Even before my first kiss, I read "Looking For Mr. Goodbar" and "Men in Love". Monogamy isn't natural so trust and honesty are key. The movie, "Chasing Amy", fits me and my life. I am grateful for all of my experiences and have few regrets.. In "The Banger Sisters", I am internally both women. "The Ethical Slut" is the handbook which best describes how I view relationships. Men who date me can never deal with the reality of who I was and am now. Lately, I have been seriously considering living as a lesbian.
In order to be anything other than just a fuck, I need to spend months getting to know the other person first. This is non-negotiable. My partner and I should be best friends. If we are best friends first AND have chemistry, everything else will be there.
I want a life partner; someone I can count on always.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Timing
You are The Lovers
Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.
The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.
Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Organic
Today one of my best friends took me to the farmers market and bought me groceries as a birthday/Christmas gift. Good friends are hard to find and I have several. *smile*
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Sliders
My truck isn't reliable so I've stopped driving it except to go to work. So since I'm stuck at home, today is my Sliders marathon day. I expect to have season one and two finished before I go to sleep.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Today is my birthday!
What am I doing? Nothing. Wish I had money to go somewhere. Wish I had gas to go somewhere. :(
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Polyamory vs. Swinging
Most people don't understand the difference. "The Ethical Slut" is a great book to teach how to live the lifestyle in the healthiest manor possible with complete honesty. If you read what I have below (not related to the book) you will learn the difference between a couple that swings and one which is polyamorous.
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Compare and Contrast: Polyamory vs. Swinging
Polyamory is often compared to the swing or swinging lifestyle. They are both part of a broader lifestyle choice of 'open relationships'. Poly and Swing are similar in that they both can involve more than 2 people sexually, and they're open and honest - every one knows what's up. But there are some differences between the two lifestyles that are important to know when using these terms:
Sex vs Relationships: Swing is generally more about recreational sex and polyamory is more about loving relationships. In swinging, friendship is usually the deepest emotional connection that a couple allows with others (and that isn't a requirement for all swingers). Polyamory usually involves deeply emotional connections (love) with multiple people, and sex can (and usually is) an integral part of those relationships. Swinging is more like friends with benefits, whereas polyamory is more along the lines of having multiple boyfriends, girlfriends or spouses. In polyamory, you open yourself up to falling in LOVE with more than one person at a time. In swing, that's usually pretty threatening to the core couple.
Monogamy vs. Non-monogamy: Swinging, in many ways is still monogamously based. While sexual fidelity isn't a part of that monogamy... swinging is very couple-centric. A couple goes into it knowing that neither of them will fall for another person any more emotionally than friendship. Swinging is viewed as safe and non-threatening to the couple's emotionally monogamous relationship. Polyamory usually isn't approached from a couple-centric place. While couples may both date (even date the same person)... the relationships are viewed as individual relationships. In polyamory, you're much more an individual than identified with your relationship structure.
Discreet vs. "Out": Swinging is usually a discreet activity that a couple does on the weekends - whereas polyamorous relationship are part of every day life, and not an activity done from time to time. Usually polyamorous relationships are long term, and have a very regular component to them (daily/weekly, etc.). Polyamorous people usually have a desire to be "out" about their relationships (even if they can't be realistically) - because the people they're involved with hold a very important place in their lives and heart - equivalent to a spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend. Poly people tend to want their partners to be with them for for major events - holidays, weddings, funerals, company picnics, etc. - as well as part of their every day life - grocery shopping, movies, hanging out, etc.
Swinging and Polyamory tend to have a lot of overlap, and there's not a distinct line between the two. I like to think of it as a continuum - and one end you'll find a few hard core swingers who have a lot of fairly anonymous sex, and at the other end you'll find polyfidelious polys who all live together in a closed relationship. But there's a heck of a lot colors in between the two to choose from. I've even heard of the term "Swolly" to define folks that are somewhere between swinging and polyamory. I know poly people who still swing, and I know swingers who have developed poly relationships. And I know plenty of folks who don't worry about the terms, and just go with the flow.
You don't have to choose one or the other - but they are not the same thing. It's important to be able to communicate with potential new partners about what you desire in relationships.
Source: http://www.serolynne.com/polyvsswing.htm
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Compare and Contrast: Polyamory vs. Swinging
Polyamory is often compared to the swing or swinging lifestyle. They are both part of a broader lifestyle choice of 'open relationships'. Poly and Swing are similar in that they both can involve more than 2 people sexually, and they're open and honest - every one knows what's up. But there are some differences between the two lifestyles that are important to know when using these terms:
Sex vs Relationships: Swing is generally more about recreational sex and polyamory is more about loving relationships. In swinging, friendship is usually the deepest emotional connection that a couple allows with others (and that isn't a requirement for all swingers). Polyamory usually involves deeply emotional connections (love) with multiple people, and sex can (and usually is) an integral part of those relationships. Swinging is more like friends with benefits, whereas polyamory is more along the lines of having multiple boyfriends, girlfriends or spouses. In polyamory, you open yourself up to falling in LOVE with more than one person at a time. In swing, that's usually pretty threatening to the core couple.
Monogamy vs. Non-monogamy: Swinging, in many ways is still monogamously based. While sexual fidelity isn't a part of that monogamy... swinging is very couple-centric. A couple goes into it knowing that neither of them will fall for another person any more emotionally than friendship. Swinging is viewed as safe and non-threatening to the couple's emotionally monogamous relationship. Polyamory usually isn't approached from a couple-centric place. While couples may both date (even date the same person)... the relationships are viewed as individual relationships. In polyamory, you're much more an individual than identified with your relationship structure.
Discreet vs. "Out": Swinging is usually a discreet activity that a couple does on the weekends - whereas polyamorous relationship are part of every day life, and not an activity done from time to time. Usually polyamorous relationships are long term, and have a very regular component to them (daily/weekly, etc.). Polyamorous people usually have a desire to be "out" about their relationships (even if they can't be realistically) - because the people they're involved with hold a very important place in their lives and heart - equivalent to a spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend. Poly people tend to want their partners to be with them for for major events - holidays, weddings, funerals, company picnics, etc. - as well as part of their every day life - grocery shopping, movies, hanging out, etc.
Swinging and Polyamory tend to have a lot of overlap, and there's not a distinct line between the two. I like to think of it as a continuum - and one end you'll find a few hard core swingers who have a lot of fairly anonymous sex, and at the other end you'll find polyfidelious polys who all live together in a closed relationship. But there's a heck of a lot colors in between the two to choose from. I've even heard of the term "Swolly" to define folks that are somewhere between swinging and polyamory. I know poly people who still swing, and I know swingers who have developed poly relationships. And I know plenty of folks who don't worry about the terms, and just go with the flow.
You don't have to choose one or the other - but they are not the same thing. It's important to be able to communicate with potential new partners about what you desire in relationships.
Source: http://www.serolynne.com/polyvsswing.htm
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
This made my evening
The girl at the beginning kicking the poor intern's balls is my friend Trisha Uptown. She is a sweetie. It isn't her fault. He painted a bullseye on his crotch and begged for it.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
So I have a "real job" now
...working in marketing again!! Huge paycut but I'm so burnt out on stripping that I don't mind. I love my new job. As of next month I'll be able to support myself again. Things have improved so much in my life. I'm happy.