Synergistic Union

By reading what I wrote it doesn't make sense how I stayed with my ex for so long. Hmmm.. Love is blind I guess. Now my eyes are open.

This is my attempt at getting my thoughts on paper (digital paper?) so I could better clarify within myself what I want in a man and what I expect in my relationships. Sort of an extended "My Ideal Partner" in an unusual format -- half personal ad, half love letter. I didn't write this for anyone in particular; I got the idea after reading Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man. It is not complete but a very good rough draft.

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You know what kind of man you are and know in your heart instantly when something is right for you. If you don't know yourself that well or are "unsure", then you are not the man for me.

Anything you've done in your past doesn't matter. We've both made mistakes in our lives. With me you start with a fresh slate. I expect the same. We are in the here and now and only move forward.

Who I am: self aware, honest even when it hurts to be, happy, tenacious, intelligent, zest for life, experienced, loves Costa Rica, old soul, enjoys reading, adventurous, confident, highly sexual, free and living day by day, non-smoker, motivated, romantic, loyal friend, lovable, smiles and laughs easily, pretty, realist, motherly, likes crossdressers, athletic, lifetime student, kinky, open-minded, likes sports, computer geek, submissive, generous, loving, trustworthy, likes dogs & cats, fair, optimistic, liberal yet conservative, bisexual, logical, reliable, awesome boobs, Dominant, enlightened, sober, independent, thoughtful, thinks outside the box, good in bed, one-of-a-kind, ex-pat mentality, teacher, loves traveling, grateful, helps friends move, respectful, sense-of-humor, spontaneous, spiritual.
Caution: think I know it all, need 10+ hours sleep per day, clumsy, high maintenance, irresponsible at times, talks too fast and too much, not organized, bipolar, ADD/OCD.


Do you want what I have to offer and are you able to live up to my expectations?


My ideal partner has these qualities: honest even when it hurts to be, is my best friend, respectful, we talk about everything, mental/physical/financial/emotional support, knows and likes the true me, loving, spontaneous, zest for life, treats me as an equal, always takes my feelings into consideration, helps me better myself, ex-pat mentality, genius intelligence, likes cats/dogs, listens to me, computer geek, teaches me, can make me laugh, builds and repairs things, thinks outside-the-box, acts like a man and treats me like a lady, worldly, smart in ways I'm not, includes me, takes chances, puts me in my place, likes to learn, high sex drive, reliable, family values, motivated, loves himself, enjoys traveling, athletic, same political beliefs, confident, romantic, good-in-bed, fair, loves unconditionally, shares hopes and dreams, cuddles, funny, responsible, generous, non-smoker.
Without any of these qualities: dishonest, lies, scares me, makes me feel bad about myself, insensitive, violent, drug addiction, alcoholic, disrespectful.


Trust, honesty, respect, and communication are the foundation of our relationship. We start as friends first. While I am looking for my life partner, it must develop naturally. Sex won't come early.

When we marry I expect to take your last name and wear it proudly. Divorce is never an option. While I won't be submissive outside the bedroom, I will always treat you as a man. I appreciate all the things you do for us, from sharing your most private feelings to repairing our house/cars and I tell you so. You appreciate that I want to look good for you and take care of myself and you compliment me regularly. We make love practically everyday for the rest of our lives.

We are each others best friend, sharing our good/bad news with each other first, you always protect me and I take care of your emotional and physical needs in return, we keep each other's secrets. It is us against the world forever. This is the real deal--partners in every sense of the word. We both put "us" before ourselves.

While I would prefer monogamy I am flexible on this. However, neither of us can ever go outside our marriage solo. In order to have sex with someone else, it must be a shared experience with someone who knows we are committed to each other and that they are only a sexual outlet. Threeways are ok, stepping out is not.

Will we have children? I don't know. At my age I only have a 30% chance of conceiving in any given month assuming we have sex on the most peak day. More than half of pregnancies miscarry before the woman even knows she's pregnant. If we manage to conceive and make it past the first month, my chances of miscarriage are 25% (again due to age). I would love to have a child but understand it may not be possible. This cannot be a deciding factor for our marriage. If we decide to have children and are lucky enough to be able to--great!

I promise to love you forever, support you, appreciate you, be loyal, honest, have an active sex life together, be your best friend, respect at all times, and be monogamous. My expectations for you are the same.

As you can see, I've put a lot of time and thought into this. I don't ever want to "settle" again. I want my soulmate.