January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.
...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days . .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The Verdict is in: Your 30 Year "Fixed" Mortgage is NOT fixed.....
The Verdict is in: Your 30 Year "Fixed" Mortgage is NOT fixed.....
I was one of those "company men" that worked and still does work for a Large commercially well known Mortgage Bank....I was set in my Ways of how I thought things worked or were supposed to work in regards to Institutional lending....I am your "typical" type A personality that thought I had it ALL figured out...
I WAS WRONG
I was Blown away when this finally sunk in....Be prepared to be shocked...continue reading....
"The Asher Institute for Consumers is a non-profit consumer advocacy organization that was formed in 2003 to educate and inform consumers about various issues so they can make informed decisions in regards to finances, banking and mortgages. The 25 page article, a.k.a. consumer guide, they wrote is entitled, "Profiting from the Banking Industry's Biggest Secret."
We will show how the mortgage profit game works and how consumers are misled into making a decision that ends up costing them their single best opportunity to be wealthy.
The Truth about the 30-Year Fixed Loan
When it comes to mortgages, most consumers are fairly knowledgeable and are able to choose between the various loan products available and select the one that best fits their needs and risk tolerance. The most highly promoted and most sought after loan is the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage.
Why? Because consumers like the stability of a low fixed rate and a low fixed payment. However, the Asher Institute revealed some shocking truths about the 30-year fixed that stunned both consumers and mortgage industry experts alike.
The Asher Institute found that only one of the two reasons consumers like the 30-year fixed mortgage was actually true.
Which one is false?
The part about the interest rate being fixed. Contrary to public opinion, the interest rate on a 30-year fixed rate mortgage is actually an ADJUSTABLE RATE MORTGAGE and the rate consumers are paying on them is much, much higher than they could ever imagine.
The rate is so high, in fact, that it completely blocks the average consumer's path to financial freedom.
In a couple of pages, you'll see an Amortization Schedule for an average American conforming loan, a $150,000 30-year loan at a "fixed" interest rate of just 6.0%. The Amortization Schedule shows how the loan really works.
Here are some of the facts gleamed from the Amortization Schedule:
Each year the consumer pays $10,792 but a different portion of that total gets credited to Principal and to Interest.
It takes 19 years before just half of the payment goes to Principal.
It takes 24 years before 2/3 of the monthly payment goes to Principal.
After 10 years, 84% of the starting balance is still owed.
After 21 years, half of the starting balance is still owed. (At that point, the consumer will have paid $226,800 with only $75,000 of it going to Principal.)
Amortization Schedule
$150,000 30-YEAR FIXED-RATE MORTGAGE AT 6.0%
"THE LENDER" "THE CONSUMER" PAYMENT = $899.33
Year_________Interest____________Principal___________Balance
1............$8,949.89...........$ 1,842.02..........$148,157.98
3............$8,715.66...........$ 2,076.25..........$144,126.11
6............$8,307.30...........$ 2,484.61..........$137,096.93
9............$7,818.63...........$ 2,973.28..........$128,685.25
12...........$7,233.84...........$ 3,558.07..........$118,619.16
15...........$6,534.04...........$ 4,257.87..........$106,573.27
18...........$5,696.60...........$ 5,095.31..........$ 92,158.18
21...........$4,694.45...........$ 6,097.45..........$ 74,907.92
24...........$3,495.20...........$ 7,296.71..........$ 54,264.88
27...........$2,060.08...........$ 8,731.83..........$ 29,561.75
30...........$ 342.70...........$10,449.21..........$ 0.00
The numbers are heavily skewed in favor of the lender because they are designed to be. It's due to something most consumers are familiar with - front-end load interest.
The result of this system is that the lender collects their interest first, up front. Seems fair, right? But, the Asher Institute also found that the front-end load completely throws off the fixed interest rate schedule.
Look at Year 1. The consumer pays $10,792 ($899.33x12) but only $1842 of it gets credited back to Principal.
What if this house was sold after the first year? Would it seem like 6.0% interest rate was paid? Look at what happens if we were to sell after 9 years. The consumer will have paid $97,128 but less than $21,315 will have gone to Principal. That's not a 6.0% interest rate!
The same holds true for a longer period of time like 21 and 24 years.
So if a 30-year fixed mortgage loan is kept for even 1 month less than 30 years, the rate consumers really wind up paying is higher. How much higher?
The Asher Institute came up with a formula, called the "Effective Rate Formula", that reveals what the real interest rate would be if a front-end load loan was kept for less than the entire 30-year term.
When they applied this formula to the sample 6.0% 30-year loan, the results were scary:
After 25 years, the consumer would have paid almost $270K, with only $104K in loan equity. The actual rate paid would be 9.43%, not 6.0%!
After 20 years, the effective actual rate paid would be 14.82%
Holding on to that low 6.0% interest rate for 10 years would result in paying an actual 43.48% interest rate!
Holding it for 3 years yields an actual 182% rate
1 year --> a 580% rate! <--
Hundreds of consumers and mortgage industry experts were informally polled with the following question:
If you held a 6.0% 30-year fixed-rate loan for 7 years, considering that the interest is front-end loaded and you're not waiting the 30 years, what rate do you think you'd really wind up paying?
The responses given by consumers were what spurred the Asher Institute to develop their consumer guide. Without fail, each consumer and expert guessed between 8% and 12% with an occasional high guess of "triple" which would represent 18%.
The guesses were logical but so far off that it was clear that a major misconception existed!
It was also clear that these numbers had never been disclosed to consumers. No one had ever heard of an "Effective Rate Formula" - it seemed like consumers were aware that mortgage interest is front-end loaded but no one realized exactly how front-end loaded it really is.
Due to the interest rate being front-end loaded, the rate becomes ADJUSTABLE based upon how long the loan is kept. On a 6.0% 30-year fixed, the low "fixed" 6.0% Note Rate is the absolute MINIMUM rate the consumer will pay.
Even though the monthly payment is fixed, the consumer may wind up paying as much as a 580% interest rate, thereby actually making this fixed-rate mortgage an Adjustable Rate Mortgage.
The banks have been relying upon consumers to concentrate on the fact that it will all even out 30 years later. But who keeps the same mortgage, let alone the same house, for 30 years? Nationally, homeowners keep their mortgages for 5 years on average.
Millions of consumers believe that the 30-year mortgage is a smart home loan with many benefits.
But that belief has been very costly - Americans have been standing in line to sign up for loans that are the equivalent of giant credit cards with APR's well over 100%!
Found at: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/rnr/515488387.html
I was one of those "company men" that worked and still does work for a Large commercially well known Mortgage Bank....I was set in my Ways of how I thought things worked or were supposed to work in regards to Institutional lending....I am your "typical" type A personality that thought I had it ALL figured out...
I WAS WRONG
I was Blown away when this finally sunk in....Be prepared to be shocked...continue reading....
"The Asher Institute for Consumers is a non-profit consumer advocacy organization that was formed in 2003 to educate and inform consumers about various issues so they can make informed decisions in regards to finances, banking and mortgages. The 25 page article, a.k.a. consumer guide, they wrote is entitled, "Profiting from the Banking Industry's Biggest Secret."
We will show how the mortgage profit game works and how consumers are misled into making a decision that ends up costing them their single best opportunity to be wealthy.
The Truth about the 30-Year Fixed Loan
When it comes to mortgages, most consumers are fairly knowledgeable and are able to choose between the various loan products available and select the one that best fits their needs and risk tolerance. The most highly promoted and most sought after loan is the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage.
Why? Because consumers like the stability of a low fixed rate and a low fixed payment. However, the Asher Institute revealed some shocking truths about the 30-year fixed that stunned both consumers and mortgage industry experts alike.
The Asher Institute found that only one of the two reasons consumers like the 30-year fixed mortgage was actually true.
Which one is false?
The part about the interest rate being fixed. Contrary to public opinion, the interest rate on a 30-year fixed rate mortgage is actually an ADJUSTABLE RATE MORTGAGE and the rate consumers are paying on them is much, much higher than they could ever imagine.
The rate is so high, in fact, that it completely blocks the average consumer's path to financial freedom.
In a couple of pages, you'll see an Amortization Schedule for an average American conforming loan, a $150,000 30-year loan at a "fixed" interest rate of just 6.0%. The Amortization Schedule shows how the loan really works.
Here are some of the facts gleamed from the Amortization Schedule:
Each year the consumer pays $10,792 but a different portion of that total gets credited to Principal and to Interest.
It takes 19 years before just half of the payment goes to Principal.
It takes 24 years before 2/3 of the monthly payment goes to Principal.
After 10 years, 84% of the starting balance is still owed.
After 21 years, half of the starting balance is still owed. (At that point, the consumer will have paid $226,800 with only $75,000 of it going to Principal.)
Amortization Schedule
$150,000 30-YEAR FIXED-RATE MORTGAGE AT 6.0%
"THE LENDER" "THE CONSUMER" PAYMENT = $899.33
Year_________Interest____________Principal___________Balance
1............$8,949.89...........$ 1,842.02..........$148,157.98
3............$8,715.66...........$ 2,076.25..........$144,126.11
6............$8,307.30...........$ 2,484.61..........$137,096.93
9............$7,818.63...........$ 2,973.28..........$128,685.25
12...........$7,233.84...........$ 3,558.07..........$118,619.16
15...........$6,534.04...........$ 4,257.87..........$106,573.27
18...........$5,696.60...........$ 5,095.31..........$ 92,158.18
21...........$4,694.45...........$ 6,097.45..........$ 74,907.92
24...........$3,495.20...........$ 7,296.71..........$ 54,264.88
27...........$2,060.08...........$ 8,731.83..........$ 29,561.75
30...........$ 342.70...........$10,449.21..........$ 0.00
The numbers are heavily skewed in favor of the lender because they are designed to be. It's due to something most consumers are familiar with - front-end load interest.
The result of this system is that the lender collects their interest first, up front. Seems fair, right? But, the Asher Institute also found that the front-end load completely throws off the fixed interest rate schedule.
Look at Year 1. The consumer pays $10,792 ($899.33x12) but only $1842 of it gets credited back to Principal.
What if this house was sold after the first year? Would it seem like 6.0% interest rate was paid? Look at what happens if we were to sell after 9 years. The consumer will have paid $97,128 but less than $21,315 will have gone to Principal. That's not a 6.0% interest rate!
The same holds true for a longer period of time like 21 and 24 years.
So if a 30-year fixed mortgage loan is kept for even 1 month less than 30 years, the rate consumers really wind up paying is higher. How much higher?
The Asher Institute came up with a formula, called the "Effective Rate Formula", that reveals what the real interest rate would be if a front-end load loan was kept for less than the entire 30-year term.
When they applied this formula to the sample 6.0% 30-year loan, the results were scary:
After 25 years, the consumer would have paid almost $270K, with only $104K in loan equity. The actual rate paid would be 9.43%, not 6.0%!
After 20 years, the effective actual rate paid would be 14.82%
Holding on to that low 6.0% interest rate for 10 years would result in paying an actual 43.48% interest rate!
Holding it for 3 years yields an actual 182% rate
1 year --> a 580% rate! <--
Hundreds of consumers and mortgage industry experts were informally polled with the following question:
If you held a 6.0% 30-year fixed-rate loan for 7 years, considering that the interest is front-end loaded and you're not waiting the 30 years, what rate do you think you'd really wind up paying?
The responses given by consumers were what spurred the Asher Institute to develop their consumer guide. Without fail, each consumer and expert guessed between 8% and 12% with an occasional high guess of "triple" which would represent 18%.
The guesses were logical but so far off that it was clear that a major misconception existed!
It was also clear that these numbers had never been disclosed to consumers. No one had ever heard of an "Effective Rate Formula" - it seemed like consumers were aware that mortgage interest is front-end loaded but no one realized exactly how front-end loaded it really is.
Due to the interest rate being front-end loaded, the rate becomes ADJUSTABLE based upon how long the loan is kept. On a 6.0% 30-year fixed, the low "fixed" 6.0% Note Rate is the absolute MINIMUM rate the consumer will pay.
Even though the monthly payment is fixed, the consumer may wind up paying as much as a 580% interest rate, thereby actually making this fixed-rate mortgage an Adjustable Rate Mortgage.
The banks have been relying upon consumers to concentrate on the fact that it will all even out 30 years later. But who keeps the same mortgage, let alone the same house, for 30 years? Nationally, homeowners keep their mortgages for 5 years on average.
Millions of consumers believe that the 30-year mortgage is a smart home loan with many benefits.
But that belief has been very costly - Americans have been standing in line to sign up for loans that are the equivalent of giant credit cards with APR's well over 100%!
Found at: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/rnr/515488387.html
Monday, December 17, 2007
Looking for a soulmate? Date me first! - w4m
That's right, I'm offering to be the primer for the love of your life. Come one, come all! I am currently running a 92% success rate. If you are looking to be married or domestically partnered, date me first, and you are assured to find your soul mate as soon as we break up! Current data has shown that the more intense we get, the more quickly you will find that special someone...so don't hold back!
HELPFUL HINTS: From analyzing 15 years of accurate data (verifiable by friends and family), the following may be helpful:
1. Practice makes perfect. Please use phrases like "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and "I want you to have my children". Studies 3, 7, and 12 demonstrate a 100% success rate with this practice run alone!
2. Introduce me to your family. Studies have shown (1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 9, 11, and 12) that odds increase when you bring me home to meet your gene pool. Bonus points include having a mother whose Hummel collection I can admire, taking me to a wedding where I can dance the Chicken Dance, and having an incredibly creepy family member who likes to stare at my breasts.
3. Have a tragic past (1, 3, 5, 6, and 10). I am proficient at sitting quietly, gently stroking your back, while you sob about a.) your parent's divorce, b.) your inability to find meaning in your life, c.) past relationships (pictures a plus!), and d.) abuse in any way, shape, or form...most successful in this arena has been the ambiguous lone sexual interaction with a distant relative (see 2).
So that's right, folks...all you men looking for a soul-mate, I AM your answer. I will guarantee an earnest, naive belief that you either love me "like you've never loved anyone before" or that you've actually "never really been in love before now".
I will patiently buy into your confusion while you slowly fall in love with a.) your child's ballet teacher, b.) your ex-wife, c.) the woman who works at the used bookstore where you obsessively buy Cheever hardbacks, or d.) your Tai Chi instructor. These, of course, are just a few examples of the many potential soulmates towards whom you can rebound after (or before) leaving me!
With a 92% success rate, you are almost GUARANTEED to find your sweetie. And if you act now, I will throw in an offer to actually BE FRIENDS with you after we break up - that's right, just picture it - you, me, and the love of your life can all go to the movies! What more could you want? There's someone out there just waiting for you to date me.
Source: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/msr/512225813.html
HELPFUL HINTS: From analyzing 15 years of accurate data (verifiable by friends and family), the following may be helpful:
1. Practice makes perfect. Please use phrases like "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and "I want you to have my children". Studies 3, 7, and 12 demonstrate a 100% success rate with this practice run alone!
2. Introduce me to your family. Studies have shown (1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 9, 11, and 12) that odds increase when you bring me home to meet your gene pool. Bonus points include having a mother whose Hummel collection I can admire, taking me to a wedding where I can dance the Chicken Dance, and having an incredibly creepy family member who likes to stare at my breasts.
3. Have a tragic past (1, 3, 5, 6, and 10). I am proficient at sitting quietly, gently stroking your back, while you sob about a.) your parent's divorce, b.) your inability to find meaning in your life, c.) past relationships (pictures a plus!), and d.) abuse in any way, shape, or form...most successful in this arena has been the ambiguous lone sexual interaction with a distant relative (see 2).
So that's right, folks...all you men looking for a soul-mate, I AM your answer. I will guarantee an earnest, naive belief that you either love me "like you've never loved anyone before" or that you've actually "never really been in love before now".
I will patiently buy into your confusion while you slowly fall in love with a.) your child's ballet teacher, b.) your ex-wife, c.) the woman who works at the used bookstore where you obsessively buy Cheever hardbacks, or d.) your Tai Chi instructor. These, of course, are just a few examples of the many potential soulmates towards whom you can rebound after (or before) leaving me!
With a 92% success rate, you are almost GUARANTEED to find your sweetie. And if you act now, I will throw in an offer to actually BE FRIENDS with you after we break up - that's right, just picture it - you, me, and the love of your life can all go to the movies! What more could you want? There's someone out there just waiting for you to date me.
Source: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/msr/512225813.html
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
Leaving Las Vegas
Yeah! It's about time! While Vegas is a fun place to visit, it's a terrible place to live. Of course I'll still come back for conventions and to dance. BYE-BYE!!!!
:-) :-)
:-) :-)
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
If you could see into the future
If you could see into the future, would you make a preemptive strike against someone you knew was going to screw you over?
I wouldn't. Most people probably would.
I wouldn't. Most people probably would.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Taking risks in love
Life is a gamble. Everything you do has consequences: some good, some bad. This is why you should always stay true to yourself. Do what you want, be who you want, live as you want. When something feels really right, do whatever it takes to pursue it.
"Good things take time. Great things happen all at once."
Last year a met a man at work. He and I kept in contact and in August we started dating. Soon I will be getting rid of almost all my belongings and moving in with him. Why? It feels too right to not. My basic motto for life is "minimizing regret". And if this relationship is as serious as I think, I am making one of the best choices of my life. Everything is a gamble. At worst, I will have given away my material things and moved thousands of miles for a failed relationship. At best, I joined my soulmate. Worst case scenario isn't that bad and easily worth risking for true love and happiness.
"Good things take time. Great things happen all at once."
Last year a met a man at work. He and I kept in contact and in August we started dating. Soon I will be getting rid of almost all my belongings and moving in with him. Why? It feels too right to not. My basic motto for life is "minimizing regret". And if this relationship is as serious as I think, I am making one of the best choices of my life. Everything is a gamble. At worst, I will have given away my material things and moved thousands of miles for a failed relationship. At best, I joined my soulmate. Worst case scenario isn't that bad and easily worth risking for true love and happiness.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
My Wish List
So...you want to make me smile or bribe me? ;-p
Click below for a list of items I will appreciate:
My Wish List
Click below for a list of items I will appreciate:
My Wish List
Monday, November 26, 2007
Anxiety
I've been off my anxiety meds for the past 4 months. During the Thanksgiving holiday I took a few Xanax. They didn't make me feel drugged at all and helped me deal with stress. This makes me believe that I should go back on meds.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
trait snapshot:
expressive, open, self revealing, loves large parties, loud, social, outgoing, does not like social isolation, assertive, social chameleon, positive, always busy, likes to fit in, likes to stand out, enjoys leadership, brutally honest, trusting, optimistic, desires attention, dominant, aggressive, attachment prone, wants to be understood, realistic
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Brrrr..
Just got back from Michigan. At one point it was 21 degrees! Vegas was 40 when the plane arrived and it felt wonderful. This trip ended up being to busy to meet up with Lori. Hopefully next time! ;-)
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Going to the snow!
Spending the holidays in Michigan with my boyfriend's family. I don't even have snow clothes. If time permits, Lori Anderson and I may meet up for coffee. She's a hottie! ;-)
Monday, November 19, 2007
Can't stop looking at porn & Craigslist
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Climate change report to warn of potentially 'irreversible' impacts
by Marlowe Hood
Fri Nov 16, 1:31 PM ET
VALENCIA, Spain (AFP) - Less than three weeks before a crucial conference on climate change, UN experts agreed Friday on a draft report that warns global warming may have far-reaching and irreversible consequences.
The report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is designed to guide policymakers for the next five years.
Delegates to the Nobel-winning scientific authority agreed the draft after night-long negotiations, chief French delegate Marc Gillet told AFP.
Human activities "could lead to abrupt or irreversible climate changes and impacts," the agreed text said.
The report will be officially adopted on Saturday, followed by a press conference attended by United Nations chief Ban Ki-moon.
It summarizes three massive documents issued this year covering the evidence for climate change; the present and possible future impacts of it; and the options for tackling the peril.
After Saturday, attention shifts to a key meeting in Bali, Indonesia, where governments must set down a "roadmap" for negotiations culminating in a deal to slash carbon emissions and help developing nations cope with climate change.
The IPCC experts agreed that the rise in Earth's temperature observed in the past few decades was principally due to human causes, not natural ones, as "climate sceptics" often aver.
The impacts of climate change are already visible, in the form of retreating glaciers and snow loss in alpine regions, thinning Arctic summer sea ice and thawing permafrost, according to the three IPCC reports issued earlier this year.
But sometimes sharp disagreement emerged during the five days of negotiations in Valencia to hammer out the summary, even though the main findings remained untouched.
US delegates in particular said references to "irreversible" climate change and impacts were imprecise.
They argued, for example, that the melting of glaciers or ice sheets -- which could raise ocean levels by several meters (a dozen feet) -- was not "irreversible" as ice could eventually reform.
"But we are not dealing with geological time scales of tens of thousands of years," said one delegate, irked by this reasoning. "We are talking about dire consequences to humans and the environment in the coming decades."
By 2100, global average surface temperatures could rise by between 1.1 C (1.98 F) and 6.4 C (11.52 F) compared to 1980-99 levels, while sea levels will rise by between 18 and 59 centimetres (7.2 and 23.2 inches), according to the IPCC's forecast.
Heatwaves, rainstorms, drought, tropical cyclones and surges in sea level are among the events expected to become more frequent, more widespread and/or more intense this century.
As a result, water shortages, hunger, flooding and damage to homes will be a heightened threat.
"All countries" will be affected, according to the IPCC. Those bearing the brunt, though, will be poor countries which incidentally bear the least responsibility for creating the problem.
Green groups applauded the provisional report, saying it hiked pressure on world leaders to curb greenhouse gases.
"The result appears to be much better than we had expected going into the meeting," said Stephanie Tunmore of Greenpeace, which along with the WWF is an official observer at IPCC meetings.
"It could be a groundbreaking document to pave the way for deep emissions cuts by developed countries," said WWF's Stephan Singer.
Belgian IPCC delegate Jean-Pascal van Ypersele said his concerns that the synthesis would only be a "cut-and-paste" rather than a coherent summary proved unfounded.
He pointed to a draft section on "key vulnerabilities" that distilled the main reasons for concern about global warming.
Despite sharp challenges, especially from the US, the text remained intact, making "the problems more prominent," he said.
The IPCC won this year's Nobel Peace Prize alongside climate campaigner and former US vice president Al Gore.
The December 3-14 conference in Bali aims at deepening and accelerating cuts in greenhouse-gas pollution after 2012, when current pledges under the UN's Kyoto Protocol expire.
There is now broad agreement on the amplifying scale of the problem, but countries remain sharply divided on how to tackle it, fearing economic costs and loss of competitive advantage.
* source:
Fri Nov 16, 1:31 PM ET
VALENCIA, Spain (AFP) - Less than three weeks before a crucial conference on climate change, UN experts agreed Friday on a draft report that warns global warming may have far-reaching and irreversible consequences.
The report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is designed to guide policymakers for the next five years.
Delegates to the Nobel-winning scientific authority agreed the draft after night-long negotiations, chief French delegate Marc Gillet told AFP.
Human activities "could lead to abrupt or irreversible climate changes and impacts," the agreed text said.
The report will be officially adopted on Saturday, followed by a press conference attended by United Nations chief Ban Ki-moon.
It summarizes three massive documents issued this year covering the evidence for climate change; the present and possible future impacts of it; and the options for tackling the peril.
After Saturday, attention shifts to a key meeting in Bali, Indonesia, where governments must set down a "roadmap" for negotiations culminating in a deal to slash carbon emissions and help developing nations cope with climate change.
The IPCC experts agreed that the rise in Earth's temperature observed in the past few decades was principally due to human causes, not natural ones, as "climate sceptics" often aver.
The impacts of climate change are already visible, in the form of retreating glaciers and snow loss in alpine regions, thinning Arctic summer sea ice and thawing permafrost, according to the three IPCC reports issued earlier this year.
But sometimes sharp disagreement emerged during the five days of negotiations in Valencia to hammer out the summary, even though the main findings remained untouched.
US delegates in particular said references to "irreversible" climate change and impacts were imprecise.
They argued, for example, that the melting of glaciers or ice sheets -- which could raise ocean levels by several meters (a dozen feet) -- was not "irreversible" as ice could eventually reform.
"But we are not dealing with geological time scales of tens of thousands of years," said one delegate, irked by this reasoning. "We are talking about dire consequences to humans and the environment in the coming decades."
By 2100, global average surface temperatures could rise by between 1.1 C (1.98 F) and 6.4 C (11.52 F) compared to 1980-99 levels, while sea levels will rise by between 18 and 59 centimetres (7.2 and 23.2 inches), according to the IPCC's forecast.
Heatwaves, rainstorms, drought, tropical cyclones and surges in sea level are among the events expected to become more frequent, more widespread and/or more intense this century.
As a result, water shortages, hunger, flooding and damage to homes will be a heightened threat.
"All countries" will be affected, according to the IPCC. Those bearing the brunt, though, will be poor countries which incidentally bear the least responsibility for creating the problem.
Green groups applauded the provisional report, saying it hiked pressure on world leaders to curb greenhouse gases.
"The result appears to be much better than we had expected going into the meeting," said Stephanie Tunmore of Greenpeace, which along with the WWF is an official observer at IPCC meetings.
"It could be a groundbreaking document to pave the way for deep emissions cuts by developed countries," said WWF's Stephan Singer.
Belgian IPCC delegate Jean-Pascal van Ypersele said his concerns that the synthesis would only be a "cut-and-paste" rather than a coherent summary proved unfounded.
He pointed to a draft section on "key vulnerabilities" that distilled the main reasons for concern about global warming.
Despite sharp challenges, especially from the US, the text remained intact, making "the problems more prominent," he said.
The IPCC won this year's Nobel Peace Prize alongside climate campaigner and former US vice president Al Gore.
The December 3-14 conference in Bali aims at deepening and accelerating cuts in greenhouse-gas pollution after 2012, when current pledges under the UN's Kyoto Protocol expire.
There is now broad agreement on the amplifying scale of the problem, but countries remain sharply divided on how to tackle it, fearing economic costs and loss of competitive advantage.
* source:
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Playboy Mansion party
I am hoping to go to the Playboy Mansion party tomorrow night. If so, I may show up bodypainted.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
POKIN AROUND: A real person, a real death
POKIN AROUND: A real person, a real death
By Steve Pokin
Saturday, November 10, 2007 12:40 PM CST
His name was Josh Evans. He was 16 years old. And he was hot.
"Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at him!" Tina Meier recalls her daughter saying.
Josh had contacted Megan Meier through her MySpace page and wanted to be added as a friend.Yes, he's cute, Tina Meier told her daughter. "Do you know who he is?"
"No, but look at him! He's hot! Please, please, can I add him?"
Mom said yes. And for six weeks Megan and Josh - under Tina's watchful eye - became acquainted in the virtual world of MySpace.
Josh said he was born in Florida and recently had moved to O'Fallon. He was homeschooled. He played the guitar and drums.
He was from a broken home: "when i was 7 my dad left me and my mom and my older brother and my newborn brother 3 boys god i know poor mom yeah she had such a hard time when we were younger finding work to pay for us after he loeft."
As for 13-year-old Megan, of Dardenne Prairie, this is how she expressed who she was:
M is for Modern
E is for Enthusiastic
G is for Goofy
A is for Alluring
N is for Neglected.
She loved swimming, boating, fishing, dogs, rap music and boys. But her life had not always been easy, her mother says.
She was heavy and for years had tried to lose weight. She had attention deficit disorder and battled depression. Back in third grade she had talked about suicide, Tina says, and ever since had seen a therapist.
But things were going exceptionally well. She had shed 20 pounds, getting down to 175. She was 5 foot 5½ inches tall.
She had just started eighth grade at a new school, Immaculate Conception, in Dardenne Prairie, where she was on the volleyball team. She had attended Fort Zumwalt public schools before that.
Amid all these positives, Tina says, her daughter decided to end a friendship with a girlfriend who lived down the street from them. The girls had spent much of seventh grade alternating between being friends and, the next day, not being friends, Tina says.
Part of the reason for Megan's rosy outlook was Josh, Tina says. After school, Megan would rush to the computer.
"Megan had a lifelong struggle with weight and self-esteem," Tina says. "And now she finally had a boy who she thought really thought she was pretty."
It did seem odd, Tina says, that Josh never asked for Megan's phone number. And when Megan asked for his, she says, Josh said he didn't have a cell and his mother did not yet have a landline.
And then on Sunday, Oct. 15, 2006, Megan received a puzzling and disturbing message from Josh. Tina recalls that it said: "I don't know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I've heard that you are not very nice to your friends."
Frantic, Megan shot back: "What are you talking about?"
SHADOWY CYBERSPACE
Tina Meier was wary of the cyber-world of MySpace and its 70 million users. People are not always who they say they are.
Tina knew firsthand. Megan and the girl down the block, the former friend, once had created a fake MySpace account, using the photo of a good-looking girl as a way to talk to boys online, Tina says. When Tina found out, she ended Megan's access.
MySpace has rules. A lot of them. There are nine pages of terms and conditions. The long list of prohibited content includes sexual material. And users must be at least 14.
"Are you joking?" Tina asks. "There are fifth-grade girls who have MySpace accounts."
As for sexual content, Tina says, most parents have no clue how much there is. And Megan wasn't 14 when she opened her account. To join, you are asked your age but there is no check. The accounts are free.
As Megan's 14th birthday approached, she pleaded for her mom to give her another chance on MySpace, and Tina relented.
She told Megan she would be all over this account, monitoring it. Megan didn't always make good choices because of her ADD, Tina says. And this time, Megan's page would be set to private and only Mom and Dad would have the password.
'GOD-AWFUL FEELING'
Monday, Oct. 16, 2006, was a rainy, bleak day. At school, Megan had handed out invitations to her upcoming birthday party and when she got home she asked her mother to log on to MySpace to see if Josh had responded.
Why did he suddenly think she was mean? Who had he been talking to?
Tina signed on. But she was in a hurry. She had to take her younger daughter, Allison, to the orthodontist.
Before Tina could get out the door it was clear Megan was upset. Josh still was sending troubling messages. And he apparently had shared some of Megan's messages with others.
Tina recalled telling Megan to sign off.
"I will Mom," Megan said. "Let me finish up."
Tina was pressed for time. She had to go. But once at the orthodontist's office she called Megan: Did you sign off?
"No, Mom. They are all being so mean to me."
"You are not listening to me, Megan! Sign off, now!"
Fifteen minutes later, Megan called her mother. By now Megan was in tears.
"They are posting bulletins about me." A bulletin is like a survey. "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat."
Megan was sobbing hysterically. Tina was furious that she had not signed off.
Once Tina returned home she rushed into the basement where the computer was. Tina was shocked at the vulgar language her daughter was firing back at people.
"I am so aggravated at you for doing this!" she told Megan.
Megan ran from the computer and left, but not without first telling Tina, "You're supposed to be my mom! You're supposed to be on my side!"
On the stairway leading to her second-story bedroom, Megan ran into her father, Ron.
"I grabbed her as she tried to go by," Ron says. "She told me that some kids were saying horrible stuff about her and she didn't understand why. I told her it's OK. I told her that they obviously don't know her. And that it would be fine."
Megan went to her room and Ron went downstairs to the kitchen, where he and Tina talked about what had happened, the MySpace account, and made dinner.
Twenty minutes later, Tina suddenly froze in mid-sentence.
"I had this God-awful feeling and I ran up into her room and she had hung herself in the closet."
Megan Taylor Meier died the next day, three weeks before her 14th birthday.
Later that day, Ron opened his daughter's MySpace account and viewed what he believes to be the final message Megan saw - one the FBI would be unable to retrieve from the hard drive.
It was from Josh and, according to Ron's best recollection, it said, "Everybody in O'Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you."
BEYOND GRIEF INTO FURY
Tina and Ron saw a grief counselor. Tina went to a couple of Parents After Loss of Suicide meetings, as well.
They tried to message Josh Evans, to let him know the deadly power of mean words. But his MySpace account had been deleted.
The day after Megan's death, they went down the street to comfort the family of the girl who had once been Megan's friend. They let the girl and her family know that although she and Megan had their ups and down, Megan valued her friendship.
They also attended the girl's birthday party, although Ron had to leave when it came time to sing "Happy Birthday." The Meiers went to the father's 50th birthday celebration. In addition, the Meiers stored a foosball table, a Christmas gift, for that family.
Six weeks after Megan died, on a Saturday morning, a neighbor down the street, a different neighbor, one they didn't know well, called and insisted that they meet that morning at a counselor's office in northern O'Fallon.
The woman would not provide details. Ron and Tina went. Their grief counselor was there. As well as a counselor from Fort Zumwalt West Middle School.
The neighbor from down the street, a single mom with a daughter the same age as Megan, informed the Meiers that Josh Evans never existed.
She told the Meiers that Josh Evans was created by adults, a family on their block. These adults, she told the Meiers, were the parents of Megan's former girlfriend, the one with whom she had a falling out. These were the people who'd asked the Meiers to store their foosball table.
The single mother, for this story, requested that her name not be used. She said her daughter, who had carpooled with the family that was involved in creating the phony MySpace account, had the password to the Josh Evans account and had sent one message - the one Megan received (and later retrieved off the hard drive) the night before she took her life.
"She had been encouraged to join in the joke," the single mother said.
The single mother said her daughter feels the guilt of not saying something sooner and for writing that message. Her daughter didn't speak out sooner because she'd known the other family for years and thought that what they were doing must be OK because, after all, they were trusted adults.
On the night the ambulance came for Megan, the single mother said, before it left the Meiers' house her daughter received a call. It was the woman behind the creation of the Josh Evans account. She had called to tell the girl that something had happened to Megan and advised the girl not to mention the MySpace account.
AX AND SLEDGEHAMMER
The Meiers went home and tore into the foosball table.
Tina used an ax and Ron a sledgehammer. They put the pieces in Ron's pickup and dumped them in their neighbor's driveway. Tina spray painted "Merry Christmas" on the box.
According to Tina, Megan had gone on vacations with this family. They knew how she struggled with depression, that she took medication.
"I know that they did not physically come up to our house and tie a belt around her neck," Tina says. "But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old - with or without mental problems - it is absolutely vile.
"She wanted to get Megan to feel like she was liked by a boy and let everyone know this was a false MySpace and have everyone laugh at her.
"I don't feel their intentions were for her to kill herself. But that's how it ended."
'GAINING MEGAN'S CONFIDENCE'
That same day, the family down the street tried to talk to the Meiers. Ron asked friends to convince them to leave before he physically harmed them.
In a letter dated Nov. 30, 2006, the family tells Ron and Tina, "We are sorry for the extreme pain you are going through and can only imagine how difficult it must be. We have every compassion for you and your family."
The Suburban Journals have decided not to name the family out of consideration for their teenage daughter.
The mother declined comment.
"I have been advised not to give out any information and I apologize for that," she says. "I would love to sit here and talk to you about it but I can't."
She was informed that without her direct comment the newspaper would rely heavily on the police report she filed with the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department regarding the destroyed foosball table.
"I will tell you that the police report is totally wrong," the mother said. "We have worked on getting that changed. I would just be very careful about what you write."
Lt. Craig McGuire, spokesman for the sheriff's department, said he is unaware of anyone contacting the department to alter the report.
"We stand behind the report as written," McGuire says. "There was no supplement to it. What is in the report is what we believe she told us."
The police report - without using the mother's name - states:
"(She) stated in the months leading up Meier's daughter's suicide, she instigated and monitored a 'my space' account which was created for the sole purpose of communicating with Meier's daughter.
"(She) said she, with the help of temporary employee named ------ constructed a profile of 'good looking' male on 'my space' in order to 'find out what Megan (Meier's daughter) was saying on-line' about her daughter. (She) explained the communication between the fake male profile and Megan was aimed at gaining Megan's confidence and finding out what Megan felt about her daughter and other people.
"(She) stated she, her daughter and (the temporary employee) all typed, read and monitored the communication between the fake male profile and Megan …..
"According to (her) 'somehow' other 'my space' users were able to access the fake male profile and Megan found out she had been duped. (She) stated she knew 'arguments' had broken out between Megan and others on 'my space.' (She) felt this incident contributed to Megan's suicide, but she did not feel 'as guilty' because at the funeral she found out 'Megan had tried to commit suicide before.'"
Tina says her daughter died thinking Josh was real and that she never before attempted suicide.
"She was the happiest she had ever been in her life," Ron says.
After years of wearing braces, Megan was scheduled to have them removed the day she died. And she was looking forward to her birthday party.
"She and her mom went shopping and bought a new dress," Ron says. "She wanted to make this grand entrance with me carrying her down the stairs. I never got to see her in that dress until the funeral."
NO CRIMINAL CHARGES
It does not appear that there will be criminal charges filed in connection with Megan's death.
"We did not have a charge to fit it," McGuire says. "I don't know that anybody can sit down and say, 'This is why this young girl took her life.'"
The Meiers say the matter also was investigated by the FBI, which analyzed the family computer and conducted interviews. Ron said a stumbling block is that the FBI was unable to retrieve the electronic messages from Megan's final day, including that final message that only Ron saw.
The Meiers do not plan to file a civil lawsuit. Here's what they want: They want the law changed, state or federal, so that what happened to Megan - at the hands of an adult - is a crime.
THE AFTERMATH IS PAIN
The Meiers are divorcing. Ron says Tina was as vigilant as a parent could be in monitoring Megan on MySpace. Yet she blames herself.
"I have this awful, horrible guilt and this I can never change," she said. "Ever."
Ron struggles daily with the loss of a daughter who, no matter how low she felt, tried to make others laugh and feel a little bit better.
He has difficulty maintaining focus and has kept his job as a tool and die maker through the grace and understanding of his employer, he says. His emotions remain jagged, on edge.
Christine Buckles lives in the same Waterford Crossing subdivision. In her view, everyone in the subdivision knows of Megan's death, but few know of the other family's involvement.
Tina says she and Ron have dissuaded angry friends and family members from vandalizing the other home for one, and only one, reason.
"The police will think we did it," Tina says.
Ron faces a misdemeanor charge of property damage. He is accused of driving his truck across the lawn of the family down the street, doing $1,000 in damage, in March. A security camera the neighbors installed on their home allegedly caught him.
It was Tina, a real estate agent, who helped the other family purchase their home on the same block 2½ years ago.
"I just wish they would go away, move," Ron says.
Vicki Dunn, Tina's aunt, last month placed signs in and near the neighborhood on the anniversary of Megan's death.
They read: "Justice for Megan Meier," "Call the St. Charles County Prosecuting Attorney," and "MySpace Impersonator in Your Neighborhood."
On the window outside Megan's room is an ornamental angel that Ron turns on almost every night. Inside are pictures of boys, posters of Usher, Beyonce and on the dresser a tube of instant bronzer.
"She was all about getting a tan," Ron says.
He has placed the doors back on the closet. Megan had them off.
If only she had waited, talked to someone, or just made it to dinner, then through the evening, and then on to the beginning of a new day in what could have been a remarkable life.
If she had, he says, there is no doubt she would have chosen to live. Instead, there is so much pain.
"She never would have wanted to see her parents divorce," Ron says.
Ultimately, it was Megan's choice to do what she did, he says. "But it was like someone handed her a loaded gun."
Story found at http://stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2007/11/10/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt
By Steve Pokin
Saturday, November 10, 2007 12:40 PM CST
His name was Josh Evans. He was 16 years old. And he was hot.
"Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at him!" Tina Meier recalls her daughter saying.
Josh had contacted Megan Meier through her MySpace page and wanted to be added as a friend.Yes, he's cute, Tina Meier told her daughter. "Do you know who he is?"
"No, but look at him! He's hot! Please, please, can I add him?"
Mom said yes. And for six weeks Megan and Josh - under Tina's watchful eye - became acquainted in the virtual world of MySpace.
Josh said he was born in Florida and recently had moved to O'Fallon. He was homeschooled. He played the guitar and drums.
He was from a broken home: "when i was 7 my dad left me and my mom and my older brother and my newborn brother 3 boys god i know poor mom yeah she had such a hard time when we were younger finding work to pay for us after he loeft."
As for 13-year-old Megan, of Dardenne Prairie, this is how she expressed who she was:
M is for Modern
E is for Enthusiastic
G is for Goofy
A is for Alluring
N is for Neglected.
She loved swimming, boating, fishing, dogs, rap music and boys. But her life had not always been easy, her mother says.
She was heavy and for years had tried to lose weight. She had attention deficit disorder and battled depression. Back in third grade she had talked about suicide, Tina says, and ever since had seen a therapist.
But things were going exceptionally well. She had shed 20 pounds, getting down to 175. She was 5 foot 5½ inches tall.
She had just started eighth grade at a new school, Immaculate Conception, in Dardenne Prairie, where she was on the volleyball team. She had attended Fort Zumwalt public schools before that.
Amid all these positives, Tina says, her daughter decided to end a friendship with a girlfriend who lived down the street from them. The girls had spent much of seventh grade alternating between being friends and, the next day, not being friends, Tina says.
Part of the reason for Megan's rosy outlook was Josh, Tina says. After school, Megan would rush to the computer.
"Megan had a lifelong struggle with weight and self-esteem," Tina says. "And now she finally had a boy who she thought really thought she was pretty."
It did seem odd, Tina says, that Josh never asked for Megan's phone number. And when Megan asked for his, she says, Josh said he didn't have a cell and his mother did not yet have a landline.
And then on Sunday, Oct. 15, 2006, Megan received a puzzling and disturbing message from Josh. Tina recalls that it said: "I don't know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I've heard that you are not very nice to your friends."
Frantic, Megan shot back: "What are you talking about?"
SHADOWY CYBERSPACE
Tina Meier was wary of the cyber-world of MySpace and its 70 million users. People are not always who they say they are.
Tina knew firsthand. Megan and the girl down the block, the former friend, once had created a fake MySpace account, using the photo of a good-looking girl as a way to talk to boys online, Tina says. When Tina found out, she ended Megan's access.
MySpace has rules. A lot of them. There are nine pages of terms and conditions. The long list of prohibited content includes sexual material. And users must be at least 14.
"Are you joking?" Tina asks. "There are fifth-grade girls who have MySpace accounts."
As for sexual content, Tina says, most parents have no clue how much there is. And Megan wasn't 14 when she opened her account. To join, you are asked your age but there is no check. The accounts are free.
As Megan's 14th birthday approached, she pleaded for her mom to give her another chance on MySpace, and Tina relented.
She told Megan she would be all over this account, monitoring it. Megan didn't always make good choices because of her ADD, Tina says. And this time, Megan's page would be set to private and only Mom and Dad would have the password.
'GOD-AWFUL FEELING'
Monday, Oct. 16, 2006, was a rainy, bleak day. At school, Megan had handed out invitations to her upcoming birthday party and when she got home she asked her mother to log on to MySpace to see if Josh had responded.
Why did he suddenly think she was mean? Who had he been talking to?
Tina signed on. But she was in a hurry. She had to take her younger daughter, Allison, to the orthodontist.
Before Tina could get out the door it was clear Megan was upset. Josh still was sending troubling messages. And he apparently had shared some of Megan's messages with others.
Tina recalled telling Megan to sign off.
"I will Mom," Megan said. "Let me finish up."
Tina was pressed for time. She had to go. But once at the orthodontist's office she called Megan: Did you sign off?
"No, Mom. They are all being so mean to me."
"You are not listening to me, Megan! Sign off, now!"
Fifteen minutes later, Megan called her mother. By now Megan was in tears.
"They are posting bulletins about me." A bulletin is like a survey. "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat."
Megan was sobbing hysterically. Tina was furious that she had not signed off.
Once Tina returned home she rushed into the basement where the computer was. Tina was shocked at the vulgar language her daughter was firing back at people.
"I am so aggravated at you for doing this!" she told Megan.
Megan ran from the computer and left, but not without first telling Tina, "You're supposed to be my mom! You're supposed to be on my side!"
On the stairway leading to her second-story bedroom, Megan ran into her father, Ron.
"I grabbed her as she tried to go by," Ron says. "She told me that some kids were saying horrible stuff about her and she didn't understand why. I told her it's OK. I told her that they obviously don't know her. And that it would be fine."
Megan went to her room and Ron went downstairs to the kitchen, where he and Tina talked about what had happened, the MySpace account, and made dinner.
Twenty minutes later, Tina suddenly froze in mid-sentence.
"I had this God-awful feeling and I ran up into her room and she had hung herself in the closet."
Megan Taylor Meier died the next day, three weeks before her 14th birthday.
Later that day, Ron opened his daughter's MySpace account and viewed what he believes to be the final message Megan saw - one the FBI would be unable to retrieve from the hard drive.
It was from Josh and, according to Ron's best recollection, it said, "Everybody in O'Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you."
BEYOND GRIEF INTO FURY
Tina and Ron saw a grief counselor. Tina went to a couple of Parents After Loss of Suicide meetings, as well.
They tried to message Josh Evans, to let him know the deadly power of mean words. But his MySpace account had been deleted.
The day after Megan's death, they went down the street to comfort the family of the girl who had once been Megan's friend. They let the girl and her family know that although she and Megan had their ups and down, Megan valued her friendship.
They also attended the girl's birthday party, although Ron had to leave when it came time to sing "Happy Birthday." The Meiers went to the father's 50th birthday celebration. In addition, the Meiers stored a foosball table, a Christmas gift, for that family.
Six weeks after Megan died, on a Saturday morning, a neighbor down the street, a different neighbor, one they didn't know well, called and insisted that they meet that morning at a counselor's office in northern O'Fallon.
The woman would not provide details. Ron and Tina went. Their grief counselor was there. As well as a counselor from Fort Zumwalt West Middle School.
The neighbor from down the street, a single mom with a daughter the same age as Megan, informed the Meiers that Josh Evans never existed.
She told the Meiers that Josh Evans was created by adults, a family on their block. These adults, she told the Meiers, were the parents of Megan's former girlfriend, the one with whom she had a falling out. These were the people who'd asked the Meiers to store their foosball table.
The single mother, for this story, requested that her name not be used. She said her daughter, who had carpooled with the family that was involved in creating the phony MySpace account, had the password to the Josh Evans account and had sent one message - the one Megan received (and later retrieved off the hard drive) the night before she took her life.
"She had been encouraged to join in the joke," the single mother said.
The single mother said her daughter feels the guilt of not saying something sooner and for writing that message. Her daughter didn't speak out sooner because she'd known the other family for years and thought that what they were doing must be OK because, after all, they were trusted adults.
On the night the ambulance came for Megan, the single mother said, before it left the Meiers' house her daughter received a call. It was the woman behind the creation of the Josh Evans account. She had called to tell the girl that something had happened to Megan and advised the girl not to mention the MySpace account.
AX AND SLEDGEHAMMER
The Meiers went home and tore into the foosball table.
Tina used an ax and Ron a sledgehammer. They put the pieces in Ron's pickup and dumped them in their neighbor's driveway. Tina spray painted "Merry Christmas" on the box.
According to Tina, Megan had gone on vacations with this family. They knew how she struggled with depression, that she took medication.
"I know that they did not physically come up to our house and tie a belt around her neck," Tina says. "But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old - with or without mental problems - it is absolutely vile.
"She wanted to get Megan to feel like she was liked by a boy and let everyone know this was a false MySpace and have everyone laugh at her.
"I don't feel their intentions were for her to kill herself. But that's how it ended."
'GAINING MEGAN'S CONFIDENCE'
That same day, the family down the street tried to talk to the Meiers. Ron asked friends to convince them to leave before he physically harmed them.
In a letter dated Nov. 30, 2006, the family tells Ron and Tina, "We are sorry for the extreme pain you are going through and can only imagine how difficult it must be. We have every compassion for you and your family."
The Suburban Journals have decided not to name the family out of consideration for their teenage daughter.
The mother declined comment.
"I have been advised not to give out any information and I apologize for that," she says. "I would love to sit here and talk to you about it but I can't."
She was informed that without her direct comment the newspaper would rely heavily on the police report she filed with the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department regarding the destroyed foosball table.
"I will tell you that the police report is totally wrong," the mother said. "We have worked on getting that changed. I would just be very careful about what you write."
Lt. Craig McGuire, spokesman for the sheriff's department, said he is unaware of anyone contacting the department to alter the report.
"We stand behind the report as written," McGuire says. "There was no supplement to it. What is in the report is what we believe she told us."
The police report - without using the mother's name - states:
"(She) stated in the months leading up Meier's daughter's suicide, she instigated and monitored a 'my space' account which was created for the sole purpose of communicating with Meier's daughter.
"(She) said she, with the help of temporary employee named ------ constructed a profile of 'good looking' male on 'my space' in order to 'find out what Megan (Meier's daughter) was saying on-line' about her daughter. (She) explained the communication between the fake male profile and Megan was aimed at gaining Megan's confidence and finding out what Megan felt about her daughter and other people.
"(She) stated she, her daughter and (the temporary employee) all typed, read and monitored the communication between the fake male profile and Megan …..
"According to (her) 'somehow' other 'my space' users were able to access the fake male profile and Megan found out she had been duped. (She) stated she knew 'arguments' had broken out between Megan and others on 'my space.' (She) felt this incident contributed to Megan's suicide, but she did not feel 'as guilty' because at the funeral she found out 'Megan had tried to commit suicide before.'"
Tina says her daughter died thinking Josh was real and that she never before attempted suicide.
"She was the happiest she had ever been in her life," Ron says.
After years of wearing braces, Megan was scheduled to have them removed the day she died. And she was looking forward to her birthday party.
"She and her mom went shopping and bought a new dress," Ron says. "She wanted to make this grand entrance with me carrying her down the stairs. I never got to see her in that dress until the funeral."
NO CRIMINAL CHARGES
It does not appear that there will be criminal charges filed in connection with Megan's death.
"We did not have a charge to fit it," McGuire says. "I don't know that anybody can sit down and say, 'This is why this young girl took her life.'"
The Meiers say the matter also was investigated by the FBI, which analyzed the family computer and conducted interviews. Ron said a stumbling block is that the FBI was unable to retrieve the electronic messages from Megan's final day, including that final message that only Ron saw.
The Meiers do not plan to file a civil lawsuit. Here's what they want: They want the law changed, state or federal, so that what happened to Megan - at the hands of an adult - is a crime.
THE AFTERMATH IS PAIN
The Meiers are divorcing. Ron says Tina was as vigilant as a parent could be in monitoring Megan on MySpace. Yet she blames herself.
"I have this awful, horrible guilt and this I can never change," she said. "Ever."
Ron struggles daily with the loss of a daughter who, no matter how low she felt, tried to make others laugh and feel a little bit better.
He has difficulty maintaining focus and has kept his job as a tool and die maker through the grace and understanding of his employer, he says. His emotions remain jagged, on edge.
Christine Buckles lives in the same Waterford Crossing subdivision. In her view, everyone in the subdivision knows of Megan's death, but few know of the other family's involvement.
Tina says she and Ron have dissuaded angry friends and family members from vandalizing the other home for one, and only one, reason.
"The police will think we did it," Tina says.
Ron faces a misdemeanor charge of property damage. He is accused of driving his truck across the lawn of the family down the street, doing $1,000 in damage, in March. A security camera the neighbors installed on their home allegedly caught him.
It was Tina, a real estate agent, who helped the other family purchase their home on the same block 2½ years ago.
"I just wish they would go away, move," Ron says.
Vicki Dunn, Tina's aunt, last month placed signs in and near the neighborhood on the anniversary of Megan's death.
They read: "Justice for Megan Meier," "Call the St. Charles County Prosecuting Attorney," and "MySpace Impersonator in Your Neighborhood."
On the window outside Megan's room is an ornamental angel that Ron turns on almost every night. Inside are pictures of boys, posters of Usher, Beyonce and on the dresser a tube of instant bronzer.
"She was all about getting a tan," Ron says.
He has placed the doors back on the closet. Megan had them off.
If only she had waited, talked to someone, or just made it to dinner, then through the evening, and then on to the beginning of a new day in what could have been a remarkable life.
If she had, he says, there is no doubt she would have chosen to live. Instead, there is so much pain.
"She never would have wanted to see her parents divorce," Ron says.
Ultimately, it was Megan's choice to do what she did, he says. "But it was like someone handed her a loaded gun."
Story found at http://stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2007/11/10/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Happy Deepavali
Pronounced (Thee-Wallie)
A colorful festival that is celebrated by all Hindus worldwide is Deepavali, which is also known as the festival of lights. This festival usually falls around late October and November. One important practice that the Hindus follow during the festival is to light oil lamps in their homes on Deepavali morning. By lighting the oil lamps, the Hindus are thanking the gods for the happiness, knowledge, peace and wealth that they have received. The Hindus consider Deepavali as one of the most important festivals to celebrate.
The Legend -
There is even an interesting legend behind this festival. The story goes that Narakasura, a demon, ruled the kingdom of Pradyoshapuram. Under his rule, the villagers suffered a lot of hardship as the demon tortured the people and kidnapped the women to be imprisoned in his palace. Seeing his wickedness, Lord Khrishna set out to destroy the demon and the day Narakasura died was celebrated as Deepavali, the triumph of good over evil!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Alchohol.....
Dear Alcohol,
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is
completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.
In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is
completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.
In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P. Niss:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P. Niss:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Justification for never running again
I found this article at: http://www.t-nation.com/readArticle.do;jsessionid=52581B1402D69C3F61DE3B7433E87952.hydra?id=1785278
Running To Get Fit
by Tony Gentilcore
Mike Boyle has often been quoted as saying, "You can't run to get fit, you need to get fit to run." I couldn't agree more with this statement. Most (read: not all) people shouldn't be running in the first place. This is especially true for women.
What's the first thing that women do to get into shape? They hightail it to the local store and buy a new pair of pearly white running shoes and go for a jog outside. Conversely, what's the first piece of equipment that women will gravitate towards if they've never set foot in a gym before? The treadmill. And more often than not both scenarios do notlook pretty.
I watch some of these women running (you men too--you're not off the hook) and it just looks painful. How can they possibly think this is good for them? I can walk on a floor of broken glass barefoot or listen to Paris Hilton speak and both would be less painful than watching some of these women run.
I'll admit, the girls on the left are rockin the headband.
Why is running not so great for the majority of women? There are a few reasons, but the main one boils down to basic biomechanics and the Q-angle. Women by nature have a greater Q-angle compared to men (wide hips, narrow knees), which predisposes them to a number of problems that aren't normally an issue for men. Research has shown that women are six times more likely to tear their ACL compared to men.
Add that to the fact that many women tend to be very quad dominant and are weaker than a baby's fart (i.e. they don't lift appreciable weights; sorry, pink dumbbells for 20 reps don't count) and you have a recipe for disaster.
Women aside, running is a fairly advanced form of exercise. Within any given mile there are roughly 1500 foot strikes. Ask any strength coach or decent personal trainer (yes they do exist) if they'd ever allow an elite athlete (let alone your average weekend warrior) to perform a plyometric protocol which calls for 1500 foot strikes on a daily basis, and I'm willing to bet you'll get some perplexed looks.
Yet day in and day out I see men and women who are 20-50 lbs overweight trudging over to the treadmill to get their three miles in because this is what they feel will get them fit. Even worse, I'll often hear trainers or internet gurus on various forums tell these same people that they should be doing sprints to get lean. [Picture me here banging my head against a brick wall.]
Bang away
Before you send the hate mail, please understand that I'm not saying that running is "bad" for everyone, nor am I saying that it's "bad" in general. There are a plethora of health benefits to be had by including aerobic training such as running/jogging into your repertoire.
However, I feel there are better options for those people who are overweight and relatively new to training looking to get into shape. And that's the point... you need to be fit to run and not vice versa.
Side Note: Eric Cressey wrote a fantastic newsletter a few weeks ago detailing how a novice runner's stride (heel strike) is different from the advanced runner's stride (balls of feet). Long story short, "we" need to teach people how to run.
Running To Get Fit
by Tony Gentilcore
Mike Boyle has often been quoted as saying, "You can't run to get fit, you need to get fit to run." I couldn't agree more with this statement. Most (read: not all) people shouldn't be running in the first place. This is especially true for women.
What's the first thing that women do to get into shape? They hightail it to the local store and buy a new pair of pearly white running shoes and go for a jog outside. Conversely, what's the first piece of equipment that women will gravitate towards if they've never set foot in a gym before? The treadmill. And more often than not both scenarios do notlook pretty.
I watch some of these women running (you men too--you're not off the hook) and it just looks painful. How can they possibly think this is good for them? I can walk on a floor of broken glass barefoot or listen to Paris Hilton speak and both would be less painful than watching some of these women run.
I'll admit, the girls on the left are rockin the headband.
Why is running not so great for the majority of women? There are a few reasons, but the main one boils down to basic biomechanics and the Q-angle. Women by nature have a greater Q-angle compared to men (wide hips, narrow knees), which predisposes them to a number of problems that aren't normally an issue for men. Research has shown that women are six times more likely to tear their ACL compared to men.
Add that to the fact that many women tend to be very quad dominant and are weaker than a baby's fart (i.e. they don't lift appreciable weights; sorry, pink dumbbells for 20 reps don't count) and you have a recipe for disaster.
Women aside, running is a fairly advanced form of exercise. Within any given mile there are roughly 1500 foot strikes. Ask any strength coach or decent personal trainer (yes they do exist) if they'd ever allow an elite athlete (let alone your average weekend warrior) to perform a plyometric protocol which calls for 1500 foot strikes on a daily basis, and I'm willing to bet you'll get some perplexed looks.
Yet day in and day out I see men and women who are 20-50 lbs overweight trudging over to the treadmill to get their three miles in because this is what they feel will get them fit. Even worse, I'll often hear trainers or internet gurus on various forums tell these same people that they should be doing sprints to get lean. [Picture me here banging my head against a brick wall.]
Bang away
Before you send the hate mail, please understand that I'm not saying that running is "bad" for everyone, nor am I saying that it's "bad" in general. There are a plethora of health benefits to be had by including aerobic training such as running/jogging into your repertoire.
However, I feel there are better options for those people who are overweight and relatively new to training looking to get into shape. And that's the point... you need to be fit to run and not vice versa.
Side Note: Eric Cressey wrote a fantastic newsletter a few weeks ago detailing how a novice runner's stride (heel strike) is different from the advanced runner's stride (balls of feet). Long story short, "we" need to teach people how to run.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Hair
pic #1 
pic #2
pic #3
pic #4
pic #5
pic #6
pic #7
Now ignore my pussy, breasts, ass, and make-up for a minute please and focus on just my hair. Which do you like the best? What is your favorite color, style, length? Why?
pic #2
pic #3
pic #4
pic #5
pic #6
pic #7
Now ignore my pussy, breasts, ass, and make-up for a minute please and focus on just my hair. Which do you like the best? What is your favorite color, style, length? Why?
Friday, October 26, 2007
There are people who can walk away from you
LISTEN!!.. When people can walk away from you: LET THEM WALK!!
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
I'm not religious but even the bible said that, "they went away from us so that it might be made known that they were not FOR US. For had they been WITH us, no doubt they would have CONTINUED with us."
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is OVER. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. I've got the gift of good-bye. It is a GIFT, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever the universe means for me to have it will GIVE it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
And HOW do you do that...???
let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to……
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ……
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…..
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ……..
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction……
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you! u have a bad attitude…….
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……
LET IT GO!!!
If you're holding onto the past and the uiniverse is trying to take you to a new level…
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…….
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves……
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ………
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and the universe is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to……
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. Start doing a NEW THING for this coming year!!!
LET IT GO!!
You either Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then…
LET IT GO!!!
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
I'm not religious but even the bible said that, "they went away from us so that it might be made known that they were not FOR US. For had they been WITH us, no doubt they would have CONTINUED with us."
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is OVER. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. I've got the gift of good-bye. It is a GIFT, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever the universe means for me to have it will GIVE it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
And HOW do you do that...???
let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to……
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ……
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…..
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ……..
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction……
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you! u have a bad attitude…….
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……
LET IT GO!!!
If you're holding onto the past and the uiniverse is trying to take you to a new level…
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…….
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves……
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ………
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and the universe is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to……
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. Start doing a NEW THING for this coming year!!!
LET IT GO!!
You either Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then…
LET IT GO!!!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Changing
It's been a long few years with a couple close deaths.. I won't "get over" these losses but I am finally in recovery.
My physical health is improving. Several months ago I realized I had a problem with ephedrine. (This is not an anti-ephedrine post.) Ephedrine is a great drug. Unfortunately it got to the point where I was taking far too much and needed it to get by. At the time I thought it was helping me. Now I see I had become addicted and it was tearing me apart. When Nevada made ephedrine illegal in June, I quit cold turkey. Personally I feel it should be legal. However, I would probably still be taking it...
At the beginning of August I ran out of anxiety medication. I've been off since. Taking responsibility for my own emotions now.. Learning stress management. These past few months have been trying: I got robbed and foreclosed on a house. Luckily, I've learned good coping techniques. :-)
My body is tired of yo-yoing. Instead of living within a 20 pound range, I have adapted a new lifestyle. No more junk food. This has been the most amazing step. By eating properly my mind is clear and my body is in it's best shape ever!
Enthusiasm is creeping back onto my face.. I see opportunity in every new day, in every lesson life presents.. My youth is returning.
Watch out, world, Trixie is here to stay!
My physical health is improving. Several months ago I realized I had a problem with ephedrine. (This is not an anti-ephedrine post.) Ephedrine is a great drug. Unfortunately it got to the point where I was taking far too much and needed it to get by. At the time I thought it was helping me. Now I see I had become addicted and it was tearing me apart. When Nevada made ephedrine illegal in June, I quit cold turkey. Personally I feel it should be legal. However, I would probably still be taking it...
At the beginning of August I ran out of anxiety medication. I've been off since. Taking responsibility for my own emotions now.. Learning stress management. These past few months have been trying: I got robbed and foreclosed on a house. Luckily, I've learned good coping techniques. :-)
My body is tired of yo-yoing. Instead of living within a 20 pound range, I have adapted a new lifestyle. No more junk food. This has been the most amazing step. By eating properly my mind is clear and my body is in it's best shape ever!
Enthusiasm is creeping back onto my face.. I see opportunity in every new day, in every lesson life presents.. My youth is returning.
Watch out, world, Trixie is here to stay!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Core Values
Core Values:
-What are the core values I want to honor, regardless of what the work is?
-What are the benefits or assumptions that are attached to those values?
-What do I value most about myself? What is the very core of my life that I want nurtured and supported?
-What would my relationships look like if they were aligned with that core?
-How would I structure my life to reflect those values and beliefs?
-What are the core values I want to honor, regardless of what the work is?
-What are the benefits or assumptions that are attached to those values?
-What do I value most about myself? What is the very core of my life that I want nurtured and supported?
-What would my relationships look like if they were aligned with that core?
-How would I structure my life to reflect those values and beliefs?
Monday, October 22, 2007
Infectious Smiles Around the World
Smiling is contagious
You can catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today
I started smiling too.
I pasted around the corner
And someone saw my grin
And when he smiled I realised
That I'd passed it on to him
I thought about that smile
Then I realised it's worth
A single smile just like mine
It could travel round the earth
So if you feel a smile begin
Don't leave it undetected
Lets start an epidemic QUICK
And get the world infected.
Infectious Smiles Around the World -- Anonymous
You can catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today
I started smiling too.
I pasted around the corner
And someone saw my grin
And when he smiled I realised
That I'd passed it on to him
I thought about that smile
Then I realised it's worth
A single smile just like mine
It could travel round the earth
So if you feel a smile begin
Don't leave it undetected
Lets start an epidemic QUICK
And get the world infected.
Infectious Smiles Around the World -- Anonymous
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
quotes
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein
"If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."
-- Abraham Maslow
-- Albert Einstein
"If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."
-- Abraham Maslow
My Hand Analysis
The vertical line in your palm that runs toward your middle finger, the Saturn Finger, is called the Fate Line or Saturn Line. Look at you hand and see if you have a Fate Line. Many people have this line and some do not.
The heart line starts at the base of the pinky finger, and goes across your hand. For some people, it is quite long, for others, it is shorter. It can curve up or down or even be straight. All of these details reveal a lot about how you function in relationship. A general rule is that the curvier your heart line tends to be, the more emotional and expressive you are. This is why a lot of men have fairly straight heart lines, and women's are usually curvy. People with curvy heart lines show emotions much easier than people with straight heart lines who keep emotions much more hidden. Your heart line can reveal to you the personality of your basic emotional style
If your heart line is curved upward toward your index finger, you are a SPONTANEOUS and emotionally authentic person. You can be a little overbearing at times, because you feel powerfully about getting what you want NOW! Perhaps you have learned to keep your needs inside and this can lead to resentment and subtle and not so subtle manipulation. Keeping your emotions expressed “honestly”, “openly” and “appropriately” and being “happily spontaneous” are your challenges.
Your headline is located underneath your heart line unless you have both your head line and heart line connected as one, this merging of heart and headline is a topic unto itself.
A curved headline shows your thinking is more non-conventional with a strong desire to understand the deeper meaning of what is presented to you.
When your head line is separate from your life line separate then you may notice how differently you view many important matters in life from the way your family does and prefer to act on your own.
The further the line travels across your palm, the longer you keep things rolling around in your head. Uber-long lines extending all the way across indicate you think about everything waaaaaay too long.
(from http://kiannasmith.com)
The heart line starts at the base of the pinky finger, and goes across your hand. For some people, it is quite long, for others, it is shorter. It can curve up or down or even be straight. All of these details reveal a lot about how you function in relationship. A general rule is that the curvier your heart line tends to be, the more emotional and expressive you are. This is why a lot of men have fairly straight heart lines, and women's are usually curvy. People with curvy heart lines show emotions much easier than people with straight heart lines who keep emotions much more hidden. Your heart line can reveal to you the personality of your basic emotional style
If your heart line is curved upward toward your index finger, you are a SPONTANEOUS and emotionally authentic person. You can be a little overbearing at times, because you feel powerfully about getting what you want NOW! Perhaps you have learned to keep your needs inside and this can lead to resentment and subtle and not so subtle manipulation. Keeping your emotions expressed “honestly”, “openly” and “appropriately” and being “happily spontaneous” are your challenges.
Your headline is located underneath your heart line unless you have both your head line and heart line connected as one, this merging of heart and headline is a topic unto itself.
A curved headline shows your thinking is more non-conventional with a strong desire to understand the deeper meaning of what is presented to you.
When your head line is separate from your life line separate then you may notice how differently you view many important matters in life from the way your family does and prefer to act on your own.
The further the line travels across your palm, the longer you keep things rolling around in your head. Uber-long lines extending all the way across indicate you think about everything waaaaaay too long.
(from http://kiannasmith.com)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Activating Your Success Mechanism
This article was written by Brian Tracy
One point that all motivational teachers agree upon is that every peak-performing man or woman is an obsessive goal setter. They are motivated by compelling, burning, internal goals. Our subconscious mind goes to work immediately on goals we write out and think about continuously to make them a reality. Why then do so few people have goals? Studies indicate that only about 1 percent of the total population has written goals. (Unless a goal has been written out, it is merely just a wish.)
A study at Yale University in 1953 asked this question: "Do you have clear goals? Have you written them down and laid out some method of achieving them?" Only 3 percent of the graduating class had specific written goals! In 1973, 20 years later, those members of the 1953 class were surveyed to follow up on their past performance. It was found that the 3 percent who had written goals were worth more, in financial terms, than the remaining 97 percent!
No other quality, such as environment, appearance, grade level or family background, is nearly as important to personal success as the habit of personal goal-setting. It is intense goal-orientation that marks the winners in every single area. Unless we have goals, we simply go around in circles in our lives. We go nowhere. When we set goals, we go straight and true. We develop purpose, we develop direction, we develop focused and channeled energy. We develop more in a short time with goals that we could accomplish in years without them. Every human being has a failure mechanism and a success mechanism. The failure mechanism is on automatically. When we set a goal, we push the success mechanism. When we are preoccupied by a burning desire to accomplish our goal, we are moving toward success. Most people are not aware of this. And even those who are, often lack the self discipline, the will, self confidence to set goals and stick with them until they accomplish them.
The characteristic that sets high achievers apart from the average person is "intensity of purpose." Bunker Hunt, who was bankrupt at age 32 and worth approximately $5 billion when he died in the late 70's said, "to be successful you must first decide what you want in life. Next you must determine how much you are willing to pay to achieve it. You must resolve to pay that price and to make the sacrifices required to reach your goals. That's all that is necessary."
Why is it that so few people set goals? First, not many people understand how important it is. Those who come from families who set goals usually pick up the habit of setting goals themselves. Second, they often don't know how. It is sad but true that we can receive 12 to 18 years of education through our schools but not receive one hour of time dedicated to teach us how to set goals. Most school teachers are not goal setters themselves. Elementary school students who have been exposed to goal-setting techniques enjoy school more, score consistently higher than their counterparts and have a better attitude toward parents, teachers and life in general than those who do not receive instruction in goal setting.
Third, they have a fear of rejection brought on by destructive criticism. Due to human nature, friends and relatives tend to discourage us when we tell them about our goals. For this reason, keep your goals confidential. Share them only with others whom you respect and who are also in the habit of setting goals. They will be encouraging. Other than that one exception, don't tell anyone so you do not put yourself in a position to be criticized or discouraged from your goals.
Fourth, they have a fear of failure. This is the greatest block to success in adult life. People do not realize the importance of failure in achievement. It is impossible to achieve without failure! We can never reach our true potential without experiencing numerous failures in our lives. Thomas Edison found 10,000 ways that a light bulb would not work before he hit on the right combination. The natural tendency is to stay in our comfort zones. The nature of human beings is to become satisfied and complacent with their surroundings and to try nothing more. Every single peak-performing man or woman has thrown off the natural tendency to play it safe and stay within the comfort zone and has tried to exceed past performance They have gone into the risk zone to try something bigger, better and more important. Every important achievement ever made has been accomplished by men and women who have had the courage to take the risk, to step out even though they had no guarantee they would succeed. Life is somewhat like a baseball game--three strikes and your out. But in life you are not only the batter you are also the umpire. If you stand at the plate long enough you will hit a home run. No one can call you out but yourself.
With regards to goal-setting, almost everyone is afraid of change. This is because we are afraid that change will make us worse off than before. The reason we set goals is to enable us to control change in our lives, we can see to it that the change will be an improvement rather than causing us to be worse off than we were before. We must set goals in order to be in control of our lives, and we must be in control of our lives before we can feel good about ourselves.
With regard to goal-setting, there are two to three general concepts. One of these is the "area of excellence." This merely means that we are all usually average in most areas of our lives, but we all have the ability to be outstanding in at least one area. Every single person is put on this earth for a unique purpose. Nobody is put here at random. We all have something special and valuable to contribute to the human race. One of our major responsibilities as human beings is to find our area of excellence and to become as good as we possibly can be at developing our area of excellence. As we must make a living for the rest of our lives, we have an obligation to develop to the best of our ability at least one marketable skill.
It is amazing to find that most people work 20 to 30 years at a job without realizing that they should become experts at what they do if they do if they wish to receive the awards life has to offer. Instead, many go through their entire careers frustrated and complaining, expecting government or their employers to provide them with the material things they were unable to earn for themselves. They were paid lower wages because they did not develop their skills to the degree that they deserved more.
Most people do what they do in a mediocre fashion, never realizing how important it is that they become outstanding at something. One reason this is so important is job security. The top 20 percent in any field are always guaranteed a job. More important is the fact that how we feel about ourselves determines how well we do everything in life. It determines our level of health, our personal relationships, our creativity, our peace of mind. If a person does not develop excellence at something, then that person gets up every morning and sees someone who is mediocre at everything. It is impossible to like ourselves when we realize we are not trying to excel in some area of our lives. In establishing our goals, one goal must be to find one area of excellence and become the best we can be in that endeavor.
"You can only become excellent doing what you love to do." One of our prime responsibilities as adults is to find what we like to do and spend the time and effort to do it very well. You can tell what you like to do by looking at what interests you, what attracts your attention. Look at the kind of things you would do if you were not getting paid to do them, the sort of things you would do if you had no limitations on your abilities.
The second concept is called the "acres of diamonds" concept. This is based on a story about a farmer who sold his farm to go in search of diamonds. After many years of futile searching, he died broken and unhappy. Meanwhile, the person who brought his farm found some rough, mud-caked rocks that glittered when they were chipped. It turned out the entire farm was covered with a fortune of rough diamonds. The moral of the story is that the farmer who sold his farm never realized that diamonds don't look like diamonds until they are cut polished and set. We must realize that our major opportunities come to us disguised as rough diamonds. We must see them for what they are. It is through our efforts, dedication and ambition that we develop beautiful diamonds from the rough rocks others ignore.
When you set goals, don't think you must move or go back to school for 5 years to get a degree. Opportunities, like the diamonds, are close at hand. You need only to recognize them.
We must have a balance of goals to have a balanced life. The major categories of goals include: Family and personal goals--these are the reasons we set goals; business and career goals; self improvement goals. Successful people are always working on themselves to become better people. Goals must be in harmony with each other. We cannot want to spend half our time on the beach and still wish to become wealthy and successful in business. We must also set goals which are congruent with our fundamental values.
Ask yourself the following questions. The answers may give you acute insight into what your major goals should be.
1. What are the five things you value most in life?
2. In 30 seconds or less, write down the three most important goals in your life right now.
3. What would you do if you won $1 million in the lottery tomorrow? What changes would you make in your life?
4. What would you do if you had no physical or mental limitations. What would be your ambition, your dream?
5. How would you spend your time if you knew you had only six months to live? What would you do with your life? What changes would you make? The answer to this question will tell you what your values are.
6. What have you always wanted to do but have been afraid to try? Remember, it is the fear of failure that is preventing you from doing what you have always wanted to do.
7. In looking back over all the things you have done in your life, what things have given you the greatest feelings of importance and mental well-being? What has added to your highest self esteem? The answers to this question will give you the answer to where your field of excellence lies.
8. If you had a magic bottle with a genie in it who would grant you one wish, what one great thing would you desire? If you could accomplish any one great goal, what would it be? What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt you absolutely could not fail?
This is one of the most important question because if you can write it down on paper, you are capable of attaining it. Nature is not capricious. It does not give us the ability to clearly visualize and write down a goal without also giving us the ability to realize it. The only questions are: How badly do you want it? And, are you willing to pay the price to get it? The only limitation is in your own mind. It is not contained in physical reality.
After answering these questions, it is essential that you pick one major purpose in life. We know that all great success starts with one great, major purpose. If we choose to work on too many goals simultaneously, we diffuse our efforts and end up accomplishing almost nothing. Every great life only becomes great when the individual picks only one thing as the major goal and devotes all of his or her energy to making that goal a reality. Usually all of the minor goals are also accomplished. If you have not set and achieved goals before, it is important to understand that each time you achieve a predetermined goal, it is easier to accomplish the next goal. This is because you gain confidence in your own abilities with each victory. The stronger you believe, the more likely you are to succeed.
The first step in any goal setting is desire. Desire is always personal. You can never successfully desire something for someone else. Your goal must be purely personal and selfish, something you want very much.
Second is belief. Your goals must be believable so that you must strongly believe they are attainable before they will become reality. They must be realistic. If your conscious mind will not accept the goal, there is no way your subconscious will believe it and go to work on it.
For example, if you are earning $20,000 a year today, raise your sights in 50 percent increments. That is, say I make $30,000 a year. Then visualize, believe and use self-affirmation to reach your goal. This will improve your performance, your communication skills and open up your mind so you will do your job better or see new opportunities that are open to you. Your goals should have about a 50-50 chance of achievement. This means they are believable and the subconscious mind can go to work on them. Once you have reached a point of success, you can reaffirm and work on the remaining portion of the achievement of the goal. For instance, say you would like to lose 40 pounds. Instead of setting 40 pounds as your goal, visualize yourself five or ten pounds lighter. Goals are reached one step at a time. When you have lost 10 pounds, set your goal to lose another 10 pounds.
Make your goals challenging and let them make you stretch. Each of your goals should be for the next level of attainment. Striving for our goals takes us out of our comfort zone and causes us to grow with each accomplishment. Make them difficult enough to be challenging but believable enough to be attainable.
Write down your goals. This is the way you program your goal into the subconscious It is very important to accomplishing goals. The more detailed and precise you write it down the better. Write exactly how you would like it to happen.
For example, if you want a new house, you would not merely say, "I want a 3,000 square foot house." You would instead describe the house as you want it to be, as you picture it. "I want a three bedroom, split-level house with...etc." Until a goal is written down on paper, it is not a goal, it is a wish.
Determine how you will benefit by achieving your goal. Write out all the benefits and advantages you will receive upon achieving your goal. If your goal is financial, then write out all the differences it will make in your life when you attain your goal. The more reasons you can have for reaching the goal, the more irresistible the goal will become for you. You will develop a force, a power and a conviction that makes you virtually unstoppable in reaching your goal.
Analyze your position. Where are you right now in regard to your goal? If your goal is financial, how much more money will you need to reach your goal? Do an exact financial analysis of how much you are worth today.
Set a deadline. Set a time when you expect to reach your goal. Your major purpose in life should always be measurable specific and quantifiable. You should be able to count it and measure it so you always know how close you are to accomplishing it. The feeling of being a winner is an important part of being a winner. We can only feel like a winner when we are working towards an important goal. "Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or idea." Unless we can measure the beginning, the end, and the steps in between, we will lose the motivational power that lies in a major definite purpose.
Identify the obstacles you will have to overcome to reach your goal. If there are no obstacles, it is no goal; it is merely an activity. Once you have written the obstacles down on paper, you will find they do not seem as large as they did. There is usually only one or two things that will take much of your attention. The rest will seem insignificant.
Clearly identify the groups, people and organizations whose assistance you will need in order to reach your goal. This introduces three laws. The first law is the law of sowing and reaping, or the law of return. You only reap from having sown in previous periods. What you are reaping today is a result of what you have sown in the past. The law of return says the more you put in, the more you will get out, and you need to put in to get anything out. Second is the law of compensation. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Realizing this, in regards to the people whose assistance you need to succeed, we ask ourselves, "what can we do for them in order to get the assistance we need?" Third is the law of service. We can only succeed by serving our fellowman by providing goods and services that are of value to them. All successful men and women have begun by finding ways they can serve others. They have determined to go the extra mile and always do more than they are paid for. The starting point of all riches is to find out how you can give, how you can serve others to get in return what you want. Successful companies have an obsession with customer service.
Make a plan. Take all the details you have identified in the last three steps. Make it complete in every detail. Write out all the activities you will have to engage in to reach your goal. Once you have identified your activities, prioritize them in order of importance. All plans are merely activities laid out in terms of time and priorities.
Once you have committed your plan to paper, continually go back to it and rewrite it until it is the perfect plan. As you acquire new information, have new experiences, receive feedback and begin to move forward and have setbacks and disappointments and make mistakes, look at the plan and see where it has to be revised. All high-achievers think and write on paper. They do it over and over again. They plan their days, they plan their weeks and they plan their months. That is why they move ahead so rapidly.
Get a clear mental image of your goal as though it was already in existence right now. Every time you get a chance, play that picture of your goal on the screen of your mind.
Back your plan with determination and resolve to never, never give up. The best plan on earth will not work unless you do. Many people do all of the steps properly until they reach step 12. At the first sign of a problem, they give up. Persistence is very important to success. No matter how perfect your plan or how pure your heart, every person who has set out to do something out of the ordinary has suffered setback after setback before they found success. They have faced adversity and disappointment. The difference between the winners and the losers is that the winners pick themselves up and keep on trying while the losers whine "why me?" Remember this: "Self discipline is persistence in action." You can see how much self-discipline you have by how much persistence you have at working toward your goal. "Your persistence is your measure of faith in yourself."
You can tell how much faith you have in yourself by how willing you are to pick yourself up after a bitter disappointment. If you are willing to pick yourself up, there is literally nothing that can stop you!
Practice effective time management. All high-achievers use their time well. Every minute, hour or day that comes and goes is lost to us forever. If we do not use it well, we have lost an opportunity to move closer to our goal. There are six key points toward effective time management. First, have clearly defined goals. We waste allot of time when we only have vague, or worse yet, no idea of what we wish to accomplish. Second, have clear, detailed plans. We would never buy a list of materials and give it to a contractor and say "build me a house." He would ask, "where are the plans?" It is just as foolish to try to build a successful life without laying out a plan of what we wish to accomplish and what it will look like once we have reached our goals.
Make a list for each day. Lay out your list on Saturday for the upcoming week. Then make a list at the end of each day so your subconscious can work on it overnight. When you start off your day, refuse to do anything not on the list. Discipline yourself to write every new assignment down on the list. You will find that once you write it down, it does not seem as important as your first thought. If you do not use a list, you will find yourself responding to the urgent, rather than doing the important. You become preoccupied with trivia.
Two important things happen when you use a list. First, you will become organized and achieve more each day. Second, you will get a feeling of accomplishment as you check off each activity you have completed. You will feel you are on top of your life and in control. Without a list, at the end of the day, you will feel like you have been spinning your wheels and have accomplished very little. You will feel stressed out because you will feel you have made no real gains toward your goal. At the end of the day, transfer the things that you didn't get to that day to your list for the next day. You will find that by using a list you will sleep better at night because you know that your work is under control and down on paper. You will not have to worry about forgetting something important.
Set priorities on your list. The 80-20 rule says "80% of the value of any list is contained in 20% of activities." For example, if you have 10 items on your list, 80% of the value of what you wish to achieve today will be in about two of the ten items. Concentrate on those items first. This is the most efficient use of your time. Ask yourself regularly, "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?" You always must make a choice between one activity or another. Before you choose, ask yourself the question. All high-achievers know, "there is never enough time to do everything, but there is always time to do the most important things." Ask yourself, "if I had to go out of town tomorrow and only had time to do one thing, What one thing would I do?" Put a circle around that--that will set your priority.
Use concentration and single handling. Successful people do first things first, and they stay with them until they are complete. It is important to find blocks of time that are devoted to handling your top priority without interruption. Otherwise you will pick up and set down a project four or five times, thereby taking too much time to accomplish it.
Develop a sense of urgency. Do it now! Don't procrastinate! Less than 2 percent of the people in our society have a sense of urgency. Less than 2 percent of the people will do a thing the first time it comes up--98 percent of the people put off even minor tasks for another time. The best way to stand out from your peers and make your superiors stand up and take notice is to do a task as soon as possible. Bosses always go to the person who gets it done now. They pay them more, and they respect those employees more than those who put it off until next week.
Remember, "Obstacles are what you see when you take your mind off your goal." Your mind can only hold one thought at a time--positive or negative--and your goal is a positive thought. Always think about your goal. It is impossible to be troubled by petty little problems when you are concentrating on your goal. You will feel alive and full of energy when you keep your goal in mind. When others tell you about their goals, encourage them to "go for it." Everyone should have goals in order to be happy. As you accomplish your goal, set new goals. Goals are what make life worth living.
One point that all motivational teachers agree upon is that every peak-performing man or woman is an obsessive goal setter. They are motivated by compelling, burning, internal goals. Our subconscious mind goes to work immediately on goals we write out and think about continuously to make them a reality. Why then do so few people have goals? Studies indicate that only about 1 percent of the total population has written goals. (Unless a goal has been written out, it is merely just a wish.)
A study at Yale University in 1953 asked this question: "Do you have clear goals? Have you written them down and laid out some method of achieving them?" Only 3 percent of the graduating class had specific written goals! In 1973, 20 years later, those members of the 1953 class were surveyed to follow up on their past performance. It was found that the 3 percent who had written goals were worth more, in financial terms, than the remaining 97 percent!
No other quality, such as environment, appearance, grade level or family background, is nearly as important to personal success as the habit of personal goal-setting. It is intense goal-orientation that marks the winners in every single area. Unless we have goals, we simply go around in circles in our lives. We go nowhere. When we set goals, we go straight and true. We develop purpose, we develop direction, we develop focused and channeled energy. We develop more in a short time with goals that we could accomplish in years without them. Every human being has a failure mechanism and a success mechanism. The failure mechanism is on automatically. When we set a goal, we push the success mechanism. When we are preoccupied by a burning desire to accomplish our goal, we are moving toward success. Most people are not aware of this. And even those who are, often lack the self discipline, the will, self confidence to set goals and stick with them until they accomplish them.
The characteristic that sets high achievers apart from the average person is "intensity of purpose." Bunker Hunt, who was bankrupt at age 32 and worth approximately $5 billion when he died in the late 70's said, "to be successful you must first decide what you want in life. Next you must determine how much you are willing to pay to achieve it. You must resolve to pay that price and to make the sacrifices required to reach your goals. That's all that is necessary."
Why is it that so few people set goals? First, not many people understand how important it is. Those who come from families who set goals usually pick up the habit of setting goals themselves. Second, they often don't know how. It is sad but true that we can receive 12 to 18 years of education through our schools but not receive one hour of time dedicated to teach us how to set goals. Most school teachers are not goal setters themselves. Elementary school students who have been exposed to goal-setting techniques enjoy school more, score consistently higher than their counterparts and have a better attitude toward parents, teachers and life in general than those who do not receive instruction in goal setting.
Third, they have a fear of rejection brought on by destructive criticism. Due to human nature, friends and relatives tend to discourage us when we tell them about our goals. For this reason, keep your goals confidential. Share them only with others whom you respect and who are also in the habit of setting goals. They will be encouraging. Other than that one exception, don't tell anyone so you do not put yourself in a position to be criticized or discouraged from your goals.
Fourth, they have a fear of failure. This is the greatest block to success in adult life. People do not realize the importance of failure in achievement. It is impossible to achieve without failure! We can never reach our true potential without experiencing numerous failures in our lives. Thomas Edison found 10,000 ways that a light bulb would not work before he hit on the right combination. The natural tendency is to stay in our comfort zones. The nature of human beings is to become satisfied and complacent with their surroundings and to try nothing more. Every single peak-performing man or woman has thrown off the natural tendency to play it safe and stay within the comfort zone and has tried to exceed past performance They have gone into the risk zone to try something bigger, better and more important. Every important achievement ever made has been accomplished by men and women who have had the courage to take the risk, to step out even though they had no guarantee they would succeed. Life is somewhat like a baseball game--three strikes and your out. But in life you are not only the batter you are also the umpire. If you stand at the plate long enough you will hit a home run. No one can call you out but yourself.
With regards to goal-setting, almost everyone is afraid of change. This is because we are afraid that change will make us worse off than before. The reason we set goals is to enable us to control change in our lives, we can see to it that the change will be an improvement rather than causing us to be worse off than we were before. We must set goals in order to be in control of our lives, and we must be in control of our lives before we can feel good about ourselves.
With regard to goal-setting, there are two to three general concepts. One of these is the "area of excellence." This merely means that we are all usually average in most areas of our lives, but we all have the ability to be outstanding in at least one area. Every single person is put on this earth for a unique purpose. Nobody is put here at random. We all have something special and valuable to contribute to the human race. One of our major responsibilities as human beings is to find our area of excellence and to become as good as we possibly can be at developing our area of excellence. As we must make a living for the rest of our lives, we have an obligation to develop to the best of our ability at least one marketable skill.
It is amazing to find that most people work 20 to 30 years at a job without realizing that they should become experts at what they do if they do if they wish to receive the awards life has to offer. Instead, many go through their entire careers frustrated and complaining, expecting government or their employers to provide them with the material things they were unable to earn for themselves. They were paid lower wages because they did not develop their skills to the degree that they deserved more.
Most people do what they do in a mediocre fashion, never realizing how important it is that they become outstanding at something. One reason this is so important is job security. The top 20 percent in any field are always guaranteed a job. More important is the fact that how we feel about ourselves determines how well we do everything in life. It determines our level of health, our personal relationships, our creativity, our peace of mind. If a person does not develop excellence at something, then that person gets up every morning and sees someone who is mediocre at everything. It is impossible to like ourselves when we realize we are not trying to excel in some area of our lives. In establishing our goals, one goal must be to find one area of excellence and become the best we can be in that endeavor.
"You can only become excellent doing what you love to do." One of our prime responsibilities as adults is to find what we like to do and spend the time and effort to do it very well. You can tell what you like to do by looking at what interests you, what attracts your attention. Look at the kind of things you would do if you were not getting paid to do them, the sort of things you would do if you had no limitations on your abilities.
The second concept is called the "acres of diamonds" concept. This is based on a story about a farmer who sold his farm to go in search of diamonds. After many years of futile searching, he died broken and unhappy. Meanwhile, the person who brought his farm found some rough, mud-caked rocks that glittered when they were chipped. It turned out the entire farm was covered with a fortune of rough diamonds. The moral of the story is that the farmer who sold his farm never realized that diamonds don't look like diamonds until they are cut polished and set. We must realize that our major opportunities come to us disguised as rough diamonds. We must see them for what they are. It is through our efforts, dedication and ambition that we develop beautiful diamonds from the rough rocks others ignore.
When you set goals, don't think you must move or go back to school for 5 years to get a degree. Opportunities, like the diamonds, are close at hand. You need only to recognize them.
We must have a balance of goals to have a balanced life. The major categories of goals include: Family and personal goals--these are the reasons we set goals; business and career goals; self improvement goals. Successful people are always working on themselves to become better people. Goals must be in harmony with each other. We cannot want to spend half our time on the beach and still wish to become wealthy and successful in business. We must also set goals which are congruent with our fundamental values.
Ask yourself the following questions. The answers may give you acute insight into what your major goals should be.
1. What are the five things you value most in life?
2. In 30 seconds or less, write down the three most important goals in your life right now.
3. What would you do if you won $1 million in the lottery tomorrow? What changes would you make in your life?
4. What would you do if you had no physical or mental limitations. What would be your ambition, your dream?
5. How would you spend your time if you knew you had only six months to live? What would you do with your life? What changes would you make? The answer to this question will tell you what your values are.
6. What have you always wanted to do but have been afraid to try? Remember, it is the fear of failure that is preventing you from doing what you have always wanted to do.
7. In looking back over all the things you have done in your life, what things have given you the greatest feelings of importance and mental well-being? What has added to your highest self esteem? The answers to this question will give you the answer to where your field of excellence lies.
8. If you had a magic bottle with a genie in it who would grant you one wish, what one great thing would you desire? If you could accomplish any one great goal, what would it be? What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt you absolutely could not fail?
This is one of the most important question because if you can write it down on paper, you are capable of attaining it. Nature is not capricious. It does not give us the ability to clearly visualize and write down a goal without also giving us the ability to realize it. The only questions are: How badly do you want it? And, are you willing to pay the price to get it? The only limitation is in your own mind. It is not contained in physical reality.
After answering these questions, it is essential that you pick one major purpose in life. We know that all great success starts with one great, major purpose. If we choose to work on too many goals simultaneously, we diffuse our efforts and end up accomplishing almost nothing. Every great life only becomes great when the individual picks only one thing as the major goal and devotes all of his or her energy to making that goal a reality. Usually all of the minor goals are also accomplished. If you have not set and achieved goals before, it is important to understand that each time you achieve a predetermined goal, it is easier to accomplish the next goal. This is because you gain confidence in your own abilities with each victory. The stronger you believe, the more likely you are to succeed.
The first step in any goal setting is desire. Desire is always personal. You can never successfully desire something for someone else. Your goal must be purely personal and selfish, something you want very much.
Second is belief. Your goals must be believable so that you must strongly believe they are attainable before they will become reality. They must be realistic. If your conscious mind will not accept the goal, there is no way your subconscious will believe it and go to work on it.
For example, if you are earning $20,000 a year today, raise your sights in 50 percent increments. That is, say I make $30,000 a year. Then visualize, believe and use self-affirmation to reach your goal. This will improve your performance, your communication skills and open up your mind so you will do your job better or see new opportunities that are open to you. Your goals should have about a 50-50 chance of achievement. This means they are believable and the subconscious mind can go to work on them. Once you have reached a point of success, you can reaffirm and work on the remaining portion of the achievement of the goal. For instance, say you would like to lose 40 pounds. Instead of setting 40 pounds as your goal, visualize yourself five or ten pounds lighter. Goals are reached one step at a time. When you have lost 10 pounds, set your goal to lose another 10 pounds.
Make your goals challenging and let them make you stretch. Each of your goals should be for the next level of attainment. Striving for our goals takes us out of our comfort zone and causes us to grow with each accomplishment. Make them difficult enough to be challenging but believable enough to be attainable.
Write down your goals. This is the way you program your goal into the subconscious It is very important to accomplishing goals. The more detailed and precise you write it down the better. Write exactly how you would like it to happen.
For example, if you want a new house, you would not merely say, "I want a 3,000 square foot house." You would instead describe the house as you want it to be, as you picture it. "I want a three bedroom, split-level house with...etc." Until a goal is written down on paper, it is not a goal, it is a wish.
Determine how you will benefit by achieving your goal. Write out all the benefits and advantages you will receive upon achieving your goal. If your goal is financial, then write out all the differences it will make in your life when you attain your goal. The more reasons you can have for reaching the goal, the more irresistible the goal will become for you. You will develop a force, a power and a conviction that makes you virtually unstoppable in reaching your goal.
Analyze your position. Where are you right now in regard to your goal? If your goal is financial, how much more money will you need to reach your goal? Do an exact financial analysis of how much you are worth today.
Set a deadline. Set a time when you expect to reach your goal. Your major purpose in life should always be measurable specific and quantifiable. You should be able to count it and measure it so you always know how close you are to accomplishing it. The feeling of being a winner is an important part of being a winner. We can only feel like a winner when we are working towards an important goal. "Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or idea." Unless we can measure the beginning, the end, and the steps in between, we will lose the motivational power that lies in a major definite purpose.
Identify the obstacles you will have to overcome to reach your goal. If there are no obstacles, it is no goal; it is merely an activity. Once you have written the obstacles down on paper, you will find they do not seem as large as they did. There is usually only one or two things that will take much of your attention. The rest will seem insignificant.
Clearly identify the groups, people and organizations whose assistance you will need in order to reach your goal. This introduces three laws. The first law is the law of sowing and reaping, or the law of return. You only reap from having sown in previous periods. What you are reaping today is a result of what you have sown in the past. The law of return says the more you put in, the more you will get out, and you need to put in to get anything out. Second is the law of compensation. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Realizing this, in regards to the people whose assistance you need to succeed, we ask ourselves, "what can we do for them in order to get the assistance we need?" Third is the law of service. We can only succeed by serving our fellowman by providing goods and services that are of value to them. All successful men and women have begun by finding ways they can serve others. They have determined to go the extra mile and always do more than they are paid for. The starting point of all riches is to find out how you can give, how you can serve others to get in return what you want. Successful companies have an obsession with customer service.
Make a plan. Take all the details you have identified in the last three steps. Make it complete in every detail. Write out all the activities you will have to engage in to reach your goal. Once you have identified your activities, prioritize them in order of importance. All plans are merely activities laid out in terms of time and priorities.
Once you have committed your plan to paper, continually go back to it and rewrite it until it is the perfect plan. As you acquire new information, have new experiences, receive feedback and begin to move forward and have setbacks and disappointments and make mistakes, look at the plan and see where it has to be revised. All high-achievers think and write on paper. They do it over and over again. They plan their days, they plan their weeks and they plan their months. That is why they move ahead so rapidly.
Get a clear mental image of your goal as though it was already in existence right now. Every time you get a chance, play that picture of your goal on the screen of your mind.
Back your plan with determination and resolve to never, never give up. The best plan on earth will not work unless you do. Many people do all of the steps properly until they reach step 12. At the first sign of a problem, they give up. Persistence is very important to success. No matter how perfect your plan or how pure your heart, every person who has set out to do something out of the ordinary has suffered setback after setback before they found success. They have faced adversity and disappointment. The difference between the winners and the losers is that the winners pick themselves up and keep on trying while the losers whine "why me?" Remember this: "Self discipline is persistence in action." You can see how much self-discipline you have by how much persistence you have at working toward your goal. "Your persistence is your measure of faith in yourself."
You can tell how much faith you have in yourself by how willing you are to pick yourself up after a bitter disappointment. If you are willing to pick yourself up, there is literally nothing that can stop you!
Practice effective time management. All high-achievers use their time well. Every minute, hour or day that comes and goes is lost to us forever. If we do not use it well, we have lost an opportunity to move closer to our goal. There are six key points toward effective time management. First, have clearly defined goals. We waste allot of time when we only have vague, or worse yet, no idea of what we wish to accomplish. Second, have clear, detailed plans. We would never buy a list of materials and give it to a contractor and say "build me a house." He would ask, "where are the plans?" It is just as foolish to try to build a successful life without laying out a plan of what we wish to accomplish and what it will look like once we have reached our goals.
Make a list for each day. Lay out your list on Saturday for the upcoming week. Then make a list at the end of each day so your subconscious can work on it overnight. When you start off your day, refuse to do anything not on the list. Discipline yourself to write every new assignment down on the list. You will find that once you write it down, it does not seem as important as your first thought. If you do not use a list, you will find yourself responding to the urgent, rather than doing the important. You become preoccupied with trivia.
Two important things happen when you use a list. First, you will become organized and achieve more each day. Second, you will get a feeling of accomplishment as you check off each activity you have completed. You will feel you are on top of your life and in control. Without a list, at the end of the day, you will feel like you have been spinning your wheels and have accomplished very little. You will feel stressed out because you will feel you have made no real gains toward your goal. At the end of the day, transfer the things that you didn't get to that day to your list for the next day. You will find that by using a list you will sleep better at night because you know that your work is under control and down on paper. You will not have to worry about forgetting something important.
Set priorities on your list. The 80-20 rule says "80% of the value of any list is contained in 20% of activities." For example, if you have 10 items on your list, 80% of the value of what you wish to achieve today will be in about two of the ten items. Concentrate on those items first. This is the most efficient use of your time. Ask yourself regularly, "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?" You always must make a choice between one activity or another. Before you choose, ask yourself the question. All high-achievers know, "there is never enough time to do everything, but there is always time to do the most important things." Ask yourself, "if I had to go out of town tomorrow and only had time to do one thing, What one thing would I do?" Put a circle around that--that will set your priority.
Use concentration and single handling. Successful people do first things first, and they stay with them until they are complete. It is important to find blocks of time that are devoted to handling your top priority without interruption. Otherwise you will pick up and set down a project four or five times, thereby taking too much time to accomplish it.
Develop a sense of urgency. Do it now! Don't procrastinate! Less than 2 percent of the people in our society have a sense of urgency. Less than 2 percent of the people will do a thing the first time it comes up--98 percent of the people put off even minor tasks for another time. The best way to stand out from your peers and make your superiors stand up and take notice is to do a task as soon as possible. Bosses always go to the person who gets it done now. They pay them more, and they respect those employees more than those who put it off until next week.
Remember, "Obstacles are what you see when you take your mind off your goal." Your mind can only hold one thought at a time--positive or negative--and your goal is a positive thought. Always think about your goal. It is impossible to be troubled by petty little problems when you are concentrating on your goal. You will feel alive and full of energy when you keep your goal in mind. When others tell you about their goals, encourage them to "go for it." Everyone should have goals in order to be happy. As you accomplish your goal, set new goals. Goals are what make life worth living.