After quitting, I had a pot dealer roommate, stayed with a good friend who made daily offers, and became romantically involved with a weed smoker. In addition, I kept my own personal stash (it was only last year that I finally got rid of it). Opportunity to smoke has always been here.
How have I stayed clean and sober? Because I chose to. Alcohol and drugs were no longer serving me in a productive way. Did I read any 12 Step books? No, but I bought some. Have I been attending 12 Step meetings? The only meetings I've attended were during Burning Man.
So, why am I writing this? It is probable that I will eventually smoke again. Not a lot, and not to self-medicate. For over a year I've been weighing the pros and cons of introducing marijuana back into my life. Pot gave me energy, helped me exercise, and expanded my mind for more creative writing.
There are people who will think I am going on the wrong path. Some are just anti-marijuana, others may feel like I'm on a slippery slope back into addiction. I have thought long and hard about that and don't believe it to be true. People say that cigarettes or marijuana are the gateway drugs, when in reality it is caffeine and alcohol--but I digress..... I haven't started smoking yet and I'm not even sure when I will. I say "when" because I do expect to smoke weed again. The circumstances will be right, and, this time around, it won't be an inadvertant "moment of weakness" or to mask unhappiness in my life.
4 comments:
Hi,
I've been reading your blog (I can't remember how I got here first, but I stayed) and it looks like you have changed. Or at least you read like you have. So if I were you, I would smoke again, but more important, trust in your own judgement, and trust in that -- if you don't choose the right option -- you will be able to correct your course. I think you have proven that to yourself already.
Cheers (and just my humble opinion)
-- Diego
Diego: Sometimes I forget that people actually read what I write. Thank you for leaving a comment.
Yes, many things about my life--and more importantly, who I am--has changed. I am a happy person now. Because of past issues, I sometimes take longer to think things through (like the topic of this post)...but, once I make a decision, I have confidence in it. :)
Well you will probably lump me into the anti-cannibus group. But I got to ask, what has changed in your life that you feel smoking pot would enhance it? You haven't smoked for about 4 years. What has changed to even make you consider it again? Back when you and I use to hang together I never seen you smoke. And didn't really see you drink all that much either. I realize thing can and have changed in all that time. But if someone you know had given up cigarettes, and 4 years later was telling you that they were considering smoking again, would you ask why?
You seem to be doing well without it, so why start again?
Thanks for sharing :) I feel reflected in many of the things you write about. Keep going!
Cheers
-- Diego
Post a Comment