My celibacy journey

It is no secret that I am a sex addict. I have alluded to it in previous postings and openly talk about it with my friends. My libido craves 4 times per day at a few hours per session. After my last relationship ended, I decided that good sex isn't worth the drama anymore and made a decision to remain celibate.

When I first started this journey, it was difficult. I read Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addictionand filled out the worksheets inside. It is important to mention that this also included no masturbation so initially I was chewing skin which had previously been covered by fingernails.



After the first few weeks, a strange clarity swept over me and life became peaceful and less stressful. This was unexpected and is the reason I've been able to maintain abstinence. All my friends have been very supportive (even if they don't fully understand) and have seen positive changes in me. Selfishly-motivated people cannot hide their disdain and are phased out of my life.

For a woman with a high sex drive, even a few months is an eternity--and it has been MUCH longer than that. In fact, I realized today that this is actually the longest I have refrained from sex since the very first time I had sex! Celibacy isn't a lifetime decision for me, but it is still the right choice for now. How long will it be before I have sex again? I have no idea. Jokingly I say I am waiting until marriage and, who knows, maybe...