Coffee

Apparently choosing to give up cold surgery coffee while taking more than a full load of classes was not reasonable. The cold sugary coffee drinks give me a great energy boost which lasts the entire day. Black coffee has always put me to sleep. Yes, I know, that is totally weird. To complicate matters further, Mountain Dew wires me (Coca Cola does the opposite) and ice tea makes my heart palpitate. Nobody can explain why my body acts the way it does.

So, while I hate to admit defeat, the cold sugary coffee drinks will have to stay--at least until the end of this school period. Grades trump Lent. I am happy to report that I've been doing good on the rest of my sacrifices and keeping up a steady exercise routine.  :)

Will the stripper date or fuck me?

Men enjoy the fantasy that they can score or date the beautiful woman they are handing money to. Knowing this, strippers usually say or do whatever it takes to get the maximum amount from you. When it comes down to it, do you care if she really likes you? Would you still enjoy yourself if you knew you didn't have a chance? Most men want to be lied to.

The stripper you are interested in falls into one of these categories:

1) Already married or has boyfriend = you have no chance
2) Already married or has boyfriend = may play with hot guys/girls or for money/drugs
3) Single = thinks guys they meet in the club are "losers" and would never date a customer
4) Single = may play with hot guys/girls or for money/drugs
5) Single = actually a normal girl who happens to strip, you may have a chance
6) Lesbian

How to interpret your odds for each stripper category:

#1 / #3 - Just enjoy yourself in the club. It won't go any further.
#2 / #4 - If you are hot enough, have enough money and/or party supplies, this girl is a strong "maybe."
#5 - She may take you seriously if she genuinely likes you. Don't screw it up.
#6 - Are you a woman? If not, treat like categories 1 and 3.

I fit into category #5. How could the observant man tell? In the club, I was never a hit-and-run dancer. Time permitting, it was important to talk and establish chemistry before dancing. This was just as much for the client's benefit as for my own; each of us would enjoy our mini-relationship more (similar to single-serving friends from "Fight Club", except more intimate). The majority of the men I ended up dating I first met this way.

Men asked me out daily; only rarely did I give out my contact info. If I did and then the guy turned around and spent money on other strippers, he blew his chance with me. Only an asshole would do this. It is the same as meeting a girl at a party, flirting to get her number, and once you succeed moving on to her friends. Not cool.

I've never been the type to play "stripper games" or lie to make additional money. At the same time, a man who thought he could spend time with me and eventually date me without dropping a lot of money would never have a chance. The money itself wasn't the reason--respect was. Any man who comes into a woman's workplace, takes up her time, and has her lose money for the privilege doesn't respect her and is not a quality man.

Here's another article: http://www.wikihow.com/Date-a-Stripper. While I don't agree with all of it, it is worth reading.

So, will the stripper you like date or fuck you? I don't know. But you should now be able to tell if you can correctly categorize her from above and have what it takes. Strip clubs are for entertainment--not matchmaking--so if it doesn't lead any further don't feel cheated. It is what it is....

Today is a Lent-free day and tomorrow starts more restrictions

This year, I immediately learned how to cheat the system and bypass the specifics to still get those items which I planned to give up. In fact, because of the alternate choices, my sugar intake has actually INCREASED since Lent has started.  *disappointed*   I've never done this before during Lent and it goes against why I do this.

Day 1: Cursed twice ($2), alarm should not have been on--but it was--and instinctively I pressed snooze ($1).  Total=$3.

Day 2: Was out and about running errands and needed to pee. The only place open was a coffee shop. I walked in, ordered, and while in the bathroom I realized I had just ordered a hot mocha ($10)! I should have known better. However, since I specified "cold sugar coffee drinks" in my Lent post, I will allow this one-time without penalty(-$10). For the net 38 days, Lent includes "sugary coffee drinks." After I realized I had ordered coffee, I cursed ($1). Before the day ended, I cursed two other times also ($2). Total=$3.

Day 3: Had an assortment of dessert items and hot black coffee, but no tres leches. Cursed 3 times ($3). Total=$3.

Day 4: Had hot black coffee, no sugar. Also had a triple chocolate brownie and a few cookies. Cursed once ($1). Total=$1.

To continue on as I have wouldn't be effective. It is clear that I need to revamp the system. Today I am giving myself a "free pass" to have a cold sugary coffee drink without penalty. The remaining 34 days of Lent will be specific and strict.

Black coffee is acceptable. I am not a fan of black coffee, yet giving up sugar and caffeine at the same time appears too stressful. I will not be allowed dessert items--period. Any cakes/cookies/sugar drinks will be a violation and fine-able. I'll need to get my sweet tooth satisfied with sweet potatoes, squash, dates, or fruit.

* It may be best to avoid me for the next week as I go through sugar withdrawals. *

No Valentine?

I just received an email reminding me that today is Valentine's Day.

If you don't have someone to share it with, it should be just like every other day. But--thanks to Hallmark--it isn't.

Valentine's Day is a day which everyone knows is set aside to celebrate romance and to renew your commitment. Since relationships vary in their level of romance, knowing that you can look forward to February 14 for even more is important. Many men underestimate how much women judge their actions on this day.

 Now, I'll put this day back in perspective.... If you are single, don't take Valentine's Day as a day to wallow in your own self-pity. You don't need a partner to complete you. You must already be complete before you will attract the right partner. Of course, you could just find someone...but anyone who wants to be with you while you are "wounded" is not someone you should want to be with.

If this day is painful because it reminds you of a failed relationship, then that pain is a helpful sign that you are not ready to date yet. Instead of crying over your loss, use that energy to do something positive. Learn a new skill, spoil yourself with a gym membership/personal trainer, or contribute toward making another person's day better. Same with any other holidays which no longer apply to you. Take any negative single energy and create loving happiness for yourself and others with no-relationship required! .

This Year's Lent Sacrifices

After much consideration, I will be giving up: cursing, hitting the snooze button, cold sugary coffee drinks, and tres leches. Here's why:

• I don't curse much, but any cursing is more than I want. 
• The snooze button is important. My life doesn't have many hard deadlines; at the same time, I am most productive in the mornings and hitting snooze is counterproductive. 
• The sugary coffee drinks are a new part of my routine. This a very bad habit for calories and sugar intake--so I need to put an end to them.
• Tres leches is another indulgence which I must give up in order to break my sugar addiction by the end of Lent.

Masturbation was suggested for me this year, too. In past years, I have included it.
However, since I rarely masturbate these days, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice now.
For my goals, Lent sacrifices need to be challenging and provide a long-term benefit.

In addition to sacrifices, I pledge to exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes each and every day. This is more than I currently do on the average day. While I wish I could commit to more, it's not worth taking time away from school. I'm not fat so good grades trump my exercise time budget.  ;)

I will also have penalties for non-compliance. $1 per curse word, $1 per each time I hit snooze, $10 per sugary coffee, $20 for tres leches, and $5 for missing an exercise day.

Lent is technically 46 days with 6 cheat days. I do a straight 40 days because I want the long-term benefit. This year it'll be Feb 18 to April 2. For me, Lent is about change and self-improvement.

Get up Outta The Dirt

Four months ago, I said I was going to re-adopt Shine by Henry Rollins as my Theme Song. While I love this song and I feel it is very inspirational, I haven't been listening to it as I should. Therefore, it is time for a new Theme Song.

Butterfingers is not well known in the US, but they have been one of my favorite bands for many years. This song, Get up Outta The Dirt, is my new theme song. It's perfect for keeping a positive perspective and working towards goals.



There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Out the dirt
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Out the dirt

If you sniffle ‘cause your life is difficult, that’s typical
But you get what you give
Karma is reciprocal

And I’m critical of people on my nuts
Can’t see why I’m crippled but they’re stuck up in their ruts
Quick to make a fuss and to bust up the bubble
So this is my rebuttal to "We Like ‘Em When They’re Trouble"
I got a couple of bones to pick
It’s your life, don’t whine, take ownership

Get up, stand up, throw your hands up
While high, jerk your mind back from propaganda
With anti-slander, truth too candor
And it’s good for the goose as it is for the gander

Every gamut of the planet reaps what it sows
So forget about your hair and forget about your clothes
Same goes for your woes, for the moment is priceless
Puberty blues becomes mid-life crisis
SURPRISE!

You get wiser, older, fatter
Lose your mind and control of your bladder
Mad as a hatter, pissin’ in your pants
But everybody’s ugly if you give them a chance

There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt

This isn’t an attack or a lack of compassion
But you gotta get yourself back into action
Tap into your passion and follow it up
Either that, or let the madness swallow you up

How full is your cup, half-full or half empty?
You’re the envy of plenty, tread gently
Apathy is deadly and if you got seeds of doubt
With means to sprout, you need to weed them out

Or read about people with real cares
I feel for the hunger-stricken killed in Zaire
Children die there from extreme poverty
In perspective, my problems don’t bother me

Think positive, forget about the negative
There’s never been a better time to get your shit together
It's bad etiquette to bitch and moan
With your nice clean clothes and your mobile phone

If you can’t see your feet ‘cause you over-eat
And that’s your biggest problem, then your life is sweet
Not sleepin’ on the street, then you probably got it good
Get up, put your head up, if you can then you should

There’s never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt

Stand up straight, stand up straight!
Don't take no shit, don’t take no shit!
Hands on your shoulders, shoulders over hips

It's time for a change, time for a change!
So make it swift, make it swift!
You're only getting older with the lifeline that you live

There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
Get up stand up, throw your hands up
While high, jerk your mind back from propaganda

There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt, outta the dirt
This isn't an attack or a lack of compassion
Outta the dirt
But you gotta get yourself back in the action

There's never been a better time than right now
Right now!
To get up outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt! Outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt!

There's never been a better time than right now
To get up outta the dirt
Get up outta the dirt! Outta the dirt
Get up outta the, get up outta the dirt!

My Ideal Partner 2015

As part of re-entering the dating world, I've revised my lists.

 
Who I am: Honest, intelligent, loyal, likes to help people, encourages passions, lifetime student, good in bed, outside-the-box, great mom skills, anti-GMO, high sex drive, vain, reliable, generous, loves traveling, believes everything happens for a reason, ex-pat mentality, spiritual, values privacy, smiles and laughs easily, open-minded, many old-fashioned values, enjoys being fit, non-smoker, sober, comfortable talking about anything, shares, romantic, pro-gun, conspiracy theorist, happy, tenacious, accepts people for who they are, turns dreams into reality, not afraid to say “no”, follows my heart.

Caution: Requires complete honesty, easily falls off diet, loses things, mildly bipolar (normal/manic, no depression).

My ideal man will love himself, love me, and any children we bring into our relationship. He eats the same (or will learn how), communicates his needs/happiness, and explains any dissatisfaction so we are on the same page and can make adjustments as needed. Healthy marriages have a passionate sex life; this is important to me, too. I want my life partner, loving husband, and co-parent.

He needs to understand that the spark eventually fades--yet, with that knowledge, will commit to a lifetime of loving each other. Love is a verb. When it's a verb, you don't "fall out of love." If you don't love anymore, it’s because you chose to break your promise and stop loving.

Since I believe we can manifest what we want in life, this describes him:

NON-NEGOTIABLE MUSTS: Honest, genius intelligence, respects me, trustworthy, ambitious, generous, ethical, makes eating organic/non-GMO a priority, good in bed, prepared to commit, kind, healthy, father figure, patience, emotional/physical/financial support, likes to travel, apologizes, compassionate, acts like a man and treats me as a lady, loyal, helps me succeed, funds vanity maintenance, shows that he values our time together, teaches me, gentleman, wants an immediate family, compatible parenting views (actively parent according to the Positive Discipline model while remaining mindful that all of our actions teach a growing child how to behave).

WOULD BE NICE--but not required: Athletic, speaks more than one language, high sex drive, spiritual, wealthy (well, this would be nice, lol), similar political beliefs, worldly, ex-pat mentality, computer geek, at least 10 years older than me, romantic, can build and repair things.

ABSOLUTE DEALBREAKERS: Lies, abusive, passive-aggressive, undependable, refuses to admit when he's wrong or when he doesn't know something, doesn't take responsibility, antagonistic teaser, alcoholic or drug addict, cheap, uses denial-of-relationship-sex as a weapon, television junkie, smokes cigarettes, thrives with drama.