered a resident of the state we were in for tuition purposes. The first semester I would have qualified for was this semester: Spring 2014.

I'm not sure if it was because of my love for him, or not wanting to believe that our relationship was unhealthy, but it didn't occur to me until recently that Mr. Racer basically sabotaged my education. Obviously I must take responsibility in this too--since I allowed him. Even though I am a strong woman, I have a submissive side which naively trusted that his intentions were pure. From this sad realization, I also know now--without a doubt--that Mr. Racer never actually loved me. Love is encouraging and helping the person you love to succeed and achieve to be the very best they can, even if it means that their improved self won't want you in his/her life anymore. Love is totally selfless. He didn't do that at all. He discouraged me from growing into who I naturally am and molded me into what he wanted me to be.

I won't say that I never enjoyed stripping. Some times it was really fun and I met a lot of great people. At the same time, doing that for work never gave me the same satisfaction as college or my marketing job. I love to learn and use my brain. By working in Vegas strip clubs, I basically had the same, simple, monotonous conversations with drunk men every night. I was no longer valued for my brain; only for my body and my ability to move it. I can't even imagine where I would be today if I had dated somebody who had supported my going to school. :(   

In the near future, I will be re-entering college. This time around I know that if anyone tries to stop me it will be for their own selfish reasons--and not in my best interest. That applies to all forms of improvement. When someone doesn't support you improving, it means they prefer you to be stagnant or regress; either way, it's a sure red flag and you should run.

I'm Not Your Valentine

Don't ask me to be your Valentine or wish me a Happy Valentine's day. Valentine's Day is for lovers, and I have none.  I am single because the man whom I believed was the love of my life proved he wasn't. When you wish me a Happy Valentine's Day that is the same as wishing a friend whose mother died 4 months earlier a Happy Mother's Day. Not appropriate nor polite. Think about that.

 

Living life

When I was a kid, I loved the Choose Your Own Adventure books. I would read them, and then go back and see what other options I could've chosen. This taught me to carefully think through my choices because my life might depend upon them. While in real life our choices are rarely so dramatic, they are equally as important.

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.
--Goethe

Here is a simple way to get in touch with your priorities. Imagine that you have an incurable illness and are given six months to live. As the doctors inform you of their findings, see yourself accepting your imminent mortality with the resolve, "I am going to spend the last months of my life living to the fullest, doing those things that are truly important to me." Then imagine yourself living out those six months in the manner in which you have decided.

Afterwards, note your experience. During your remaining days, what did you do, who did you see, and where did you go? What do these choices say about what is really important to you - your values and priorities? Are you living them today? If you are not, you may want to learn from Tony's story.

After being diagnosed with AIDS, Tony decided to embrace life. He bought a house, planted a garden, and nurtured his important relationships. As a result, he lived the remaining three years of his life in pure joy.

The tragedy is that his life ended just as he was beginning to live. Why wait for a life threatening experience to motivate you to take action? Confront your fears and pursue what brings you happiness and joy.

There is no better time than now.

Friends have always been amazed at how quickly I accomplish my goals after choosing them. This isn't by mere chance. Since it doesn't make sense for me to only dream of a life I want without living it, I immediately create an implementation plan.

Why are so many afraid to live their dreams? "It's just not the right time," "I'll do it later," and "I want to, but ____." are all excuses from people who enjoy the complaining process more than they want to succeed. That boggles my mind.

Anything below full commitment isn't really choosing. You are in complain mode.  
Life is easy: decide what you want, map out what it takes to succeed, have confidence that you can do it, commit, start, and follow through. If you're reading this and thinking "But in my case, ____,"--no matter what that "but" is--you're still making excuses. Your success and happiness is completely in your hands. Claim it!