Next week marks 7 years since I quit drinking

    It has been easy to stay quit.  I have not been attending AA. I do read self-help books. I was never an alcoholic. I decided one day to quit and I did. To give AA credit where credit is due, I did a 4-day crash course on the 12-steps. It was horribly intensive and taught me that I had a lot of deep negative emotions, that I wasn't perfect, and how to forgive. I also removed myself from the negative people and toxic situations. About 6 months after I quit, then the reality of everything I ignored when I drank was in my face. Wow. That was stressful. I realized that I did not like the person I had become. The second half of that first year I spent actively writing down goals and working on change to optimize my health and happiness.

Buy from Amazon

I have never read a self-help book for alcoholic...until now. Honestly I thought I didn't need it. However, recently I found a book that I would like to recommend for everyone who grew up in an alcoholic home. I did, and I had no idea that my childhood environment was responsible for so many of my adult problems. The book happens to be an out-of-print parenting book. Because of its parenting approach, I am able to get two perspectives out of it: myself as a child growing up in that environment and as the messed up adult. Buy it if you are ready to heal: The ACOA's Guide to Raising Healthy Children: A Parenting Handbook for the Adult Children of Alcoholics.


I know I haven't posted photos in a very long time...

So this was me back when I drank:

And this is now:

Happy birthday to all my Leo friends.

Self-medicating to cope after a loved one dies

It's been 10 years since my sister died. It's also been 10 years since my lover died. 2005 was a tough year. Both died by suicide. A lot can happen in 10 years. What does death do to us? It's not predictable and never the same.

Over the next few years, I handled these deaths by self-medicating: drinking a lot, using drugs, and involving myself in unhealthy relationships. Since I lived in Las Vegas, self-medication was the norm and acceptable behavior. My real support system dwindled and was replaced by people who also didn't care about themselves. Secretly I wanted to die, but since my loved ones had taken their own lives, I knew that killing myself would be too painful for those who cared about me. If I overdosed, it would be less painful. I had a relationship with a man who wanted to pimp me (thankfully I got away). I needed love and a lifesaver, yet was too broken to recognize those who wanted to take advantage.

It took me longer than normal to recover from these deaths because, due to self-medication, I didn't grieve the way I should have. Experiencing the stages of grief is essential for recovery. I was in horrible pain, so self-medicating felt like the right thing to do at the time. However, it was directly because of it that I didn't heal sooner. Fast forward to now. I've been sober 6 years. Despite going through some major hardships, I live a happy, drama-free life. My support system is small, but excellent. Life is good.

Even when everything seems hopeless, even when there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you have choices. How you move forward does make a difference. If you choose to self-medicate, it will get you through but it will extend the hurt. If you don't, you will hurt more intently, but it won't last for nearly as long.

The U.S. Government sold out their citizens' rights. Vote them out!!

The U.S. just signed on to fascism. Seriously. It now fits exactly by definition. If you don't know what fascism is and think that I am just throwing around a dirty word, read it. You will be in shock.

"The most ridiculous part of the TPP is that it allows multinational corporations to sue the governments they set up shop in if their profits don't match expectations, as long as they can blame it on something the government did such as a labor or environmental policy. Under such a system a company like Nike could sue the federal government for lost profits if they were to raise the minimum wage, or even if they were to not lower the wage to bring things in line with their sweatshops overseas. " -- comment from this video.

This is the list of senators who voted YES on the Fast Track of TPP/TPA.
They just sold our country. Flushed it down the drain.

Next election, vote these traitorous senators out.

It is truly disgusting what all those YES's voted for: http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1072043/pg1

The “Monsanto provision” included in the bill requires that U.S. negotiators fight for rules in trade agreements that eliminate so-called “barriers” to markets, such as the labeling of GMOs. Biotechnology companies consider that such information is unnecessary for the consumers and would have a deterrent effect on their profits, because of the numerous concerns over health and/or environment risks that people believe genetically engineered crops and foods. Currently 64 countries require genetically engineered food to be labeled, including Japan, China, Brazil, and the countries of the European Union. 

Other consumer groups have echoed DeFazio’s concerns. 

“At a time when Americans overwhelmingly want a right to know what they are buying and feeding their families, it is appalling that Congress would encourage stripping other countries of their right to label genetically engineered foods,” said Colin O’Neil, Director of Government Affairs at Center for Food Safety. “Each country has justifiably required the labeling of GE (genetically engineered) foods; the only thing that cannot be justified is why consumers in the US don’t have the same right to know as consumers in 64 other countries around the world.”

This content was originally published by teleSUR at the following address: 
http://www.telesurtv.net/english/news/US-Lawmaker-Slams-Monsanto-Provision-in-Fast-Track-Bill-for-TPP-20150429-0030.html. 

In case you think all the senators were listed, they weren't. Our ethical politicians were in the minority. Want to know who you should be voting for and against? Easy, here is the breakdown by vote:

Only the NAYS are worthy of staying in office. They voted their conscience.

Don't forgive any politician who voted YEA. The YEA votes do not care about America's future. Were they bribed, threatened, or too apathetic to bother reading it?
Our founding fathers would be horrified and ashamed.
Mussolini would be proud.